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*holds her hand gently and kisses it, then her arm, and works himself all the way up to her lips* Cara mia, you have been dearly missed.

"However shall I make up for time lost, my dear?"

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time to have evil sex with my villain wife

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You are the queen of the nasty black orchids, my dear

“I think you might just be right. After all, it isn’t just me, out of the two of us, who enjoys the nastier parts of life.” 

And having someone tag along for those is always pleasant.

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Isn’t it time to acknowledge the ugly side? I’ve grown quite weary of the spunky heroines, brave rape victims, soul-searching fashionistas that stock so many books. I particularly mourn the lack of female villains — good, potent female villains. Not ill-tempered women who scheme about landing good men and better shoes (as if we had nothing more interesting to war over), not chilly WASP mothers (emotionally distant isn’t necessarily evil), not soapy vixens (merely bitchy doesn’t qualify either). I’m talking violent, wicked women. Scary women. Don’t tell me you don’t know some. The point is, women have spent so many years girl-powering ourselves — to the point of almost parodic encouragement — we’ve left no room to acknowledge our dark side. Dark sides are important. They should be nurtured like nasty black orchids.

Gillian Flynn (via elucipher)

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I love you wildly, insanely, infinitely.

Boris Pasternak, Doctor Zhivago (via books-n-quotes)

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Loves what she eats.

Under extremely specific circumstances, she might be willing to share. Such circumstances may include: 1) she is drunk & unsure of her own surroundings. A passing stranger would seem a good target to leech onto and try to bribe with food. 2) Awkward elevator silence. 3) Someone has an animal she wants to pet. 4) Distraction tactic before pickpocketing someone.

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Describe your muse in a really shitty way

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Reblog if your muse would pick a fight in a parking lot at 3am

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I AM HAPPY TO RP PLATONICALLY

Not everything has to be a ship

not every thread has to be lovey dovey.

I want friendships, enemies, family

I want everything real life has.

I don’t just rp for shipping.

I rp for it all.

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God I love crocs and their entire family tree so much. These are animals that have remained virtually the same for millions of years-pretty much as close to “perfect” as you can get in nature-and this highly optimized body plan is just. A fat sausage with a mouth at one end and chubby baby arms.

This is what peak performance looks like.

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it's a dog eat dog world, and your teeth are pretty big

“Why of course. I didn’t come here to make friends.” She came for fun and glory.

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