tesha-rayne

[tesha-rayne]

Before I head to bed I'll leave this update... I had been stressed about running out of Body wash and Shampoo this weekend and a very kind person in my streaming community was kind enough to send me some money before I completely run out. Sometimes, life is teaching you that it's ok to rely on others when we don't have any other option. I'm so very grateful for those who have helped me while I've been struggling to find work. I was trying really hard to not let it affect me in such a way that would tank everything else I've been working on. I'm putting my faith in the universe to steer me in the right direction. I am going to start streaming longer days in effort to have a little bit more income. <3 goodnight world

[tesha-rayne]

I signed the last document to sever the ties to someone who never wanted to be with me. <3 I'm allowing myself to celebrate things that no longer serve me.

[tesha-rayne]

San Diego 2024

This weekend really helped me come to terms with where I am and where I'm going concerning my personal growth. Over the past few years, I've been working on mindfulness and self awareness. Which, less be honest, can be very difficult if you are use to letting your emotions navigate you. Also, I've finally arrived at a place in my life where I feel as if I'm in the best environment for me. I'm surrounded by a love that is nurturing and learning how to stop deflecting for the sake of hiding my true feelings. I know that must sound weird to anyone who doesn't understand my previous situation, but that's ok. You just need to know, that I was in a place where I can't express myself without having people deliberately misunderstand you for no other reason than to control the situation by means of manipulation. This weekend I am reminded that I'm loved by those who have gotten the chance to actually know me. Those who actually want to be in my life vs just liking the idea of having me around like an object of conquest. So, what took place? I did a heroic dose of mushrooms and had a profound experience and an overwhelming amount of gratitude for these guys that are in my universe. Like really, I don't know how I ended up in San Diego after declaring that I simply couldn't go. But I honestly would have missed the experience of a lifetime. I'm so grateful that this is my life, that one can go through such despair and yet still have the heart big enough to reciprocate the love I've been giving. I was so comfortable around these guys that for the first time in my life I didn't have a panic attack from the lock on the bathroom not working. D: I didn't get many pictures due to wanting to focus more so on taking this experience in as a way to overwrite my previous trip that made me want to give up on all the things I've been working towards. But here I am showing that I'm resilient and nothing is going to stop me. <3 I love everyone I was able to hang out with this weekend. <3 Here's the much asked for Photos from the trip: