testosterone-log

[testosterone-log]

Day 143 (missed 140-142)

- sorryyyyyyyy ive been busy lol

- my mom asked for a T update which was weird lol. Like not bad weird just kinda like "???"

- also ive decided not to post abt my bf anymore until august (when i see him next) bc i cant get his permission to talk abt him online lol.

NSFW below :3

- in the absence of my bf i have been indugling in so much porn but like only for my specific kink that i havent really explored lol

- im too shy to share the kink atm but maybe someday lol

[testosterone-log]

"But Moth isnt a real name! Its a bug!!!"

There are people named Cat

"Thats short for Caitlyn!!!"

My name is now Mothalemeu is that better

[testosterone-log]

Notes game for the holidays ig

10 notes. Drink some water.

20 notes. Clean room.

40 notes. Stop picking skin.

60 notes. Stop chewing nails

100 notes. Finish art commission no1

200 notes. Start art commission no2

500 notes. Finish school art project

750 notes. Write more of my fanfic that I may or may not have completely forgotten about.

1000 notes. Check in on skin picking and nail chewing

3000 notes. Come out as aroace.

Green=complete

Orange=in progress

White=not started.

[testosterone-log]

a lot of what im into sexual-style is rooted in my evil mental illness

[testosterone-log]

Day 139

- i havent been working out lately :(

- im pretty demotivated rn so not much to report today lol

[testosterone-log]

Hey transmascs with ADHD and no gym membership how the FUCK do you remember to work out

Please :(

[testosterone-log]

Day 138

- apparently i was so smelly today that my brother had to dramatically cover his nose, step a meter away from me and demand that i shower.

- Nobody else could smell me tho lol

[testosterone-log]

Day 137

- talked to a fellow transmasc today who was post top surgery (pretty cool!!!)

- theyre fun and they were super helpful! I was finally told that my fear of being put under anesthesia was irrational! Yay!!! :D

- so excited for top surgery :3 soon (within multiple months)

[testosterone-log]

Welp.

[testosterone-log]

Cnc is CONSENSUAL non-consent. Like what is the problem. Genuinely what is the problem. It is consensual. "Oh but what if they do something i actually dont like-" Have You Ever Heard Of A Safeword. "Oh but what if i actually tell them no and-" then its not consensual anymore because they are not respecting the safeword. Thats strawman babe. "Oh but what if-" what if had slutty gay sex with my boyfriend and he begged me to stop and i only fucked him harder and you sat in the cuck chair. And all of it was consensual. Including the cuck chair part

love going on callout posts for "thinks cnc is okay" and seeing people talk about how us freaks need the electric chair. fantasizing about violence is okay as long as its not sexual, funny that

[testosterone-log]

Day 136

- sometimes i forget my boyfriend can see my posts lol

- hes in town!!! Oh God

[testosterone-log]

Day 135

- there are hairs on my feets

- and by that i mean i KNEW that hair follicles can technically open anywhere except for very specific spots and i already HAD toe hair but i guess it never occurred to me that i could just??? Grow hairs??? On the top of my feets?????

- i will NOT be showing pictures sorry foot fetish people :(

[testosterone-log]

Ok but. I kinda lowkey genuinely feel this way about spicy food (yes im white)

BDSM is cool tho

I need to see BDSM haters go on rants about the evils of capsaicin

[testosterone-log]

Day 134

- aough undertale :( literally played it so hard i almost forgot to take my T lmfao

- almost

- i get more gender envy from asgore than any man ive ever met (and lowkey some from undyne)

[testosterone-log]

Day 133

- Feeling pretty down today. Just in general. Probably the post highschool unemployment getting to me lol

- i did have a fun convo with the surgery clinic today it was like

Clinic girl going over my medical history: so youre currently diagnosed with anxiety and depression but unmedicated

Me: yep thats correct

Clinic girl: is the anxiety and depression manageable?

Me: thanks to the testosterone, yeah

Clinic girl: :D yay! Im so happy for you!

[testosterone-log]

Day 132

- played way too much undertale today (im trying to play true pacifist all the way through and then deltarune immediately after)

- that being said not much else to report today

[testosterone-log]

thank you Canada 🇨🇦