testytendencies

[testytendencies]

@ofhonorastute

Okay, Jack. Miguel and I will go and get some subs from that sandwich place. {I nodded in response as I glanced over at Miguel. He gave me a nod of response as if to assure me he was on board with the plan. At that, I shifted up onto my feet so I could retrieve my purse; stopping briefly by Jack's hospital bed to lean in to press a tender kiss to his lips before I prepared to leave} Take good care of your dad while I'm gone. {I gently requested of Kate and Randall as they remained camped out on each side of Jack's hospital bed. Without another thought or word, Miguel and I left the hospital room. I knew I should also be resting. Yes, Jack got the worst of last night's fire, but I had burns across my body too... Ones that I was trying to hide for the sake of remaining strong for my family, but I was drained and in pain nonetheless... All that to say, when I offered to get food, I meant the cafeteria downstairs, and not a sandwich shop that was quite a walk from here. Regardless, Jack nearly died and just went through hell with that surgery, so if sandwiches was what he wanted, then that's what I'd get for him. I silently told myself as Miguel pulled the hospital door closed behind us, and then the two of us began the walk toward the hospital exit. As Miguel and I walked, we made casual conversation with each other. Mostly about the fire, Jack, the kids, and everything surrounding those topics. Although it was unsettling to discuss the realities of all of this, it did feel good to be able to say some of the things that I couldn't in front of the kids}

Continued

@testytendencies 

Burns; you see it displayed in movies; on television. But you never anticipate being the one on the other side. Jack felt worn down; he felt like his body was on fire. From the mask that was attached to his face to help his breathing; from the lack of oxygen coursing through his body. The smoke inhalation had caused his lungs damage; he felt it. He knew there was a reason why the doctors told me to stay put; to relax despite all the fire his skin felt like. He knew the wires were to help his lungs; he decided against sharing that information with Kate when he woke up. She was already attached to my side; she was holding my hand as if her life depended on it. I understood she was my daughter; and she definitely had more of an attachment to me, I could see the fear she felt when I had climbed down from the house; when I heard the swallowing breathing the coughs that had emitted from my lips. It wasn’t easy to watch someone you love risk their lives; to wonder if they’d come out on the other side. 

Weakness; the way his eyes had to adjust to the light; the way my chest slowly raised and fell; but Kate was only a teenager she wouldn’t of known the signs. Nor do I think I’d be stuck to a hospital bed if the doctors felt I was stable. I was the one that took in the most smoke; I knew the risks with my lungs but at the moment I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was saving my family; the family I walked from. The people I wanted to prove I was okay; that I was capable of being the parent and husband they deserved. 

Eyes had kept blinking shut back and forth until I heard her voice; the tenderness; the care when her face came into view. My wife; she was okay. A Gentle smile came to tug at the corners of my lips. I wore a brave face, I didn’t want to worry her or our kids. I wanted to feel okay. Upon her sitting at the edge of my bed; I felt Kate loosen her grip on my palm before I felt her hand leave mine. She had taken the time to reach for her mom; placing a hand over hers. A sight I loved to see; seeing as the pair never liked to see eye to eye. 

A sheepish grin displayed upon my lips; I let my hand find hers; fingers easily laced through her own. How am I? Honestly I was wore; O felt like my chest was on fire. I felt like each time I removed this oxygen Mask from my face; It only lasted a few minutes before I struggled to breathe again. I felt the tighten in my chest when I breathed in too deep. But I stared at my son, my daughter and my wife and I couldn’t say the words. I was barely holding on with the fear of worrying the people I cared for. “ I’m fine.” Fine perhaps the more I said the words it be true. Rebecca knew me; I knew she doubted me which is why she asked Kate and Randell to go phone Miguel; I had hummed an okay; As I whispered “ I love you” To the kids; giving an attempt at a sten expression to indicate I wanted the kids to listen to Miguel. He was family. 

Brief minutes when the sound of smaller feet disappeared from earshot, hand fully wrapped around her own, as I tried to be more reassuring. “ My Lungs took in way more smoke than the doctors had anticipated. That’s why they want me to stay overnight. But I’ll be fine Beccs.” Pausing swallowing the slight lump in his chest; he had brought their linked hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “ I didn’t come all this way back to you only to leave again, I’ll be fine I promise.” A promise I held my breath on keeping.

[testytendencies]

@ofhonorastute

He'll come around, Jack. When he's ready, he'll be here. {One thing was for sure, I loved our son Kevin with all of my heart, but he was always our most challenging child. Randall was easy-going and never gave us an ounce of trouble, and Kate thought the sun rose and set with Jack, so although I was pretty certain she hated me, Jack always knew how to reason with her. Kevin, on the other hand, he was our wild card child, you could say. He didn't seem to have a particular bond with Jack or I either one, and I got the sense that if we allowed him to, he'd leave us completely and not look back. He was hard-headed, stubborn, and a bit selfish at times, so even in times like this where he should be here with his family, Kevin was off on his own processing all of it. In knowing that about his, I knew no amount of begging on our parts would get him here. In fact, it would probably have the opposite effect. All that to say, we were better off waiting on him to work it all out in his mind, and then to come when he was ready to face everyone... However long that might take} How about some food? Is anyone hungry? If so, Miguel and I could walk down to the cafeteria to get some food, and bring it back here for everyone? {I offered which was responded to by Randall with a bright, loving smile} "I'll go with you, mom." {I flashed Randall a loving, gracious smile in response. Now it was a matter of hearing if anyone was even in the mood to eat before I would proceed with the plan I just laid out on the table for us to consider}

Continued

@testytendencies 

Burns; you see it displayed in movies; on television. But you never anticipate being the one on the other side. Jack felt worn down; he felt like his body was on fire. From the mask that was attached to his face to help his breathing; from the lack of oxygen coursing through his body. The smoke inhalation had caused his lungs damage; he felt it. He knew there was a reason why the doctors told me to stay put; to relax despite all the fire his skin felt like. He knew the wires were to help his lungs; he decided against sharing that information with Kate when he woke up. She was already attached to my side; she was holding my hand as if her life depended on it. I understood she was my daughter; and she definitely had more of an attachment to me, I could see the fear she felt when I had climbed down from the house; when I heard the swallowing breathing the coughs that had emitted from my lips. It wasn’t easy to watch someone you love risk their lives; to wonder if they’d come out on the other side. 

Weakness; the way his eyes had to adjust to the light; the way my chest slowly raised and fell; but Kate was only a teenager she wouldn’t of known the signs. Nor do I think I’d be stuck to a hospital bed if the doctors felt I was stable. I was the one that took in the most smoke; I knew the risks with my lungs but at the moment I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was saving my family; the family I walked from. The people I wanted to prove I was okay; that I was capable of being the parent and husband they deserved. 

Eyes had kept blinking shut back and forth until I heard her voice; the tenderness; the care when her face came into view. My wife; she was okay. A Gentle smile came to tug at the corners of my lips. I wore a brave face, I didn’t want to worry her or our kids. I wanted to feel okay. Upon her sitting at the edge of my bed; I felt Kate loosen her grip on my palm before I felt her hand leave mine. She had taken the time to reach for her mom; placing a hand over hers. A sight I loved to see; seeing as the pair never liked to see eye to eye. 

A sheepish grin displayed upon my lips; I let my hand find hers; fingers easily laced through her own. How am I? Honestly I was wore; O felt like my chest was on fire. I felt like each time I removed this oxygen Mask from my face; It only lasted a few minutes before I struggled to breathe again. I felt the tighten in my chest when I breathed in too deep. But I stared at my son, my daughter and my wife and I couldn’t say the words. I was barely holding on with the fear of worrying the people I cared for. “ I’m fine.” Fine perhaps the more I said the words it be true. Rebecca knew me; I knew she doubted me which is why she asked Kate and Randell to go phone Miguel; I had hummed an okay; As I whispered “ I love you” To the kids; giving an attempt at a sten expression to indicate I wanted the kids to listen to Miguel. He was family. 

Brief minutes when the sound of smaller feet disappeared from earshot, hand fully wrapped around her own, as I tried to be more reassuring. “ My Lungs took in way more smoke than the doctors had anticipated. That’s why they want me to stay overnight. But I’ll be fine Beccs.” Pausing swallowing the slight lump in his chest; he had brought their linked hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “ I didn’t come all this way back to you only to leave again, I’ll be fine I promise.” A promise I held my breath on keeping.

[testytendencies]

@ofhonorastute

It's okay... Give him time and I'm sure he'll come around. {I tried to sound reassuringly. Jack and I knew how stubborn and headstrong Kevin could be, so he wasn't the sort of kid who could be pushed into doing anything he didn't want to do. Case and point here and now. We could all but beg him to come to the hospital to visit his father, who nearly died while saving all of us, but until Kevin was ready to do it, he'd stay as far away from here as possible} You know Kevin as well as I do... He will come around eventually, but he won't, in spite of how much begging we do, unless it's on his timing. {I tried to reason with Jack. I knew he wanted all of his kids around him right now, and I completely understood that, but we couldn't force Kevin or it will just push him to rebel even more than he already was. In the meantime, I hoped Jack could just rest and relax with two-thirds of his kids, me, and Miguel here to keep him company}

Continued

@testytendencies 

Burns; you see it displayed in movies; on television. But you never anticipate being the one on the other side. Jack felt worn down; he felt like his body was on fire. From the mask that was attached to his face to help his breathing; from the lack of oxygen coursing through his body. The smoke inhalation had caused his lungs damage; he felt it. He knew there was a reason why the doctors told me to stay put; to relax despite all the fire his skin felt like. He knew the wires were to help his lungs; he decided against sharing that information with Kate when he woke up. She was already attached to my side; she was holding my hand as if her life depended on it. I understood she was my daughter; and she definitely had more of an attachment to me, I could see the fear she felt when I had climbed down from the house; when I heard the swallowing breathing the coughs that had emitted from my lips. It wasn’t easy to watch someone you love risk their lives; to wonder if they’d come out on the other side. 

Weakness; the way his eyes had to adjust to the light; the way my chest slowly raised and fell; but Kate was only a teenager she wouldn’t of known the signs. Nor do I think I’d be stuck to a hospital bed if the doctors felt I was stable. I was the one that took in the most smoke; I knew the risks with my lungs but at the moment I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was saving my family; the family I walked from. The people I wanted to prove I was okay; that I was capable of being the parent and husband they deserved. 

Eyes had kept blinking shut back and forth until I heard her voice; the tenderness; the care when her face came into view. My wife; she was okay. A Gentle smile came to tug at the corners of my lips. I wore a brave face, I didn’t want to worry her or our kids. I wanted to feel okay. Upon her sitting at the edge of my bed; I felt Kate loosen her grip on my palm before I felt her hand leave mine. She had taken the time to reach for her mom; placing a hand over hers. A sight I loved to see; seeing as the pair never liked to see eye to eye. 

A sheepish grin displayed upon my lips; I let my hand find hers; fingers easily laced through her own. How am I? Honestly I was wore; O felt like my chest was on fire. I felt like each time I removed this oxygen Mask from my face; It only lasted a few minutes before I struggled to breathe again. I felt the tighten in my chest when I breathed in too deep. But I stared at my son, my daughter and my wife and I couldn’t say the words. I was barely holding on with the fear of worrying the people I cared for. “ I’m fine.” Fine perhaps the more I said the words it be true. Rebecca knew me; I knew she doubted me which is why she asked Kate and Randell to go phone Miguel; I had hummed an okay; As I whispered “ I love you” To the kids; giving an attempt at a sten expression to indicate I wanted the kids to listen to Miguel. He was family. 

Brief minutes when the sound of smaller feet disappeared from earshot, hand fully wrapped around her own, as I tried to be more reassuring. “ My Lungs took in way more smoke than the doctors had anticipated. That’s why they want me to stay overnight. But I’ll be fine Beccs.” Pausing swallowing the slight lump in his chest; he had brought their linked hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “ I didn’t come all this way back to you only to leave again, I’ll be fine I promise.” A promise I held my breath on keeping.

[testytendencies]

@ofhonorastute

{I stepped back so the kids could spend a few moments alone with Jack. I knew they needed this. Part of the reason that Katie and Kevin both resented me was because they blamed me for Jack leaving us. It seemed like Randall was the only one of our three kids who didn't hate me. I thought silently to myself as I remained back near the door with Miguel} "I'll see what I can do, Jack." {Miguel said as he briefly left the hospital room. I didn't know if there was anyway we could get a hold of Kevin now, but I figured if Miguel could think of something, he'd do it} "I already asked Sophie's mom to tell Kevin to come here once him and Sophie got back to her house." {Kate explained to Jack, which I know wasn't necessarily the answer Jack would want, but it was the best we could do at this point in time. Kevin was stubborn and a bit selfish at times. He didn't always think through, so if it was left up to him, something told me his pride would keep him as far away from this hospital room as possible. Sophie was our only real advocate now because I knew if anyone could talk some sense into Kevin, it was her} If Sophie and him are together, she'll convince him to come here... {I quietly aired out optimistically. Truthfully though, none of us really knew for certain what would happen one way or another. In the meantime, at least most of our family was here together now}

Continued

@testytendencies 

Burns; you see it displayed in movies; on television. But you never anticipate being the one on the other side. Jack felt worn down; he felt like his body was on fire. From the mask that was attached to his face to help his breathing; from the lack of oxygen coursing through his body. The smoke inhalation had caused his lungs damage; he felt it. He knew there was a reason why the doctors told me to stay put; to relax despite all the fire his skin felt like. He knew the wires were to help his lungs; he decided against sharing that information with Kate when he woke up. She was already attached to my side; she was holding my hand as if her life depended on it. I understood she was my daughter; and she definitely had more of an attachment to me, I could see the fear she felt when I had climbed down from the house; when I heard the swallowing breathing the coughs that had emitted from my lips. It wasn’t easy to watch someone you love risk their lives; to wonder if they’d come out on the other side. 

Weakness; the way his eyes had to adjust to the light; the way my chest slowly raised and fell; but Kate was only a teenager she wouldn’t of known the signs. Nor do I think I’d be stuck to a hospital bed if the doctors felt I was stable. I was the one that took in the most smoke; I knew the risks with my lungs but at the moment I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was saving my family; the family I walked from. The people I wanted to prove I was okay; that I was capable of being the parent and husband they deserved. 

Eyes had kept blinking shut back and forth until I heard her voice; the tenderness; the care when her face came into view. My wife; she was okay. A Gentle smile came to tug at the corners of my lips. I wore a brave face, I didn’t want to worry her or our kids. I wanted to feel okay. Upon her sitting at the edge of my bed; I felt Kate loosen her grip on my palm before I felt her hand leave mine. She had taken the time to reach for her mom; placing a hand over hers. A sight I loved to see; seeing as the pair never liked to see eye to eye. 

A sheepish grin displayed upon my lips; I let my hand find hers; fingers easily laced through her own. How am I? Honestly I was wore; O felt like my chest was on fire. I felt like each time I removed this oxygen Mask from my face; It only lasted a few minutes before I struggled to breathe again. I felt the tighten in my chest when I breathed in too deep. But I stared at my son, my daughter and my wife and I couldn’t say the words. I was barely holding on with the fear of worrying the people I cared for. “ I’m fine.” Fine perhaps the more I said the words it be true. Rebecca knew me; I knew she doubted me which is why she asked Kate and Randell to go phone Miguel; I had hummed an okay; As I whispered “ I love you” To the kids; giving an attempt at a sten expression to indicate I wanted the kids to listen to Miguel. He was family. 

Brief minutes when the sound of smaller feet disappeared from earshot, hand fully wrapped around her own, as I tried to be more reassuring. “ My Lungs took in way more smoke than the doctors had anticipated. That’s why they want me to stay overnight. But I’ll be fine Beccs.” Pausing swallowing the slight lump in his chest; he had brought their linked hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “ I didn’t come all this way back to you only to leave again, I’ll be fine I promise.” A promise I held my breath on keeping.

[testytendencies]

@ofhonorastute

Jack, it’s not your fault. I love our son, but he tends to overreact, at times. {I said in a reassuring reply. Knowing Kevin running away was more about his rebellious nature than it was in whatever Jack said to him about football. That’s how Kevin was. Anytime he didn’t get his own way or someone said something he didn’t like, he reacted selfishly and as a means of some kind of temper tantrum. I loved all three of our kids, but they certainly had their strengths and weaknesses when it came to their very different personalities} Worse comes to worse, if Miguel and the kids can’t find him, I’ll call Sophie’s mom later, explain what happened, and she’ll track them down for us. I mean, it’s pretty safe to say that wherever he is, he’s with Sophie. {I added with a smile as my thumb gently traced back and forth across the top of Jack’s hand while he rested here in the hospital bed… Before long, Miguel and our kids arrived; prompting me to release my hold on Jack’s hand and shift off of his hospital bed then onto my feet, so Randall and Kate could greet their dad. I locked eyes with Miguel briefly in noticing Kevin’s absence from the hospital room; prompting him to shake his head no and then mouth an apology. At that, I stepped toward Miguel so he could fill me in while Jack had a moment with our other two children} “We tracked him down and the kids talked to him… Filled him in on everything, but he refused to come here with us.” {Miguel explained; prompting me to bob my head in response} That’s fine. He’ll come around eventually. For now I have a feeling he’s angry and upset over the loss of our home and recent circumstances, so he’s acting out in Kevin’like fashion as a result… Probably a little guilt too that Jack and I nearly died trying to get down to the basement to find him only to find out he had snuck out and wasn’t even there. {I shared quietly with Miguel before adding} This is how Kevin processes things, so once he does, and realizes he needs to face the reality of the situation, he will come around. {Mind you, I had no way of knowing if that would actually happen this time around, but going on what I knew about my son’s behavior as well as my optimistic nature, I could only hope that I was right about this situation too} 

Continued

@testytendencies 

Burns; you see it displayed in movies; on television. But you never anticipate being the one on the other side. Jack felt worn down; he felt like his body was on fire. From the mask that was attached to his face to help his breathing; from the lack of oxygen coursing through his body. The smoke inhalation had caused his lungs damage; he felt it. He knew there was a reason why the doctors told me to stay put; to relax despite all the fire his skin felt like. He knew the wires were to help his lungs; he decided against sharing that information with Kate when he woke up. She was already attached to my side; she was holding my hand as if her life depended on it. I understood she was my daughter; and she definitely had more of an attachment to me, I could see the fear she felt when I had climbed down from the house; when I heard the swallowing breathing the coughs that had emitted from my lips. It wasn’t easy to watch someone you love risk their lives; to wonder if they’d come out on the other side. 

Weakness; the way his eyes had to adjust to the light; the way my chest slowly raised and fell; but Kate was only a teenager she wouldn’t of known the signs. Nor do I think I’d be stuck to a hospital bed if the doctors felt I was stable. I was the one that took in the most smoke; I knew the risks with my lungs but at the moment I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was saving my family; the family I walked from. The people I wanted to prove I was okay; that I was capable of being the parent and husband they deserved. 

Eyes had kept blinking shut back and forth until I heard her voice; the tenderness; the care when her face came into view. My wife; she was okay. A Gentle smile came to tug at the corners of my lips. I wore a brave face, I didn’t want to worry her or our kids. I wanted to feel okay. Upon her sitting at the edge of my bed; I felt Kate loosen her grip on my palm before I felt her hand leave mine. She had taken the time to reach for her mom; placing a hand over hers. A sight I loved to see; seeing as the pair never liked to see eye to eye. 

A sheepish grin displayed upon my lips; I let my hand find hers; fingers easily laced through her own. How am I? Honestly I was wore; O felt like my chest was on fire. I felt like each time I removed this oxygen Mask from my face; It only lasted a few minutes before I struggled to breathe again. I felt the tighten in my chest when I breathed in too deep. But I stared at my son, my daughter and my wife and I couldn’t say the words. I was barely holding on with the fear of worrying the people I cared for. “ I’m fine.” Fine perhaps the more I said the words it be true. Rebecca knew me; I knew she doubted me which is why she asked Kate and Randell to go phone Miguel; I had hummed an okay; As I whispered “ I love you” To the kids; giving an attempt at a sten expression to indicate I wanted the kids to listen to Miguel. He was family. 

Brief minutes when the sound of smaller feet disappeared from earshot, hand fully wrapped around her own, as I tried to be more reassuring. “ My Lungs took in way more smoke than the doctors had anticipated. That’s why they want me to stay overnight. But I’ll be fine Beccs.” Pausing swallowing the slight lump in his chest; he had brought their linked hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “ I didn’t come all this way back to you only to leave again, I’ll be fine I promise.” A promise I held my breath on keeping.

[testytendencies]

@ofhonorastute

{I gave a nod... Trying hard to believe what he was telling me now. If he assured me that everything was okay, then I would do my best to trust he wasn't just telling me that as a means of putting my mind at ease now. I silently considered as I left his hospital room and made my way out to the pay phone. As promised, I placed the call to Miguel and he assured me that he would bring the kids to the hospital to see Jack and I. Well, all but Kevin since nobody seemed to know where our other son was at the moment. The assumption was that he was somewhere off with Sophie, but the "where" side of it was the part that Miguel, Kate, or Randall seemed to know. I thought with a frustrated breath as I hung up the phone call with Miguel and then I returned to Jack's hospital room; greeting him with a smile as I entered} Miguel said him, Kate, and Randall will be here soon... Apparently none of them know where Kevin is currently, but Miguel said they'd try to take a couple of stops to locate him on their way here for visit. {I said with a lingering smile as I took a seat on the hospital bed beside Jack; all the while my hand lowered onto his own before I gave it a gentle squeeze. Kevin had always been our most challenging out of the three kids, while Randall was, by far, our easiest. Of course Kate thought her father walked on air, so Jack probably thought Kate was easy, but me, on the other hand, I was pretty much convinced she hated me; especially after Jack left this last time. She didn't know the circumstances behind it but she blamed me entirely for it. I silently considered as my thumb traced across the top of Jack's hand} Miguel said Kate and Randall are looking forward to seeing you. {I added with a reassuring smile}

Continued

@testytendencies 

Burns; you see it displayed in movies; on television. But you never anticipate being the one on the other side. Jack felt worn down; he felt like his body was on fire. From the mask that was attached to his face to help his breathing; from the lack of oxygen coursing through his body. The smoke inhalation had caused his lungs damage; he felt it. He knew there was a reason why the doctors told me to stay put; to relax despite all the fire his skin felt like. He knew the wires were to help his lungs; he decided against sharing that information with Kate when he woke up. She was already attached to my side; she was holding my hand as if her life depended on it. I understood she was my daughter; and she definitely had more of an attachment to me, I could see the fear she felt when I had climbed down from the house; when I heard the swallowing breathing the coughs that had emitted from my lips. It wasn’t easy to watch someone you love risk their lives; to wonder if they’d come out on the other side. 

Weakness; the way his eyes had to adjust to the light; the way my chest slowly raised and fell; but Kate was only a teenager she wouldn’t of known the signs. Nor do I think I’d be stuck to a hospital bed if the doctors felt I was stable. I was the one that took in the most smoke; I knew the risks with my lungs but at the moment I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was saving my family; the family I walked from. The people I wanted to prove I was okay; that I was capable of being the parent and husband they deserved. 

Eyes had kept blinking shut back and forth until I heard her voice; the tenderness; the care when her face came into view. My wife; she was okay. A Gentle smile came to tug at the corners of my lips. I wore a brave face, I didn’t want to worry her or our kids. I wanted to feel okay. Upon her sitting at the edge of my bed; I felt Kate loosen her grip on my palm before I felt her hand leave mine. She had taken the time to reach for her mom; placing a hand over hers. A sight I loved to see; seeing as the pair never liked to see eye to eye. 

A sheepish grin displayed upon my lips; I let my hand find hers; fingers easily laced through her own. How am I? Honestly I was wore; O felt like my chest was on fire. I felt like each time I removed this oxygen Mask from my face; It only lasted a few minutes before I struggled to breathe again. I felt the tighten in my chest when I breathed in too deep. But I stared at my son, my daughter and my wife and I couldn’t say the words. I was barely holding on with the fear of worrying the people I cared for. “ I’m fine.” Fine perhaps the more I said the words it be true. Rebecca knew me; I knew she doubted me which is why she asked Kate and Randell to go phone Miguel; I had hummed an okay; As I whispered “ I love you” To the kids; giving an attempt at a sten expression to indicate I wanted the kids to listen to Miguel. He was family. 

Brief minutes when the sound of smaller feet disappeared from earshot, hand fully wrapped around her own, as I tried to be more reassuring. “ My Lungs took in way more smoke than the doctors had anticipated. That’s why they want me to stay overnight. But I’ll be fine Beccs.” Pausing swallowing the slight lump in his chest; he had brought their linked hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “ I didn’t come all this way back to you only to leave again, I’ll be fine I promise.” A promise I held my breath on keeping.

[testytendencies]

@ofhonorastute

Okay... I'll go call Miguel and see if he'll bring them down here. {My brows furrowed slightly. Concern sinking into the corners of my face upon hearing the urgency in his voice... Leading me to wonder if he was feeling something that I should be calling the doctor about. Did he think he was going to have another health scare so he needed to see them again before that happens? Or is this desperation because the last time he saw them our house was burning down? I wondered as I asked} Jack... You're okay, right? Do you need me to get the doctor or anything? {Needing to make sure the love of my life is okay before I go anywhere} Once you assure me you're okay, I promise I will go out to the pay phone and I'll call Miguel. {I assured him. Wanting him to rest peacefully knowing his kids would be here soon, providing they were at Miguel's house and not out with their friends or anything. Well, knowing Kate and Randall, they would be at Miguel's house, but Kevin... Well, he was the wild card, you could say. We nearly died trying to find him in that house fire; only to learn the hard way that he wasn't even home because he had snuck out to his girlfriend's house. All that to say, it's hard to say where Kevin might be currently}

Continued

@testytendencies 

Burns; you see it displayed in movies; on television. But you never anticipate being the one on the other side. Jack felt worn down; he felt like his body was on fire. From the mask that was attached to his face to help his breathing; from the lack of oxygen coursing through his body. The smoke inhalation had caused his lungs damage; he felt it. He knew there was a reason why the doctors told me to stay put; to relax despite all the fire his skin felt like. He knew the wires were to help his lungs; he decided against sharing that information with Kate when he woke up. She was already attached to my side; she was holding my hand as if her life depended on it. I understood she was my daughter; and she definitely had more of an attachment to me, I could see the fear she felt when I had climbed down from the house; when I heard the swallowing breathing the coughs that had emitted from my lips. It wasn’t easy to watch someone you love risk their lives; to wonder if they’d come out on the other side. 

Weakness; the way his eyes had to adjust to the light; the way my chest slowly raised and fell; but Kate was only a teenager she wouldn’t of known the signs. Nor do I think I’d be stuck to a hospital bed if the doctors felt I was stable. I was the one that took in the most smoke; I knew the risks with my lungs but at the moment I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was saving my family; the family I walked from. The people I wanted to prove I was okay; that I was capable of being the parent and husband they deserved. 

Eyes had kept blinking shut back and forth until I heard her voice; the tenderness; the care when her face came into view. My wife; she was okay. A Gentle smile came to tug at the corners of my lips. I wore a brave face, I didn’t want to worry her or our kids. I wanted to feel okay. Upon her sitting at the edge of my bed; I felt Kate loosen her grip on my palm before I felt her hand leave mine. She had taken the time to reach for her mom; placing a hand over hers. A sight I loved to see; seeing as the pair never liked to see eye to eye. 

A sheepish grin displayed upon my lips; I let my hand find hers; fingers easily laced through her own. How am I? Honestly I was wore; O felt like my chest was on fire. I felt like each time I removed this oxygen Mask from my face; It only lasted a few minutes before I struggled to breathe again. I felt the tighten in my chest when I breathed in too deep. But I stared at my son, my daughter and my wife and I couldn’t say the words. I was barely holding on with the fear of worrying the people I cared for. “ I’m fine.” Fine perhaps the more I said the words it be true. Rebecca knew me; I knew she doubted me which is why she asked Kate and Randell to go phone Miguel; I had hummed an okay; As I whispered “ I love you” To the kids; giving an attempt at a sten expression to indicate I wanted the kids to listen to Miguel. He was family. 

Brief minutes when the sound of smaller feet disappeared from earshot, hand fully wrapped around her own, as I tried to be more reassuring. “ My Lungs took in way more smoke than the doctors had anticipated. That’s why they want me to stay overnight. But I’ll be fine Beccs.” Pausing swallowing the slight lump in his chest; he had brought their linked hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “ I didn’t come all this way back to you only to leave again, I’ll be fine I promise.” A promise I held my breath on keeping.

[testytendencies]

@ofhonorastute

Okay... Now? {I asked. Not really sure what the urgency in Jack's voice and request was coming from... Why he sounded like he desperately wanted and needed to see the kids, but I was more than happy to oblige} If so, I can go out to the pay phone to call Miguel. I can ask him if he'll bring the kids down to see you. I'm sure Miguel would be anxious to see you too. {Jack saved all of our lives, and we nearly lost him as a result, so if this is what he wanted and needed right here and now, then I would gladly do what I could to give him that. Personally, I would feel a bit more at ease if Jack took the remainder of the evening to rest following surgery, and then I ask Miguel to bring the kids by tomorrow to visit him, but my own worries and concerns aside, I wanted Jack to have anything he wanted or needed currently. Especially after everything he had been through. All that to say, it made perfect sense as to why he'd want to be surrounded by all of this family here and now} As long as you're up for the company here and now, I'll gladly go out and call Miguel. I'm sorry for the hesitation, but you know me, I'm a worrier by nature. {I explained as I flashed Jack a soft, loving smile} I just want to know that you're okay, Jack... Nearly losing you scared me. If you're sure you're ready for a room of visitors, then I'll gladly make it happen for you. {I added assuringly while the smile rested across my lips}

Continued

@testytendencies 

Burns; you see it displayed in movies; on television. But you never anticipate being the one on the other side. Jack felt worn down; he felt like his body was on fire. From the mask that was attached to his face to help his breathing; from the lack of oxygen coursing through his body. The smoke inhalation had caused his lungs damage; he felt it. He knew there was a reason why the doctors told me to stay put; to relax despite all the fire his skin felt like. He knew the wires were to help his lungs; he decided against sharing that information with Kate when he woke up. She was already attached to my side; she was holding my hand as if her life depended on it. I understood she was my daughter; and she definitely had more of an attachment to me, I could see the fear she felt when I had climbed down from the house; when I heard the swallowing breathing the coughs that had emitted from my lips. It wasn’t easy to watch someone you love risk their lives; to wonder if they’d come out on the other side. 

Weakness; the way his eyes had to adjust to the light; the way my chest slowly raised and fell; but Kate was only a teenager she wouldn’t of known the signs. Nor do I think I’d be stuck to a hospital bed if the doctors felt I was stable. I was the one that took in the most smoke; I knew the risks with my lungs but at the moment I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was saving my family; the family I walked from. The people I wanted to prove I was okay; that I was capable of being the parent and husband they deserved. 

Eyes had kept blinking shut back and forth until I heard her voice; the tenderness; the care when her face came into view. My wife; she was okay. A Gentle smile came to tug at the corners of my lips. I wore a brave face, I didn’t want to worry her or our kids. I wanted to feel okay. Upon her sitting at the edge of my bed; I felt Kate loosen her grip on my palm before I felt her hand leave mine. She had taken the time to reach for her mom; placing a hand over hers. A sight I loved to see; seeing as the pair never liked to see eye to eye. 

A sheepish grin displayed upon my lips; I let my hand find hers; fingers easily laced through her own. How am I? Honestly I was wore; O felt like my chest was on fire. I felt like each time I removed this oxygen Mask from my face; It only lasted a few minutes before I struggled to breathe again. I felt the tighten in my chest when I breathed in too deep. But I stared at my son, my daughter and my wife and I couldn’t say the words. I was barely holding on with the fear of worrying the people I cared for. “ I’m fine.” Fine perhaps the more I said the words it be true. Rebecca knew me; I knew she doubted me which is why she asked Kate and Randell to go phone Miguel; I had hummed an okay; As I whispered “ I love you” To the kids; giving an attempt at a sten expression to indicate I wanted the kids to listen to Miguel. He was family. 

Brief minutes when the sound of smaller feet disappeared from earshot, hand fully wrapped around her own, as I tried to be more reassuring. “ My Lungs took in way more smoke than the doctors had anticipated. That’s why they want me to stay overnight. But I’ll be fine Beccs.” Pausing swallowing the slight lump in his chest; he had brought their linked hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “ I didn’t come all this way back to you only to leave again, I’ll be fine I promise.” A promise I held my breath on keeping.

[testytendencies]

@ofhonorastute

{I didn't know how much time had passed since I took a seat at Jack's hospital bedside. I knew the surgeon told me it could be hours before Jack awoke following surgery, but each minute felt like it was an eternity to me. I knew I wouldn't rest at ease until I saw for myself that Jack was awake and okay. Honestly, I don't know how long had actually passed before I saw him begin stirring awake. Upon hearing his voice though, a soft sigh of relief left my lips and a smile followed} I am so glad that you're awake. {I aired out in obvious relief as I leaned forward to press a tender, yet loving kiss to his lips before retracting once more. Not wanting him to overdue it after everything he's been through} I know what you mean... I'll monitor that. {I knew Jack was afraid of forming an addiction to the pain medication, and I respected that he didn't want to run that risk, but at the same point, given how much pain he was in currently, I knew he needed them. Either way, I would respect Jack's request, and watch all of that closely while he's in here recovering} That's good then because I have no intentions of going anywhere. You're stuck with me. {I said with a teasing tone while a smile radiated my lips, but I meant every word of that. There was no way I was leaving Jack's side} Miguel said he'll bring the kids in later to visit you if you're feeling up to it. {Knowing even if he wasn't up to it, Jack would always want to see his kids. They were his world. I thought silently to myself as I brought his hand to my lips and pressed a gentle, loving kiss to the back of his hand. Ultimately letting our conjoined hands rest back on the hospital bed beside him} Can I get you anything? Some water, maybe?

Continued

@testytendencies 

Burns; you see it displayed in movies; on television. But you never anticipate being the one on the other side. Jack felt worn down; he felt like his body was on fire. From the mask that was attached to his face to help his breathing; from the lack of oxygen coursing through his body. The smoke inhalation had caused his lungs damage; he felt it. He knew there was a reason why the doctors told me to stay put; to relax despite all the fire his skin felt like. He knew the wires were to help his lungs; he decided against sharing that information with Kate when he woke up. She was already attached to my side; she was holding my hand as if her life depended on it. I understood she was my daughter; and she definitely had more of an attachment to me, I could see the fear she felt when I had climbed down from the house; when I heard the swallowing breathing the coughs that had emitted from my lips. It wasn’t easy to watch someone you love risk their lives; to wonder if they’d come out on the other side. 

Weakness; the way his eyes had to adjust to the light; the way my chest slowly raised and fell; but Kate was only a teenager she wouldn’t of known the signs. Nor do I think I’d be stuck to a hospital bed if the doctors felt I was stable. I was the one that took in the most smoke; I knew the risks with my lungs but at the moment I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was saving my family; the family I walked from. The people I wanted to prove I was okay; that I was capable of being the parent and husband they deserved. 

Eyes had kept blinking shut back and forth until I heard her voice; the tenderness; the care when her face came into view. My wife; she was okay. A Gentle smile came to tug at the corners of my lips. I wore a brave face, I didn’t want to worry her or our kids. I wanted to feel okay. Upon her sitting at the edge of my bed; I felt Kate loosen her grip on my palm before I felt her hand leave mine. She had taken the time to reach for her mom; placing a hand over hers. A sight I loved to see; seeing as the pair never liked to see eye to eye. 

A sheepish grin displayed upon my lips; I let my hand find hers; fingers easily laced through her own. How am I? Honestly I was wore; O felt like my chest was on fire. I felt like each time I removed this oxygen Mask from my face; It only lasted a few minutes before I struggled to breathe again. I felt the tighten in my chest when I breathed in too deep. But I stared at my son, my daughter and my wife and I couldn’t say the words. I was barely holding on with the fear of worrying the people I cared for. “ I’m fine.” Fine perhaps the more I said the words it be true. Rebecca knew me; I knew she doubted me which is why she asked Kate and Randell to go phone Miguel; I had hummed an okay; As I whispered “ I love you” To the kids; giving an attempt at a sten expression to indicate I wanted the kids to listen to Miguel. He was family. 

Brief minutes when the sound of smaller feet disappeared from earshot, hand fully wrapped around her own, as I tried to be more reassuring. “ My Lungs took in way more smoke than the doctors had anticipated. That’s why they want me to stay overnight. But I’ll be fine Beccs.” Pausing swallowing the slight lump in his chest; he had brought their linked hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “ I didn’t come all this way back to you only to leave again, I’ll be fine I promise.” A promise I held my breath on keeping.

[testytendencies]

@ofhonorastute

{I practically paced a worried hole in the waiting room floor as I waited for news from Jack's doctor about the progress and outcome of his surgery. At one point one of the surgeons came out to inform me that the damage was a bit more worrisome than they first anticipated, so it was a good thing Jack opted to go for the surgery instead of waiting it out. The surgeon further assuring me that they were optimistic about Jack's surgery though. Although I appreciated the optimism, that didn't make me worry less. Hours passing before the surgeon returned with a smile and informed me that Jack was out of surgery, and that it was deemed a success. They further explained that they expected Jack to make a full recovery, which came as a huge relief to me} Can I see him? Please? {I asked to which they replied that he would be in recovery for a bit longer, but that I was welcome to wait in his hospital room for him to be brought in after recovery. I thanked them before placing the call to Miguel to update him on the surgery details. After ending the phone call, I made my way into Jack's hospital room and waited patiently, yet anxiously for him to be brought in. Honestly, it felt like an eternity before he finally was, but ultimately I stood to my feet when they wheeled him into the room} "He'll be out for awhile longer, and then when he wakes up, he'll probably be groggy." {The medical team explained as they hooked Jack up to the necessary monitors and IV's before I took a seat in the hospital room chair immediately beside his bed... My hand lowering onto his and holding it in comfort as he continued to sleep. Another few hours passing before he finally started to stir. My eyes immediately pooling in tears of relief when he opened his eyes and I heard his voice} Jack... {I aired out in a exhaled sense of relief as I leaned closer to press a tender kiss to the top of his head before I returned to a seated position in the hospital room chair} I'm so glad you're awake... {I said in added relief before asking a question that I already knew the answer to, but it felt like instinct and that of a loving wife to still ask} How are you feeling? The doctor said surgery went really well, and they expect you'll make a full recovery. {I explained as I gave his hand a gentle squeeze. Knowing he was probably still groggy, so at the very least, I wanted him to have comfort to know I was here with him now, and I had no plans of going anywhere}

Continued

@testytendencies 

Burns; you see it displayed in movies; on television. But you never anticipate being the one on the other side. Jack felt worn down; he felt like his body was on fire. From the mask that was attached to his face to help his breathing; from the lack of oxygen coursing through his body. The smoke inhalation had caused his lungs damage; he felt it. He knew there was a reason why the doctors told me to stay put; to relax despite all the fire his skin felt like. He knew the wires were to help his lungs; he decided against sharing that information with Kate when he woke up. She was already attached to my side; she was holding my hand as if her life depended on it. I understood she was my daughter; and she definitely had more of an attachment to me, I could see the fear she felt when I had climbed down from the house; when I heard the swallowing breathing the coughs that had emitted from my lips. It wasn’t easy to watch someone you love risk their lives; to wonder if they’d come out on the other side. 

Weakness; the way his eyes had to adjust to the light; the way my chest slowly raised and fell; but Kate was only a teenager she wouldn’t of known the signs. Nor do I think I’d be stuck to a hospital bed if the doctors felt I was stable. I was the one that took in the most smoke; I knew the risks with my lungs but at the moment I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was saving my family; the family I walked from. The people I wanted to prove I was okay; that I was capable of being the parent and husband they deserved. 

Eyes had kept blinking shut back and forth until I heard her voice; the tenderness; the care when her face came into view. My wife; she was okay. A Gentle smile came to tug at the corners of my lips. I wore a brave face, I didn’t want to worry her or our kids. I wanted to feel okay. Upon her sitting at the edge of my bed; I felt Kate loosen her grip on my palm before I felt her hand leave mine. She had taken the time to reach for her mom; placing a hand over hers. A sight I loved to see; seeing as the pair never liked to see eye to eye. 

A sheepish grin displayed upon my lips; I let my hand find hers; fingers easily laced through her own. How am I? Honestly I was wore; O felt like my chest was on fire. I felt like each time I removed this oxygen Mask from my face; It only lasted a few minutes before I struggled to breathe again. I felt the tighten in my chest when I breathed in too deep. But I stared at my son, my daughter and my wife and I couldn’t say the words. I was barely holding on with the fear of worrying the people I cared for. “ I’m fine.” Fine perhaps the more I said the words it be true. Rebecca knew me; I knew she doubted me which is why she asked Kate and Randell to go phone Miguel; I had hummed an okay; As I whispered “ I love you” To the kids; giving an attempt at a sten expression to indicate I wanted the kids to listen to Miguel. He was family. 

Brief minutes when the sound of smaller feet disappeared from earshot, hand fully wrapped around her own, as I tried to be more reassuring. “ My Lungs took in way more smoke than the doctors had anticipated. That’s why they want me to stay overnight. But I’ll be fine Beccs.” Pausing swallowing the slight lump in his chest; he had brought their linked hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “ I didn’t come all this way back to you only to leave again, I’ll be fine I promise.” A promise I held my breath on keeping.

[testytendencies]

@ofhonorastute

I know you will, because I love you, and this rekindled love story of ours is just getting started. Trust me, you won't want to miss it. {A bright smile resting across my lips as I tossed a twist of his own words back at him. Hoping it would convey to him how much he has, and will always mean to me. Leaning down to press a tender kiss to his lips before the hospital transport staff urged me to step back, so they could wheel Jack into the designated OR. Once he was out of the room, I followed the rolling gurney as far as the hospital staff would allow me to do so. Exhaling a soft sigh as we reached my stopping point and I called after Jack} I love you. I'll be here when you wake up. {I added assuringly. Before I could say anymore, they wheeled him toward the double doors and the doors closed and latched behind him. Even though I was trying to be brave now, I could feel the tears of worry starting to pool in my eyes. Taking a few necessary breaths, I made my way to the pay phone so I could touch base with Miguel; knowing he'd want to know the latest on Jack, but I also wanted to check on the kids too. After a brief phone call, I hung up the receiver, and then I took a seat in one of the chairs in the waiting room area. I know the surgeon told me the surgery would last for a few hours, so I figured I would get comfortable and waited with a magazine while I waited for updates on how Jack's surgery was going... Knowing the nurse said she would come out and give me updates as often as she is able to. I silently reminded myself as I browsed aimlessly through the magazine in my hand. Obviously I wasn't paying any attention to what was on the pages, but I had to try to do something to distract my mind from my building worries about Jack}

Continued

@testytendencies 

Burns; you see it displayed in movies; on television. But you never anticipate being the one on the other side. Jack felt worn down; he felt like his body was on fire. From the mask that was attached to his face to help his breathing; from the lack of oxygen coursing through his body. The smoke inhalation had caused his lungs damage; he felt it. He knew there was a reason why the doctors told me to stay put; to relax despite all the fire his skin felt like. He knew the wires were to help his lungs; he decided against sharing that information with Kate when he woke up. She was already attached to my side; she was holding my hand as if her life depended on it. I understood she was my daughter; and she definitely had more of an attachment to me, I could see the fear she felt when I had climbed down from the house; when I heard the swallowing breathing the coughs that had emitted from my lips. It wasn’t easy to watch someone you love risk their lives; to wonder if they’d come out on the other side. 

Weakness; the way his eyes had to adjust to the light; the way my chest slowly raised and fell; but Kate was only a teenager she wouldn’t of known the signs. Nor do I think I’d be stuck to a hospital bed if the doctors felt I was stable. I was the one that took in the most smoke; I knew the risks with my lungs but at the moment I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was saving my family; the family I walked from. The people I wanted to prove I was okay; that I was capable of being the parent and husband they deserved. 

Eyes had kept blinking shut back and forth until I heard her voice; the tenderness; the care when her face came into view. My wife; she was okay. A Gentle smile came to tug at the corners of my lips. I wore a brave face, I didn’t want to worry her or our kids. I wanted to feel okay. Upon her sitting at the edge of my bed; I felt Kate loosen her grip on my palm before I felt her hand leave mine. She had taken the time to reach for her mom; placing a hand over hers. A sight I loved to see; seeing as the pair never liked to see eye to eye. 

A sheepish grin displayed upon my lips; I let my hand find hers; fingers easily laced through her own. How am I? Honestly I was wore; O felt like my chest was on fire. I felt like each time I removed this oxygen Mask from my face; It only lasted a few minutes before I struggled to breathe again. I felt the tighten in my chest when I breathed in too deep. But I stared at my son, my daughter and my wife and I couldn’t say the words. I was barely holding on with the fear of worrying the people I cared for. “ I’m fine.” Fine perhaps the more I said the words it be true. Rebecca knew me; I knew she doubted me which is why she asked Kate and Randell to go phone Miguel; I had hummed an okay; As I whispered “ I love you” To the kids; giving an attempt at a sten expression to indicate I wanted the kids to listen to Miguel. He was family. 

Brief minutes when the sound of smaller feet disappeared from earshot, hand fully wrapped around her own, as I tried to be more reassuring. “ My Lungs took in way more smoke than the doctors had anticipated. That’s why they want me to stay overnight. But I’ll be fine Beccs.” Pausing swallowing the slight lump in his chest; he had brought their linked hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “ I didn’t come all this way back to you only to leave again, I’ll be fine I promise.” A promise I held my breath on keeping.

[testytendencies]

@ofhonorastute

{I just needed a minutes to pull myself together. I knew Jack was worried. In spite of his brave face he was wearing now, which was mirrored with his words of confidence, I knew he was worried about this emergency surgery. All that to say, I needed to be strong for him now. If I didn't pull myself together, Jack would know how worried I was for him, and that's the last thing he needed right now. At this point I watched Jack's nurse enter his hospital room in order to begin prepping him for surgery. Taking that opportunity for me to spend a couple of extra minutes outside in the hallway while I tried to pull myself together. After a few minutes I managed to get my worried face under control; wiping away any lingering tears that had since pooled in my eyes before exhaling lightly. Ultimately lifting myself forward from the hallway wall before I started toward the entrance of Jack's hospital room. Greeting him with a soft, loving smile as I made my way over to his hospital bed; gently taking his hand into my own before trailing my fingers through his} Will someone be coming out to give me updates while Jack is in surgery? {I asked the nurse as I gently traced my finger back and forth across the top of Jack's hand while I held it} "Yes, someone will come out as often as possible to give you updates. You'll also be notified by the surgeon once the surgery is complete." {The nurse said with a soft, understanding smile and I nodded in reply} Thank you. I appreciate that. {Jack was everything to me... He was my whole world, so at this point in time, I just wanted and needed to know he was going to be keeping his promise to come back to me}

Continued

@testytendencies 

Burns; you see it displayed in movies; on television. But you never anticipate being the one on the other side. Jack felt worn down; he felt like his body was on fire. From the mask that was attached to his face to help his breathing; from the lack of oxygen coursing through his body. The smoke inhalation had caused his lungs damage; he felt it. He knew there was a reason why the doctors told me to stay put; to relax despite all the fire his skin felt like. He knew the wires were to help his lungs; he decided against sharing that information with Kate when he woke up. She was already attached to my side; she was holding my hand as if her life depended on it. I understood she was my daughter; and she definitely had more of an attachment to me, I could see the fear she felt when I had climbed down from the house; when I heard the swallowing breathing the coughs that had emitted from my lips. It wasn’t easy to watch someone you love risk their lives; to wonder if they’d come out on the other side. 

Weakness; the way his eyes had to adjust to the light; the way my chest slowly raised and fell; but Kate was only a teenager she wouldn’t of known the signs. Nor do I think I’d be stuck to a hospital bed if the doctors felt I was stable. I was the one that took in the most smoke; I knew the risks with my lungs but at the moment I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was saving my family; the family I walked from. The people I wanted to prove I was okay; that I was capable of being the parent and husband they deserved. 

Eyes had kept blinking shut back and forth until I heard her voice; the tenderness; the care when her face came into view. My wife; she was okay. A Gentle smile came to tug at the corners of my lips. I wore a brave face, I didn’t want to worry her or our kids. I wanted to feel okay. Upon her sitting at the edge of my bed; I felt Kate loosen her grip on my palm before I felt her hand leave mine. She had taken the time to reach for her mom; placing a hand over hers. A sight I loved to see; seeing as the pair never liked to see eye to eye. 

A sheepish grin displayed upon my lips; I let my hand find hers; fingers easily laced through her own. How am I? Honestly I was wore; O felt like my chest was on fire. I felt like each time I removed this oxygen Mask from my face; It only lasted a few minutes before I struggled to breathe again. I felt the tighten in my chest when I breathed in too deep. But I stared at my son, my daughter and my wife and I couldn’t say the words. I was barely holding on with the fear of worrying the people I cared for. “ I’m fine.” Fine perhaps the more I said the words it be true. Rebecca knew me; I knew she doubted me which is why she asked Kate and Randell to go phone Miguel; I had hummed an okay; As I whispered “ I love you” To the kids; giving an attempt at a sten expression to indicate I wanted the kids to listen to Miguel. He was family. 

Brief minutes when the sound of smaller feet disappeared from earshot, hand fully wrapped around her own, as I tried to be more reassuring. “ My Lungs took in way more smoke than the doctors had anticipated. That’s why they want me to stay overnight. But I’ll be fine Beccs.” Pausing swallowing the slight lump in his chest; he had brought their linked hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “ I didn’t come all this way back to you only to leave again, I’ll be fine I promise.” A promise I held my breath on keeping.

[testytendencies]

@ofhonorastute

{I was trying to be strong for Jack right now, but inwardly, I was falling apart. It had been a stressful and terrifying few hours, to say the least. I nearly lost my husband, my kids, and my own life. Our home was in an unknown state at this point in time, and now Jack was about to go into surgery in hopes of the surgeon being able to repair the damage done to his lungs, as a result of that fire. I was scared, to say the least... Scared of his outcome and chances at a long and happy life. I was afraid of the unknown, but I knew I needed to remain strong for him. That was just our way. We were always strong for each other, even if we were falling apart on the inside} Good because I want a long and happy life with you, Jack. {I said with a brave smile as I leaned down to press a tender kiss to your lips. I ultimately pulled back with a smile} You'll get more of those when you're out of surgery, safe and sound, and on the road to a full recovery. {I promised him before heading toward the hospital room door, so I could leave to find the doctor} Okay, I'll get the doctor and be right back. {I assured him before leaving the room. No sooner outside of the room when I felt tears pooling in my eyes. I was trying to be strong... To be brave, but it was all wavering at the moment. Fear of the unknown was fighting me hard now. I thought to myself briefly but found myself pulled away from my thoughts when the doctor approached} "Rebekah?" {The doctor asked in concern but I swallowed lowly and forced another brave smile to my lips} Jack has decided to have the surgery. {I informed the doctor to which he nodded in response} "It's for the best. This gives him the best chance." {The doctor said as he placed a supportive hand on my shoulder then retracted his hand seconds later} "I'll arrange for the surgery. The nurse will be in shortly to prep him and have you sign off on his paperwork." {The doctor assured me before leaving my side to take care of the necessary preparations. I fully intended to return to Jack, but for now, I needed a moment to get myself under control and to push back my budding emotions and fears before I would return to Jack's hospital bedside}

Continued

@testytendencies 

Burns; you see it displayed in movies; on television. But you never anticipate being the one on the other side. Jack felt worn down; he felt like his body was on fire. From the mask that was attached to his face to help his breathing; from the lack of oxygen coursing through his body. The smoke inhalation had caused his lungs damage; he felt it. He knew there was a reason why the doctors told me to stay put; to relax despite all the fire his skin felt like. He knew the wires were to help his lungs; he decided against sharing that information with Kate when he woke up. She was already attached to my side; she was holding my hand as if her life depended on it. I understood she was my daughter; and she definitely had more of an attachment to me, I could see the fear she felt when I had climbed down from the house; when I heard the swallowing breathing the coughs that had emitted from my lips. It wasn’t easy to watch someone you love risk their lives; to wonder if they’d come out on the other side. 

Weakness; the way his eyes had to adjust to the light; the way my chest slowly raised and fell; but Kate was only a teenager she wouldn’t of known the signs. Nor do I think I’d be stuck to a hospital bed if the doctors felt I was stable. I was the one that took in the most smoke; I knew the risks with my lungs but at the moment I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was saving my family; the family I walked from. The people I wanted to prove I was okay; that I was capable of being the parent and husband they deserved. 

Eyes had kept blinking shut back and forth until I heard her voice; the tenderness; the care when her face came into view. My wife; she was okay. A Gentle smile came to tug at the corners of my lips. I wore a brave face, I didn’t want to worry her or our kids. I wanted to feel okay. Upon her sitting at the edge of my bed; I felt Kate loosen her grip on my palm before I felt her hand leave mine. She had taken the time to reach for her mom; placing a hand over hers. A sight I loved to see; seeing as the pair never liked to see eye to eye. 

A sheepish grin displayed upon my lips; I let my hand find hers; fingers easily laced through her own. How am I? Honestly I was wore; O felt like my chest was on fire. I felt like each time I removed this oxygen Mask from my face; It only lasted a few minutes before I struggled to breathe again. I felt the tighten in my chest when I breathed in too deep. But I stared at my son, my daughter and my wife and I couldn’t say the words. I was barely holding on with the fear of worrying the people I cared for. “ I’m fine.” Fine perhaps the more I said the words it be true. Rebecca knew me; I knew she doubted me which is why she asked Kate and Randell to go phone Miguel; I had hummed an okay; As I whispered “ I love you” To the kids; giving an attempt at a sten expression to indicate I wanted the kids to listen to Miguel. He was family. 

Brief minutes when the sound of smaller feet disappeared from earshot, hand fully wrapped around her own, as I tried to be more reassuring. “ My Lungs took in way more smoke than the doctors had anticipated. That’s why they want me to stay overnight. But I’ll be fine Beccs.” Pausing swallowing the slight lump in his chest; he had brought their linked hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “ I didn’t come all this way back to you only to leave again, I’ll be fine I promise.” A promise I held my breath on keeping.

[testytendencies]

@ofhonorastute

{I gave a nod of understanding and supportive response when Jack confessed that he wanted to do the surgery. That it seemed like the best option... In a sense, I did agree with him. Of the two options, the surgery seemed like it would have the best long term outcome for him. At the same time though, I didn't like either option, because they both ran the risk of me losing Jack. A thought I couldn't even consider} I agree... I mean, I don't like either option, because the risk of something happening to you in surgery doesn't set well with me. Still, of the two, the surgery gives you the best chance at a full recovery and long-term outcome, so I agree it's the way to go. {I started to say as a light breath expelled from me. Clearly worried about Jack now, which I'm sure was written all over my face} I love you, Jack... I can't lose you, so when you get into that OR, I need you to promise me that you're going to fight like hell to come back to me because losing you is not an option. {I started to say as I leaned in to press a tender yet chaste kiss to his lips before slowly retracting since I didn't want to run the risk of causing him pain or discomfort in his lungs and chest. I flashed you a soft, brave smile before adding} I need you... And the kids need you too, so don't get any ideas about leaving me anytime soon. {I aired out gently as the soft smile lingered on my lips. I could feel a lump forming in my throat at increasing worry about Jack's well being, but I remained silent on my fears; knowing surgery was the right way to go at this point in time. I just knew I wouldn't rest or be at ease until he made it out of all of this and was on the road to a full recovery} Do you want me to get the doctor to tell him we made a decision, or do you want to wait until he returns to the hospital room?

Continued

@testytendencies 

Burns; you see it displayed in movies; on television. But you never anticipate being the one on the other side. Jack felt worn down; he felt like his body was on fire. From the mask that was attached to his face to help his breathing; from the lack of oxygen coursing through his body. The smoke inhalation had caused his lungs damage; he felt it. He knew there was a reason why the doctors told me to stay put; to relax despite all the fire his skin felt like. He knew the wires were to help his lungs; he decided against sharing that information with Kate when he woke up. She was already attached to my side; she was holding my hand as if her life depended on it. I understood she was my daughter; and she definitely had more of an attachment to me, I could see the fear she felt when I had climbed down from the house; when I heard the swallowing breathing the coughs that had emitted from my lips. It wasn’t easy to watch someone you love risk their lives; to wonder if they’d come out on the other side. 

Weakness; the way his eyes had to adjust to the light; the way my chest slowly raised and fell; but Kate was only a teenager she wouldn’t of known the signs. Nor do I think I’d be stuck to a hospital bed if the doctors felt I was stable. I was the one that took in the most smoke; I knew the risks with my lungs but at the moment I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was saving my family; the family I walked from. The people I wanted to prove I was okay; that I was capable of being the parent and husband they deserved. 

Eyes had kept blinking shut back and forth until I heard her voice; the tenderness; the care when her face came into view. My wife; she was okay. A Gentle smile came to tug at the corners of my lips. I wore a brave face, I didn’t want to worry her or our kids. I wanted to feel okay. Upon her sitting at the edge of my bed; I felt Kate loosen her grip on my palm before I felt her hand leave mine. She had taken the time to reach for her mom; placing a hand over hers. A sight I loved to see; seeing as the pair never liked to see eye to eye. 

A sheepish grin displayed upon my lips; I let my hand find hers; fingers easily laced through her own. How am I? Honestly I was wore; O felt like my chest was on fire. I felt like each time I removed this oxygen Mask from my face; It only lasted a few minutes before I struggled to breathe again. I felt the tighten in my chest when I breathed in too deep. But I stared at my son, my daughter and my wife and I couldn’t say the words. I was barely holding on with the fear of worrying the people I cared for. “ I’m fine.” Fine perhaps the more I said the words it be true. Rebecca knew me; I knew she doubted me which is why she asked Kate and Randell to go phone Miguel; I had hummed an okay; As I whispered “ I love you” To the kids; giving an attempt at a sten expression to indicate I wanted the kids to listen to Miguel. He was family. 

Brief minutes when the sound of smaller feet disappeared from earshot, hand fully wrapped around her own, as I tried to be more reassuring. “ My Lungs took in way more smoke than the doctors had anticipated. That’s why they want me to stay overnight. But I’ll be fine Beccs.” Pausing swallowing the slight lump in his chest; he had brought their linked hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “ I didn’t come all this way back to you only to leave again, I’ll be fine I promise.” A promise I held my breath on keeping.

[testytendencies]

@ofhonorastute

{As I listened to the doctor speak, my initial reaction was to proceed with the surgery. This was the quickest and guaranteed way for Jack to have this clot removed, which would put him toward a full recovery. Whereas, opting out of surgery and waiting for the clot to possibly pass on its own felt riskier to me. Until it passed, providing it did actually pass on its own, put Jack at risk. Not to mention this pain he's clearly in now would continue until that clot was gone. With that though, if it didn't pass on its own, and the clot got bigger, Jack could run the risk of not being able to breath on his own, or worse. As I weighed all of these possible side affects in my mind, I thought the answer was obvious in that we go with the surgery. In hearing the doctor share the risk of surgery though, I was now torn. Yes, surgery seemed like the answer because it gave Jack the highest chance for a speedier recovery, but what if there was a complication during the surgery and he ended up bleeding out? I could lose Jack, which was a thought that didn't set well with me. I aired out a soft sigh as I held Jack's hand in my own as the doctor left us alone to talk this over with each other. I knew what was going to come next... Jack was going to request that I tell him what to do. How could I do that though? Either scenario runs the risk of Jack dying, so how could I make a decision like this} I don't know, Jack... Surgery is the only guaranteed way of clear this clot up, which seems like the most logical option, but not at the risk of you dying on the table. At the same time though, resting and letting the clot possibly pass on its own also doesn't sound like an appealing option. I mean, if you rest and wait, there's nothing guaranteeing it will pass on its own, which will put you in more pain, and also run the risk of further health concerns for you, too. {I gave his hand a gentle squeeze in my own before adding} Still, if surgery will clear this clot up and put you on a guaranteed road to recovery, then it seems like the better option of the two... I don't know though. I don't know what the right answer is now. {I quietly thought aloud before directing the question over to you} What are you thinking? What's your gut telling you about this situation, Jack? Which way are you leaning?

Continued

@testytendencies 

Burns; you see it displayed in movies; on television. But you never anticipate being the one on the other side. Jack felt worn down; he felt like his body was on fire. From the mask that was attached to his face to help his breathing; from the lack of oxygen coursing through his body. The smoke inhalation had caused his lungs damage; he felt it. He knew there was a reason why the doctors told me to stay put; to relax despite all the fire his skin felt like. He knew the wires were to help his lungs; he decided against sharing that information with Kate when he woke up. She was already attached to my side; she was holding my hand as if her life depended on it. I understood she was my daughter; and she definitely had more of an attachment to me, I could see the fear she felt when I had climbed down from the house; when I heard the swallowing breathing the coughs that had emitted from my lips. It wasn’t easy to watch someone you love risk their lives; to wonder if they’d come out on the other side. 

Weakness; the way his eyes had to adjust to the light; the way my chest slowly raised and fell; but Kate was only a teenager she wouldn’t of known the signs. Nor do I think I’d be stuck to a hospital bed if the doctors felt I was stable. I was the one that took in the most smoke; I knew the risks with my lungs but at the moment I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was saving my family; the family I walked from. The people I wanted to prove I was okay; that I was capable of being the parent and husband they deserved. 

Eyes had kept blinking shut back and forth until I heard her voice; the tenderness; the care when her face came into view. My wife; she was okay. A Gentle smile came to tug at the corners of my lips. I wore a brave face, I didn’t want to worry her or our kids. I wanted to feel okay. Upon her sitting at the edge of my bed; I felt Kate loosen her grip on my palm before I felt her hand leave mine. She had taken the time to reach for her mom; placing a hand over hers. A sight I loved to see; seeing as the pair never liked to see eye to eye. 

A sheepish grin displayed upon my lips; I let my hand find hers; fingers easily laced through her own. How am I? Honestly I was wore; O felt like my chest was on fire. I felt like each time I removed this oxygen Mask from my face; It only lasted a few minutes before I struggled to breathe again. I felt the tighten in my chest when I breathed in too deep. But I stared at my son, my daughter and my wife and I couldn’t say the words. I was barely holding on with the fear of worrying the people I cared for. “ I’m fine.” Fine perhaps the more I said the words it be true. Rebecca knew me; I knew she doubted me which is why she asked Kate and Randell to go phone Miguel; I had hummed an okay; As I whispered “ I love you” To the kids; giving an attempt at a sten expression to indicate I wanted the kids to listen to Miguel. He was family. 

Brief minutes when the sound of smaller feet disappeared from earshot, hand fully wrapped around her own, as I tried to be more reassuring. “ My Lungs took in way more smoke than the doctors had anticipated. That’s why they want me to stay overnight. But I’ll be fine Beccs.” Pausing swallowing the slight lump in his chest; he had brought their linked hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “ I didn’t come all this way back to you only to leave again, I’ll be fine I promise.” A promise I held my breath on keeping.

[testytendencies]

@ofhonorastute

{It felt like hours had passed as I sat in the waiting room for an update from Jack's nurse on his tests. Eventually I was approached by his doctor which prompted me to shoot up onto my feet} Is he okay? What did the tests reveal? {I could see the doctor was leery about sharing this information from me. More secrets. I thought with an exhaled sigh as the doctor instead suggested we go to Jack's room so we could discuss it together. I did as the doctor suggested and returned to Jack's hospital room with the doctor immediately following me into the room. Once I reached Jack's room, I made my way over to his hospital bed; gently taking his hand in my own} Are you okay? {I asked in obvious concern as I leaned my head down so I could press a tender kiss to his forehead. I resumed my upright position and then lowered myself into a seat on the edge of Jack's hospital bed while I waited for someone to fill me in on the test results. The more time that passed though was only making me worry that much more. I mean, obviously it's not good news, because if it was, the doctor would have already said as such when he greeted me in the waiting room. After what felt like an eternity, the doctor filled me in on the test results and then explained that Jack had a decision to make. Naturally my first thought was surgery... I didn't want to flip a coin that these clots could pass on their own, and run the risk of Jack getting worse. No, I wouldn't it taken care of sooner rather than later, so Jack would be on the road to a full recovery. Even so, the doctor stated that he would give us some time to discuss Jack's options before he left the room. At that, I shifted on the bed slightly so that I was better facing Jack} What are you leaning toward? Surgery or letting it possibly pass naturally? {I knew where my thoughts were on this decision, but I wanted to know where Jack's head was now}

Continued

@testytendencies 

Burns; you see it displayed in movies; on television. But you never anticipate being the one on the other side. Jack felt worn down; he felt like his body was on fire. From the mask that was attached to his face to help his breathing; from the lack of oxygen coursing through his body. The smoke inhalation had caused his lungs damage; he felt it. He knew there was a reason why the doctors told me to stay put; to relax despite all the fire his skin felt like. He knew the wires were to help his lungs; he decided against sharing that information with Kate when he woke up. She was already attached to my side; she was holding my hand as if her life depended on it. I understood she was my daughter; and she definitely had more of an attachment to me, I could see the fear she felt when I had climbed down from the house; when I heard the swallowing breathing the coughs that had emitted from my lips. It wasn’t easy to watch someone you love risk their lives; to wonder if they’d come out on the other side. 

Weakness; the way his eyes had to adjust to the light; the way my chest slowly raised and fell; but Kate was only a teenager she wouldn’t of known the signs. Nor do I think I’d be stuck to a hospital bed if the doctors felt I was stable. I was the one that took in the most smoke; I knew the risks with my lungs but at the moment I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was saving my family; the family I walked from. The people I wanted to prove I was okay; that I was capable of being the parent and husband they deserved. 

Eyes had kept blinking shut back and forth until I heard her voice; the tenderness; the care when her face came into view. My wife; she was okay. A Gentle smile came to tug at the corners of my lips. I wore a brave face, I didn’t want to worry her or our kids. I wanted to feel okay. Upon her sitting at the edge of my bed; I felt Kate loosen her grip on my palm before I felt her hand leave mine. She had taken the time to reach for her mom; placing a hand over hers. A sight I loved to see; seeing as the pair never liked to see eye to eye. 

A sheepish grin displayed upon my lips; I let my hand find hers; fingers easily laced through her own. How am I? Honestly I was wore; O felt like my chest was on fire. I felt like each time I removed this oxygen Mask from my face; It only lasted a few minutes before I struggled to breathe again. I felt the tighten in my chest when I breathed in too deep. But I stared at my son, my daughter and my wife and I couldn’t say the words. I was barely holding on with the fear of worrying the people I cared for. “ I’m fine.” Fine perhaps the more I said the words it be true. Rebecca knew me; I knew she doubted me which is why she asked Kate and Randell to go phone Miguel; I had hummed an okay; As I whispered “ I love you” To the kids; giving an attempt at a sten expression to indicate I wanted the kids to listen to Miguel. He was family. 

Brief minutes when the sound of smaller feet disappeared from earshot, hand fully wrapped around her own, as I tried to be more reassuring. “ My Lungs took in way more smoke than the doctors had anticipated. That’s why they want me to stay overnight. But I’ll be fine Beccs.” Pausing swallowing the slight lump in his chest; he had brought their linked hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “ I didn’t come all this way back to you only to leave again, I’ll be fine I promise.” A promise I held my breath on keeping.

[testytendencies]

@ofhonorastute

{I knew Jack wasn't being honest with me about his pain and discomfort. Sure, he could use the predictable "I'm fine" phrase all he wants, but I have known him long enough that I could practically read him like a book. Still, for the sake of his pride, as well as me attempting to respect his privacy and desire for space, I decided to give him this one for now. Grant it, had we not been separated from each other up until this point in time, I never would have left this hospital room when the doctor entered without one hell of a fight first. Considering Jack and I had been apart all of this time while he was living elsewhere and in need of space from me, I knew portions of our relationship were still up in the air at the moment. Yes, I loved Jack, and I was confident he loved me too, so him and I would find a way to get past all of this. We had a lot to work out before that point in time though. I thought to myself as I pressed a kiss to the top of his head before preparing to leave his hospital room long enough to call and check in on the kids} I love you too. I won't be long. {I promised him before reluctantly leaving the hospital room. Trying to give him the space that he had requested when he moved out of the house weeks ago. Expelling a soft sigh as I exited the hospital room and then made my way toward the pay phone in the waiting room in order to place my phone call. I didn't have any money on me, given that my purse and all of my belongings were left behind in my burned down house, so I opted to make a collect call to Miguel instead. It didn't take me long before I got through to him; giving him an update on Jack's health first before listening as he filled me in on the status of our kids. A few minutes passing before a nurse approached; signaling that she needed to speak to me} Miguel, the nurse is here to speak with me, so I'll call again a little later with another update. {I shared before ending the phone call and immediately turning my attention to the nurse. Obvious concern written on my face since I knew in my heart it had to do with Jack} Is he okay? {I asked in lingering worry as she informed me that the doctor sent him down for more tests, but that he would return to the hospital room shortly. I gave an understanding nod and thanked her before a sigh left my lips. Clearly there was a problem, but instead of Jack telling me himself that something felt off with him, he waited until I left the hospital room so he could confide in the doctor. I had to wonder if the secrets and withholding of important information now meant he no longer trusted me, and with that, if our once unbreakable bond was cracked. I silently considered as I remained seated in the waiting room; all the while hoping Jack was okay}

Continued

@testytendencies 

Burns; you see it displayed in movies; on television. But you never anticipate being the one on the other side. Jack felt worn down; he felt like his body was on fire. From the mask that was attached to his face to help his breathing; from the lack of oxygen coursing through his body. The smoke inhalation had caused his lungs damage; he felt it. He knew there was a reason why the doctors told me to stay put; to relax despite all the fire his skin felt like. He knew the wires were to help his lungs; he decided against sharing that information with Kate when he woke up. She was already attached to my side; she was holding my hand as if her life depended on it. I understood she was my daughter; and she definitely had more of an attachment to me, I could see the fear she felt when I had climbed down from the house; when I heard the swallowing breathing the coughs that had emitted from my lips. It wasn’t easy to watch someone you love risk their lives; to wonder if they’d come out on the other side. 

Weakness; the way his eyes had to adjust to the light; the way my chest slowly raised and fell; but Kate was only a teenager she wouldn’t of known the signs. Nor do I think I’d be stuck to a hospital bed if the doctors felt I was stable. I was the one that took in the most smoke; I knew the risks with my lungs but at the moment I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was saving my family; the family I walked from. The people I wanted to prove I was okay; that I was capable of being the parent and husband they deserved. 

Eyes had kept blinking shut back and forth until I heard her voice; the tenderness; the care when her face came into view. My wife; she was okay. A Gentle smile came to tug at the corners of my lips. I wore a brave face, I didn’t want to worry her or our kids. I wanted to feel okay. Upon her sitting at the edge of my bed; I felt Kate loosen her grip on my palm before I felt her hand leave mine. She had taken the time to reach for her mom; placing a hand over hers. A sight I loved to see; seeing as the pair never liked to see eye to eye. 

A sheepish grin displayed upon my lips; I let my hand find hers; fingers easily laced through her own. How am I? Honestly I was wore; O felt like my chest was on fire. I felt like each time I removed this oxygen Mask from my face; It only lasted a few minutes before I struggled to breathe again. I felt the tighten in my chest when I breathed in too deep. But I stared at my son, my daughter and my wife and I couldn’t say the words. I was barely holding on with the fear of worrying the people I cared for. “ I’m fine.” Fine perhaps the more I said the words it be true. Rebecca knew me; I knew she doubted me which is why she asked Kate and Randell to go phone Miguel; I had hummed an okay; As I whispered “ I love you” To the kids; giving an attempt at a sten expression to indicate I wanted the kids to listen to Miguel. He was family. 

Brief minutes when the sound of smaller feet disappeared from earshot, hand fully wrapped around her own, as I tried to be more reassuring. “ My Lungs took in way more smoke than the doctors had anticipated. That’s why they want me to stay overnight. But I’ll be fine Beccs.” Pausing swallowing the slight lump in his chest; he had brought their linked hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “ I didn’t come all this way back to you only to leave again, I’ll be fine I promise.” A promise I held my breath on keeping.