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my future and sense of self? liminal spaces

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I’m fighting myself. I know I am. One minute I want to remember. The next minute I want to live in the land of forgetting. One minute I want to feel. The next minute I never want to feel ever again.

Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Last Night I Sang to the Monster (via wordsnquotes)

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You are born alone. You die alone. The value of the space in between is trust and love. That is why geometrically speaking the circle is a one. Everything comes to you from the other. You have to be able to reach the other.

Louise Bourgeois, from a diary entry featured in Destruction of the Father / Reconstruction of the Father: Writings and Interviews, 1923-1997 (via violentwavesofemotion)

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Loo Nascimento by Mar + Vin for Fashion Forward Brasil

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Recently

My life feels like an abandoned project that I'm stuck with, "no returns" because the shop has closed down, and the item was on sale anyway. I'm trying to shake it out & polish it up; I bought vegetables yesterday, I'm starting to plan essays, I've booked (another) careers appointment, I've sworn off romantic attachments for a long while. I feel mostly ok. I'm keeping busy

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Sophie Calle, I Died in a Good Mood, 2013

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Self-made Crazy™

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Recently

My life is a circle and I've closed the loop of the past year. The same person, and even the same bars as backdrops for the same emotional trough after the peak. I've been smoking alone too much today, and it's been raining. Here I am again. How do I begin again?

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I could not touch you. I wanted very much to Touch you But I could not

Robert Creeley

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Recently

I came back from Budapest a few days ago and the trip has been a definite liminal space between selves. I don't feel like the same person I did before & I don't know whether I'll get back to her or whether I want to! I've slipped into a new self who is hideously behind on reading, enrolled in therapy with an actual diagnosis, and reconnecting with someone from last year. The new self is more confident and I have so many rooms to explore

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…if there is nothing else to do one must scream. I long to scream. But where? But how? … I do wish all of you have a place to write would scream. In any way, in any words.

Martha Gellhorn, from Selected Letters of Martha Gellhorn (via luthienne)

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Vessels designed specifically for screaming

Babak Golkar, Time to Let Go, 2014