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Euripides (Tr. Anne Carson) / @wholeheartedsuggestions / Jenny Slate / Euripides again

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Like we have to always remember that a person with health anxiety can get ill, a person with paranoia and psychosis can be in serious danger, a person with social anxiety can get bullied, a person with RSD can get rejected, a person with BPD can get abandoned, a person with depression can have a serious reason to be upset and so on indefinitely. We cannot automatically treat every concern of a person who has been labeled as mentally ill and irrational as if it isn't worth taking seriously and investigating. Making that assumption puts people in real danger.

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Stephanie Foo, What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

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I just wanna be sure I fucking tried everything. There's so many reasons to live, so many things to enjoy. I wanna be able to say I did my best to stay and make it worthwhile for myself and those surrounding me. I want to feel like I at least didn't take more than I gave... so I still have a lot to do. Or achieve net zero, at the very least. I just want to make sure I leave earth without being a burden, a thief.

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sevdaliza !!

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„if they wanted to, they would“

yes, but you can‘t expect someone to know how you feel loved. everyone’s perception of love is different. you still have to communicate how you feel, what you care about, how you feel valued and seen. don‘t throw away something that could turn out great just because it doesn‘t fit right from the beginning.

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"maybe in another lifetime" No. This is literally all we get. You only get this life once. Don't leave any stones unturned if you felt the need to ever turn them.

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sounds silly but. one of the greatest things ever as someone with a trauma background is learning that things aren't inherently as bad or as scary as I thought. it IS possible to assemble Ikea furniture without arguments. is IS possible to discuss boundaries without having something thrown at me for speaking out of turn. it IS possible to spend hours on end sharing your favourite things with your favourite people, and not get called annoying for it. the world is an incredible place

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Anne Michaels, from her novel titled "Held," originally published in 2003

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I'm glad I got to talk to him. I'm glad I understand where he stands. Glad but still devastated though. From what I've gathered, I was rejected for being too much. He said my anxiety scares him. It adds up. It's painful, and I'm working on becoming more resilient but I'm doing it for me. I won't tell him I'm gonna get better bc, though I will, I have no idea how long that will take and I cannot deal with te idea of being perceived and a burden. I won't be anyone's burden. I told him, though I've still got lots to work on, this is the best I've been in so long. I'm making plans. Exposing myself socially. Trying and trying and trying. Consistently. He has no idea of how I've lived before. I'm so tired of feeling like nobody will love me as I am. I'm tired of how inconvenient I am to others. I want to feel like I am lovable as I am now. So all I can do is be genuine and filter people who can't handle my big emotions. All I can do is feel the pain, ride it out and keep exposing my true self to the world. There's someone out there for me. He's not that person and that's ok. He deserves peace too. And I deserve safety.

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I don't know him. I don't really know any of them. I feel so raw. He was the safest person there. That's all.

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In red: edited today, Nov 3, 2024.

just so i dont fucking forget, so i can recognize them when i meet them:

Non-negotiable

Understanding

Genuine

Kind, sweet

Values communication and emotions

Adept at managing emotions, holding space for theirs and mine

Willing to open up, be known* (moved this up)

Self-aware* (moved up)

Sex-positive

Good listener

Important

Empathic

Smart

Social

Lively, fun

Creative

Appreciative

Nonjudgmental

Literate in or willing to learn about neurodiversity, mental health

Is a loyal and caring friend

Loves cuddles* (moved up)

Honest (but kind)

Nice

Interested in society and culture

Values animals and the environment

Musical

Independent (not avoidant)

Passionate

Goal-oriented

Hard worker

Adaptable

Good listener

Values health

Practical

Mostly stable, emotionally

Not antisocial or an active addict

Enjoys anime, manga

Wants to experience the world, life

Educated

Adhd

Robust social life

Enjoys board games

No.

Manipulative

Deceptive

Cheater, cuts corners regularly

Cruel

Violent

Shouts

Gives empty “just-shut-up” apologies

racist, fascist, misogynist, queer-phobic, classist or hateful/violent towards any communities

wasteful

Doesn't know what they want/ unwilling to explore a potential relationship

Most comfortable maintaining unclear intentions

Doesn't want to date me

Edited Nov 3, 2024

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It’s important to not punish someone for doing what we asked them to do.

Playing games and telling people to “leave me alone” and then being upset when they do isn’t fair to that person. If someone is trying to respect boundaries and does what you ask, it isn’t fair to punish them.

People can’t read your mind and know when you say one thing that you mean another. And even if they can, they’re not obligated to play guessing games. It’s exhausting for them and for you.

When you play these games, usually no one wins.

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joyfulsmolthings