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Best Lesbian / Tomboy Bars in Thailand

Tom Boys are quite popular with both lesbians and straight women alike. As a matter of fact, the Thai lesbian scene in Thailand is only growing more and more each year. When a feminine lesbian with long hair starts a relationship with a tomboy, it is known as a Dee-Tom couple. The Tomboy takes on the masculine role in the relationships. She cuts her hair short and wears clothing that a boy would wear. They also take on the role in other ways such as paying for everything and taking the lead in the bedroom. Lesbians pick up girls like this all the time.

Most people think that only lesbian women are interested in Toms but they would be wrong. Both foreign and Thai men also like to get with Toms if they are willing to be with a man. In most forums, you will see expats and tourists begging to know where the best Toms bars are in Bangkok.

Below is the full list of the best Tom Bars for lesbians in Thailand and men who love girls that look like boys.

Talk 99 Tomboy – Pattaya Lesbian Heaven

This club is quite popular in Pattaya and gets busy after 11 o’clock in the evening. The nightspot has lots of cute toms and lesbians who are looking for a good time. Foreign men can come in but know how much luck you will get pulling anyone inside. Your best bet is to bring a Thai tomboy or a girl with you so others can feel comfortable around you.

It is pretty easy to get to because it is near Pattaya Tai 4. Tell any taxi or show them the map below and they will know how take you there. Closing time is around 3 am so you need to get there a few hours before so you don’t get rushed it. It comes highly recommended and you need to try it if you are a man who is into Toms.

BERN TomDiiz

Bangkok is one of the best cities in Thailand if you love Tom Boy nightclubs. Bangkok lesbians are all over this place. BERN TomDiiz has some of the most beautiful women in the city who love Thai tom girls. It can get pretty crazy and luckily for us, men are allowed in. Like with most of these type of clubs, it is best to come with a group of friends. If you are a man alone, you will not feel welcomed and are wasting your time.

Performers are top notch and were very entertaining when I was there. The crowd seemed to love them. If you want to give this lesbian club a try, it is right near Bangkok City Hall on Maha Chai Road.  Again, show any taxi a map and they will find it for you in a heartbeat.

Smooth2go Chiang Mai

On any list we make for the hottest night spots, at least a few clubs in Chiang Mai always make the cut. Opens pretty early around 6 pm and closes early also at 1 am which could be a buzzkill.  Even so, this tomboy club is the highest rated in town and for good reason. The age range is anywhere from 20 to 30 so it is not a club for older folk. Men can come in as long as they come in a group and respect the thai tom girls.

This club is on Rattanakosin road and can be a bit difficult to get to. Use the nap in this article and you will get there in due time. Get ready for a great time.

If you know any other spots where lesbians pick up girls and men are allowed in on the fun, please feel free to message me. I will always try to keep this updated as places become obsolete and newer spots take their place.

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Pattaya Girls – In depth look at the girls of Pattaya

With tens of thousands of prostitutes operating within city limits, it’s not hard to understand why Pattaya girls have the reputation they do. Not every girl in Pattaya is in the pay for play scene but it’s not the place you’d go to for meeting a good girl. There are thousands of women who have legitimate jobs in Pattaya, but the problem is that many of them freelance in prostitution as well. If you like the pay for play scene, Pattaya is clearly one of the best places in the world. On any night you can easily find a nice and cute girl and she won’t cost you very much.

Most of the girls in Pattaya are originally from Isaan and tend to have darker skin. Since prostitution is such a huge part of Pattaya’s identity, the working girls aren’t really embarrassed about what they do there. So while bar girls in other cities might dress a bit conservatively during the day or whenever they’re not at the bar, bg’s in Pattaya will dress slutty 24 X 7. They’ll also be affectionate in public, which is basically a no-no anywhere else.

It’s true that most girls come to Pattaya for the money, but it’s not true that they’re forced to do so. A very high percentage of these girls could easily find a job and get by just fine, but they just wouldn’t make anywhere near as much and it wouldn’t be as fun. And a lot of the girls come to Pattaya just as excited as they are anxious. There are very few girls in the city who hate what they do for a living, and if they did nothing is really stopping them from doing something else in a more boring part of the country. Many of them enjoy the lifestyle and it’s stilly to think otherwise. There are plenty of men who have married a bar girl they met in Pattaya thinking that they saved the girl, but we know better. There are also plenty of people who think they’re all victims, and that any man who sees a bg in Pattaya is a predator; that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Somewhere around half of the WG’s have at least one child, and usually their mother takes care of the children in Isan. They can go months and even a year without seeing their babies. Whether the Mother is taking care of a baby or not, most of the girls send their families a piece of their income every month. So if you were wondering why more parents don’t go crazy and put a stop to it when they find out their daughter is headed to Pattaya, now we know why, there is financial incentive for the family not to get on her case about it. There is a small percentage that does get thrown to the wolves out of necessity to make as much money as they can to pay family debts etc. But I’d be surprised if the group with heavy pressure to work as a BG in Pattaya is more than 5%.

Pattaya is also not exactly a hot spot for the financially savvy Thai women. To me it seems like working girls in other cities have more of a propensity to set financial goals and to save their money than the girls in Pattaya. I would that a girl with a legitimate job making 15,000 baht a month will save just as much money as the working girl who makes double or triple. There is sort of an ugly culture behind the scenes of the bars between the bar girls themselves. It’s a “look what I have” and “live for today” attitude between them. They enjoy telling their friends about the nights they’ve made the most money from a guy, and they’ll brag about how they have a “sponsor” paying their way every month. BG’s in Pattaya will lie to foreign men as easily as they breathe and they’re basically taught that there’s nothing wrong with doing this.

For the purposes of this article I will group dancers, bar girls, and full time freelancers into one category of working girls (WG’s). There are obviously many differences between these 3 and if you want more information on it you can check my write-up of the WG types HERE. But for this article regarding Pattaya I will go into other categories of Pattaya girls such as experience, attitude, and career paths. Here is a breakdown of Pattaya Girls.

Types of Pattaya Girls​

Rookie WG 

You can spot the rookies from a mile away and most of them don’t really speak much English. Girls can learn English in Isaan schools, but the schools don’t really press the issue so most only know the most basic words and phrases when they first arrive. If a girl from Isaan decides she wants to be a prostitute, be aware that they have other options, so I think it says something that they specifically choose Pattaya. They could easily work in places closer to home that cater to Thai men or they could work in Bangkok where there are so many other opportunities for them if they ever want to phase out the prostitution. But in choosing Pattaya, the girl is basically ruling out all options other than having sex with foreign men for money. That is what they come for and there’s nothing temporary about it and it’s obvious that no other legitimate opportunities would ever present themselves. Some may think they can meet a boyfriend, but only the very naïve think they’d meet a husband in a city where 90% of them men are there for a week at a time. A rookie isn’t really tainted when she first starts working, but if she’s made the decision to be a BG in Pattaya this was not a good girl to start with. Usually within her first month or so, if she’s decent looking, she’ll make a strong connection with a customer who she will basically fall in love with. Sometimes this leads to a real relationship, but usually it’s short-lived and it becomes a lesson to them about heart ache. They should know better, they should understand that if a man pays them for sex that he doesn’t have intentions of living happily ever after with her. But most of the rookies do experience a relationship early on where they think they’ve met the right man, and obviously most of them are back in the bar shortly after.

Veteran WG

Girls who have been working in the scene in Pattaya usually lie about the length of time they’ve worked by exactly half. So if a girl says she’s been working for 6 months, it’s probably closer to a year. But past 2 or 3 months it wouldn’t matter much, because by then the girls are 100% professional. They can get very into a routine even though they may see a different man every night. Most of them don’t take great care of themselves: they eat like crap, they drink every night, they wake up at 4PM, they put too much makeup on etc. So if someone tells you that Thai girls hit the wall at 29, while its 5-7 years later for girls of most other countries – that’s only true for WG’s. They get a nice little gut going by 27 most of the time and how could they not with the way they take care of themselves. A Thai girl who eats and sleeps regularly and doesn’t drink much will hold up just as well as girls from most other places. Back to the Veterans, these girls usually pick up some tricks of the trade when it comes to pleasing men. That is sexually and in terms of the girlfriend experience (gfe). If you do something for a long time you get good at it and it’s no different here; the veterans get really good at being enjoyable to be with. If they’re not a lot of fun they’d have no regular customers and no sponsors, which would make things more difficult. Some of them are very safe and use condoms every time they’re with a customer, but probably more than 50% aren’t as safe as they should be. They are jaded by the scene and it impacts their work ethic and their family values. The last thing you want to do in life is marry a veteran WG in Pattaya. But, they are a lot of fun to spend time with and not just because they’re good at their job. I’m not quite sure how or why, but most of the veterans are very nice and friendly and they can easily have a good time if you’re somewhat nice and fun. Again, as much as I paint the picture of a girl you want nothing to do with past a weekend, make no mistake about it, these girls are the BEST when it comes to just one night or one weekend. IF they weren’t, Pattaya wouldn’t exist in its current form. But these girls are a lot of fun, so most men turn out to be satisfied customers and even repeat customers. Most of the girls have had at least one serious relationship with a foreigner by the time they’ve been working for a while and most become very jealous and possessive in these relationships. Since they’re really only meeting men who want to pay on the spot for sex, this is really the only mainframe they see in foreign men. So naturally they assume that all men always act like the men who come to a bar or GoGo looking to pay for sex. A girl working in Bangkok might meet other types of men more regularly, but in Pattaya a girl is really only going to get one specific look at foreign men.

In and Out WG 

There are some girls who come to Pattaya for a season or even shorter just to make some quick cash in between semesters at school or more commonly when the farm they work on at home is between crops. These girls are more about business than they are about relationships. In some ways that’s good and I wouldn’t be shocked if a girl like this eventually turned into a decent wife. But in my experience these girls just aren’t as fun as the real Pattaya veterans for the night or for the weekend. The GFE just isn’t there.

Girl With Real Job Who Freelances

 I once knew a pretty girl with a very good job in Pattaya who probably made as much as a lot of the BG’s with her very legitimate day job. She was educated and came from a middle class family that seemed to be a big part of her life. She was also intelligent and classy. When I met her, she just got out of a 2 year relationship with an older European gentleman. She was in no rush to get into another relationship and instead she focused on her career. At the time I realized that this girl was going to require too much work and effort and I just wasn’t up for that. So we parted ways amicably and I didn’t see her again for about 6 months when I spotted her at a nightclub by herself. I was very surprised to see her there, so I didn’t let her see me until I could figure out what was going on. It didn’t take me very long to realize that she was freelancing. I talked to her and took her out of the club to a quieter place and I just asked her some questions. She still had the job and was making even more money than before + her ex moved back to Europe but was still sending her 30,000 baht a month to be his “lay-away girlfriend.” So all in all she was making more than almost any girl in Pattaya without being a prostitute, and yet there she was trying to pick up a customer just to make 2,000 baht. I asked her point blank, “Why?” She rambled on about how she’s lonely and she just doesn’t want to be alone, but essentially her answer was, “Why Not?” It’s just such an accepted part of life in Pattaya and it’s so easy for a pretty girl to meet a customer, even if she’s being picky. Imagine if you could go out to a bar near where you work, meet a fun girl, and she’d pay for all drinks and food and then she’d pay you well to have sex with her. If you could easily do this on any given night and you were single, would you ever consider doing this? So a lady shouldn’t have the same mentality, but in Pattaya girls don’t really act like ladies. There are many girls working legit jobs in Pattaya in malls, offices, hotels, shops, etc. Some of those girls cannot pass up the temptation, and dabble in prostitution from time to time. You just have to be aware of this.

Non-prostitute Looking For Foreign man

 I don’t think Pattaya is a good place for a Thai girl to meet a foreign husband, since the men are usually on vacation and purely looking for sex. To me it makes more sense that Bangkok would be the better place, but that doesn’t stop some women from heading to Pattaya in search of finding Mr. Right. And some of these girls refuse to work as a prostitute. So they’ll work a job in an office, shop, or hotel and they just keep their fingers crossed that they’ll meet Mr. Perfect. There aren’t a lot of women in this category, but I’ve met enough where I thought it’s worth mentioning them. Girls like this can be a catch, but a lot of them are really looking for financial security so you have to be careful about that.

Non-prostitute Good girl 

This isn’t a very large group in Pattaya, but it’s not completely non-existent. There are girls who work in Pattaya or have shops in Pattaya because there is money to be made off of the tourism. Maybe they own a shop or they’re a vendor at a market. Or maybe they work for a big company who sent them to their Pattaya division. These women might have a Thai boyfriend or a Thai husband, but some are single. The women I have met like this never even saw Walking Street despite living in Pattaya for a few months or more. They also weren’t eager to meet or date foreign men so it’s not too easy to get things rolling with them. There are universities in Pattaya but they don’t have large student bases so this isn’t a place where you’d find college girls.

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Pattaya Ladyboys: The Sexiest Shemales in the World

Pattaya is heaven for those who wants to have a hot and clean ladyboy experience. The best looking ladyboys from all over Thailand come to Pattaya looking for work, and it's your job to give it to them!

Whether you like thin and tan bodies or tall and white-skinned, the sheer amount of ladyboys available is stunning. Clean shaven hard bodies, these transexual girls are exciting in bed, and are often fun-loving and light hearted as well. The perfect travel experience, plus no fear of pregnancy! Not just for homosexuals, Thai ladyboys come pre-op and post-op as described further below.

My First Time

My very first time having sex with a ladyboy was great. I was lucky enough to find a feminine stunner that was hotter than a lot of real women. Tall, white smooth skin and packing a natural big booty.

Kissing her felt like any other woman, and no strange feelings of being with a man arose in me (which has happened at various occasions following). Her body was noticeably harder than most women's, undoubtedly due to the fact that she was born to a man's body.

This particular ladyboy, named Noi, worked in Pattaya, and was born in Chiang Mai. She was wearing a black tight mini-dress that made her body look incredibly enticing. Naturally hairless, except for a few regions which she kept clean waxed. Licking around her curves and crevices tasted so feminine and sweet, something you would never find in a full-blown man.

Noi had a high energy in the bed, and enjoyed everything with humor and fun. Kissing and groping was intense and full of passion for the moment. As I sucked on her breast implants I was pleased to find no nipple hair, and she the perfect not-to-big fake boobs.

As groping progressed, the energy got hot, and it was clear that I was about to fuck a woman. Or maybe that's just the subconscious speaking. A lot of guys worry about whether having sex with a transsexual is considered gay or not gay, to which I have one answer: try it. If you're gay you'll know.

Once it came time for the grind, I uncovered her ass which was fully groomed and manicured fresh. That little butt hole was about to get reamed and creamed, and was the perfect vessel for my eager cock.

Not to go into full gory details, all I will say is that it was a great sexual experience, that led me to meet other ladyboys, some which did not have the same luster. Finding a true winner is not that easy, as the photographs Pattaya ladyboys use online are mostly doctored and old. If you find a real keeper, hold onto her.

Types of Pattaya Ladyboys

Pre-op (มีหำ) With dick

The most popular ladyboys in Pattaya have dicks. Most who want to jump in the sack with a transsexual aren't looking for a replica of a real woman, but rather a whole different sexual experience. Beautifully pre-op tan waxed bodies look great bent over doggy, and a good romp will get her cumming hands-free.

Thai cocks are rarely if never circumcised, so be ready for this. Most of the macho Thai guys who bang a Pattaya ladyboy hit them from the back, while the more feminine guys go all out sucking and fucking each other. Pattaya ladyboys are easy to get into three-ways and other group sex endeavors. All it takes is a little cash, or some dating game.

Ladyboys with dicks are versatile in bed, and aren't afraid to tell you this. Whether you are looking for a top, bottom, or both, just ask the question. The majority of ladyboys in Pattaya will know this question... but if not you can always ask them in Thai:

mii ham mai (มีหำไหม) = Do you have a cock?

-Post-op (แปลงเพศ) No dick

A minority of Pattaya ladyboys have undergone genital reassignment surgery. This means their penis is cut reformed into a makeshift vagina, although some of these are purely for show. A good surgery result will be ready for sex, but often that is not the case.

For those squemish about sleeping with another penis, post-op ladyboys may be right for you, and can be an effective stepping stone into the transsexual community.

One friend recalls his experience with a post-op transexual: The pussy looked impressivly authentic, although there was no natural lubrication. Not as scary as some may think, up close to her genital area was nice and hygienic. Unfortunately, she was only able to take 3 inches, so the back door was still the primary organ used for sex.

As a result of genital reassignment surgery, some Thai ladyboys may lose their sex drive. Something to ask about and consider on your trip to Pattaya.

If you want to ask a ladyboy if she has done the procedure, honestly hand gestures are better than trying to pronounce a language you are not yet comfortable with - if that's the case. But for those who insist on speaking Thai, here's the translation below. Don't worry about the tones, just try to say it as it reads.

tam salaya gam pleng pet ruu yang (ทำศัลยกรรมแปลงเพศหรือยัง)

Where to find ladyboys in Pattaya?

Freelancers

Meeting hot ladyboys who are DTF is easier than reading this article when you're in the heart of Pattaya. Simply take a walk around any frequented soi and you're sure to find a friendly ladyboy smile, who may even call you out offering her services.

Spend less money with freelancers than you would at a go-go bar or escort service. Marine Disco is one of the few nightclubs in Pattaya that let ladyboys in. Hit this spot for freebies if you're lucky.

Full on street hookers can be found by Beach Road frequently, and also at Walking Street during the late night hours. Take a cruise there as well as Soi Buakao -- don't pay over 1000 baht for short-time.

Online dating services have tons of stunning ladyboys ready to jump in the sack within minutes notice. Thai Friendly is free to sign up and you can even send messages for free too.

Ladyboy Massage Parlors

For the cheap quickie, you can ease the stress of the day with a speedy blow job or even more at tons of places in Pattaya. It's full of happy ending massage parlors. Where to find them? Chances are that if you see a ladyboy working in a "massage" advertized place, it's most likely a blow job joint.

Try Soi 13/1 or 13/2 at all hours of the day. All the way from from Beach Road to Second Road is loaded with happy ending massage parlors that will likely have at least one hot ladyboy working.

Pay the normal Thai massage/Oil massage prices of 300-500 baht, then get your happy ending finish for another 300-500 Baht extra. You shouldn't be paying more than 1000 baht for a massage and a shoot session. Transsexuals give great massages, ask anyone in Pattaya.

One specifically ladyboy massage joint is located on Second Road between Soi 13/2 and 13/3. Great service and lots of friendly transsexual stunners around the clock.

Bars and Go-Go's

The best place to find professional sex experts is in a Pattaya bar. Thailand is full of hot and steamy bars packed with blazingly sexy transsexuals. Ladyboy bars and Go-Go bars should be the curious tourist's first and last stop. Read our 3 favorite bars below.

Best 3 Ladyboy Bars Pattaya (Quick Review)

Kitten Club Pattaya (A-Go-G0)

This adult bar in Pattaya is home to some of the world's sexiest kittens. How convienent that it's part of the Kitten Club which offers full-on women, as opposed to Obsessions that is straight ladyboy heaven *not sure that straight is the right term hehe. The two bars are connected to the Penthouse Hotel, so when you're ready to take your sexy ladyboy into the bedroom for some fun, you don't have to go far. Short-time room costs 500 baht.

One hot point of Obsessions is the jacuzzi right in the middle of this devious sex den, making for a very hot experience. Go there, buy some lady drinks (or ladyBOY drinks) and enjoy life on the wild side!

Opens at around 6PM and usually runs until 2AM. You might be able to snag some discounts if you get there around closing.

Baby Boom A-Go-Go

If you don't want to see other tourists around while you are in ladyboy heaven, find this bar! Located in a unfrequented backalley off of Soi Buakhao, Baby Boom can offer a lot of attention for the ladyboy enthusiast. 5-star hotties and decent prices make this spot a personal favorite. Owned by a friendly European, Baby Boom can host parties and is very accomidating to it's customers. One of the best ladyboy bars in Pattaya if you like things a bit more private.

Sensations Bar

Of the most frequented and highly reviewed ladyboy establishments in Pattaya, Sensations Bar is one of the best. Right in the open on Soi Buakhao, the super sexy trans-girls bring in the attention. Some of the best looking, truly beautiful clean ladyboys are in Sensations Bar, and are sure to make you smile... or more.

Sensations Bar has been around since 2012 and is foreign-Thai owned as are many. Good reputation for customer treatment and wild parties! Open from 5PM to 2AM or so.

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My problem with Thailand message boards and forums

There are a lot of message boards about Thailand out there, and I’m really not a big fan.  There’s so much negativity and hate found in those forums it’s enough to make you sick.  It’s also difficult to find any good information since it’s basically a bunch of people arguing, disagreeing, and fighting about things.  There’s also a lot of bad information on the boards.  People who post incorrect info or even lies face no consequences for doing so.  So if you hit the boards in search of good info, you’re just likely to get offended, confused, and possibly misguided.

I have done some internet chatting on the boards a while back, but I quickly noticed that I was wasting a lot of time.  I wasn’t learning anything, I wasn’t meeting new people, and I wasn’t reaching anyone.   It’s ok to have time wasters, but shouldn’t they be fun?  The negativity of the boards makes it nearly impossible to find much enjoyment in it. If you check out some of the larger ones about Thailand, they basically split into two categories:  ones that discuss girls, GoGo’s, bg’s etc.,  and ones that absolutely don’t allow those topics.  I have issues with both. Forums that mainly discuss the pay for play scene These types of boards have a habit of only talking about the pay for play scene.  It’s a part of Thailand and there’s no point in hiding it; I certainly talk about it on this blog.  But how much can you possibly discuss in regards to prostitutes?   It would be nice to have a blend of different topics with gogo’s and bar girls being maybe 10-20%.  I think relationships with non-bg’s is a more important topic, but you don’t see it discussed much on those boards. Another big problem I’ve had with the boards that mainly discuss bg’s is that there are thousands of pictures of girls littered throughout the sites.  A lot of the pictures show the bar girls naked.  These girls aren’t modeling and these girls HAVE NEVER CONSENTED to their pictures being put on the internet for all to see.  But because some guy asked her “pretty please” to pose for a picture, he thinks it’s right to post the picture on a site about hookers and thus clearly identifying her as being one?  What’s worse is that often times they’ll talk all about the experience they had with the girl in the picture.  This is lunacy.  It would be highly illegal in most countries and the owners of the forums would face heat if they didn’t monitor that type of thing.  But it seems to fly here.   I really can’t stand it and I’ll tell you why.  A girl should be able to make her living without every single friend, family member, and neighbor from her home town knowing that she’s a bar girl and seeing nude pictures of her.  Just because they’re Thai doesn’t mean the link won’t eventually get to where she doesn’t want it to go.  The other nightmare situation is if she wants to quit and do something better with her life.  Those pictures can haunt her and her potential boyfriends or even husband.  I don’t recommend marrying a former bar girl, obviously.  But plenty of guys do.  As I said there are many thousands of these pictures on some of the sites; some of those girls quit and/or got married.  Don’t you feel bad for the guy who is in love with one of these girls only to find her picture and sexual conquest stories all over the internet?   It’s not right and I wish that the forum owners would put a stop to it. Forums that don’t talk about the pay for play scene

There are a few really big ones in this category and they’re well run.  My two issues with these forums though are negativity and ignorance.  So it’s not the administrators fault for not being able to contain the negativity, that’s just impossible.  But it’s rampant on these sites.  At least the hooker forums are friendly!  It’s just nothing but snide remarks, attacking the poster, and picking fights.  That is a problem on most forums and it is what it is.  But I also think it’s a little off that the bg scene is totally off limits.  They’re supposed to be boards about life in Thailand; meanwhile you can’t walk 3 blocks in some cities without getting solicited by prostitution – so I’d say it’s very much a part of life in Thailand.  I understand wanting to limit filth and not let it get out of hand; 100%.  And I also realize that this would be a challenge.  However, I think it would be worth it to face the challenge head on rather than swearing off the topics completely.  After all, how many hundreds of men would save their nest egg and their sanity if they were more informed about the dangers of the “scene?”   By not facing this aspect of foreigners being in Thailand I think it takes away from the integrity of the board.  There is such a thing as an adult discussion about prostitution.  So by painting a picture of a sexless Thailand, this breeds a lot of “board Angels” as I like to call them who pretend to be holier than thou.  Half the guys on those boards have never smoked, drank, or been with a prostitute in their lives, didn’t you know?  So between the bickering, the bad information, the negativity, and the strict rules about what you can and can’t discuss…count me out.

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Why Pattaya should be your next holiday destination in Thailand

A couple of months ago, Davis sent me some pictures of a girl he met on Thai Love Links.  He was really excited about this girl; her pictures looked great and he said they were hitting it off on Skype.  Davis lives and works in Chiang Mai and the girl goes to a college in Isaan.  He’s  a young guy, 28 to be exact.  That’s young enough to justify the girl’s age, 19.  I have to say, she looked pretty darn hot for a girl on a dating site.  But she was the real deal; he was able to confirm that by doing Skype video chats with her, a must for online dating.   They were both into each other, but had to wait a couple of months to meet because of his work schedule and her school schedule.  They both had some time off around New Years’, so Davis made the trip over to Isaan, where the girl lives with her parents and goes to school.   What happened over the next two days was sort of ridiculous.  It’s not really a cautionary tale, but it’s not a fairy tale either.   In any event, I asked Davis all about it and you’ll find the transcripts to our conversation below.  You’ll find it to be insightful at the very least.  There are also some rules that I’ll bold and put in red as Davis and I go through everything.  And the picture above is not of the girl, but of a comparable girl. M = Mike D = Davis M-  Dude….? D-   What? M-  This is a stupid story you sent me.  I don’t even know what you were thinking.  I don’t even know if I’m going to post it. D- Well, it’s up to you M- Let’s just go over some of this, I think I’d rather talk about the story and post the discussion, then post the actual story you sent me. D- Was it really that bad? M- I don’t know what it was, let’s just go over a few things. D- OK, should I start from when I was hiding in the bushes? M- No,  you did that in the doc you sent me too.  Are you Quentin Tarantino?  Is this a sequel to Pulp Fiction?  Why can’t we just start with the beginning? D- You tell me to do whatever it takes to grab the reader’s from at the beginning, this way they don’t think it’s going to be boring. M- This story is a lot of things, but boring is not one of them.  Look, just answer some questions, OK? D-OK M- Did you get carried away with this girl before meeting her.  You know I talk about that on the site a lot, “Don’t get carried away with a girl on the internet.”   D- I liked her a lot, maybe a little more than I should have let myself at that point, but nothing too crazy.  I wasn’t in love with her, definitely not.  But she was already saying that she’s in love with me. M- Why didn’t you have her meet you in Chiang Mai? D- I asked her to come here many times, but she seemed more comfortable with me going there. M- Because? D- She said she wanted me to meet her Mother, I guess that was a part of it. M-  She hadn’t met you, and already she wanted you to meet the Mother? D- I mean, she’s only 19 ya know. RULE #1 -  There are lots of annoying downsides to being with a young college girl. M- Ok, well you shouldn’t have went to Isaan to meet her Mother at that stage; I would have told you that even prior to knowing the rest of the story. D- I know you would have  M- Where were the two of you at in terms of your relationship just prior to meeting her? D- Well, we basically agreed to stop seeing other people and to give things a go with each other.  I started blocking some crazy Thai girls that were posting on my Facebook wall and she stopped accepting friend request from foreign guys. M- Facebook is annoying. D-  It’s horrible.  She isn’t talking to foreign guys on there anymore, but she says really dumb s**T on there every day and it’s so annoying.  Her statuses are so stupid, and then Thai guys reply to them in droves.  I think I have to tell her to stop with the stupid Facebook posts, I can’t take it anymore. M- I love when they try to say something meaningful and the auto translate says something like, “sky not so beautiful, rocks gleaming, i have a tear for practice.”   D- haha, yea stupid sh*t like that. M- World know me, i am the rainbow. But have anxiety in life? Immediately of course. D- lol, yea I need to tell her to stop talking like that. M-  Eh, let it go.  They all do that.  As long as she’s not being an attention whore or trying to meet foreign guys, I think you should just let it go.  If you guys were together for a long time, maybe you’d be in a position to tell her that some of her posts are a little strange, but you’re not there yet. D- True M- Ok, so you finally get to Isaan and you meet her.  Was she what you expected? D- Sort of.  I mean I’ve seen her on the webcam a lot, but it’s kind of hard to tell on there.  I’ll say this, the pictures she originally sent me look way hotter than she could ever look in person. RULE # 2:   Don’t underestimate a Thai girl’s willingness to use Photoshop M- Ok, but she was still pretty? D- Yea she’s pretty. M- And how was it going when you first met her? D-  Not gonna lie, it was weird at first.  I was really anxious on the bus ride and I think we were both kind of nervous for at least the first hour or two.  It was nerve racking. RULE #3:  Introduce alcohol as quickly as possible when you first meet a girl in person who you’ve been talking to lot online. M- Well, sometimes that awkwardness never dies.  Sometimes two people just don’t click in person, no matter how it seemed on the internet.  This is yet another reason why it’s pointless to get carried away with a girl you’ve never met before.   But, whatever, you guys eventually did get over the awkwardness, correct? D-  Yes.   Well, her English is a lot worse than I thought it was, so that was a problem.  I actually know more Thai than she knows English, and I don’t know a lot of Thai. M-  Yea, you don’t need to have an expansive vocabulary when all you’re trying to do is get a girl to take her clothing off on Skype.  But being in a real moment with a girl, it’s different. D- Iol, it is different, and I think that was causing some of the anxiety.  But we went on a nice walk, got some good food, and then I met her Mother. M- How’d that go? D-  That went OK, I mean I hated every second of it, but…I got through it. M- You had to meet the Mother before you even touched this girl; I don’t think I would have had it in me. D- yea, but I invested some time in this girl, so it was just another hurdle. M- Lots of hurdles with this one. D- yea, and as you know, more to come.


M- You do realize that you’re a young guy in….THAILAND…right?  I mean the girl’s pretty and all, but there’s no reason why you can’t find 10 like her in Chiang Mai this weekend. D- it’s true and you’re right.  But I like this one. RULE #4:  Don’t let the chase of one girl’s pu**y consume you. M-  OK so you get through all of that, and now you’re into Friday evening, and what do you two decide to do that night? D- Well, she decides that we’re going to hang out with her friends. M- And you don’t give her any resistance to spending a night with a bunch of kids you’re a decade older than? D- No, not a lot of resistance. REAPTING RULE #4:  Don’t let the chase of one girl’s pu**y consume you. M- Sounds awful. D-  I just tried to drink my way through it.  It was me, her best girl friend, two lady boys, two gay guys, and one nice Thai kid.  We were playing drinking games and what not. M- There wasn’t a high roof top you could jump off of head first? D-  Nope, just alcohol.  But it did get bad, her best friend was crying all night.  They were all drunk, vomiting, and emotional. RULE #5 -  IT’s OK to meet a girl’s friends, but you don’t have to actually hang out with them. M- And you have a hotel room, so I guess you’re just counting down the minutes before the two of you get into your room alone. D- That’s it man, the alcohol in my system had about the same impact as Photoshop on her, she was gorgeous again. M-  So you finally get her to your room? D-  Not quite.  They didn’t have real hotels there, it’s more like a motel.  And it’s really the only motel in the area.  On our way to the room we bumped into a Thai guy who was fuming.  They had it out quickly.  I couldn’t understand exactly what they were saying but I know he told her not to go in the room with me.  And she said something like, “ You can’t tell me what to do, f**k off.” RULE# 6:  Find out if the girl has a crazy ex boyfriend prior to meeting her in the town the crazy ex boyfriend lives in. M- You didn’t ask her if she had an ex-boyfriend lurking around?  What’s the matter with you? D- I did ask her something like that weeks before I came.  She pretty much said NO! RULE # 7:  Despite what they say, there’s always a crazy ex boyfriend in the picture. M- Ok, so then what? D- We got in the room and I tried to bang. M- No issue with that. D- yea, but she wasn’t having it. M-  Because of the Ex lurking? D- No, she just wasn’t into it.  I tried, but it wasn’t happening. RULE # 8:  Outside of the whore houses and Pattaya, Thai girls are actually kind of conservative. M- So you go to sleep? D-  Yea, well we did, but we were woken up. M- By…. D- The crazy ex-boyfriend. RULE # 9:  Skip town as soon as the crazy ex boyfriend enters the picture. M-This is when you called me? D-  That’s when I attempted to call you, I didn’t know who else to call.  I didn’t know what to do. M- Yea sorry I didn’t pick up, it was 2AM Saturday morning though, you know there’s going to be a good chance that I’m busy…knitting at that time.   So what happened? D- The guy was going kind of crazy,  knocking very loudly on the door.  He was definitely trying to get her to open the door, but I wasn’t going to let that happen. M- Unless he broke the door down. D- yea, well luckily he didn’t.  He just threatened her.  At the time I thought he was saying he was going to do something to her Mother, but I don’t really speak Thai, and that’s not what he was saying.  But when people staying in the next room over came outside to complain, he did leave. M- And at this point you bolted and left town with her? D- You already know the story, so you know that’s not what happened. M- That is what should have happened.  Once the guy appeared the first time, the last place in the world you should have stayed was that hotel.  And then after the second time, you should have done anything to get out of there in one piece. D- Where was I going to go?  It was the middle of the night and it’s the only hotel in town. M- There’s more than one correct answer to that question.  Actually, anywhere in the world other than where you stayed would have been a suitable answer. D-  I was drunk too, that didn’t help with the decision making process.  At the time I just felt safe in the room. RULE # 10:  Alcohol will F your S up M- In the one place he knew for sure he could find you. D-  Yes, but he wasn’t even the biggest problem at that point.  See, I thought he threatened to hurt the Mother, but actually, he threatened to call the Mother. M-  Which he did. D-  Yes, 30 minutes later her sister knocked on the door and said that she had to go and that her Mother was on the way to the room. M- Me and you had very different Friday night experiences that night.  Ok, so at that point you both leave and she goes with the sister? D- You know the story, again, you know that didn’t happen.  No, she fought with her sister and then they both called the Mother and lied, saying that she was staying with her girlfriend, while I was in a different room. M-  So you stayed? D-  Yes. RULE # 11:   Skip town as soon as there is any family drama. M- And then you tried to bang her again? D- Of course, but it didn’t work. M- And what happened next? D- Just as we were falling asleep for the 3rd time, someone started knocking on the door again. M- The crazy ex boyfriend? D- No, the Mother! M- And…. D- Well she had to open the door for the Mother.  I didn’t know who it was at first, she just cracked the door open, I thought it was the sister again when I heard a female voice and saw her open the door so quickly.  But her Mother just barged in the room while I was in my boxers on top of the blanket.  It was very embarrassing. M- So then you both left? D-  No, then she left.  The Mother wasn’t happy that she had lied to her and that she was spending the night with a guy she had only just met for the first time. M-  Yet, she insisted on meeting the guy her daughter had just met for the first time. D- yea, that is kind of contradicting isn’t it? REPEATING RULE #1 -  There are lots of annoying downsides to being with a young college girl. M- And that was the end of the night? D-  No.  Before they left, the Mother told me that the crazy ex was downstairs in his car.  She didn’t speak much English, but she knew the word “crazy” and it was the only adjective she used to describe the guy.   M- But you still didn’t leave? D-  No, I saw his car through the window.  He was there for a while, way after the girl and her Mother left.  I figured it was still safer to stay in the room. M- Did you look around for weapons? D- I’m not ashamed to admit that I did.  The old TV was really about it. M-  But he leaves eventually and you get some sleep. D-  Yes, and I was supposed to stay there Saturday night, but I did tell myself that there was no way I was going to let that happen. M- A little late with that light bulb going off.  You’re lucky to be alive. D-  I know.  I’m pretty sure he was in that car thinking about whether or not to confront me, and I’m just lucky that he chose not to. M- You’re lucky that he didn’t call 5 people to come beat the s**T out of you or worse. D-  Yes, that too. M- Ok, Day 2. D- Day 2 was better.  The Mom didn’t have a problem with me at all, she just didn’t like that her daughter lied to her.  So things were fine the next day and she met me out.  I told her that I was going to stay with her all day and through the evening, but head back at night.  She understood that anyone in their right mind wouldn’t want a repeat of Friday night. M- And how did day 2 go? D- IT was good.  She took me to some kind of show, where these Thai performers picked me out of the crowd, brought me on stage, and basically made a fool out of me.  But the crowd loved it. M- Do you enjoy being tortured? D- No, but the girl was loving it, so I was happy. M- And where did things leave off? D-  Well, she started getting emotional around sun down, knowing that I was about to leave.   So I saw that as a good opportunity.  I still had the room booked for that night, so I brought her back to the room. M- Were you scared that the guy might be there again. D- Just a little bit, it was still kind of early. M- And you got some? D-  I did!!! M- Thank goodness!  At least there’s a decent ending to the story. D- Yea I needed it.  IF she didn’t put out there, I was going to hit a massage parlor or something.  She was blue balling me pretty bad. M- Then you left, and how are things now? D- We’re still talking on Skype every day, and she’s planning on coming to Chiang Mai to visit me the next time she gets off, for a full week this time, and the Mother is OK with it. M-  So you’re in a fully fledged long distance relationship, but at least you two of you are positioned where it’s easy enough to see each other every other weekend, as opposed to someone who is in another country. D- exactly.  I still have my space and I do what I do over here.  But it’s nice to have someone like her in my life.   We can spend a lot of time together, but never too much time.  And if things work out with the girl, maybe she’ll move here to take classes at some point. M- OK, good stuff.  I think I’m going to end it here and post it just like that.  I’ll give you a head’s up when it’s live. D- OK Mike, thanks.