thaimeiser

[thaimeiser]

Blame this guy named tony for this ok😭

[thaimeiser]

Hello there! Finally I can post this piece I drew for a TOH Zine (I miss you Flapjack)

I'm still pretty proud of it, specially the color

And I know it's pretty similar to last Hunter drawing, but it was a total coincidence I didn't noticed until it was too late

[thaimeiser]

it's been a few weeks since tianshan has officially sailed, yes.

but i'm STILL NOT OVER IT. mo FINALLY accepting he tian's care and love, not fighting back anymore 😭😭

will i ever get used to it?? (spoiler: no

[thaimeiser]

Hello there! I’m participating on @owlhousesecretsanta ! And here I am with Huntlow for Christmas  Hope you liked your gift @ck2k18 Merry Christmas everyone and Happy new year too!

[thaimeiser]

These two panels are emotional 🥹

The two truly missed each others 🥲

My baby momo has suffered enough

[thaimeiser]

He Tian saying he went to start a business (to make money) to support Little Mo sounds like a wedding proposal and you can't tell me otherwise.

Marriage era after university era, here we go!

[thaimeiser]

[thaimeiser]

Okay, I have screamed, squealed, hyperventilated, and smiled like a dork over this all damn day (I am by no means exaggerating).

Let's analyze this tasty ass chapter Old Xian, the fuckin legend he is, gave us on this holy day 🙌 😍

FIRST OF ALL

Bruh, they were MAKING OUT. You can even see in the other panels, Mo's lips are red and kind of puffy, so it makes you wonder how long they were going for before we popped back in again (I'm seriously going to try not to squeal all the way through writing this). The last chapter people were confused on whether it was a kiss on the lips or not. I still hold firm that it was.

NOW, LET'S LOOK AT THAT DANG KISS:

I think something very important happened here, aside from the actual physical kiss. Mo was able to, in the best way he could, articulate that he has feelings for He Tian, and He Tian also articulated in his way that he does not want to dominate or control Mo, like maybe he had in the past.

In the last chapter, He Tian knelt a little so he was not looming over Mo. I think this is important and was the first step in what He Tian was trying to do here in this interaction. Kneeling to someone's eye level means you are putting yourself on equal levels. You are taking this person seriously and you are doing your best not to be threatening or overbearing in any way.

After the first kiss that went wrong, He Tian has been controlling himself like crazy. He's still devilish at times, but flicking Mo's butt or kissing him on the cheek is not as aggressive as other things he did in the past (groping, shoving his tongue down Mo's throat, dragging an unwilling Mo places). He's backed off, and he backed off even more after learning that Mo's anxiety stems from She Li attacking, controlling, and dominating him. He Tian also learned that Mo's financial situation is no small thing and he has gained perspective into Mo's life and needs. In other words, He Tian has matured and has worked on himself so he could be someone Mo would love.

So, of course Mo loves him back now and kisses him. We pick up with both of them processing that kiss here:

So, remember, Mo knew that he was dragging He Tian to his room because he was overwhelmed with feelings and wanted to kiss him finally, but He Tian had NO IDEA what was happening until he was standing in front of Mo, so he's processing this as much as Mo is. And the way they process is so different.

I love that Mo begins trying to explain himself, but also cannot bring himself to say that he loves He Tian directly (yes LOVE, not like). He says that his mom also doesn't dislike him, the most roundabout way he could say "I like you" (but we all know he LOVES him, right?). And he continues to talk really fast and look away from He Tian, because I think for whatever reason, he's scared to see how He Tian is reacting (because Mo is insecure) and also simply because he's embarassed of course.

And how is He Tian reacting? In that panel where Mo is just word-vomiting at him, he's studying Mo. His face is calm, like he's trying to get a read on what Mo's motivations for kissing him are. He's also reluctant to let Mo go. He even continues to hold his hand when Mo goes to take the ear piercing kit from the drawer.

I think He Tian is probably feeling a combination of "Does he think this is what he has to do to repay me?" and also a bit of "please let this be real". So he makes Mo look at him, because the ear piercing kit probably sent some worry through him. He knows Mo has been preyed upon by She Li before, so He Tian is making sure Mo knows he's not the same as She Li. Remember, this was He Tian a couple hours, terrified Mo was going to reject him for being the same as She Li, and a few minutes ago, replaying what he did and feeling like he's bought into his father's violent world:

He's still carrying that with him here, the terror that Mo saw what he did and the inner-conflict about being a part of She Li and his father's dark world. In this moment, he doesn't want Mo to think he's another violent person who Mo needs to serve or placate. He explicitly says to Mo: "You're the one who saved me."

AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

It could be literal, when Mo came up behind She Li and whacked him in the head to get him off He Tian.

OR, it very likely means Mo made He Tian change for the better. He's not the same guy who forced a kiss on Mo, or who tried to control him, or who threw money at him to get Mo to do what he wanted. He's changed into someone who wants to work hard, who wants to protect goodness, who wants to be gentle and kind like Mo is. Mo did save him. He can be someone different from his father, his brother, and She Li if Mo is there to remind him how to be.

So he reminds Mo of this because he wants Mo to know that he owes He Tian nothing. He doesn't have to pierce his ear for him to show that He Tian has any sort of ownership or dominance or anything. I think He Tian missed the fact that Mo is having a rough time, even now, being direct.

For Mo, he's trying to remind He Tian of this

He's trying to say, indirectly, you can help me do this because, yes, I do like you back. But He Tian's caught up in making sure Mo's not feeling any obligation to him just because he took care of She Li. AND ISN'T THAT BOTH SO CUTE AND HILARIOUS?! 🤣

Mo's out here doing his best to let He Tian know he's ready to admit his feelings now, and He Tian's so worried for Mo that he needs to know FOR SURE this is something Mo actually wants. He has to see his face and he has to have some form of explicit confirmation before he can let himself accept what's happening. He could have just gone in for another kiss on his own, but he wouldn't do it. For He Tian, he does not want to "disgust" Mo ever again. It's full consent or nothing. So, after making it clear that Mo owes him nothing, he asks him outright, "tell me what you want".

And poor Mo's still having a hard time. He can't say the words quite yet, and that's okay. For Mo, I think actually asking for something he truly wants is quite difficult, because nothing goes well for him. Wanting anything is a dangerous game for him, so even just saying it out loud is like a jinx for him, like the universe will hear and He Tian will be taken away (and we do know he will be and I don't know how Mo's going to handle that). So he just points. It's the best he can do. He Tian's just gonna have to accept that.

And the SECOND he gets the confirmation he needed, He Tian kisses Mo again. IMAGINE WHAT THAT WOULD FEEL LIKE?! The person you've been blood-sweat-and-tears-ing for tells you they want you back??! He Tian's ear blushes in that panel where Mo points to him, because NOW it hits him that yes, this is real. The boy of his dreams actually wants him back!

And it's the gentlest kiss ever. It's so sweet and heartfelt. I'm really proud of He Tian's and Mo's character development. I would say He Tian has evolved more than Mo, just because we see that he's learned his lesson here fully and Mo is still fighting to voice his wants, but man both characters have come so far.

And He Tian says he'll give Mo anything. Anything. Mo's out here trying to give He Tian things (literal soup, a place to stay, piercing his ear), and He Tian turns around and says NO, YOU OWE ME NOTHING AND I WILL GIVE YOU ANYTHING. He Tian was going to straight up murder She Li for Mo. He was going to KILL someone.

I saw someone on here say that in the English language, we have no equivalent to what He Tian said here. He basically told Mo anything he was, is, and ever will be, anything he can get his hands on for Mo, anything he can do for Mo, for all time, forever and ever, is Mo's. He exists for Mo now.

LIKE???

I'M SORRY, WHAT???

Guys, they are married. All these rings and earrings and shit. Like, this is the vow that accompanies them.

I just ... I can't?

Wonderful and BRAVE chapter from Old Xian. I will NEVER get over it.

[thaimeiser]

He Tian asked: What do do you want?

AND MO SHOWED BY HIS FINGER HE TIAN’S LIPS.

He wanted a kiss and received one, bc He Tian will give him everything he wants.

(Xcuse me, now Goin scream in the woods)

[thaimeiser]

I'M TOTALLY NORMAL ABOUT THIS

[thaimeiser]

being with you is the best thing

[thaimeiser]

[thaimeiser]

Why TianShan's kiss was perfect

First of all, Mo initiated it. That alone is so incredibly meaningful. He always holds back and has trouble showing his feelings, it takes an extreme situation that threatens He Tian's life to make him show how much he loves He Tian. They faced such a situation but right now they are in the safety of Mo's home. His mother is there. He had time to process everything and finally takes the courage and understands and accepts his own need to show He Tian his feelings.

He Tian is often very forceful or playful about physical touch, but he learned to hold back more and respect Mo's boundaries. He saw what Mo was doing and let him take the lead. That was so beautiful! It showed his own growth. He Tian doesn't like giving up control. But he waited. He waited for Mo to come closer. He waited for Mo to take his hand. He waited for Mo to kiss him. He waited so patiently, all the while looking at Mo so gently. Like he would have been content just seeing that Mo cares for him, to just hold his hand.

We rarely see Mo initiating physical touch with He Tian. This is the first time we see him go this far. I have noticed this in previous chapters - despite being loud, rather aggressive and constantly pushing He Tian away, Mo is very gentle. Whenever He Tian was hurt, Mo touched him very carefully. It might be in part due to his hesitation and nervousness but he is very slow and tender when it comes to express his love. He reached for He Tian's hand and let their fingers intertwine, step by step. They looked at each other for quite some time before taking the next step. Mo finally reached out to put his hand in the nape of He Tian's neck and you can see his fingers trembling. They both held each other so carefully because there is so much that goes into this kiss and their touch. This is months-worth of longing, of pain, of understanding, of love, of fear and of final acceptance and finding a safe place.

[thaimeiser]

just love how mo initiated all of this 🥺 boy is not denying anything anymore and finally able to embrace his feelings for he tian and tries to prove it to him now with physical affection, but he tian doesn't even need that proof... that's why he's so relaxed here. he tian is supporting mo even now - being calm during a storm. it's so beautiful to witness. the lighting in the room emphasises this even further.

and mo made up his mind to do this even though he's visibly nervous, he tian keeps reassuring him just with his mere presence. he doesn't push, he doesn't need to, he just keeps smiling because he already knows how mo feels without having to prove it or tell him. the hand holding tho. that neck grab... it's all initiated by mo and that's such a big step for him, i am speechless.

but mo tries and that's all that matters, he is acting on his own.

i love to see their relationship turning from a rocky start to such a considerate, pure, tender one. they have grown so much and this development is everything. i am so proud of them 😭

[thaimeiser]

NO I WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT THIS EVERRRR 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[thaimeiser]

I always think a hug is somehow way more intimate than a kiss on the lips, maybe because when you hug, everything of you is glued to the other’s body, while kissing will always leave a little space between the necks no matter how hard you press yourself onto the other. So I just love it here that they hug. A tight, intimate, reciprocal hug.

[thaimeiser]

i’m so fucking done with people. The fact that he was literally forced to come out, bullying him and calling him a queerbaiter every day until he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore. Imagine being 18 and having the entire internet forcing you to come out and straight up labelling you.

I remember a few months back when Kit talked about his RIGHT to keep his sexuality private, and what makes it even worse is that the “hearstopper fans” were the ones harassing him and assuming his sexuality every fucking day, to the point he left twitter so he wouldn’t see all of it and not only that but literally made him address it.

And he’s right, some of you did miss the point of Heartstopper, LIKE DID WE WATCH THE SAME SHOW?? DID YOU LEARN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING?? and honestly it’s not something that can get lost in translation, it’s right fucking there, but some people just choose to ignore it and for what.

That being said, i just wanna share this quote from the show, it’s so important for everyone to understand that NOBODY owes us anything when it comes to them figuring their sexuality or just wanting to keep it to themselves, if someone chooses to have that part of themselves private it doesn’t immediately invalidates them, it doesn’t mean it’s not real and it does NOT give anyone the right to force it out or assume something.