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thankyouarmy2020 · 5 years ago

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map of the soul on:e (first day)

i’ve never been good a writing texts even though many had told me i am, but i will try my best to express my feelings into words as i feel it is necessary. i just finished watching the first day of the online concert, map of the soul on:e. i was truly amazed with the amount of stuff, like choreographys, outfits, scenary, etc. i really enjoyed it and for a moment i could feel like i was there with them. after the encore, the guys got all together and talked about their feelings, how they felt during this hard time. i gotta admite, it really broke my heart seeing jimin cry that way, i’d never seen him cry that way ever, he was devastated, he talked about how he couldn’t focus and how he hadn’t been able to give all of his effort because he kept thinking about how no one was there and it wasn’t a real concert. it made really sad because i know and everyone knows that jimin lives for concerts, and he is nothing without them, that’s what truly fulfills him. not only him, but the boys too. i mean, it’s their job as singers to perform the music they make on stage. i could feel my heart literally break in two. i love those guys with all my heart. they really had been there for me on my hardest times, they had given me advices and taught me a lot A LOT of things that i didn’t knew and helped me grow as a person. the words for the amount of gratitude i feel in my heart towards them would never be enough, it’s literally beyond any language, i can’t even begin to express it. i used to feel bad all the time for coming 7 years later, when they had already built a beautiful bond with armys, but now i can see,that i made it on the right time and on the right place. it was all meant to be, and i’m grateful. one of them in particular, yoongi to be specific, taught me a lot. his words and now his presence irradiate comfortness and calmness to me, it’s like he is my safe place. the place where i can go to whenever i’m having a hard time. one thing that i will always remember and will remain forever in my heart, it’s the time when i felt like giving up one of my biggest dreams, to be more specific, the dream that would define my entire future. i felt like giving up because i thought that i wasn’t succesfull at it, i wasn’t good enough, and it was just a waste of time to even consider about it. but he spoke a lot about dreams, he still does and all the boys too (in fact they did tonight). he taught me that dreams don’t have to remain as only dreams, that i don’t have to let go of them, and most importantly NEVER GIVE UP because dreams do come true. after those comforting words i decided that i would follow his advice, and go after my dreams. i took the path that i thought it was (and i still think it is) right. but in that path i came along with a lot of insecurities, a lot of questions that i couldn’t found the answer to, and that made me nervous, anxious. everytime i thought about those questions i felt like throwing up. it wasn’t doing any good to me. once again, i decided to rely on who i consider my friend and adviser, yoongi, and he gave me this advice. the moment i read it, i started seeing everything blurry from the amount of tears that were in my eyes, because it was the exact answer i was looking for, the answer that would erase all my questions and insecurities, and in that moment i remember thinking that this little guy came into my life with a purpose, and it wasn’t all just a coincidence. the thing that he told was “take your hands off of what you can’t control, and get your hands on what you can change”. after that, i swear i felt like a backpack full of stones fell of my shoulder, and i could breathe again. all my fears and insecurities vanished in a second, and it was all thanks to that little guy, with his cute gummy smile and tiny eyes. i really don’t know what i’d do without them. seeing them tonight i felt really hopefull about everything, even though we weren’t seeing each other in person i really felt like they were here with me, i was there with them, everytime they’d look at the cameras they were looking at me. for a moment i forgot about the distance between us. the 7 of them: seokjin, yoongi, hoseok, namjoon, jimin, taehyung, jungkook. they all have a big and special place in my heart that i only hold for them. i feel truly grateful with god because he put them in my way. i don’t regret anything. i love those guys with my entire heart, soul, brain and body. i consider them my best friends and my older brothers, and i know that everything that comes our way we will overcome it, because we both are strong, bts and army. we are bulletproof. we have faced a lot of hard bullets, so what does this one has that we can’t overcome? we really can through it all together. you were only seven, but you have us all here. you got me, and i got you. don’t worry and just lean on me, lean on us. we can overcome this. we are strong and powerful, there’s nothing we can’t go through. i purple you. you mean the world to me. there’s nothing in this world that can express the gratitude i feel for you for the amount of things you’ve done for me. the only thing left to say is: thank you, and i love so much, i truly do.

-melisa

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thankyouarmy2020 · 5 years ago

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