that-strange-vault-lady

[that-strange-vault-lady]

[that-strange-vault-lady]

Entry: 006

Date: Wed, 08.21.2277

Flies the size of cats, spiders the size of dogs and scorpions the size of a motorbike, not to mention those cockroaches that I had to deal with just yesterday, what could have caused this sort of gigantism. Surely radiation alone couldn’t have caused this? I swear at a distance I even saw what looked like wasps, but if they where that big from afar I dread to think how big they must be in up close.

To be fair that’s not strangest thing that I saw today but, I hesitate to even say what was. Quiet honestly I worry whether or not I’m just going insane and hallucinating, it was at night and I was feeling tired. Mr Patches thinks I’m not crazy and I really saw it but I’m not sure. It looked like a flying saucer, just like the ones from the comics. It came fast, the sound of it’s arrival was deafening. When it stopped it hovered for a moment a few yards away, there was all of a sudden a super bright light, by the time my eyes had adapted it was gone.

Feels now more like remembering a dream than a memory. Not that I could ever tell anyone without them thinking I have lost my marbles. On the note of people I got to the tower that Ronald told me about but they wanted payment to let me inside. Tickets, metro train tickets to be specific, small laminated pieces of paper, now the traded for currency of the region apparently. I suppose it makes some seance that they would use a readily available but not so easily counterfeited item as a form of fiat currency, but the question becomes how do I earn there 100 ticket entry fee.

The guard at the tower recommended I saw this group nearby that where looking to hire people, well as it turns out they are someone I’m sure most hoped had died when the nukes fell. The internal revenue service, also known simply as the IRS was an organisation before the war that was designed to file and keep track of permits, handle anything bureaucratic and most prominently collect taxes. The IRS or at least the small group who genuinely believe themselves to be are looking are looking for people to collect taxes, can you imagine collecting taxes in a nuclear wasteland? Well as Benjamin Franklin once famously said, nothing is certain except death and taxes.

Once they saw I wasn't some heavily armed wilderness survivalist though they pointed me to another way I may be able to earn tickets. To the east of here past a place called Andale there is suppose to be a group that are looking for scavengers of electronic components, honestly I have been hoarding anything electrical since finding that house. Back in the vault Amanda was always the tech person, we had our jobs, we weren't suppose to stray out of what we where assigned by the G.O.A.T, but I wish I hadn't have followed the rules now, seeing how useful this stuff has been, like fixing the fridge and oven. Imagine how much more I could do if I actually knew what I was doing.

*sighs* Well for tonight I am held up in this boarded up saveway corner store, I couldn’t have made it back to the house before the sun sets so a cold mattress on the floor will have to do. Tomorrow I think I will go and see Sierra before I head back to the house tomorrow as I actually found 2 bottles of that quantum she was talking about. It really does glow just as much as she said it would. I’m tempted to drink one and give her the other, but I really need the money if I plan to get into this place. After I have dropped those off to her I will head back to the cal-de-sac house and then from there try and find this Andale place which should lead me to those people that are hiring.

With any luck I will have things they want earning me the tickets, and I will get the chance to ask them if they have seen dad or Amanda while I’m at it. Honestly I wish I at least knew what kind of things they wanted, I feel like I will have to find something to carry all of the stuff I have been hoarding just encase. *takes a deep breath* Well I think it’s time me and you get some sleep huh Mr Patches, a loooong day ahead of us tomorrow.

[that-strange-vault-lady]

Entry: 005

Date: Tue, 08.20.2277

Holy cow I cant believe that cockroaches can get so big. Sierra told me before I left this morning that if I’m looking for food, the only thing I am going to find around here are bugs. Honestly when she told me I wasn’t too thrilled to think about eating bugs believe me, but when she said that a large portion of even there food comes from bugs I thought I should, well take it more seriously. I mean her and Ronald have lasted long enough to put down roots, so they must know what there talking about. Plus to be honest even now I feel practically starved.

I was wondering around though when I noticed a few roaches roaming around an opened manhole, so it got me thinking, they must have a nest down there. Well tuned out I was right, but the issue is that cockroaches out here get way bigger than the ones we use to get in the vault. Honestly it makes me wonder if there is anything not life threatening on the surface, well if you can count in a sewer as on the surface I guess.

I’m honestly worried about the state of my baseball bat. I already had to get out of my vault suit as it was pouring down with rain on my way back to the cal-de-sac house. The wardrobe had this dress, it’s quite nice if not worn from 200 years of sitting in the dark and cold. But I still feel… naked without my vault suit. It’s not that the vault suits are comfy, to be honest they can be kinda uncomfortable, but, well, you know you get use to it and I guess nothing else feels like me now. I just hope it doesn’t smell once it’s dry.

Oh, oh, oh I forgot to mention me and Mr Patches got the fridge and oven working in this place that's actually how I was able to grill these ugh roaches I got from the sewer. Mr Patches figured out there was a manual in one of the kitchen cupboards. When we took a loot it was simple enough to get them working. Since there is no main lines I hooked them up to a fission battery I found while I was scavenging, now of course it wont last forever but if I can find more batteries then it means I can cook and store anything just like Ronald and Sierra. I have to say that considering the rampant consumerism of pre-war america I am surprised they actually made thing so durable.

On the note of Sierra and Ronald though, well Ronald actually had a lead of where I might be able to find information about dad and sis. He said he knows about two settlements of people that may have seen him, one he advised against going to, a place called evergreen mills. According to Ronald its quite the trading hub and in pretty secure, its not to far away from here, but, well there not so nice to strangers and apparently it’s more of an invite only kind of place.

The other is to the north a ways from Girdershade, big tower I have actually seen on the horizon a couple of times. He didn’t know that much about it, just that the people there are a lot less volatile than those at Evergreen Mills, so he suggested I start there. I don’t know if I should take him at his word and not go to the Mills first despite how close I am, but ether way it means me and Mr Patches are a little closer, isn't that right Mr Patches?……….. *audible silence* ………

*sighs deeply* I know Mr Patches I shouldn’t get ahead of myself, but it’s better than nothing right? It has to be. For now though, this house is my, our new home. Maybe I should move the sofa downstairs in front of the door for the night? Will that be enough to stop people from entering? Maybe I should set up traps like in the comics, maybe, I don’t know how yet but, well if this is going to be our home, well, we should be able to keep people out right?

For now I will just move the couch, maybe then I can get a good night sleep, I didn’t sleep at all last night, as me and Sierra stayed up talking, obviously the conversation continuously kept returning to Nuka-Cola but, you know, it was nice. It reminded me of doing the same with Amata when she came for sleepovers, not because the Nuka-Cola I mean, but just the talking for hours on end. It, does make me just a little home sick though come to think of it... Oh well, I better go et moving that couch

[that-strange-vault-lady]

Entry: 004

Date: Mon, 08.19.2277

Ugh it’s only been a day or so but I already feel starved, I suppose today has been, demanding, so that’s probably why. I never was the most physically enduring person, I mean sure I could swing a bat like nobody else back in the vault, but I still could barely make it around the bases without keeling over in a hyperventilating mess. Well, ok, that’s a little bit of an exaggeration but you get the point right?

At least Sierra gave me a free bottle of Nuka Cola. To be honest, I was just happy that they didn’t shoot at me the moment they saw me like those other people did. Ronald ans Sierra seem like good people, all be it a little, odd. I suppose in many ways there no more weird than some of the people back in the vault, like Alicia with her obsession of trying to make those mutant cockroaches from the lower levels actually taste good. Yuck I still remember when she put what she called poached roach with a sugar bomb glaze on the menu, makes me queezy to even think about it. Although she did use to make the best mac n cheese.

Sierra said they call this little place of there's Girdershade, apparently other than her and Ronald, just a road away there is a small shack where a man named Haskins lives. Being this far north they don’t get many visitors so they where actually quite happy to see a friendly face. Sierra is a little, qwerky though, she seems to think she is the president of some Nuka-Cola fanclub, she does however have an impressive collection of the stuff. Honestly I never knew that Nuka-Cola came in so many flavours.

Back in 101 the bulk of the Nuka-Cola supply ran out long before I was born, there was only the odd few left for me to even try, like the one that Amanda gave me for my 16th birthday. I did however see it plenty in the magazines we had, advertisements for America's number 1 beverage, but the advertisements only ever showed the normal flavour. Who knew there where so many, from cherry to grape to a glowing blue kind called Quantum. Apparently this quantum stuff is really rare to find though, Sierra said that if I find any she will pay me or trade me supplies for it.

On top of that Ronald said that he will pay me to clear out some pests. Being out in the middle of nowhere they supposedly have problems with bugs, the ones he wants me to deal with are called bloat-flies, they are a similar size to the roaches I already know about, but they fly around and cause havoc to there crops. I just, well I just hope *sigh’s*.

Well ok I have been pushing it aside, talking about Nuka-Cola was a great way to take my mind off of it but, I’m, I’m just not use to this, to, having to kill even if its bugs. On the way here, I was attacked by a pack of dogs. I *sighs*, I thought they would be nice, I mean all I knew of dogs where from the books and the stories and the holo-movies. Man’s best friend, a faithful companion, loyal, doting and like belly rubs.

I… I can see the bite marks they left in my baseball bat, it’s it’s looking a little worse for wear now, just like me I guess. I, I tried to run away but they kept coming, the, the teeth, the biting, the barking, I still hear it when I close my eyes. They, they where going to eat me, so, I just started swinging, and swinging, and swinging, and swinging until, until it stopped. I tried to clean off the blood from my vaultsuit but, just like old lady Palmer told me once when a baseball players suit got muddied by a cut, only a good soak in abraxo get’s those stains out.

Is the whole world like this? Sierra and Ronald seem nice but, the whole world seems, warped. Nothing, not one damn thing is like vault-tec said it would be in the manuals, it never was in the vault and up here? Up here is another thing entirely. May, maybe someday I will get use to this, maybe someday nothing will surprise me, maybe at some point I will be just like Ronald and sierra, settled down in the middle of nowhere, finding something, just something, to be obsessed enough about, that life feels even remotely worth continuing. I hope, I hope so. Until then, all I have is my will to stay alive, an-and you Mr Patches of course, at least I have you.

[that-strange-vault-lady]

Entry: 003

Date: Sun, 08.18.2277

God damn my leg hurts, I used a stimpack on it which seems to have stopped the bleeding, I also wrapped it with some bandages to keep it from getting infected, but it still hurts so much. Who where those people? Why did they shoot at me, I was just asking for help, I was hoping they would have food or clean water, but the moment I shouted over they opened fire. The bullet hit me in the fleshy part of the thigh and seems to have gone straight through so at least I don’t have to go digging around for the slug, hell I saw dad do that once on a member of vault security after a misfire accident and it did not look good.

The surface has been, insane, to say the least. I didn’t expect to find anyone still alive up here, but the sheer amount of gunfire I have heard on the horizon alone leads me to believe otherwise. I was also attacked by this group of women. They came barrelling at me like they where possessed, eyes solid black, skin flaky and there bellies, well, there bellies where swollen almost like they where pregnant. I, I tried to talk to them but eventually one jumped on top of me, there teeth gnashing like they where trying to bite me, I had to, I grabbed my bat and just struck them. They fell backwards and hit there head on a rock. I didn’t even mean to hurt them, I ran away so I don’t even know what happened to them, I, I’m just trying not to think about it. Eventually I wound up loosing them by hiding in a farm house. That’s where I found this rifle, it seems to take these urm, let me see, that’s it .32 cartridges. It honestly seems in pretty bad shape, like it’s about to fall apart at a moments notice but, well, it’s better than nothing right? Plus there was an all be it half empty box of ammo for it in there too, so beggars can’t be choosers, is that the phrase? I think so.

It was shortly after that actually when I spotted those people who shot at me. I ran as fast as I could, trying to duck behind rocks as I made my getaway but I still ended up getting hit. N The gunfire actually attracted the attention of some random robot, from a distance, it seemed like some sort of RobCo eyebot, to think something like that must have been operating for more than 200 years, it’s pretty crazy to imagine anything lasting that long. It almost seems like a shame that the poor thing was shot down after so long, it did give me the opportunity to hobble away though, so I can’t complain too hard.

It was a little while after that I wound up here at this cal-de-sac when I actually noticed my pipboy making a beeping sound. It was beeping to tell me it had finished connecting to some sort of database and that the GPS function had be initialised. I read about this in a book once, the satellites that run the global positioning system are in near earth orbit it said, so seems they also survived the bombs unscathed, could Vault-Tec have planned for this? Maybe that’s one of the reasons why they gave us all these pipboys?

According to my pipboy I’m at a place called Jury Street in the D.C. area, I did actually find a house that was still standing, the rest of the houses around here are ether destroyed, half destroyed or obviously falling apart, but this one still seems structurally sound, so for now at least me and Mr. Patches are hold up here, say, hello Mr. Patches, oh, right you cant actually speak since you are a teddy bear and all. This place even has a nice bed, but, well I do worry whether I will get the chance to use it. With those, women out there and the people who shot at me, who knows what would happen if I just go to sleep tonight expecting to be safe.

Having walls around me does make me feel oddly comforted though. I guess being outside, nothing but the air and sky to all sides of you, well, it will take some getting use to. It’s not at all how I imagined it would be, my first time seeing the outside of the vault I mean. I thought that some day maybe we would all leave the vault together, just like the manuals say, slowly use the resources of the vault to rebuild civilisation, but, well, that was very naive of me. Even then though, I feel like I’m trying to keep calm, trying to keep myself together, but, in reality, I’m terrified. I thought when I left that cave a level of that fear would go away, but, everything I’ve seen today has only made that fear worse. At least I have you here though right Mr. Patches? So I’m not alone, I just have to keep telling myself that, I’m not, alone.

[that-strange-vault-lady]

Entry: 002

Date: Sat, 08.17.2277

I’m alone. She, she was here and now she’s gone, did I do something? Why? Why would she leave, was I just that much of a dead weight. We, got out of the vault, we left I mean, when we got outside the vault door we where in a cave and then we left and it was, god, it was so bright and then, I can’t remember after that, when I woke up, Amanda was, she was gone.

If there where tracks in the dirt I didn’t see any so I just, well, I retreated back into the cave. I, I haven't really been able to bring myself to leave the cave since, I just find myself pacing up and down this same 20 30 or so feet of cave feeling, lost. First it was dad, now, Amanda, I mean what do I even do now? Hell I don’t even know if it’s safe out there, I wasn’t built for this, I mean sure I can swing a bat, but I was never physically fit, running a single lap around the baseball court would have me in sweats. I’m not exactly an environmentalist ether, I have no idea what to expect up there, leaving this cave with Amanda felt, safe, because I had her there with me but now.

Plus I mean we where always told that the surface was radioactively contaminated, fuck, what if my clothes are already contaminated? Shit shit shit, *takes a deep breath* calm Bella, calm, just breath *breathes deeply* I can’t understand why dad would want to leave the vault in the first place, we are born in the vault, we die in the vault, that’s always been the way. Sure things where not always great down there but we where safe, we had food and water and structure, *sighs* it’s too late now though, hell even if I was to bang on the door they wouldn’t let me back in. To be honest it doesn’t look like I would be the first person to try ether.

The cave is littered with the skeletal remains of people, how terrified they must have been. To even contemplate what it must have been like, the world behind them burning to ash in the white hot flash of nuclear hellfire, and the path to there salvation, bared by a four yards thick door of lead lined tungsten, trapped between life and death. There desperate scratches still marring the outside of the vault door, the bones of what appear to be both adults and children, It’s a horrifying image, especially when I find myself feeling not unlike them now.

Outside, out there, on the surface. I know Amanda and dad are out there somewhere, but the idea of being out there alone, by myself, I will admit I’m really scared. Not to mention all of the logistical questions, where do I get food from now? What about clean water? Is there even any clean water on the surface? In the vault we had processors and filters, out there you may have what? A puddle? Not to mention I have no idea where out there even is, america is a big place, we learned all about it in school growing up, for all I know vault 101 could be located in the middle of a desert, not a drop of water contaminated or not for miles.

Then there is medicine, what about my hormones? My implant will only last so long. What if I get sick? What if I cut myself on something by accident or sprain my ankle? It’s, it’s not as simple aswell dad and Amanda went out there so should I. I’m not like them, Amanda is tech smart, dad was a doctor of course, but I was what? A therapist? How is that useful out here? What am I suppose to counsel the soil into growing food and providing water? *sighs deeply*

Maybe I’m over thinking all of this, maybe, maybe things will be ok. There has to be a reason why dad came up here right? Or why else would he leave. Amanda must have known and that’s why she left too, maybe she has already caught up with Dad and, and maybe they just expected me to nock on the vault door and ask to be let back in, but no, I won’t do that, I’m not going back, I can’t I can’t go back, not now. *sighs* I wish Amata left too, she wouldn’t have left me alone. Even when she got with Butch she always took my side, honestly she is the best friend a girl like me could ask for, I, I will miss her.

I can see the light from outside is starting to fade, and according to my pip-boy it’s getting late so I guess, maybe I will just stay put for tonight, maybe by the morning I can work up the courage to leave, formulate some sort of plan. It just worries me though, every day, hell every minute that I waste sitting here, well, it takes dad and Amanda further away from me. We always had our differences, especially when mom came up in conversation, and I know it’s only been a day, but, I miss them.

[that-strange-vault-lady]

Entry: 001

Date: Fri, 08.16.2277

Hello? *coughing noises* hello? Testing testing one two, three.. oh hey, look it’s working, it’s actually typing what I say. *clears throat* Hello my name is Bella Miller and I am vault 101’s councillor, no, too formal. I am currently using a urm, a program that turns anything I say into text so that I can keep a journal. Honestly I know the weirdest time possible to start making a journal, but, I, I just needed to get what was in my head out, does that make sense? God I can council others, I can walk other people through there problem's and how to resolve them, but here I am floundering like a fish to express the most basic things.

Well, urm, dad, he left. I don’t know how, nobody does, we all thought the main vault door was locked shut, but somehow he got out and well, left, me and Amanda behind. Fuck, I mean what was he thinking, did he really think that the Overseer wouldn’t loose his shit the moment he escaped the vault. Was he that naive to think somehow everything would be ok? That me and Amanda would just go on living our lives without him like he never even existed?

They… they beat poor Jonas to death, Amata was there to witness it. When she realised that her father had gone crazy she came straight here and honestly if she didn’t I would still be locked in my apartment and probably next on his hit list. Honestly I can only hope that Amanda is ok, she is smart though, really smart, she was always more tech savvy than me, I’m sure she must have gotten to the maintenance tunnels by now, that’s where I am now, but I’m all the way down on the apartment level. If Amanda is ok, no doubt she must be heading toward the labs on the control level, I have to meet her there.

Luckily I grabbed my baseball bat, and Mr Patches of course, I couldn’t leave him behind. But my bat should come in handy if I run into more cockroaches, all those years playing baseball finally coming in handy I guess. The Overseer turned the entire vault onto emergency mode, so the lights are out and most of the doors are locked. But the noise and the darkness has attracted all the bugs from the cistern level and now there all over the place, making there way through the vents.

I actually ran into Buch of all people on the way here, he had gotten out of his apartment too, he was asking for help as some roaches had gotten into his and his mothers place. I honestly didn’t know he could be that vulnerable, what with his gang the tunnel snakes and all, I guess I can see why Amata and him hooked up, maybe behind closed doors he isn’t as bad as he makes out he is. Ether way he was absolutely terrified, so I gave him a pep talk and helped him into helping me kill off the roaches, it was, weird to see him in a different light, he never has come to me for counselling afterall.

Honestly I’m glad I helped him out though despite how shitty he has been to me growing up, as he’s the one who showed me how to get into these maintenance tunnels. If he didn’t well, let’s just say this, I saw a few members of vault security walking by the maintenance hatch with guns, and I am sure everyone has heard the shots. My bat might help with bugs, but no matter how fast I can swing, it won’t beat a gun. Now only if I actually knew my way through these tunnels, they snake around like a maze *sighs* at this rate Amanda will have made it all the way there before I even get off of this level.

I just can’t believe any of this is happening, it’s, it’s hard to wrap my head around, I guess that’s why I wanted to make this journal, to talk my thoughts through to myself in a way. Anyway stop it Bella, get your head in the game, focus and get moving, ok, I guess I will end this entry here. Hell you know what, I was never the religious type like others down here in the vault, but if there is a god, please wish me luck, or whatever you would call it, I could really use it right about now.