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did you know telling a girl to calm down is like baptizing a cat
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i was texting someone and i looked over at my step mom and said 'am i texting to fast?' and she said 'yes it sounds like a speed dial pdpdpdpdpdpd'
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my sister: *almost throws a lamp at my mom*
my mom: what are you trying to say "im going to throw a lamp at you and tell you to lighten tf up"
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me: *looks at my sister* what are you eating
my sister: a plastic straw
me:
me: okay *turns back around*
my sister: wait say that again
me: *turns back around* what are you eating
my sister: you
me: nO
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