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the-chroniclers-journal · 3 months ago

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The Vessel of Void (One-Shot)

You would think Casrus would be numb to the pain of loss and death and at one time he did used to be. He used to hide behind the facade of a ruthless killer, locking away his emotions to not feel the pain of remorse. But locking everything away only causes you to break yourself into a million fragments. And he hated himself for all of that, and he hated himself for his lack of remorse he had long since had for Shades.

Casrus hid himself away, he could never forgive himself for everything he had done. He felt like he didn’t deserve forgiveness. Even if he knew deep inside he was just in a dark place at the time. He didn’t know better than to do what he did. What would you do if you died an excruciatingly painful death only to find yourself alive and well again but left as a Shadow of your former self.

How would you react if a crystalline piece of an elder god took root in your chest like a parasite that was slowly poisoning you. The only thing keeping the crystal at bay being the god it belongs to taking control of you at times. Casrus was The Vessel of Void but this wasn’t something he would go around and tell people. Void was still seen as a malevolent god because of his place in Hostredea’s History. Even if Void was the sole overseer of the malevolent souls of Hostredea’s Underworld.

Voidists knew better than the greater public of Hostredea, But the Voidists were outcasts, seen as worshippers of an insatiable Evil. Demonized by all other creatures. Void was harmless really but most people wouldn’t listen to you if you said as such. And Casrus both being a Voidist since he had become a Shade and being a vessel of the god didn’t often feel safe. And if he felt as if control was slipping he would run off into the woods…

***

It was a dark and dreary night, a blood moon pouring over a torrential downfall. Arialia had just died, Casrus had killed Ebonwood, and he wasn’t coping well, and his stress wasn’t helping the ever encroaching crystal in his chest. He had run off into the deepest parts of the woods, trying desperately to run from his pain and suffering. His tears were hot on his face and he just wanted everything to disappear.

He ran until he was lost, ran until he collapsed from the weight of everything. And he knew he was in a dangerous place but he didn’t care. His chest was burning with the pain of the ever spreading crystal and his breathing was hard and painful.

“Gods just fucking end me I don’t want to be here anymore, I’ve lost everything, ruined everything, I don’t deserve to live anymore. I just want everything to just go away and disappear.” he punched the ground, his tears burning against his skin.

He curled up on the forest floor, pain burning through every cell in his body. He had been suffering in silence for ages, constantly trying to not collapse under the weight of everything that had ever happened to him, suffering from the pain of something he knew couldn’t be cured. He had only ever heard of stories of Crystalized Chaos taking root inside of people and that was living people, for ages Mystica Doctors had been trying to find a cure for it, and even then those were incredibly small Chaos Crystals, not anything near the diameter of the one in Casrus’s Chest. And also those were living hosts; the Crystals could be removed if they hadn’t taken root too deeply. But Casrus’s life depended on the Crystal; it couldn't so easily be removed. Even if it was technically poisoning him.

Casrus didn’t know what to do, he hid himself under his wings to protect himself somewhat from the storm around him, and it felt… kind of comforting. But he couldn’t really put his finger on why, it was some long forgotten memory probably locked away because of some sort of trauma associated with it. But what he did know is that it reminded him of something from when he was really young.

Whatever memory this was was calming him down a bit. He stayed lying down on the forest floor under the comforting protection of his wings. He was tired a lot had happened and he was starting to drift off into a dreamless slumber.

He was asleep for a long time and at some point his wings faded back into their usual nothingness. But in a half asleep state he noticed a presence next to him and whoever it was was protecting him with their wings. He thought nothing of it, just thought it was an illusion of a half asleep stupor and drifted the rest of the way off to sleep once again. But the presence kept a silent vigil over the young Angel-Shade.

***

Casrus awoke to the light of daybreak and the smell of cooked Chaos Fruit which was plentiful in this part of the forest. For a brief moment Casrus forgot he was out in the woods… he thought he was back at the mansion somehow since there would be no other explanation for the smell of food. He was bleary-eyed for a moment while his eyes adjusted to the early daylight. And he was about to say morning allie- before he realized where he was, he looked in the direction the smell of the food was coming from and he sat in stunned silence as he tried to process exactly who he saw in front of him.

It was another Angel one all too familiar to Casrus. But that was impossible; he had been dead for a hundred years. The Angel didn’t seem to have noticed Casrus was awake yet he wasn’t exactly facing his direction. He seemed to be minding himself preparing the food for the two of them.

“You…” Casrus finally managed to say.

The Angel’s grey and white wings fluttered, he seemed to have been startled by the sudden realization that Casrus was awake. He stayed facing away from the Angel-Shade for a moment as if trying to figure out the best way to approach the situation. Casrus could see him taking a deep breath before he stood up and turned to walk over to him.

Casrus’s Face fell, this wasn’t some kind of hallucination. This Angel was who Casrus had thought it was… but it was one of his worst fears Realized.

“Casrus please don’t freak out…” the Angel said walking cautiously towards Casrus who backed up against a tree behind him.

“Iaron but… why… why are you here.”

“Casrus, please calm down. I can explain. Though I think you already know why. Since it’s the Same reason you are still around.”

“But…”

“Casrus I know I’m sorry but please calm down.”

“Why in the name of Void do you think I can calm down?”

“Casrus, Please, just listen.”

“Why Would I Listen!? You Died A Hundred Years Ago! And Now I’m Learning You’re A Half-Formed Shade!”

“I’m sorry. About everything.”

“Iaron I don’t think you realize how goddamn much this hurts! You could have come and found me ages ago, why now!?”

“Casrus you know I couldn’t.”

“DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING HARD IT WAS TO TRY TO FILL YOUR SHOES!?”

“I do genuinely.”

“Regardless, you didn’t answer me!? Why now!?”

“I didn’t even know you were out here in the first place. I found you passed out on the ground. It’s less I found you and more you found me…”

Casrus was trying not to cry; this felt like a sick joke to him.

“You could have come and found me ages ago, Iaron… I would have liked to know you were okay… maybe if you were around I wouldn’t have made the stupid mistakes I made.”

“Casrus when I heard you were killed… I didn’t really think you would still be around…”

“I guess I wouldn’t have thought that either…”

Iaron came and sat down next to Casrus and just put his head into his hands. “I feel like I shouldn’t have stuck around last night… I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot… you were just trying to be a good big brother…”

“I’m not a good big brother if I brought back my younger brother’s trauma about my death by sticking around.”

“Iaron, I do know there was no way you would be able to come back while you were a Shade… Dad wasn’t exactly quiet about the fact that he didn’t like us… he probably would have just tried to kill you because he thought you were going to hurt the rest of us…”

“I know… I… did still watch you from a Distance you and our sisters… Dad treated you really poorly after I died…”

“He always did see me as a Weak link.”

“I know. I remember mom had to force dad to let them keep you when you were born with the Defect.”

“Yeah… Don’t remind me…”

“Mom loved you, and Dad grew to tolerate you. But we both know how he actually saw you.”

“Yeah…”

“I can’t believe we both ended up this way…” Iaron said looking down at his heavily scarred hands.

“Yeah… Shambling corpses and disgraces to our family’s name just by the nature of existing as Shades.”

“Anyways we should probably eat… I can feel how low your Void energy is.”

“Why are you out here?” Casrus asked.

“I didn’t know where else to go… this was always our place of Peace… not that I think you remember… you were really little.”

“That’s why… oh…” Casrus finally remembered what he was forgetting when he was drifting off to sleep.

He remembered that he and Iaron would sometimes sneak out of the mansion late at night and sneak off to surface Hostredea. One night they got lost and found the place where they were currently sitting. The two of them played around for hours eating the Chaos fruits that grew in abundance here. It got really late and they couldn’t find their way back to the portal to The Realm Of The Gods and a storm started brewing. They were out in the open; they had no place to take cover so they hunkered down under a tree and shielded one another from the rain with their wings until they drifted off to sleep. Once morning came the two of them would rush back off to the castle.

But they would never forget about that place and they would come back many times as they got older. Eventually they even snuck supplies out to the place and built their own sort of secret clubhouse. Part of Casrus wondered if what they had built was still here. He hadn’t come back since Iaron had died. He had pushed the memories of the place out of his mind because they were too painful for him. But now he was glad to have them back…

It was bittersweet honestly. It almost felt as if he had run to this place on instinct without realizing it. He probably had.

Iaron was just staring at Casrus. He had probably realized what Casrus had remembered.

“I know you’re thinking about it… and it is still here. I’ve had to fix it up over the years though… I mean I do live there after all. Anyways, let’s eat. The food is getting cold.”

END

#work: The Vessel of Void #high fantasy #character tag: Casrus #world tag: Hostredea #original writing #writers on tumblr #luna writes

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