the-cookie-of-doom

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courtesy of my roommate

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a heem heem………………………………sshasagjkrhf………… ouhg……..

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© Shuyichnyia [1, 2] preview

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before you stab someone: THINK!

how can you make it Tender?

how can you make it Homoerotic?

how can you make it Implicitly intimate?

how can you make it Noticeably a metaphor for sex?

how can you make it Kind of gay?

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the type of ship i fuck with the most

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i’m sick and tired of people pretending that burger isn’t delicious just to clown on americans. america deserves the ridicule, but why’s burger catching strays? burger did nothing wrong

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me, covered in my blorbo’s blood after I wrote a fic about them

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Fan: Your latest song was so fucking gay dude

Wik: Ah shit, better tell my boyfriend then, he helped me write it

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Was so excited to come home and shower after work, but the other brother who ✨ molested me ✨ is here for some fucking reason, so instead I will be putting on more clothes!

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i think its so funny that relationship milestones are only shared and acknowledged when the relationship in question is romantic. like if me and my bestie start dating we gotta tell everybody and their mama but nobody ever wants to hear about how over the course of several months me and my friends from the internet have co-authored beautiful erotica together sometimes beginning as early in the day as 7am EST

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what? oh sweetheart no, you're not weirding me out at all. you're weirding me in. keep talking, freak

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guy who is stuck in a timeloop but is too socially anxious to bring it up to anybody or change their routine just in case it turns out they're mistaken. like yeah you're pretty sure that it's been november 3rd for two weeks now but idk maybe that's the depression talking. it's fine.

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Palpatine: My boy, I'm afraid to report that Master Kenobi is very likely sleeping with your wife.

Anakin, who knows for a fact that Obi-Wan is sleeping with his Commander, a good chunk of Ghost company, the Organas and Quinlan Vos: ...where is he finding the fucking time???

Palpatine, oblivious: Oh I've heard from some very reliable sources that-

Anakin: *pulls out a spexcel spreadsheet, the 3rd System Army's shared spoogle calender and a calculator*

Anakin: Your Excellency. That's just. not logistically possible.

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you found it disgusting and immoral i found it sexy and arousing that’s why i’m happier than you

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ok note to self i gotta leave the house regularly so that i dont feel like im slowly transforming into an evil fucking shadow clone of myself