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Lately I've realized since I've been young I've been driven by this need to be loved, yet I can't recall what that feels like or the last time I've felt it. I know I have, I have loving friends and I've loved so much that it hurt. But right now, in this moment? I'm unable to remember that feeling. I'm able to recall anger, sadness, but not love and happiness. Why is that? Why are positive emotions so fleeting for me, while the negative ones stick to me like gum on my shoe.

Maybe it's the fact that the feeling is temporary that makes love so precious. If I could recall feeling loved at any given moment, I'd do it all the time if I could. Meanwhile, the stickiness of negative emotions. They stick with you because they were lessons that you mustn't forget or else everything you went through would've been for nought. It's frustrating though, when you have so many lessons stuck to you. It weighs you down, makes you feel icky, and people will try to convince you to let it go as if you were the one sticking to your lessons instead of the other way around. Why is that? If I could, I would've let go by now, why is that so difficult for people to understand?

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All life has taught me is how I don't want to be loved. Yet, why do I still try to ask to be loved?

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Is this heaven? Or is it a white woman's instagram???

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I don't know what love is, I just know what it isn't. And I want so desperately for someone to teach me, but how am I suppose to know if you're a good teacher?

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Outfit of the day ^_^ thrifted this GORGEOUS dress at a local antique store 💕

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Impsona render for my bestie 😋

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My oc Charlotte Goetia dressed as Verosika for Halloween uwu

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Big titty goth pumpkin witch anyone? My OC Dahlia :3

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Sometimes your excuse to keep going despite the mental illness is just that you learned a new thing and want to explore that more. That can be just enough sometimes.

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Endou Yuu versus the cosmic unknown 

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ezreal hdgdcvdtbdbhhbfvevyvt

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mr heartsteel aphelios why is your hairstyle so pretty but so hard to draw

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I made an OC for The Amazing Digital Circus and I love her, her name is Poppy 🥲

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I should start using tumblr again. Render study!

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Shouting this at all the tumblr porn bots that have been following me

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Simu Liu then:

Simu Liu now:

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Cleric vs Necromancer (plus bird) Freindship tropes Patreon