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Your honour, I admit that I do have a superiority complex over not watching Disney "live action" remakes, but in my defense, I am right

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I'm not really a HanLuke shipper but I can imagine them hooking up early in their friendship & then Han later after various revelations having a personal crisis over whether or not it's weird to have sex with both halves of a set of twins

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Hey kid you want a job?

Great get online and go to a job board. Indeed, Linkedin whatever. Now you're gonna search for a role that's in your city, fits your qualifications, and doesn't seem like a bad time.

See that easy apply button? Don't hit it they just throw those in the trash. Now you're gonna want to go to the company's website and check their careers page.

Oh? That job doesn't exist anymore. Cool go back to the job board and find another one.

Great you found another job, you're on the company's career page and the job exists!! So you're going to need to make an account on the career page website. They're using Workday, the same site as the last job you applied for? Who cares? You need to make another account for THIS job's workday page.

Now you're going to upload your resume. That'll autopopulate about 15 boxes with everything on your resume, except formatted wrong and with tons of errors. So just go through and painstakingly check the dates on all of that and rewrite everything you already laid out in an aesthetically pleasing format on your resume.

Ok time for the cover letter, explain why this specific job and company are deeply important to you. You love their mission statement and wouldn't even laugh if their ceo was gunned down in the street. You'll really want to reiterate the things you just spent the last 20 minutes filling out on the resume section

(Remember to include language from the job description, people who work in HR are lower than dogs and they need patterns or they get confused.) Write about a page, but hey don't sound too desperate or robotic this is where they judge your character!

Maybe add your portfolio site at the end here, who knows if that helps no one has ever clicked mine haha.

Anywayyy time to hit apply! Congrats! You'll see that confirmation email come in and you should be getting the rejection letter in about 2 weeks. Unfortunately your resume didn't have the right buzzwords and the AI auto rejected you :(

Time to start again and try not to kill yourself!

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“Temporary stitches” all stitches are temporary if you have a pair of scissors and aren’t a coward

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mercy seems like a long shot here, so my prayer for inauguration day 2025: may they be incompetent. may they just be really bad at implementation. may their egos choke their effectiveness. may they drown themselves week by week with infighting and selfish posturing. may they be easily distracted. may the very governors and senators and agencies and religious leaders that the new administration expects to be friendly force endless stalemates to preserve their own power. may every delay turn into a three ring blame circus so chaotic that no one remembers what they were doing. may the good and necessary parts of government be too boring to draw attention and keep running quietly in the background. may the next four years be full of sound and fury and signify nothing.

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Brevity is the soul of wit & this was so damn creative

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Reminder for when he “saves” it. He was the one who wanted this, and now he gets to be the hero and win favour with young constituents. Don’t give him the credit for fixing his own problem.

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Chair Stop-Motion 🪑💨 Made with 444 pictures taken over 10 days

Learn from me: https://kevinparry.tv/learn

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Idgaf if you don't want to write essays for school. I don't care if you don't want to write corporate emails yourself. I don't care if you can't draw well, I don't care if you can't write well, I don't care if you just really really want to talk to your favorite fictional character but don't want to RP with a real person because you have social anxiety or whatever

If you're still regularly using generative ai, chatgpt or midjourney or character.ai or literally whatever the fuck, im personally blaming you when my utility prices start going up.

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Frankenstein AU where the Creature, upon returning to seek terrible vengeance on Victor after realizing the tragic existence he's been forced into, takes a few days extra to actually, you know, observe Victor and see what he's like, to learn how best to enact his revenge. And he comes to the conclusion that, "Actually, I don't need to do anything, this idiot's going to ruin his own life without any outside interference, and I kinda wanna see how he does it."

Victor then proceeds to continue with his previously demonstrated levels of making good life choices, while now also constantly looking over his shoulder for his Creation and having the vapors at every little thing because oh noes, it's The Monster come back to Get Him-!!!

The Creature: (watching all this unfold through binoculars like it's a soap opera while sneaking in to help himself to Victor's larder and library when he feels like it, and also occasionally hiding small but vital objects, like Victor's keys or shaving blade, in weird spots in the house) Wow, it really does take an incredibly smart man to be quite this stupid, doesn't it?

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nosferatu? no. tuferatu. no es mi problema.

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Calvin's parents decide to take a Hawai'ian vacation. They're not sure how much of it their son will tolerate but they would like to do at least a few things that involve sandy beaches and scenic cycling routes. They are therefore pleased when Calvin seems to make friends with a local girl about his own age and the two of them run off to play

Now, from Calvin's point of view what has happened is that he spotted actual aliens, and starts trying to bring this to the attention if the adults. But the tourists are like, "that's nice, go shoot 'em with your water gun, have a good time," and the locals are like, "yeah, they're an older couple who decided to retire here. Happens all the time." Eventually, it becomes clear that Spaceman Spiff is going to have to handle it himself.

From Lilo's point of view, Jumba and Pleakley are her gay uncles, do you mind? Calvin does mind, and so the two of them spend the rest of the afternoon terrorizing Kaua'i in the effort to destroy one another while the aliens alternate between bailing them out of trouble and attempting to escape.

Hobbes and Stitch, meanwhile, are calmly playing checkers and drinking non-alcoholic margaritas.