the-fifty-seven-precepts-of-zote

[the-fifty-seven-precepts-of-zote]

Precept Forty: “Obey No Law But Your Own.”

Precept Fifty-Five: “Bow to No-one”

This person is trying to impose the teachings of the Fifty-Seven Precepts of Zote onto other blogs, thus asking them to obey a law that is not their own, forcing them to violate Precept Forty. In addition, if they choose to listen, they also violate Precept Fifty-Five by bowing to the teachings of Zote.

You presume to know my own precepts better than myself, cur? Have you forgotten Precept Fifty-Seven? Allow me to recite it for you:

"Precept Fifty-Seven: 'Obey All Precepts'. Most importantly, you must commit all of these Precepts to memory and obey them all unfailingly. Including this one!"

Never presume yourself above me. I am your superior, and as per Precept Fourteen, your superior is to be respected. Make this mistake again, and you will not be spared the wrath of my blade, Life Ender!

[the-fifty-seven-precepts-of-zote]

"Precept Fifty-One: 'Nothing is Harmless'. Given the chance, everything in this world will hurt you. Friends, foes, monsters, uneven paths. Be suspicious of them all."

Take notes: this woman foolishly assumed that because this fly was smaller than her, it could not harm her. This was incorrect, and it speaks to an underdeveloped mindset. You are lucky this lapse in judgment only resulted in a mild pain!

If you offer the meek a helping hand, they will only use it to pull you down. Trust no one.

"Precept Thirty-Seven: 'Borrow, But Do Not Lend'. If you lend and are repayed, you gain nothing. If you borrow but do not repay, you gain everything."

In lending the fly your moisture, you lost something you previously had, and left open an opportunity for the fly to deliver a blow that could have killed you had it struck your weak point. It does not matter that you had no use for what you gave - you gained nothing from this transaction, meanwhile the fly gained everything. The fly understands my precepts better than you do! Clearly, you are not worthy of my teachings. Continue studying "The Fifty-Seven Precepts of Zote," and I may consider revisiting this evaluation.

Me to the gentle fly that alights upon mine sweaty arm: yes my child. The heat dissipating function of this bead of moisture and electrolytes has been fulfilled. I impart to you my elixir, from mine own body, that which I bequeath back to the earth in your form

The fly starts to bite: oh betrayal! Oh mine hubris! What a fools twas I to provide, to bestow my graces upon the meek, to provide charity for that in need!

The bite is not that bad: we must truly remember that sometimes, providing for the less fortunate requires a moticum of sacrifice, some upheaval of our own hedonist existence

[the-fifty-seven-precepts-of-zote]

"Precept Forty-Two: 'Spend Geo When You Have It'. Some will cling onto their Geo, even taking it into the dirt with them when they die. It is better to spend it when you can, so you can enjoy various things in life."

It is not better to make a toast yourself than to buy one at the store. If you have the money to afford something, spend it! There is no reason to waste time and energy making it yourself, when the energy you save may save your shell when you truly need it.

"Precept Twenty-Seven: 'Eat As Much As You Can'. When having a meal, eat as much as you possibly can. This gives you extra energy, and means you can eat less frequently."

It is true that a toast in the hand is better than a toast on the floor. However, a toast both in the hand and on the floor is better than both of those things. The more toast you eat, the more energy you will have, so two toasts are better than one. Just keep Precept Thirty-One in mind when eating food off of the floor - make sure to wipe it off so you don't end up getting sick.

better a toast in hand. than a toast on the floor.

[the-fifty-seven-precepts-of-zote]

"Precept Eight: 'Travel Alone'. You can rely on nobody, and nobody will always be loyal. Therefore, nobody should be your constant companion."

Note the last sentence, and do better.

whats ur favorite off of constant companions?? i seriously cant stop listening to object of affection

it's really really tough but i feel like right now it's either Dyad or Breeze Blows. Dyad slightly taking the lead. there's something about the way that the line "god i'm desperate to hear your voice" is delivered in that song that gets me teary eyed if i'm listening to it too closely LMAO

also the bridge goes fucking crazy and of course i appreciate the tally hall reference snuck in there as a huge fan of Never Meant to Know (famously)

[the-fifty-seven-precepts-of-zote]

"Precept Twenty: 'Speak Only the Truth'. When speaking to someone, it is courteous and also efficient to speak truthfully. Beware though that speaking truthfully may make you enemies. This is something you'll have to bear."

Sometimes an individual's deceit lies not in what they say, but rather what they do not. Those who are particularly masterful with words can say things without ever speaking them, planting the idea in your head without anyone knowing. For example, you may not have realized it, but this person was actually saying that they are a victim of baseless accusation, even though they never said these words. Make sure to follow precept forty-one to combat this.

warm welcome back

[the-fifty-seven-precepts-of-zote]

This post is a perfect demonstration of Precept Forty: "Obey No Law But Your Own" - "Laws written by others may inconvenience you or be a burden. Let your own desires be the only law." Yet more proof that my fifty-seven precepts are the only path to victory, and must be obeyed. You could all learn from this example.

"Because I said so" straight up isn't as good an answer as you think it is.

[the-fifty-seven-precepts-of-zote]

"Precept Five: 'Strength Beats Strength'. Is your opponent strong? No matter! Simply overcome their strength with even more strength, and they'll soon be defeated."

This person seems to think battles can be won with "tactics," or by "outsmarting" your opponent. This is not so. Everyone knows Freddy Fazbug is stronger than Markiflyer - therefore he wins in a fight.

You might think that the LA gangs have more strength than Freddy Fazbug, but this, too, is not true - for you see, the Los Antlions gangs are not one large foe, but actually many small individual ones.

It is a common deceit tactic for the puny and the feeble to band together to appear as one powerful foe, but as everyone knows, there is no strength in numbers. They are still just as weak as they are individually.

Because his strength is greater than that of a single gang member, Freddy Fazbug can simply vanquish all of them with a single blow each, as per precept fifteen, and therefore win the entire battle.

new rock paper scissors variant i made up

[the-fifty-seven-precepts-of-zote]

"Precept Four: 'Forget Your Past'. The past is painful, and thinking about your past can only bring you misery. Think about something else instead, such as the future, or some food."

This post predicates itself on the poster's memory, which is a terrible flaw.

"Precept Forty-One: 'Learn to Detect Lies'. When others speak, they usually lie. Scrutinise and question them relentlessly until they reveal their deceit."

This person failed to detect this knave's deception, resulting in immediate mockery. Let this be a lesson to all of you.

[the-fifty-seven-precepts-of-zote]

"Precept Fifty-Three: 'Do Not Steal the Desires of Others'. Every creature keeps their desires locked up inside of themselves. If you catch a glimpse of another's desires, resist the urge to claim them as your own. It will not lead you to happiness."

These fellows seem to think that by following in the footsteps of another who has achieved happiness, they may achieve it as well. This will only lead them to disappointment. Everyone must forge their own path to happiness; there are no shortcuts on the path to fulfillment.

[the-fifty-seven-precepts-of-zote]

i love u zote

It's good that you know to respect your superior. Far too many have mistaken me for the common charlatan who spews nothing but drivel, not knowing their mockery would lead them to meet their swift end upon my blade, Life Ender. Keep my teachings in mind, and you, like me, shall face ridicule no more, for they will learn to fear your might like they have mine.

[the-fifty-seven-precepts-of-zote]

"Precept Nineteen: 'If You Try, Succeed'. If you're going to attempt something, make sure you achieve it. If you do not succeed, then you have actually failed! Avoid this at all costs."

This scarab can be seen repeatedly trying to take flight, and subsequently failing despite having fully functional wings.

"Precept Thirty-Eight: 'Beware the Mysterious Force'. A mysterious force bears down on us from above, pushing us downwards. If you spend too long in the air, the force will crush you against the ground and destroy you. Beware!"

This scarab also shows a reckless disregard for the mysterious force, repeatedly subjecting itself to nasty falls through its carelessness.

"Precept Fifty-Seven: 'Obey All Precepts'. Most importantly, you must commit all of these Precepts to memory and obey them all unfailingly. Including this one!"

By failing to adhere to the two previously mentioned precepts, this scarab has also disobeyed precept number fifty-seven. This makes three precepts disobeyed - deeply shameful.

Go my scarab

[the-fifty-seven-precepts-of-zote]

I am Zote the Mighty, a knight of great renown. This webbed site is a nest of feeble, small-minded individuals who are evidently in need of teaching. This is where I come in.

The key is in my personal philosophy, the 'Fifty-Seven Precepts of Zote'. Particularly relevant here is precept fifty-seven: "Obey all precepts."

I will be leaving notes on your posts here, detailing where you have succeeded in following my precepts, and, more importantly, where you have failed. Be wary that my bringing attention to your failures may result in ridicule from your peers - but if this occurs, it is because you deserved it for not following my precepts.

Understand that some notes will be less detailed than others - after all, I am a mighty warrior. I don't have time to lecture every nincompoop who runs their mouth on this webbed site. You should be grateful that I'm even teaching you at all.

Now, to make sure you properly understand, I have listed all fifty-seven of my precepts below. Make sure to read them until you have memorized them.

Precept One: 'Always Win Your Battles'.

Losing a battle earns you nothing and teaches you nothing. Win your battles, or don't engage in them at all!

Precept Two: 'Never Let Them Laugh at You'.

Fools laugh at everything, even at their superiors. But beware, laughter isn't harmless! Laughter spreads like a disease, and soon everyone is laughing at you. You need to strike at the source of this perverse merriment quickly to stop it from spreading.

Precept Three: 'Always Be Rested'.

Fighting and adventuring take their toll on your body. When you rest, your body strengthens and repairs itself. The longer you rest, the stronger you become.

Precept Four: 'Forget Your Past'.

The past is painful, and thinking about your past can only bring you misery. Think about something else instead, such as the future, or some food.

Precept Five: 'Strength Beats Strength'.

Is your opponent strong? No matter! Simply overcome their strength with even more strength, and they'll soon be defeated.

Precept Six: 'Choose Your Own Fate'.

Our elders teach that our fate is chosen for us before we are even born. I disagree.

Precept Seven: 'Mourn Not the Dead'.

When we die, do things get better for us or worse? There's no way to tell, so we shouldn't bother mourning. Or celebrating for that matter.

Precept Eight: 'Travel Alone'.

You can rely on nobody, and nobody will always be loyal. Therefore, nobody should be your constant companion.

Precept Nine: 'Keep Your Home Tidy'.

Your home is where you keep your most prized possession - yourself. Therefore, you should make an effort to keep it nice and clean.

Precept Ten: 'Keep Your Weapon Sharp'.

I make sure that my weapon, 'Life Ender', is kept well-sharpened at all times. This makes it much easier to cut things.

Precept Eleven: 'Mothers Will Always Betray You'.

This precept explains itself.

Precept Twelve: 'Keep Your Cloak Dry'.

If your cloak gets wet, dry it as soon as you can. Wearing wet cloaks is unpleasant, and can lead to illness.

Precept Thirteen: 'Never Be Afraid'.

Fear can only hold you back. Facing your fears can be a tremendous effort. Therefore, you should just not be afraid in the first place.

Precept Fourteen: 'Respect Your Superiors'.

If someone is your superior in strength or intellect or both, you need to show them your respect. Don't ignore them or laugh at them.

Precept Fifteen: 'One Foe, One Blow'.

You should only use a single blow to defeat an enemy. Any more is a waste. Also, by counting your blows as you fight, you'll know how many foes you've defeated.

Precept Sixteen: 'Don't Hesitate'.

Once you've made a decision, carry it out and don't look back. You'll achieve much more this way.

Precept Seventeen: 'Believe In Your Strength'.

Others may doubt you, but there's someone you can always trust. Yourself. Make sure to believe in your own strength, and you will never falter.

Precept Eighteen: 'Seek Truth in the Darkness'.

This precept also explains itself.

Precept Nineteen: 'If You Try, Succeed'.

If you're going to attempt something, make sure you achieve it. If you do not succeed, then you have actually failed! Avoid this at all costs.

Precept Twenty: 'Speak Only the Truth'.

When speaking to someone, it is courteous and also efficient to speak truthfully. Beware though that speaking truthfully may make you enemies. This is something you'll have to bear.

Precept Twenty-One: 'Be Aware of Your Surroundings'.

Don't just walk along staring at the ground! You need to look up every so often, to make sure nothing takes you by surprise.

Precept Twenty-Two: 'Abandon the Nest'.

As soon as I could, I left my birthplace and made my way out into the world. Do not linger in the nest. There is nothing for you there.

Precept Twenty-Three: 'Identify the Foe's Weak Point'.

Every foe you encounter has a weak point, such as a crack in their shell or being asleep. You must constantly be alert and scrutinising your enemy to detect their weakness!

Precept Twenty-Four: 'Strike the Foe's Weak Point'.

Once you have identified your foe's weak point as per the previous precept, strike it. This will instantly destroy them.

Precept Twenty-Five: 'Protect Your Own Weak Point'.

Be aware that your foe will try to identify your weak point, so you must protect it. The best protection? Never having a weak point in the first place.

Precept Twenty-Six: 'Don't Trust Your Reflection'.

When peering at certain shining surfaces, you may see a copy of your own face. The face will mimic your movements and seems similar to your own, but I don't think it can be trusted.

Precept Twenty-Seven: 'Eat As Much As You Can'.

When having a meal, eat as much as you possibly can. This gives you extra energy, and means you can eat less frequently.

Precept Twenty-Eight: 'Don't Peer Into the Darkness'.

If you peer into the darkness and can't see anything for too long, your mind will start to linger over old memories. Memories are to be avoided, as per Precept Four.

Precept Twenty-Nine: 'Develop Your Sense of Direction'.

It's easy to get lost when travelling through winding, twisting caverns. Having a good sense of direction is like having a magical map inside of your head. Very useful.

Precept Thirty: 'Never Accept a Promise'.

Spurn the promises of others, as they are always broken. Promises of love or betrothal are to be avoided especially.

Precept Thirty-One: 'Disease Lives Inside of Dirt'.

You'll get sick if you spend too much time in filthy places. If you are staying in someone else's home, demand the highest level of cleanliness from your host.

Precept Thirty-Two: 'Names Have Power'.

Names have power, and so to name something is to grant it power. I myself named my nail 'Life Ender'. Do not steal the name I came up with! Invent your own!

Precept Thirty-Three: 'Show the Enemy No Respect'.

Being gallant to your enemies is no virtue! If someone opposes you, they don't deserve respect or kindness or mercy.

Precept Thirty-Four: 'Don't Eat Immediately Before Sleeping'.

This can cause restlessness and indigestion. It's just common sense.

Precept Thirty-Five: 'Up is Up, Down is Down'.

If you fall over in the darkness, it can be easy to lose your bearing and forget which way is up. Keep this precept in mind!

Precept Thirty-Six: 'Eggshells are brittle'.

Once again, this precept explains itself.

Precept Thirty-Seven: 'Borrow, But Do Not Lend'.

If you lend and are repaid, you gain nothing. If you borrow but do not repay, you gain everything.

Precept Thirty-Eight: 'Beware the Mysterious Force'.

A mysterious force bears down on us from above, pushing us downwards. If you spend too long in the air, the force will crush you against the ground and destroy you. Beware!

Precept Thirty-Nine: 'Eat Quickly and Drink Slowly'.

Your body is a delicate thing and you must fuel it with great deliberation. Food must go in as fast as possible, but fluids at a slower rate.

Precept Forty: 'Obey No Law But Your Own'.

Laws written by others may inconvenience you or be a burden. Let your own desires be the only law.

Precept Forty-One: 'Learn to Detect Lies'.

When others speak, they usually lie. Scrutinise and question them relentlessly until they reveal their deceit.

Precept Forty-Two: 'Spend Geo When You Have It'.

Some will cling onto their Geo, even taking it into the dirt with them when they die. It is better to spend it when you can, so you can enjoy various things in life.

Precept Forty-Three: 'Never Forgive'.

If someone asks forgiveness of you, for instance a brother of yours, always deny it. That brother, or whoever it is, doesn't deserve such a thing.

Precept Forty-Four: 'You Can Not Breathe Water'.

Water is refreshing, but if you try to breathe it you are in for a nasty shock.

Precept Forty-Five: 'One Thing Is Not Another'.

This one should be obvious, but I've had others try to argue that one thing, which is clearly what it is and not something else, is actually some other thing, which it isn't. Stay on your guard!

Precept Forty-Six: 'The World is Smaller Than You Think'.

When young, you tend to think that the world is vast, huge, gigantic. It's only natural. Unfortunately, it's actually quite a lot smaller than that. I can say this, now having travelled everywhere in the land.

Precept Forty-Seven: 'Make Your Own Weapon'.

Only you know exactly what is needed in your weapon. I myself fashioned 'Life Ender' from shellwood at a young age. It has never failed me. Nor I it.

Precept Forty-Eight: 'Be Careful With Fire'.

Fire is a type of hot spirit that dances about recklessly. It can warm you and provide light, but it will also singe your shell if it gets too close.

Precept Forty-Nine: 'Statues are Meaningless'.

Do not honour them! No one has ever made a statue of you or I, so why should we pay them any attention?

Precept Fifty: 'Don't Linger on Mysteries'.

Some things in this world appear to us as puzzles. Or enigmas. If the meaning behind something is not immediately evident though, don't waste any time thinking about it. Just move on.

Precept Fifty-One: 'Nothing is Harmless'.

Given the chance, everything in this world will hurt you. Friends, foes, monsters, uneven paths. Be suspicious of them all.

Precept Fifty-Two: 'Beware the Jealousy of Fathers'.

Fathers believe that because they created us we must serve them and never exceed their capabilities. If you wish to forge your own path, you must vanquish your father. Or simply abandon him.

Precept Fifty-Three: 'Do Not Steal the Desires of Others'.

Every creature keeps their desires locked up inside of themselves. If you catch a glimpse of another's desires, resist the urge to claim them as your own. It will not lead you to happiness.

Precept Fifty-Four: 'If You Lock Something Away, Keep the Key'.

Nothing should be locked away for ever, so hold onto your keys. You will eventually return and unlock everything you hid away.

Precept Fifty-Five: 'Bow to No-one'.

There are those in this world who would impose their will on others. They claim ownership over your food, your land, your body, and even your thoughts! They have done nothing to earn these things. Never bow to them, and make sure to disobey their commands.

Precept Fifty-Six: 'Do Not Dream'.

Dreams are dangerous things. Strange ideas, not your own, can worm their way into your mind. But if you resist those ideas, sickness will wrack your body! Best not to dream at all, like me.

Precept Fifty-Seven: 'Obey All Precepts'.

Most importantly, you must commit all of these precepts to memory and obey them all unfailingly. Including this one!

Hmm. Have you truly memorized all of them? Perhaps you should scroll back up and re-read the 'Fifty-Seven Precepts of Zote'.