the-g-spot

[the-g-spot]

At least I have a friend now who is also a house hippo

[the-g-spot]

In the process of being kicked out of my group home on to the street with a whopping $167 incoming welfare for the month.

All because I'm self medicating with stimulants in secret after the doctors cut me off my 10 year dexedrine prescription because they think it makes me psychotic. Fuck the medical system it's such a circus. Sorry but I was suicidal without stimulants and they refuse to give me SSRIs because "the risk of triggering psychosis is too high".

Certainly feels like crucifixion. Like being raped by the state over and over.

Forced to pee in a cup for a drug test after I argued with the nurse because I wanted to smoke a cigarette after curfew on a Friday night. Apparently I've been "agitated" so they must investigate and ensure I'm abiding by their rules to uphold my mental health.

I'm on welfare because I was involuntarily hospitalized. I have no other option to survive. Of course my parents who live in a 6 bedroom mansion with a movie theater and dance studio don't give a shit and the only shelter in town has no beds available.

Oh I'm seeing things clearly, my mental health is protected, don't worry.

No tears fall. Just typical day in the life.

Oh speak of the devil the nurse just knocked on my door to let me know my creepy zombie injection is due today. Cherry on top.

Boy Andy I hope ur right. That would be a

All good I brought a flashlight I'll be fine

[the-g-spot]

When faced with a radical crisis, when the old way of being in the world, of interacting with each other and with the realm of nature doesn't work anymore, when survival is threatened by seemingly insurmountable problems, an individual life-form -- or a species -- will either die or become extinct or rise above the limitations of its condition through an evolutionary leap.

~ Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to your life's purpose

~Plato's symposium~

He explains that humans used to consist of two half-humans—each person consisted of two males, two females, or one male and one female. When these primordial humans threatened the gods, Zeus cut them in half. The resulting half-humans were sexually attracted to the type with which they’d originally been united—either men to women (and vice versa), women to women, or men to men. Regardless, each half-human longs and searches for reunion with his or her “other half.” Ultimately, then, love is the search of what is like oneself.

"Have you ever seen an imperfect wave? you are best to imagine yourself as a cloud" -Alan Watts ~~~ (always becoming, never complete)

If I told you that a flower blooms in a dark room, would you trust it?

~~ Kendrick Lamar, Poetic Justice

Music is the best medicine. It's why I never feel alone. Here are 500 reasons. I only hope that the lessons I took from my struggles make the journey lighter for the next traveller. Because to consciously repeat a cycle of pain is insanity.

"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret:

I don't really care so much what people say about me because it usually is a reflection of who they are.

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

~ Le Petit Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

thexbox.tumblr.com

[the-g-spot]

I made a new friend today. A real one.

He offered to let me stay with him but he also got his welfare cut off so has no money for rent himself.

[the-g-spot]

I can't wait to have enough money to be able to dj again

I forget the question but music is the answer.

[the-g-spot]

thexbox.tumblr.com is back on

Just needed a reboot

[the-g-spot]

Until my soundcloud is reactivated, here are some of my mixes

Extreme poverty woes.

[the-g-spot]

What makes a great DJ?

Real question.

I just wanna go Pete Tong.

Not a 'everyone is a dj' type dj. Like what does it take to be truly remarkable?

Build a museum?

Done.

Be a one woman circus?

Done.

Have mixes available on soundcloud?

Nope, too poor.

Soundcloud.com/theogmissg

2 more days!

[the-g-spot]

Wow so I found out the name of my soul family is also a band and they know the plan clearly

That troll instagram is such a fucking gem. The story reel is just wow.

It really captures my insanity beautifully and the reason I was locked up in the looney bin.

Here's my problem:

What if I'm not insane I'm just a huge troll and everyone else is confused because they think im serious

I used to be really shy so people don't even know me anymore

Nobody know the shit I've been through these last few years

I cracked like humpty

At a certain point you just go mad hatter

I think im finally just crazy enough to be an overnight sensation

I get a kick outta me at least

I'm definitely... something.

I think I just escape into fantasy because my world is so dull.

I got so bored I started watching Ginny and Georgia and honestly the fact of that is causing me some real depression to set in.

Watching it I was like man I wish I had a real life with friends and parties like these teenagers. How sad is that.

I'm mildly triggered.

I'm legit not allowed to go to a party. My masters at the aslyum group home would not permit it.

Holy fuck I actually can't remember the last time I've been to a party. It's been years. I need to let that sink in.

[the-g-spot]

OK shits getting dire in the vape department today

3 MORE DAYS TILL WELFARE

PRAY FOR MY LUNGS huffing on these crispy critter vape cartridges

Any sane person would lay them to rest at this point

Burnt was like 3 days ago

My throat hurts

The high desert has the best rain storms

[the-g-spot]

Is this Megan 2.0 movie for real. Sometimes I wonder about this world and how I am the deranged one with no followers when like this is what I'm up against...How. Why.

K but what about this adorable turtle

[the-g-spot]

I keep trying to tell everyone that I got the multidimensional TV working from rick and morty but they all too dense

Don't you know djing is 90% scrounge

I built this tower so I could watch over my treasures I find at the bottom of the sea

[the-g-spot]

You know what's crazy I realized the moo sigil I received in a divine message was from Hermes and then I realized Daniel had also divined it from a dream and he's in the hermetic order

How's that for confirmation

Daniel's divinations:

Also this is me talking to Mark Zuckerberg

People say I'm crazy but I'm telling u the tea leaves say otherwise

[the-g-spot]

Im a crab in a bucket fuckit

Aha the feedback loop

Curious what this is about

Psychic empathy is my achilles

"Meditation is the key"

Well good thing I bankrupted myself with that $20 meditation app lmao

I had a dream last night that was very sinister

The taste of chocolate toothpaste was very strong

I woke up when the hitman arrived

What does it mean

Ooh chocolate represents Eros its about love

Cupid stay outta my dreams

Teeth represent the collection of wisdom

It's a hit and run

On a positive note, I got my teeth cleaned today and had no cavities.

[the-g-spot]

Omg my burrito dog is actually going tumblr viral fuck yes I hit the algorithm sweet spot

My web of tumblrs shall be taking over the internet shortly

[the-g-spot]

I love when people like my really old posts from back when I was psychotic I'm glad my genius wasn't wasted

As I say, the odyssey wasn't written in a day

Let me show you how a REAL rocketship is built

thexbox.tumblr.com/page/80

Wow that archive was better than I imagined

My abs hurt now

Working on my 6 pack one deranged post at a time

This is what psychotic breaks are made for

This right here

Wow I'm so glad I documented the whole thing so fastidiously

It's a trove

For a minute there I was like embarrassed about being "crazy" until I realized my content is so batshit its the best thing that I've ever done with my life

As a homeless mental patient I may seem like a failure by society's standards, but my soul has flourished

I transmuted some deep deep wounds into laughter and joy

That's good enough for me

I may be crazy and over the top and unpredictable but I fucking love that about myself

This world needs more of that

[the-g-spot]

A timelord is never late.

Time isn't even real.

It's why I'm

Young and beautiful sure sure but I'm innit for the

The pattern don't lie

Hey it predicted how and why my breakup would happen

Too many blunts

I dont even smoke that much weed anymore cuz I'm broke af but I love this track

This is what I call motivation