the-inner-musings-of-a-worm

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and if i said neil josten?

“But I can do a lot with 15 minutes

Lot of pretty boys, lot of funny business

Take a couple bucks, turn 'em into millions

When my time's up, baby

I'll leak some pictures, maybe

Say somethin' batshit crazy

I'll do it, don't you make me”

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unfortunately i found out i was neil josten when i disliked renee. bc yeah she is too nice. that is suspicious. i don’t care that you had a dark past and love god now woman just say something mean about someone and i will feel so much more comfortable around you STOP BEING SO NICE THESE PEOPLE AROUND YOU ARE FREAKS

[the-inner-musings-of-a-worm]

jeremy does not like neil. neil came to visit jean and jean came back spiraling. neil knows things about jean that jeremy does not. he is a short, suspicious, menace of a man. all of this to say that it is the funniest thing on earth to both the foxes and the trojans that jeremy knox, captain sunshine and rainbows, gets along better with andrew minyard than neil josten.

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is it bad that the ONE thing i can’t suspend my disbelief for is the height of the characters. the minyards cannot be shorter than me. i am 5’1. they cannot be shorter than me and be in defensive positions. in my mind the twinyards are 5’4 and neil is 5’6, still shorter than average for guys but not in a way that’s ridiculous

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yall... neil josten knows music. sure, he might be clueless when it comes to disney movies and pop culture but music? he knows EVERYTHING. the hits, the heavy metal, the 70s dad music. why? well what else was there to do on the road. he and his mom spent so much of their time just driving from place to place, and how do they pass the time? they crank up the radio. neil josten is not oblivious to music, he is in fact too educated and has the most random taste in songs.

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jean and neil are so siblings coded in the way that they would kill for each other but would rather die than spend a long period of time in each other's presence. always picking up the phone but still hating that little bitch

[the-inner-musings-of-a-worm]

neil josten IS the song subway by chappell roan

HE'S GOT A WAY versus HE GOT AWAY

listen to that song rn and tell me thats not andrews internal monologue during baltimore

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neil and kevin are friends in the way that girls make out when theyre really drunk and never acknowledge it ever again

this also applies to kevin and andrew

and kevin and jean

and kevin and ... you get the idea

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nothing in my mind except neil josten doing those gimmicky interviews

lie detector interview? he lies flawlessly. they ask him what team he’s on to test it and he says the trojans. the needle doesn’t move. no one knows what to do

answering the internet’s most googled question? neil doesn’t give away shit. (“what is neil jostens favorite hobby?” “lying to cops”) every question is answered with some version of your mother or an anecdote about something illegal

hot wings but neil and kevin do it versus each other. it quickly devolves into psychological warfare. neil adds hot sauce to kevin’s wing when he’s not looking

neil takes a buzzfeed which exy player are you the most like and when he gets riko he just walks out

literally any gimmicky pr stunt just dissolves into chaos

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we all overlook the irony of jean, neil, and kevin being french english and irish. the supreme trio of misery and hatred. and somehow the guy with the most power is the fucking irish one

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neil’s not allowed to talk to the press anymore bc the last time he did they asked him his thoughts about trojan v foxes games and he says “i think any games with the foxes and trojans competing against each other should be legally classified as gay porn”

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My Kink Is Karma - AFTG ANIMATIC

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neil josten to the fbi at any given time: You really dumb enough to think I'll tell you anything, you dumb, dirty ho I wouldn't tell you what color socks I got on

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as a reassurance to authors that for one reason or another they cant reply to ao3 comments left on there work: i actually prefer it when authors dont reply. thats not to say i hate it when they do but i live more in piece where ive complemented the work and they see it but dont acknowledge it. anyways if ur an author and ur stressed bc you havent replied to comments, dont worry theres always freaks like me that prefer it that way

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sometimes i’ll be reading aftg and there will be a single detail and i’ll be like that would never happen in the real world and then i stop myself because if ive already suspended my disbelief this far it can stretch a little more.

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free now by gracie abrams is so kevjean

listen:

"It's a pain that I caught you at a bad time It's a shame that I memorized your outline You were straight up with me, you were so kind But I knew what you knew, honey, great minds It was harsh 'cause I lost what I wanted I was brave when I kissed you in London We're collateral here, man, we got hit Hope you find somewhere safe for your baggage Every page that I wrote, you were on it Feel you deep in my bones, you're the current And I showed no restraint, it was something I was scared until you made me love it"

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a genuine question that i have for those who know about college sports after reading the golden raven:

are they actually this much of a big deal? is there a lot of press and paparazzi like in the books? are there fans of college teams that will commit crimes bc of their team? is there national attention on these people?