the-lunar-system

[the-lunar-system]

imagine cloth mother and wire mother in family court competing for custody of the baby monkey

[the-lunar-system]

my dear friend just looked up from the hat she's crocheting for a very large spherical rock we found in the river and said, in a slightly haunted tone that revealed this was the first time she was having this thought, "i should make something for my cousin's real human baby"

[the-lunar-system]

Just had my moral compass surgically removed!

[the-lunar-system]

i'm the guy who writes the books that the protagonist in supernatural horror movies frantically reads somewhere in act ii. job's pretty easy. lot of "legends of vampires have recurred all throughout human history" and "demonologists agree that the quickest way to un-summon a demon is to trap it in a cursed object". no citations of course; they don't pay me citation money. i had to learn html back in the early aughts when everyone started seeking their supernatural info on websites they found via top search engines like FINDLER and WEBSIGHT but that's died down now which is great because i didn't have it in me to pick up css. currently working on a new book about horses that are evil. it's called HORSES THAT ARE EVIL in all caps so the protagonist can find it quickly to yank off the library shelf. it will be published 35 years ago.

[the-lunar-system]

Gale’s presence as a companion will never not be the funniest thing to me. because while everyone else are kind of just acquaintances who decided to tag along, your relationship with Gale from the get go is a very friendly accidental mutual hostage situation.

he can’t leave because he needs you to help him find artifacts so he doesn’t literally explode and die. you need to help him find artifacts so he doesn’t literally explode and kill you. narratively, you also can’t let him leave because if he leaves he’s almost guaranteed to die anyway, which still might kill you.

in that situation you are both:

- hostage negotiator

- hostage

and the guy you’re negotiating with is:

- the bomb, and

- terribly sorry about the inconvenience.

it’s also quite funny to me because obviously the game lets you let him leave the party for freedom of choice, but it makes no sense for any PC with an ounce of survival instinct to let him go lmao. even if you hate that wizard, keeping an eye on and managing the walking nuke is a much better plan than letting it go off somewhere random and potentially kill you in the process, (especially when Gale very clearly implies he probably will not survive long). just kind of a comically balanced decision in hindsight.

[the-lunar-system]

It's always disappointing when a series makes a big deal about societal and structural problems in it's setting, making readers think it has interesting things to say about the subject, only to then resolve the problems by fighting The CEO of Racism, John Racist, so that all of society's problems would then get better because they promoted a new CEO.

[the-lunar-system]

changing your bedsheets is a full contact sport if you're bad enough at it

[the-lunar-system]

it is important, now more than ever, to make friends you can roleplay extremely specific blorbo scenarios with. you have to be crying at 3am over angst scenarios generated by your elaborate among us based au. its good for the economy.

[the-lunar-system]

i bring a sort of “the dark side is primarily just a metaphor for selfishness” vibe to the force conversation that the powerscalers don’t really like

[the-lunar-system]

not only is the evil alter trope stupid and bad but it also just doesn't come close to capturing the true horrific realities of being a system, such as one of your headmates being a swiftie

[the-lunar-system]

WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN HOBBY LOBBY

[the-lunar-system]

i am so genuinely blinded by how attractive masc women are that i will forget that the rest of society refuses to find them sexy until they reform into femininity. you would take a carving knife to a flawless painting and claim you’re the better artist.

[the-lunar-system]

Google docs is getting out of hand

it changed "rapture" to "raptors" like three times

"rapture overcame him" -> "raptors overcame him"

honestly? probably makes for a better story

[the-lunar-system]

sending fandom memes to friends despite not being part of the fandom. Is it good or is it shit tier I don't know but it's Glup Shitto from ur show hope u like it

[the-lunar-system]

lets learn words

[the-lunar-system]

day 1 discord dms with a mutual: hahha yeah i hope im not bothering you! look at this silly picture haha reminds me of that one guy

day 563 discord dms with a mutual: I accidentally lit .my entire fucking marshmallow on fire when i was roasting it on the stove