the-mermaid-prince - Tumblr blog

[the-mermaid-prince]

when you tryna chill but your siblings love annoyin you

[the-mermaid-prince]

This is great when you’re stoned

Flip your phone upside down

[the-mermaid-prince]

Retail workers cannot go home at closing time until the last customer has left the store.

So that thing y’all do where you come in at 10 minutes to closing, buy half the store, and want to debate prices, super coupon, and price match at the same time is causing retail workers to miss their last bus home a lot of times. 

Don’t be that person

[the-mermaid-prince]

the same people who scream “I’m leaving, this is the final straw” every time staff fucks up are here five minutes later shitposting spongebob memes. let’s be real you were here through the porn bots apocalypse, you gonna be here through the titty prohibition. 

[the-mermaid-prince]

watch the whole thing, i’m begging you

[the-mermaid-prince]

mutuals before tumblr just ups and deletes every blog one day, if you want my insta/snap/phone # message me

[the-mermaid-prince]

Female presenting nipple

[the-mermaid-prince]

[the-mermaid-prince]

“I don’t care about dumb weed jokes,” I said naively, before I saw this

[the-mermaid-prince]

https://www.instagram.com/p/BmdoKm1gKc7

[the-mermaid-prince]

how to determine the gender of my nipples

[the-mermaid-prince]

ok before tumblr crash and burns into kiddyland hell i just have one thing left to say….

[the-mermaid-prince]

Mom and I were talking about traveling to different planets and colonies on Mars and meeting aliens and stuff like that, and she paused and said, “If life on Earth ends and we need to flee to a different planet, we’ll all need to work together. But also the first time a man pulls some shit, all the women need to murder him so everyone’s clear that we’re restarting society and we’re not bringing that shit with us. We’re not doing this again.” 

[the-mermaid-prince]

All this talk about gays not being able to drive is blatant erasure of those of us who were brave enough to weather the trials of the DMV (Forbes’ selection for Straightest Place on Earth eleven years in a row) so that we could return triumphant, finally able to drive each other to the 24 hr grocery store at 2 am, the gayest hour, to buy cheap vodka and takis

Stand up for your rights, auto homos! Don’t let them forget your sacrifices

[the-mermaid-prince]

[the-mermaid-prince]

If you see this

You were visited by the magic kitten of rest. Reblog to have a good night’s sleep.

[the-mermaid-prince]

my kitten says hello