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Imagine your Otp

Person A: *driving and sees a road work sign* oh there’s road work ahead

Person B: …

Person A: *sudden realization* No don’t do it

Person B: *smirks*

Person A: Don’t you fucking-

Person B: ROAD WORK AHEAD? YEAH, I SURE HOPE IT DOES!

Person A: I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL SHOVE YOU OUT OF THIS FUCKING CAR

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Person A, about B: After many, many hours, I’ve come to a conclusion.

Person A: One that I do not like.

Person A: We are friends.

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Person C: What would you do if you were invisible?

Person A: I think I’d like to spend time in nature. I could easily watch birds and animals without scaring them and I feel like it’d be really peaceful.

Person B: Set up tripwires around Buckingham Palace

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Person A: so you’re lying

Person B: no…actually i’m standing, with great posture, i might add, i mean you could probably balance a stack of books on my head if you wanted-

Person A: jesus christ that’s not what I meant and you know it

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Person A: *lying awake in bed * Hey are you asleep yet?

Person B: Yes.

Person A: Oh okay, I won’t bother you then

[two hours later]

Person A: ……

Person A: wait a fucking second

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Imagine your otp

Person A: *knocking on person B’s door before entering* are you decent?

Person B: not morally, but I’m wearing pants if that’s what you’re asking.

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OTP Prompt #16

Person A: Just admit it. You’re in love with me. Person B: *slams on brakes* Person A: *head smacks into dashboard* Owwww! Person B: Don’t say stuff like that while I’m driving!

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Person A: I guess you could say I’ve … fallen for you *winks*

Person B: You literally just rolled down an entire flight of stairs how are you even alive-

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dialogue prompts that really butter my eggroll

”Wait, when did I take off my clothes?” 

“I am fully convinced you never graduated kindergarden.” 

“Was there a scuffle?” 

“I’m not here, actually, this is a projection from… Mars… I moved there recently.” 

“This is going to sound controversial, but I think that went well.”

“You have no idea how to make a toast?!”

 “I haven’t showered in four days.” 

“Tell them how you screwed up.”

“Until the day you learn how to start a normal conversation, I will have to be there to fix the messes you make.” 

“You’re more zombie than human.” 

“I don’t know what the question was but without a doubt my answer is ‘I don’t know’.” 

“We settle this the old fashion way, like real men: dance off.” 

“Try not to gasp.”

“Well this just scrambles my eggs.”

“Look, I’m not the brightest tool in the… toolbox.”

“Am I doing it right?“

“I am the backbone of this household.”

”With all due respect, I’m going to ignore everything you just said.”

“You killed my box!”

“You have the audacity to wake me up but not actually die.”

“This is pretty funny, though.”

“That’s because of my complete and utter failure of being a well-mannered, functioning member of society.”

“No forts without me!”

“You got me detective… looks like I’m going to liars jail.”

“I have one speed: none.”

“You did this! You’re still doing it!”

“Don’t make it weird!”

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Imagine your OTP #3

Person A: I challenge you to an arm wrestling battle!

Person B: ok

Person A:

Person B:

Person A: *whispers* we’re holding hands now

Person B:

Person A:

Person B: *whispers* it appears so

Person A:

Person B: *slams A’s hand on table*

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look me in the eye and tell me seven doesnt have a car bed.

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Jaehee: Seven, I need your street name.

707: Lil Luciel

Jahee: You live on a street called Lil Luciel?

707: Oh you meant my address! 8D

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OTP Prompts #2

1.

A: “Let’s just forget this ever happened.”

B: “Agreed. But if we’re caught, you’re taking the blame.”

A: “This was your idea!”

2.

A: “Hey–it’s okay, what’s wrong?”

B: “I’m sorry–I just thought something had happened to you. I don’t know what I would do …”

A: “I’m fine; I’m right here, see? Everything’s okay.”

3.

A: “Is that my shirt?”

B: “Uh . . . maybe?”

A: “… you look better in it, anyway.”

4.

A: “Hey–what the hell! You can’t just barge in here like that!”

B: “… Did you seriously just throw a ninja star at me?”

A: “It’s your fault for interrupting me! I was practicing my aim!”

B: “No kidding–you missed me by a mile.”

A: “Get. Out!”

5.

A: “Ugh, kill me.”

B: “What’s wrong now?”

A: “Does something have to be wrong whenever I want to die?”

B: “Generally, yes.”

A: “… I’m bored.”

6.

A: “You make some cute noises in your sleep.”

B: “W-what? Why were you watching me sleep? And besides–I don’t talk in my sleep and I never have!”

A: “Never said nothin’ about talking, sweetheart. Maybe some … moans.”

B: “ … I am going to kill you.”

7.

A: “Do you ever think about . . . space?”

B: “. . . Are you high?”

A: “… Very.”

8.

A: “I don’t dance.”

B: “Aw, c’mon! It’ll be fun!”

A: “I’m serious–I will embarrass you and the entirety of the human race in the process.”

B: “You can’t be that bad.”

A: “Oh, believe me, I am.”

9.

A: “Uh-oh.”

B: “You broke it!”

A: “No–this is your fault!”

B: “C’s going to kill you!”

A: “This was your idea, jackass!”

10.

A: “Hey–are you listening to me?”

B: “What? I can’t hear you from down there.”

A: “I AM NOT THAT SHORT, YOU JERK!”

B: “Oh, I can hear you now. And yes, you really are.”

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how are you, precious being? i hope that you are well and still have some space left on that ship i want to go down with u the ship is so lil let’s RISE IT UP TO THE SPACE STATION thank you for listening have a good life

Blessings be upon you sweet child. This is sounding a bit cultish Lolol

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Person A: god, could you be serious for once?

Person B: …

Person A: don’t you fucking do it

Person B: ………

Person A: don’t you dare

Person B: IM NOT GOD, BUT IM PRETTY DAMN CLOSE

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You’re too good to me!!

OTP Things:

1. “You can’t be mean, because I cook the food…and I could technically poison you.”

2. “DON’T FLUSH THE TOILET WHEN I’M IN THE SHOWER!”

3. “Pick your underwear up off the floor.” “Why? You’re the one that threw them there…last night…remember?”

4. “Sharing a single strand of spaghetti is not romantic. Stop asking.”

5. “You set the fire alarm off making mac and cheese!!”

6. “You just called my mom, Mom. That’s, like, better than when you said you loved me for the first time.”

7. “Potato stix. Not potato chips. Not french fries. Sticks. S-T-I-X.”

8. “Connect-four my ass. You fucking cheater.”

9. “You’re seriously going to make me sleep on the couch because I BEAT YOU IN MONOPOLY!”

10. “The blanket is a shared utensil. You can’t just wrap yourself like a burrito and leave me to freeze to death.”

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Aww sorry about that but thank you!!!

Person A: *picking out phone chargers with B*

Person A: do you think this one’s long enough to tie a noose?

Person B: what the fuck is wrong with you