the-one-percent-of-germs

[the-one-percent-of-germs]

[the-one-percent-of-germs]

villains are hard to design. making them ugly is dangerous, depending on what traits you choose to frame as monstrous or undesirable, you could very well end up saying something fatphobic, racist, anti-semitic, etc

but if you make a hot villain then people will get thirsty and demand redemptions and refuse to acknowledge their evil actions, no matter how despicable

[the-one-percent-of-germs]

yo im 4 year old rapper. my names napkin. and i just got sign, to pickles records

[the-one-percent-of-germs]

[the-one-percent-of-germs]

so my highschool was huge, and for god knows what reason, cross country was super popular. at my highschool of maybe 6000 kids we have close to 750 cross country runners. we needed four or five busses to take us to meets. it was absolutely fucking insane.

anyway, i have this core memory of us running as this big, thundering herd down the main stroad of my hometown, and this one car had inched up pretty far past the stop sign to try and see around the car, and the guy leading our group decided, for god knows what reason, to open this big car's passenger door, scooch across the back three seats, and pop out the other side.

but then the guy behind him did the same, and we all just decided, why not, so we all did, and there was this old guy yelling at us but he couldn't just pull away because there was this unending 750 person long conga line of overheated hyperventilating sweat slick scrawny mormon kids slithering all over his leather seats and if hed tried to pull away at any point after the first guy he'd have kidnapped at least three of em.

for bonus points this guy lived in the area, and every time we ran past him he'd just lay on the horn, but to get back at him wed run into neighborhoods that we saw him enter and wed make these giant congo lines at crosswalks and shit just to fuck with him. we tormented that man.

[the-one-percent-of-germs]

feeling extremely threatened right now

[the-one-percent-of-germs]

the most noble professions are

3. line cooks. unsung warriors fighting in unreasonable conditions to make food that taste good.

2. sanitation worker. working at risk to carry out unpleasant tasks without which society would collapse within days. actual heroes

1. artists who draw blowjobs good

[the-one-percent-of-germs]

hi im your cat do you mind if i touch your coffee. do you mind if i put my whole foot in your coffee

[the-one-percent-of-germs]

[the-one-percent-of-germs]

I had a bowl of cheerios 2 days ago and I'm still vibing off of that moment. they were very delicious

[the-one-percent-of-germs]

bad

[the-one-percent-of-germs]

What is Queso saying?

[the-one-percent-of-germs]

by Alejandro Sintura

[the-one-percent-of-germs]

[the-one-percent-of-germs]

Original