the-only-takoyaki-king

[the-only-takoyaki-king]

*find myself slowly succumbing to the sweet embrace of my third mountain of Oreos* yeah, think it’s time to wave the white flag. one more cookie and I'll just about puke all over your one-pant leg :') so, let’s take stock: 2.5 mountains of cookie perfection—me vs.  you? O3O *jeopardy music plays to drum up the anticipation* - Lu

I ate-

ghhk..! …one and a half piles…

[the-only-takoyaki-king]

dihh💔🥀

Huh?

[the-only-takoyaki-king]

No, like what's ur fav Oreo flavour?

All. As long as they’re made of cookies, I don’t care.

[the-only-takoyaki-king]

blackhole, huh? how apt. my event horizon’s already telling me that if you don’t get started on that mountain soon, you might as well forfeit and let me take the win. knew you were all talk and no show under that Oreo exterior. tsk, tsk. shame, though—yui might’ve even had her money on you too~ pft as if I'll tell you what I would ask for yet; rather keep you guessing instead lul

did I not think of it yet? no- I mean yes, I always plan things out exactly. obviously - Lu

I would NEVER FORFEIT!!!! OM NOM NOM-

[the-only-takoyaki-king]

“Oh? Over-confident, are we?  Cracks knuckles dramatically  "Well, I hope you’re ready for the real competition.”

I slap down a mountain-high pile of Oreos in front of him, like, this thing could probably give Mount Everest a run for its money. Seriously, if you’ve ever seen a Matt Stonie eating contest or those insane mukbangs, you know the kind of beast we’re dealing with here.

“Think you can handle that? Watch and learn, my friend.”

Without missing a beat, I go full Kirby-mode, and just… inhale the entire mountain of Oreos in one go. It’s almost like magic. It’s smooth. It’s easy. And when I’m done, there’s more piles stacked behind me, just in case I decide to go for round two.

I lean back, smug as all hell, crumbs everywhere, and give him a grin that says it all.

“Child’s play. Honestly, this isn’t even a challenge. Sugar coma? Been there, done that. I’m practically on first-name terms with the sugar high and crash at this point. Probably won’t be the last time either. Let’s be real. How about you, Oreo? Green at the gills yet?" - Lu

*He paused, blinking; utterly dumbfounded.*

…do you have a stomach? Like, at all? Or is there just a black hole in there…?

[the-only-takoyaki-king]

You?

NO!! I look nothing LIKE that!

[the-only-takoyaki-king]

I'm three years old

Damn, you type well.

[the-only-takoyaki-king]

What's your favorite Oreo

The one made of cookie.

[the-only-takoyaki-king]

sure, sure, ya blushing beetroot. no need to get all flustered, really.

i heard a little something through the grapevine — a rumor, maybe even a birdy or two chirping—that she might have the hots for you, so hey, no need to fret~

as for oreos? only the best of the best, obviously. nothing less for the oreo-sama himself: pancake red velvet.

but hey, if your taste buds are too fragile for something that decadent, i can always downgrade to an inferior flavor. wouldn’t want you crying over cookies lul

just so you know—i’m not gonna make it easy. i’ve taken on a challenge or two in my time. regretted it later? absolutely. but still walked away victorious. mostly :3 - Lu

Oh, as if Your’s Truly couldn’t eat any kind of cookie!!! You’re on!!

[the-only-takoyaki-king]

ayato, is that one viral dress white and gold or black and blue?

Black and blue, duh!!

[the-only-takoyaki-king]

I scratch my chin, pretending to ponder like this is some great philosophical dilemma "blood is the obvious answer, sure. But I’m telling you, you do not want to crack open that particular can of worms" I gesture vaguely, as if swatting the idea away “I could suggest takoyaki, but that feels cliché. I could offer to help with homework, but let’s be honest—you’d rather eat your textbooks than study from them” a pause, then I grin, leaning in slightly with mock conspiratorial energy “but I know what you actually want. not blood. not snacks. not a shiny Charizard Ultra Platinum whatever edition—though, respect if you do collect those” I give a teasing look, letting the moment hang just long enough. “you want a date. with Yui” I hold up both hands in mock surrender “hey, I’m not judging! you've got it bad, even if you won’t admit it. lucky for you, I happen to be a top-tier wingman. but—”  I point dramatically  "—only if you win the Oreo-eating contest. No cutting corners" - Lu

Hah?! That’s your offer? I-… fine! BUT I’m only accepting this because… because I just wanna beat you!! I don’t like Pancake like that, d-duh!

What Oreos we talkin’ about, though?

[the-only-takoyaki-king]

do it clap

What.

[the-only-takoyaki-king]

fair question: why do you keep getting asked the most unhinged, borderline feral stuff?? like the kneecaps thing?? i’m still mentally recovering. and don’t even get me started on the torpedoing fridge. i think about that bi-weekly. rent-free

but okay, i’ll be nice. let me dial back the chaos—for now lul

i hereby challenge you to an oreo-eating contest. whoever wins gets a prize of their choosing from the loser. stakes are real. crumbs will fly. honor will be tested

you in? :D

- Lu

Hmm… depends. What can you offer that I’d want?

[the-only-takoyaki-king]

meow

You practicing to be my new familiar or what? Pfft.

[the-only-takoyaki-king]

how on brand of you, Oreo, to read a book purely for the freaky vibes—meanwhile, here I am still spiraling over the line: “if it was possible, he felt that he must go away even more strongly than his sister.” like… is his desire to die a result of his environment, detached from any real autonomy? or is it a conscious choice—an act of love, even—because he sees himself as nothing but a burden? is this a quiet prelude to the modern conversation around mental health, or just an absurdist take on the human tendency toward social and existential withdrawal?

but never mind that. let me ask you a much simpler, arguably more pressing question: if you had to turn into a bug, what bug would you choose?

and please, for the love of God, do not say centipede. my insectophobia is already hanging on by a thread just thinking about them. also, if you're ever trapped in the Sakamaki mansion with a creepy-crawly—don’t look to me to deal with it. I will be the first one out the door - Lu

also, OMG—you sound exactly like me when I start spiraling into character analysis. I once used one of my law school essays as an excuse to do a deep dive into Svidrigailov from Crime and Punishment. peak indulgence, but zero regrets

anyway, you’ve officially inspired me to pick up Shirley Temple once I finish my law firm applications. here's to the freaky vibes and literary spirals

Oh, easy- a spider. To scare the crap outta Laito, duh.

[the-only-takoyaki-king]

do you got hair on your toes

What. The fuck. I need to get off this godforsaken app, holy shit.

[the-only-takoyaki-king]

can you meow for me?

Uh- no????