the-poniton-local-tribune

[the-poniton-local-tribune]

Hey guys, it’s been a while. I should catch you all up

By Malcolm gray

So, we here at the news team deem it necessary to put up a little update post. We understand it’s been over a year since our last news story, and we’re all terribly sorry for that. Rest assured, we’re working on it. A news story coming out soon is intended to shed some light on the situation, as well as provide a little bit more of an introduction to the news team! To provide a small bit of reasoning behind our dissapearence, our office got fucking mold, and we’re currently all operating out of my basement. It’s a little bit more complicated than that, but all will be explained in the next news story.

Malcolm Gray

PoniTon Local Tribune

PoniTon, Saskatchewan

[the-poniton-local-tribune]

"Werewolf" Rumours proven after corpse found in schoolyard

Written by Malcolm Gray

Early in the school year, complaints began to flood into the PoniTon Education Board stating that children were telling stories and crying about an apparent werewolf stalking them from the nearby woods. These claims were quickly dismissed by parents, believing it was some overactive imagination phenomenon. However, once these parents began talking to each other about these claims they all found disturbing links between all these stories. all descriptions of the werewolf were the same between kids. All children stated seeing an "Us Sized", "Hairless in some places, hairful in others", "Droopy faced" "one-eyed", "Constantly steaming" white wolf with "shaggy/matted fur", "4 legs but 5 paws", that would "Constantly pant", "Bleed in some places", "look in two directions at once", with one report from one child stating that it had a bark that sounded like "Gravel being caught between two ground gears made of bones" and that it chased[1] him through the woods and into the schoolyard before it got caught in a bear trap. The child then saw the wolf "Cry for a while before it stood up, kinda shaked. It bit on the trap and pulled at it so that it would come off. It dropped the trap and walked away…". It was when this anonymous child took this trap to his mother when this mother decided to take action and came to us. "That trap had teeth marks in it like the trap was made of gold." She said, "I don't feel safe here anymore if these traps are going to be laying around wherever and these monsters are going to be roaming the woods whenever.". Claims and complaints sent to the Board of Education were originally met with suspicion but after enough complaints with the same description they were forced to make a move. Board member Jackson Mage Had this to say

"Claims like these are hard to sift out of the spam bin. It's hard to believe these kinds of things are really happening in our town. could you blame us?"

Upon the 27th claim reaching their office, Mr. Mage went down to the police in order to establish a plan in order to combat this "Werewolf". Instead, the Police decided to set up a petition. If 100 people had gone to the police station themselves and signed a petition in front of their chief of police stating their names, sighting details, and location. The petition was fully signed that very weekend. When questioned about the hesitation, police chief Sarah Tyler had this to say

"You were all trying to convince us of a WEREWOLF in our midst. Forgive me for providing some extra caution towards the werewolf claims."

… It took 255 signatures, and an amputation to bring these complaints to Chief Tyler's desk. Just behind Knudson Elementary is a creek leading directly into the town's surrounding woods. 10-year-old George Tozier was found screaming and crying outside the fence at 4:15 while kids were being dismissed from school. He was also reported missing by his classmates (Including the anonymous child who witnessed the werewolf in a bear trap.) at 8:27 in the morning while kids were filing in. He was found missing an arm. From his parents, we were informed that during an early drop-off, while he was supposed to be supervised at the school's courtyard playground, we had wandered off through a hole in the fence to look at the trees. He had an encounter with the werewolf in which the werewolf chased him until he was tired before pouncing on him and tearing off his left arm by mid-bicep. His parents wanted to stress that George had been crying about how the wolf had only bitten his wrist but had still torn off his arm. He had fainted under shock and slept in the creek until he woke up and ran back to the school. A medical report from the hospital they had visited confirms this (Anonymity for the Tozier family's privacy). Once properly provoked, the police department began a search party throughout a 50 km radius around Knudson Elementary. The search turned out baron, though it is important to note that during a search conducted by volunteer students from Jeffrey Hodek High School, they HAD found trails of pawprints in pairs of five, whitish fur with blood stains caught on berry branches, trails of blood intermittently disappearing and reappearing as well as campfire setups with energy bar wrappers and half burnt tim hortons bags in said setups. These rock circles were made and lit recently, as was evident by a still puddle of ash water in a corner of the campfire and the everpresent scent of urine. this search was led by the high school's very own "Urban Exploration Club" led by our very own photographer Darcy Hocksteader. Thanks, Darcy. though the police station's attempts were rendered useless, Jeffrey Hodek High's UrbEx Club's search also brought back evidence. presented to the news team and the local veterinary clinic were 5 mangled squirrel corpses, 2 dead foxes, and 10 mysterious skin samples. The vet clinic conducted autopsies that confirmed that, quote

"Something with way too many teeth killed these squirrels. evidence suggests wolf teeth but abundance of punctures indicates piranha? and these foxes weren't just chomped on the jugular, they were flung into and bashed into multiple trees multiple times."

Though the presented skin samples were useless to the vets, our lead researcher & local scientific expert, Lloyd Andonuts expressed that they looked similar to that of leprosy-induced skin peelings… only with extra fur. With this evidence brought to the police and necessary authorities, the search was broadened from a 50 km radius to a 70 km radius (Since the skin samples were from 66 km away, and the disappearing blood trails led to 68 km away. this was all the police force were offering.).this search would also involve the combined efforts of the police force, volunteers, and firefighters. the search turned out again with no actual wolf but definitive evidence that the wolf was there. this time, a den. found exactly 70 km away from the school was a crudely dug-out ditch lined with squirrel skeletons and various carrion. one standout piece of evidence was a collection of dog legs. One hind leg and one front leg were both identified as the wolf considering they matched the description of the wolf and the collected skin and fur samples. however, there were 5 other dogs legs that didn't match. each of these five were a different size, different breed with different teeth wounds at the ends of them. the legs identified as from the wolf had small skin nubs at the end of them, opposite the paws, the other legs were evidently torn from whichever torsos they came from. torsos that were found by volunteers another 15 km away. all these other dogs were maimed and mangled beyond recognition. we do not know whose dogs these are[2]. the den has also provided sizable insight into the way this wolf lived, ate, and drank. the den was scratchy and scruffy, clearly dug out by claws that were too long to be healthy. the dirt was clumped and muddled, likely due to the nearby creek running from the river. The den ran down 3 meters with a main radius of 2 meters, however, there was a small chasm around 17 centimeters wide that had a majority of the wolf fur stuck to the sides. further investigation showed that these "fur walls" were due to outstretching roots from nearby trees catching and tearing the long matted fur off. still, though, there was no wolf. There was radio silence from the Police Dept and Board of Education for around 2 weeks. just as Police Cheif Sarah Tyler was about to release a statement, new evidence had come across our desk. we see it necessary to deliver this statement before exposing the evidence in order to truly recreate what it was like to hear this from our chief of police before receiving the info.

From police chief Sarah Tyler

"these werewolf claims and severe panic over said werewolf has led us on nothing more than a wild goose chase. It has been a severe waste of time and of resources. these emergency channels are only to be used for emergencies. not children's overactive imaginations. I'd be lying if I said I would take these kinds of reports seriously in the future. A werewolf? It was preposterous from the beginning. We cannot afford to treat outrageous claims like these as genuine. We found the base of a psychopathic hobo and that's it. no werewolf to be found. When will you all just grow up?"

Moments later we were informed. They found the wolf. In the school's courtyard, they found the corpse of the werewolf underneath the playground, partially buried underneath a pile of wood chips that made up the playground's floor. a leg was partially sticking out which caused teacher supervisors to investigate, finding the wolf. When questioned, children nearby supposedly found the dead dog in a corner of the courtyard and took it to be buried in the playground out of solidarity. It would appear that the wolf was not a wolf at all, but instead, a Norwegian elkhound gone feral and rabid… and mutant. There is no current explanation for the elkhound or its behavior however multiple theories have emerged among Knudson Elementaries staff, the news team, and the children. One ongoing theory is that the dog was owned by and experamented on by "The Sawyer". a man who chops wood and taunts children from deep in the woods by whistling a tune to make the birds mess up their hair. a local legend popularized by 3rd grader James Hopper. Thanks, James. One teacher who asked to stay anonymous, claims that the dog was a plant and a result of government experiments on Petri dish growing in a further attempt to push the agenda that abortion should be something required for young women in Canada today[3]. The news team members all have their own thoughts on the subject, however, one standout belief comes from fact-checker Lloyd Andonuts who claims he believes the Elkhound's mutation comes from the ingestion of contaminated water & spacial radiation from the recent explosion at Hount Chem. Darcy thinks he was just born that way and we should stop bullying him. In any case, The Elkhound is dead now. an autopsy report proves that the death was caused by lung cancer, as well as blood loss, drowning, and liver failure. the Elkhound's lungs suffered a pleural effusion, filled with fluid, the exposed veins from torn skin slowly but surely drained it dry, its disfigured nose plugged itself with mucus, and its liver burst. the autopsy also showed that the Elkhound had enlarged jaw muscles and reinforced enamel in the teeth. as well as, an extra paw. When he was informed of the death, and the cause, & shown the corpse, & told the real species of the wolf, George Tozier was quoted saying "Aww… poor doggy.".

The proper authorities did not take action towards the situation until they had been bombarded, annoyed, and nagged about it. The situation wasn't taken seriously until it was too late. Now a dog is dead, an arm is missing, and a town is scared. Chief Tyler has not yet made a statement.

Malcolm Gray

PoniTon Local Tribune

PoniTon, Saskatchewan.

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[1] We here at the news team believe it important to note that the wolf chased this child back to Knudson elementary from 30 Km away, only catching up to him once he had reached his destination. There is currently a debate within the office about whether this was mercy or inability.

[2] Thankfully, due to this new incident a dog DNA database for the town is currently being catalogued by the veteranary clinic.

[3] The news team makes no claim of political association or belief association with any political beliefs of anything said by the citizens we talk with.

[the-poniton-local-tribune]

Chemical plant explosion linked to serial murders

By Malcolm Gray

On the 13th of August, 2024, the Hound Chemicals Chemical plant (Located on Macher St, Closest to North Bridge) was set ablaze and exploded. We covered this story back in August when it first happened, However, a month later we now have we have some very interesting additions to the story. Unbeknownsted to anyone, on the scene was Detective Todd Hawkz of the PTPD. We were privileged with an interview with the detective after he had fully recovered from the explosion. It was while he was investigating the case of the PoniTon Vampire that he found an interesting link.

PLT

"How did you find yourself on the sight?"

Dt. Hawkz

"You remember those murders back in June and July? Those serial murders where the killer would eat his victim's necks bare? Leaving just their spines holding the heads to the torso?... Those pictures circulated of one of the victim's bashed open skulls with brains dripping down from the teeth-torn jaw into their esophagus?"

PLT

"..."

Dt. Hawkz

"No, I get it. That was the case of the PoniTon Vampire. A name curated and popularized by elementary kids talking too much. Well, I was investigating these murders in the latter half of July. I was swamped with files. my desk was covered in those kinds of photos, I had notebooks and notebooks of theories and links between suspects and victims but… no dice. after some research on a certain victim, whom I will not name, I found that they often frequented a building with little security and minimal staff as a hangout spot. The Hound Chemical Plant. On a whim, I looked further into it."

PLT

"What did you find?"

Dt. Hawkz

"Turns out that was the link I needed. The place was also a hangout for the rest of the victims and was gossiped to be a mob spot. The owners were real young people who would get real buddy-buddy with some of the folks in the area. Seeing as their chemical distribution company had gone the way of Hamlet's dad, they needed another source of income… Turns out those people also cut corners while running their business. One of their employees was heavily injured in an accident I have no knowledge of. Some kind of burn or melt. Messed with their face and… Brain and… Demeanor… When I met him He had a fucking spider melted to his face. Some legs were sticking, some were not. Some joints twitched… Some didn't… One thing I knew for certain was that when he opened his mouth, that tarantula's fangs raised as his jaw lowered… Those fangs raised higher than usual for tarantulas… Its eyes could see me… That bastard had ten eyes and all of them could see me. all of them had the same soul behind them… A soul that was hungry… Starved… Famished."

PLT

"... This was the vampire?"

Dt. Hawkz

"That was the vampire."

April 31st, 2024. A workplace incident sent Hound Chemicals employee Parker Laurels down the nearby ravine to the river. His body was never found and was suspected to be swept away or at the bottom of the said river. We covered this story back in May, however, the extent of our knowledge and interest in said story was limited[1]. Now, after the explosion and the murders we know more. During the investigation of the crime scene during the latter half of August, police found strange equipment relating to the chemical plant. Custom built and highly rusted, the equipment was damaged beyond repair. fortunately, our dear Det. Hawkz shares more.

PLT

"Do you have any insight regarding the nuclear-grade equipment found in the plant?"

Det. Hawkz

"When I confronted him, The vampire immediately shed light on the situation at Hound. Launched into a monologue about how I was "Avenging the lives of pathetic murderers". I'd be lying if I called him hysterical. He worked there. He knew the deal… He told me they were experimenting. He personally never knew what for or why but he knew they were experimenting in some kind of ignorant "Because I was told to" mindset. Said the owners had a conspiratorial attitude towards knowledge. said the government wasn't entitled to it all. Wanted to know what the deal was at Area 51. Real hubris-prone scientific types. Ignorant to the fact that some things, truly, do not matter. that sometimes the "Why" Isn't as important as the what. That some messes just need to be cleaned up, rather than explained… these were the kinds of cats curiosity killed. "

PLT

"...Do YOU have any personal insight on the equipment?"

Det. Hawkz

"Don't know, Don't care. All I know was that it was some real 50's sci-fi lookin, "Beep Boop" soundin, cartoon chemistry ass shit… Besides, It's not my problem anymore. Those pricks down at the police dept can go deal with it."

Upon researching the Hound building, Det. Hawks found that all and any calls, reports, and paperwork made or done about the Hound Chem Company were immediately disregarded, ignored, and shredded. When confronting his captain about these missing reports, He was immediately fired and discharged. We emailed the police dept asking about this. we have not yet received a response. Det. Hawkz currently works as a private investigator, available at 212-664-7665, however, the case he remains to obsess over is this very story.

PLT

"... Does that mean you're going to move on from this?"

Det. Hawkz

"Fuck no. That just means I don't give a shit about that nuclear science shit. Nobody found his body. I know damn well that spider-faced bastard is still out there. you weren't fucking there- NOBODY could move on from that shit. The vampire promised me that he'd haunt this town, and until that ten-eyed mother fucker stops winking at me at night, until his fucking corpse is found and buried I will continue to ensure his rage, and anger, and hatred do not hurt this town… Hurt people hurt people, Mr Gray. I won't allow him to use his hurt to melt a fucking spider to anyone's face just because someone melted one to his.

… the police dept and news station have kept quiet about this explosion. However, our fact checker and local expert, Lloyd Andonuts states that due to the equipment inside the building and due to the nature of this explosion, a zone of exclusion should be established all around this quaint little podunk. It is without a doubt that this event will affect the people of this town extremely and without mercy. But we here at the PoniTon Local Tribune news team are here to keep you updated, educated, knowledgeable, and safe.

With that, I'm Malcolm Gray. one of the few sincere and honest folks prepared to provide the truth, no matter how grizzly or gruesome. You can trust me, as I trust you to make the most of what this newspaper has to offer. Stay safe.

Malcolm Gray.

PoniTon, Saskatchewan.

PoniTon Local Tribune.

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[1]The PoniTon Local Tribune is now under new management and employ. this new news team is dedicated to nothing else but the publics knowledge. This story marks the beginning of a new era for the Tribune. An era dedicated to our harsh reality, the publics safety, and a better understanding of this town. chronicalling this towns history and the brutal, disgusting, horrifying truth of its people.