the-prettiest-boo

[the-prettiest-boo]

Oh you mean?

[the-prettiest-boo]

impostor syndrome: Oh no what if they can all tell that I'm an idiot who's not even supposed to be here, this is terrible. goblin mode: I am the idiot that they use to test whether something's idiot-proof, and boy is this place not up to code.

[the-prettiest-boo]

#this is why im so mad about my own excitement #crocheting sucks #my wrists hurt man

they should invent a hobby that doesn't require potentially destroying your wrists

[the-prettiest-boo]

so i took out the trash today like the good house husband i am not, leaving behind the rank smell of long forgotten noodles and the regrets of two people with memory issues

i, like any good tumblr citizen, remember the tales of the person who put two cups of vanilla extract in their oven so i did the sensible thing to get out two Caps of extract

just then, inspiration struck. a bolt of lightning straight from the muses themselves, if i could use vanilla extract.... who's to say i couldn't use other extracts?

i scoured the cabinets, i knew my partner had secreted away some illicit non-vanilla type extracts for baking, and i found it.

hidden in the back of the cabinet was a lone bottle of mint extract

i emptied my two caps with abandon into an (oven safe) glass dish and gleefully set the oven for 300 for an hour

all that was left now was to wait for the sins of the mind to be purged by the mighty mint leaf

ten minutes in... starting to smell kinda like a thin mint

fifteen minutes in, i take a nice deep breath of lovely scented air and i am greeted by searing burning minty pain

i launch myself towards the kitchen, every step closer to mint hell, every orifice on my face burning with the freezing righteous flame of menthol

im fumbling for the oven mitt to rid my home of this foul demon, i pry the oven open and am hit with a blast unlike anything else

i feel what that vine kid taking shots of mouthwash feels, i was seared raw, my tits were blown clean off, and it was just me and that devilish beguiling minty fresh taste

quickly dumping the rest into the sink i ran towards the door, begging for the sweet sweet smell of un-minted air

learning nothing from this encounter, i dare to try once more, with the tumblr-approved extract this time

wish me luck

[the-prettiest-boo]

what's your "if I won the lottery I wouldn't tell anyone but there would be signs" thing? mine is getting a fully green kitchen

[the-prettiest-boo]

worrying is like worshipping the problem

[the-prettiest-boo]

she suck my excalibur until I camelot

[the-prettiest-boo]

There's so much like "Wow I've never been kissed/sucked off/etc like this before" in fanfiction I think it would be funny if there were more fics about it just being kind of mid . And then the characters who have been pining over each other forever have to deal with that

[the-prettiest-boo]

can someone hire me as a lighthouse keeper. my grip on reality is soooo stable and i will behave so normally under conditions of extreme isolation. and i promise i wont try to fuck the light

[the-prettiest-boo]

Based on a true story

[the-prettiest-boo]

really wish I could just watch a yoga video on youtube without getting bombarded with ads for lose weight burn belly fat destroy your chin fat lose 35 pounds in a month we're not a regular diet (we're an eating disorder 😉). go to hell I hate all of you.

[the-prettiest-boo]

do i ship these characters or do i want them to form a sketch comedy duo

[the-prettiest-boo]

leitmotifs never get old to me like holy shit dude there’s this melody that corresponds to this one guy and if you hear the melody it means the guy is there. holy shit. and sometimes it refers to ideas too not just guys. has anyone heard about this

[the-prettiest-boo]

I am a chronic turn signaller. People will be like “there’s no cars around.” Wrong, I’m

1. letting pedestrians know.

2. I’m doing this in case I missed a car or person somewhere, or

2b. I’m gonna be stuck at this intersection til a car or person shows up

3. It makes it a habit

[the-prettiest-boo]

[the-prettiest-boo]

[the-prettiest-boo]

my resting heart rate is six and i have thirty dollars to my name