the-real-list-of-ominous-threats - Tumblr blog

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I’m sentencing you to only consume 60s and 70s weight watchers recipes

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I will make you eat every meal out of unflavored gelatin

oh god the 1950s back again

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I am going to eat you.

dont say that some people are into that :(

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I will unwash your car

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I’m going to de-aww your tism

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I will make you allergic to salt

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I will alter your brain chemistry to make you down bad for Nemesis from Resident Evil

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I’m going to make you forget that your teacher sets weird deadlines so you think your homework is due at midnight but really it’s due at 10:30 and you don’t realize until 10:27

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I'm going to hit you with the beam that makes you really want fruit gummies (there are no fruit gummies available to you)

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I'm going to send you lame hater anons about how you're 'ruining your blog theme'

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Hey op give us the terrible Resident Evil men thoughts

This is a demand (to you) and a threat (to everyone who isn't you <3)

Leon:

Wesker:

(but like in a love way; my love for him is very very aggressive, this depicts me talking about how much I love him)

Krauser:

Middle aged video game villains who are military men and have committed war crimes my beloved

(stab me stab me stab me PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE)

Heisenberg:

my steampunk/dieselpunk king i love him so much

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

fuck it, I'm GOING to spam post about the fictional men I want and YES, this IS a threat. >:)

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I’m going to make you realize a really important deadline passed by and you forgot about it

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Fuck it guys no more threats, just Albert Wesker and Jack Krauser and Karl Heisenberg and Phillip Graves and Danny Johnson and Jonathan Crane (the one played by Cillian Murphy) and some Even Worse Ones

You guys are so lucky I’m a gimmick blog and can’t spam post about the fictional men I want

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

Much funnier if it’s the same car so yeah let’s go with that

I’m going to make you accidentally hit someone’s car twice in one month

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I’m going to make you accidentally hit someone’s car twice in one month

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

Alright everyone who’s ready for a long and horny ramble about Albert Wesker (among others)

You guys are so lucky I’m a gimmick blog and can’t spam post about the fictional men I want