the-stray-snail

[the-stray-snail]

you have to be around asexual perverts it’s good for your health

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I do love the phrase executive dysfunction bc the image it conjures is of a bunch of people wearing business suits around a long oval conference table  arguing with each other to the point where they’re getting into physical fights, but in the background there’s just a big empty whiteboard with a To Do list with one item on it and that item is “take shower”

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"you gotta play with the cards you're dealt" WRONG. i play pot of greed which lets me draw two additional cards from my deck

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the nastiest pornographers in the land are drawing your heraldic beast looking doe-eyed and lame in the jaws of my heraldic beast

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why am I scrolling . What am I hoping to find

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I know I’m not the first person to say this but fandom’s seeming need to shove any character dynamic into some kind of familial role (siblings, father-son, mother-daughter etc) increasingly feels just as stifling and dismissive of platonic love as making every relationship romantic does.

I dunno man do you view all of your close friends as siblings cause I sure don’t. and I definitely don’t think of them as parents

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told my girlfriend that if she proposes i want a secondhand wedding ring. i explained i don't want to contribute to a vanity-based industry like diamond mining, and that it would be important to me to continue marriage traditions in a way that causes minimal environmental and personal harm. she asked me if i was just trying to roll the dice on obtaining a haunted object, and i told her i can want two things.

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this pride month i want everyone to consider the benefits of abolishing the sex binary

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Basic life stuff on Father’s Day your dad may have never taught you

Men’s pants often have what’s called vanity sizing so a 32 inch waist between different brands is actually different sometimes. It’s still a good idea to try the pants on before you buy them.

A flathead screwdriver can be used on a Phillips head screw.

It’s always morally correct to simply walk away from a salesman. You don’t need to buy a mattress to be polite. Just leave. Walk away. Skedaddle.

A complete meal has fat, protein, carbs, and some kind of fruit or vegetable. A snack should have carbs and protein. That’s how you stay full for longer and get your vitamins. It’s really that simple.

Dumpster diving is legal in many countries including the US, Canada, and Australia but trespassing and property damage are illegal. If you are allowed to be in an area and can access the trash without breaking anything you can just take stuff

You should be thinking about retirement savings even in your 20s and 30s. Get a mutual fund.

If you go gambling, only spend cash and pull out exactly as much money as you’re willing to lose from the atm. Never use a credit card in a casino if you can avoid it.

You can add a layer of seasoning to a cast iron skillet right on the stove. You don’t actually have to put it in the oven every time.

To build a fire, build a little pile of kindling first with plenty of air under it. This can be sticks or leftover wood from the hardware store. Doesn’t matter. Then light some newspaper or leaves under it. This’ll help the kindling catch on fire. Then you can add a log to it. The log needs a long exposure to flames before it catches on fire.

Fresh cut wood needs to dry out for several months before it’ll work as either building material or firewood. Several years is even better.

Flower delivery for simple bouquets costs less than you think it does and makes a nice gift for people who are hard to shop for

University libraries often let the general public get a card to check things out from them for a yearly fee. This is useful to know if you’re ever doing some specific research.

To make hard boiled eggs easier to peel boil them with just barely enough to cover and let a lot of the water burn off. Then shock them in an ice bath when they’re done.

If you or your pets end up killing a venemous snake by accident or in self defense you should bury the head so that no animals get poisoned by it because the fangs can still distribute venom

Tall people who visit your house can see the tops of your cabinets and bookshelves. Clean accordingly if you don’t want people to see dust.

Annuals are plants that will die after one year and perennials are plants that live for multiple years

If you feel gross and like your life sucks maybe try getting a haircut

[the-stray-snail]

'you still listen to music from 10 years ago 🤨?' bitch if prehistoric humans had audio recording technology id be sat up here listening to grog and unga bunga's greatest hits don't play with me

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Hi! This is a rickroll. Please visit youtube dot com, type "never gonna give you up" in the search bar, then click on the first video that comes up. Thank you for your consideration.

[the-stray-snail]

Just saw a post asking how tall people are and now I want to make it a poll. Apologies to people in the fringe height categories, you do not get specifics.

I had to consult a chart for this

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Would you rather have a Phineas and Ferb summer or a Gravity Falls summer?

would you rather have endless fun forever or have satan attack you every day

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Knight who seeks to get injured in combat so she can be tenderly held by her Lady but she keeps absolutely killing it out there and she's too honorable to throw a fight

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"which could mean nothing" and other essential phrases for the modern speculator

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I hate that you can both see posts from asexuals saying "the queer community needs to be less focused on sex and sexual desire as the be-all and end-all of things" and posts from alloaros saying "the queer community needs to be more chill about hookups, sex with friends, sexual desire, and sex" and they're both right and necessary! Like. It would be easier if everyone was weird about sex in the same way. Then there would only be one problem to fix. But no. Instead sex is mandatory, but also there is a wrong way to do it (outside of romantic relationships), and you can't like it too much, but God forbid you like it too little or not at all.

I literally saw two posts that were just the inverse of each other from an ace and an alloaro within 24 hours and it's just like. How hard is it to respect people's decisions? To not make statements implying that everyone should have the same approach to sex? To not imply that anyone is having sex the wrong way or in the wrong amount (be that having too much or none at all)? I don't want either of these posts to be necessary.

It's just. Like. Exhausting that the world is full of nuance. You can't say that society either loves or hates sex. No, instead it has very rules you have to follow and I hate it.

Like, for as different as being aroallo and aroace are? They're also both the exact same. We're both doing sex wrong. Either by not having sexual attraction, or by having it without romance.