theamazinglyrandy-archive

[theamazinglyrandy-archive]

just so everyone who follows me here knows, randy now has his own blog. @theamazinglyrandy

[theamazinglyrandy-archive]

god damn it Randy

[theamazinglyrandy-archive]

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE.

name: Randy Marsh.

eye color: blue.

hair style/color: short with a slight wave/black.

height: 5′10″.

clothing style: comfortable.

best physical feature: handsome face, nice mustache.

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

your fears: having to start over, being as poor as Stuart, being unfollowed on Coonstagram by his favorite kid.

your guilty pleasure: buying useless things.

your biggest pet peeve: Sharon being a total bitch.

your ambitions for the future: to make sure his kids are independent adults so they will get out of the house then go on vacation with his wife. also turn stan’s room into his man cave.

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

your first thoughts waking up: why is it morning already, just five more minutes, I need some coffee and maybe some P.F. Changs.

what you think about most: beer, his favorite kid, his wife, money, bills, writing a new song.

what you think about before bed: i hope tomorrow sucks less than today.

you think your best quality is: musical abilities.

WHAT’S BETTER?

single or group dates: single.

to be loved or respected: both.

beauty or brains: what about fun?

dogs or cats: dogs.

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU…

lie: have to sometimes.

believe in yourself:  some of the time.

believe in love:  yes.

want someone: got her already.

LAYER SIX: EVER BEEN…

been on stage: yes.

done drugs: kind of? yes.

changed who you were to fit in: yes.

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES

favorite color: dark greys, black.

favorite animal: butterflies

favorite movie: the new star wa—home alone.

favorite game: football, minecraft, heroin hero

LAYER EIGHT: AGE

day your next birthday will be: March 1

how old will you be: 46

age you lost your virginity: 16 years old

does age matter: yes. 

LAYER NINE: IN A PERSON

best personality: patient.

best eye color: all.

best hair color: all.

best thing to do with a partner: watching a nice movie in bed together.

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE

i love: my family.

i feel: dissatisfied.

i hide: a small fortune.

i miss: how things used to be.

i wish: to be on the same page as my wife.

Tagged by: @therealjacktenorman

Tagging: @lightningjacket , @yardalexcharm , @skankhunt42broflovski and you!

[theamazinglyrandy-archive]

“You’re only saying that because he didn’t call you a loser. What if some little punk came around here and called you a total bitch or a skank? Would you be okay with that?" Whatever, he’s going to watch tv. Maybe that would put him in a better mood.

"Sharon! That kid called me a loser..." — theamazinglyrandy

@theamazinglyrandy

   “Randy, to kids adults are ‘losers’ so please stop taking what a child says so seriously. It’s embarrassing to see you get so worked up over a child throwing a tantrum and getting snippy with you.”

[theamazinglyrandy-archive]

lightningjacket:

    at first all he could do was stare– his eyebrows furrowed      at this intruder, of his home… or his mind? he quickly glances at      the join in his hand and now beginning to question whether he      was or not already yelling at hallucinations, he couldn’t of been h      -igh already, could he ?? the stuff he got in this quiet mountain t-      own had a different taste to it, and seemed to be a lot stronger      than his usual mix.

    shit, maybe he was just high. 

            ❝ –  well fuck– as long as it doesn’t get to                                        my wife, i think i’m good. ❞

    he chuckles before taking a drag.

Randy’s gaze shifts to his still raised hand in amazement. It was true! The Jedi Mind Trick did work! He couldn’t wait until he had a chance to try it at work, or maybe even on Sharon. No, he had to try it on Shelly first. Maybe then she might stop being so angry all of the time.

“I’m not gonna narc on you.”

He was too cool to do that even if he was supposed to be imaginary and couldn’t actually narc on anyone, that is if he didn’t want to blow his cover. Not that it mattered since this guy looked like he might be as high as a kite. Which unfortunately he wasn’t. There was one way to remedy that. “Hey, I know I’m imaginary and everything but are you gonna share that?”

[theamazinglyrandy-archive]

mamamarsh:

   “File a report on the kid for shooting your tires out, it’s attempted murder and, if he thinks about going after Stan then that’s premeditated assault to add to the list of things we can legally accuse him of. Let this kid screw his life up if he wants but you are not to lay a hand on him!”

“Okay, Sharon! Gau, why are you always ruining my life.”

He crosses his arms like a petulant child but she can rest assured that he will not be going out to find Scott Tenorman to beat him up. He won’t be bothering that kid any longer, after all, he was promised Broncos tickets and that was worth more than making some ginger kid cry. Besides, now everyone knew that Scott was a loser and a little cry baby.

[theamazinglyrandy-archive]

im-not-stephen-call-me-chris:

“Uh….Randy please he’s going to kill me!”

“There’s nothing I can do. Sharon’s got me by the balls.”

[theamazinglyrandy-archive]

mamamarsh:

@theamazinglyrandy (she saw ‘Chris’ comment. uh uh)

   “Randy, you lay a hand on a kid and I’ll take our’s and leave your ass without a moment’s hesitation.”

“But Sharon, that kid shot my tires out and made me crash my car. And I think he wants to beat up Stan. Do you want him to beat up Stan?”

[theamazinglyrandy-archive]

im-not-stephen-call-me-chris:

“But it would make you the coolest guy in town.”

“Wait a minute. You already said I’m the coolest.”

[theamazinglyrandy-archive]

im-not-stephen-call-me-chris:

You want to beat up a teenager for me?

@theamazinglyrandy

“That might really piss off Sharon, more than wasting money on an imported wine and realistic Star Wars costumes..”

[theamazinglyrandy-archive]

lightningjacket:

@theamazinglyrandy

              ❝ –  what the fuck– ❞

    he quickly flicks away the joint, while in his own home     he didn’t have much care for what his wife thought of     his newfound habits. but in front of others– they were     a normal family, moving into a normal mountain.     but that was the least of his worries right now.

             ❝ –  what are you doing in my house !? ❞

Well shit! 

Randy looks like a deer caught in the headlights. Never before had he come across his best bud’s parents. Actually, he doesn’t recall ever really seeing them. Maybe he had and he’d forgotten? To be perfectly fair he wouldn’t have been surprised if his friend lived all by herself because she was just that amazing.

In a calm and cool tone Randy speaks, “I’m not in your house.” His expression is even, to that point that on this rare occasion he looks focused. Slowly he raises his hand.  "You’re just imagining this.” He keeps his hand leveled. “You don’t need to tell anyone about this.”

Randy looks at Chris expectantly. So did it work?

[theamazinglyrandy-archive]

lightningjacket:

why do i have a feeling he has this picture in his wallet instead of his actual kids. @theamazinglyrandy

because it’s true, he has that picture in his wallet instead of one of his actual kids.

so, story time. since you posted this i’ve been thinking about it. i magined at some point he did have a picture of his family in his wallet until they pissed him off. then he drew mustaches and beards on their faces and wrote awful things on the picture. once he reflected upon his actions he realized he needed to get rid of that picture. instead of cutting it up or tearing it apart to toss out like a normal person he tried burning it and he almost set himself on fire. the end.

[theamazinglyrandy-archive]

im-not-stephen-call-me-chris:

“Yes! And I heard about how that ginger brat didn’t give you a high five he’s such a loser”

“I know right! I feel sorry for Jack having such shitty son.”

[theamazinglyrandy-archive]

Send 💕 and my muse will use The Love Calculator to see how compatible they are.

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[theamazinglyrandy-archive]

stephenstotchblog:

“Did I ever tell you that I think you’re really cool?”

“Just how cool? Like really, really cool? Am I the coolest guy in all of Colorado?”

[theamazinglyrandy-archive]

yardalexcharm:

♚  ||   This guy again.. the solid groan of mild irritation would surely go unnoticed. 

                ❝ I am quite certain you still have the wrong boy, Mr. Marsh… ❞

“You’re just trying to trick me! I’m going to tell your dad right now!”

With his free hand, he begins to search his pocket for his phone. It takes him almost a minute to actually get it out before he struggles with trying to type out the text to Stephen. “Oh man, why are my fingers so big. I can’t—Butters, you type it.” Randy holds out his phone for the kid to take.

[theamazinglyrandy-archive]

mamamarsh:

Sharon was amused by his constant need to open the doors for her tonight, it was cute and reminded her of when they had first started dating. Randy had been so determined to be a gentleman but show off at the same time… but they were kids then, barely adults, so of course that was how he was then. Now though? It was sweet, seeing him go through all of this to impress his wife.

It wasn’t often that she got this treatment so she would enjoy it while it lasted. She knew her husband loved her and their kids, he was just really bad at showing it at times… everyone in the family was.

She smiled at him, chuckling lightly as she nodded at his question.

   “Ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s go before the good spots are taken.”

There were times he just couldn’t help himself, he wasn’t always satisfied with his life and it was a struggle to maintain some semblance of normality. Yes, he loved his kids. He didn’t really have a favorite. Although there were moments in which it appeared that way but his daughter was so angry sometimes and it was difficult to just talk to her. He didn’t know when things turned this way. Two years ago, he was sure they got along much better.

Sharon and him that is, as they were completely neglectful at times to the point of once leaving their chicken pox riddled kids in the hospital, then running off to get ice cream. They kind of paid for that one.

Randy offers her his arm to lead her to the establishment.

He was certain any spot was good as long as he had his lovely companion with him. He doesn’t say as much because he knows he’s been laying on the charm heavily and he didn’t want her to start thinking she had to be suspicious of anything.

Once they’re inside, he asks for a booth for both of them. “So what kind of wings do you want? We can get the bacon wrapped wings.”