thebadohteco

[thebadohteco]

i'm considering jacking off... i'll have my people call your people

[thebadohteco]

ten things you can say to resolve an argument. number one I HAVE A GUN

[thebadohteco]

[thebadohteco]

[thebadohteco]

you ever just…. fall into a burning ring of fire? and go down, down, down as the flames get higher? and like it burns burns burns etc. the ring of fire lol

[thebadohteco]

got my november trends mixed up so i accidentally nutted 50k times and didn't write a single word

[thebadohteco]

iced coffee my beloved…

[thebadohteco]

#how every love triangle should end

[thebadohteco]

[thebadohteco]

wow this cannot be good for me *keeps doing it*

[thebadohteco]

The Menphina’s Madness Luxury Pre-Game Mixer

Brought to you in partnership by the Ul’dah Gil Turtles and the Kugane Koban Crushers!

Come cheer on and drink with your favorite team, the Gil Turtles, immediately before the first big game of the season! You can also arm wrestle the Crushers, what fun!

Where: The fabulous -C-asa! Balmung, Goblet, Ward 18, Plot 5! When: March 27th from 6pm to 8pm EST; right before the big game! Who: Fans of Blitzball, potential rich sponsors, and anyone a fan of fine living! Why: This is a dumb question, don’t ask it! What: A party before a game, where we all get trashed and have fun!

So get dressed in your favorite gilded fashion or your best rainbow statement, and come on down to the party zone! And bring a checkbook, to donate to the orphans!

The Ul’dah Gil Turtles and Turtle Shell Corporation recognize that there have been other games during this season of Blitzball, but they make the legal assertion that these have not been classified as “big games” due to not involving the Ul’dah Gil Turtles as stipulated in HBA regulations section A, subsection II, paragraph D, sentence 65. We reserve the right to continue to refer to this match as the first “big game” of the season, and will continue to exercise this right as we see fit. Those who have managed to read this entire statement shall be hearing from our lawyers.

[thebadohteco]

“Sometimes you need to scorch everything to the ground and start over. After the burning the soil is richer, and new things can grow. People are like that, too.”

— Celeste Ng

[thebadohteco]

Crescent & Friends 7th Annual PUBCRAWL ☠️ SPOOKY LA NOSCEAN ALL SAINTS EDITION ☠️

“Call off the search for what to do on the weekend as Crescent & Friends offer you a straight up good time! You and your questionable friends are welcomed to join us for a variety of socializing, games, performances, and ridiculousness as we celebrate All Saints Wake! If luck be on your side you may go home with more than just a hangover! ”

🔶🍺 MASTERLINK TO FOLLOW🍺🔶

Who: Those who dare to make the long trek! What: A journey through the wilds of Eorzea, stopping at each bar, dive, and tavern we pass. Immersion music will be played en route so start making a list of your favorite Halloween & drinking songs! @ Crescent-sound When:   Saturday , October 24th, 8:00PM ET (We head out @ 8:30) Where:  Begin: Limsa Upper Decks  - The Drowning Wench ( 11.2 , 11.2 ) Why: If you like to drink, schmooze, and travel this is the journey for you! If you’re on the shy side or don’t drink no problem!  We have tasty virgin drinks and we’ll fix you up with some great drinking buddies to ease you into the celebrations! Dress Theme: ALL SAINTS COSTUMES! Bring your best! There’s a contest! Poster by: @maelstromkit​

Q: What FCs are collaborating on this event?

A: Crescent’s pub-crawls are all about community! We try to pack in as many folks as possible! The more the merrier! Our hosts this time are: @crescent-ffxiv @drunkdungeoneers-ffxiv @drunkenmoogle @maelstrom-command @redlanterns-ffxiv

With afterparty entertainment by:  @savothesewercat @luckysparrowffxiv @whitherwanderer

Q: Just -what- kinds of activities will we be doing at each stop?

A: At every stop we’ll enjoy a different sort of entertainment and chance to socialize. Make sure to check out the master-link above for all info! These include but are not limited to: -Trivia -Cosplay Costume Contest -Games -Performances -Random Prizes!

Q: If a patron comes late, how do they find you if you’re going to be moving?

A: You can either track us down along the path/stops or whisper one of our hosts! You can also /tell   L’eyline Talyn, L’alor Nunh or Rastirah Kacha

★   Thank you for your help in spreading the word!  ★

[thebadohteco]

The Sixth Hell

Truth be told, East O’hteco was afraid. His biggest fear was of the unknown. The act of willingly embracing something he wasn’t sure of was almost unheard of for the man, and it was a only do in emergencies situation. Everyone had to do new stuff eventually though, and East usually overcame his fear by taking time to plan and think about the act. Everything wasn’t a hassle, new cereals for breakfast just took a plan of figuring if it sounded good based off of the flavors and his previous association with those flavors. Big things though could take longer to plan, and the biggest things... well, he hadn’t finished planning those yet.

Oil was cheap these days. It was funny, East thought anyways, that he was buying oil from this shopkeep. Years ago he had paid some urchins to steal oil from the same vendor, so he could set the brothel ablaze that had kept Elysica as a slave. He had been fickle about the idea of using money to buy something for a crime, even a just one. It had been something that took time to get used to, but he did. Helped still that oil was cheap these days.

Most of his life had been a result of his planning. It had kept his sisters and he fed as kids. His complicated plans to steal food from stalls and not get caught, Miranda’s athleticism to help pull off some wackier than average stunts. That had really been where it all started. The risk of every decision weighing possible life and death for his sisters, it was his driving force as a kid. They had grown up though, maybe not fine, but definitely okay. They had even managed to survive when East had been first taken to prison, thankfully Uncle Roys had been there to get them; even if only for a little while. Now they were all bigshots. West owned an entertainment company, Miranda had a girlfriend with a kid she adored, and Joha was a genius in training who he was sure would rule Ul’dah one day. He didn’t have to worry about the risk of their lives anymore, it had been well covered by now.

Even after getting out of prison, after his third or fourth stint, he had lost count, and becoming wealthy himself, East still liked cigarettes. He’d been seen with a cigarette on his lips most of the time, to where some companies had even sent him samples to use. He had influence on stuff like that, apparently. He’d use them, but usually just out at public events for Blitzball or -C-rescent, and only when strangers were around. He still just liked the cheap ones, bought from the same roller since he was a kid, right in Ul’dah. Something about that acrid smell of their smoke, it just made him feel good. He didn’t figure it had something to do with his fear of new things, but it might have. That required thinking about a lot of things though, and East didn’t want to do that.

Even in prison he had been a planner. It was how he survived, from a young age to a young man. Planning was the key. Making the right friends, getting the right stuff, and avoiding the wrong people. In reality it had been even how he had gotten wealthy, down the road. Making the right friend, an old drug dealer who was too old to even make his sentence and was looking to pass on what he knew. Prison had inadvertently given East years to study a trade, one he could be good at with confidence. That training was what built his cartel, his small criminal empire, his first fortune. He had even managed to turn that fortune into other fortunes, starting small businesses and charity organizations with it. It had been what gave him a safe life; ironic for a work that got him stabbed so often.

The old neighborhood was gotten a lot better over the years. He had made it the base of operations for this cartel, so he could push out all the other dangerous elements. A small safe zone among the broken system that was being poor in Ul’dah. It had been his favorite neighborhood as a kid, where they had decent luck with food, and where he had found Nald’Thal. Free bread to listen to a sermon, and three sermons meant three things of bread; which he’d trade one for some oranges for West. It was where he had found his god, learned the holy act of trade and commerce. To this day he couldn’t not make a donation to the church when he passed it. Even his final lump sum of money, a tithe of it went to the church before it went to Elysica. Some things just stuck with you.

That security had been a double-edged sword though. East felt so secure in his ability to run a cartel that the idea of running something else scared him beyond belief. Still, for Elysica, he tried. He had been trying. New business ideas came up, and they made money, but all East could see was how they could fail and they could be in danger. The fear was always still there and at times he felt like it was all that was with him. He never was the best talker, which didn’t help. He had been trying though. Then he ran out of time on a clock he didn’t realize existed.

The building was old, but it would do. The house and apartments had been cleaned thoroughly, so he couldn’t use them, would risk messing them up. That was okay though, the building was old and no one cared about it, so that fit him just fine. It was funny, in the end, he thought. Probably the biggest change he had ever made in his life was actually marrying someone, settling down and wanting to start a family, and he hadn’t taken even a second to plan that. He had just known from the instant he met Elysica that he wanted to have a life with her, his whole life.

The oil felt good on his skin. He didn’t realize it would even be good oil, but maybe all oil was good on the skin.

It had been the only time he hadn’t been scared about something new. The idea of spending his life with her was just easy. The proposal had taken forever to plan, that part he had been terrified of. But, if she had said no, he would’ve just tried again. There was always time, he had thought. Some lessons were learned in surprising ways though, so it happened.

The cigarettes smelled acrid even without being lit. Must have been something in their tobacco. Probably some sort of extra ingredient that was bad for him, or just really bad tobacco. The smell relaxed him though, so it was okay.

He still wasn’t sure, if it all meant he was a fool not to plan more for his life in marriage. Part of him regretted not planning better and trying to be more proactive in finding a new line of work. Part of him said that was stupid, wasting any time away from Elysica was time not worth anything. The latter was generally winning out.

The last cigarette was in his mouth, tip cut and ready for the flame. There was a small comfort in knowing at least he wouldn’t end up in the second hell, where Nald’Thal could see him. The sixth hell, where cowards went to freeze forever, seemed more fitting for him.

The arrival method was kind of ironic though.

“Til death, do we part.”

The flame caught on the end of the cigarette quickly, shitty things burned fast. The fire reached the oil in a moment after, consuming him quickly in a roar of flame that was over him in an instant.

[thebadohteco]

To Each What They Are Owed

“You are sure, sir?” Ruthertun asked, for the third time within the very short span of the meeting. He had the stack of papers in his hand, all signed and dated properly, ready to be executed.

“Yes, Ruthertun. Have the files executed by the end of the day,” East replied in a monotone voice. “I want everything settled.”

Ruthertun rubbed the scruff of his grey beard, glancing between the paperwork and East in the chair across from his desk. Overall the stack was standard, which was what made it a bad idea to him. Ul’dah legal matters were intricate and confusing mazes of jargon, loopholes, tax exemptions, religious orders, and every other trick Ruthertun had learned over his decades of serving as a legal expert. He had only had East as a client for a few years, and his work before this was more intricate for much smaller matters.

Today that hadn’t been the case.

It was simple. Far too simple, and it made Ruthertun’s skin crawl to even look at it.

“Sir, again, I must give my strongest legal advice against this. I have watched countless people swindled by these exact matters, just signing over all of their wealth to the person they married. Great people! All brought low by the wiles of their heart and honeyed words by some tempter. At least let me make some provisions against anything nefarious!” Ruthertun exclaimed, already recoiling.

East just sat there, shaking his head after a moment of silence. That worried Ruthertun more. He had advised East against adding Elysica’s name to his businesses from the start, giving similar warnings. East had thrown books and a chair at him for it; which wasn’t new for Ruthertun, but he expected the continued rage of a tricked heart, not the solemn surrender of... whatever this was.

“No, Ruthertun. This isn’t that, and I don’t care to explain what it is. All of my material assets are to be liquidated and set within a secure fund accessible by one person, and one person only. Elysica. O’hteco, Storme, whatever her last name becomes.” East said with that same monotone from before, repeating a list he had already stated what seemed a dozen times.

Ruthertun sighed. “The businesses of Beastly Enterprises managed by trusted corporate advisors under the auspices of this firm, with her named as sole beneficiary of profit and able to assume control at her whim. The Swansong Orphanage to continue seeing its annual investments and stipends, with increases above verified cost of living increases per year. Appropriate personnel assigned to attend your responsibilities with -C-rescent Entertainment and the Hydaelyn Blitzball Association until suitable replacements are made by management within. The estates to be maintained and kept to living standard, including the gardens, for her use at any time. All of which can be sold off immediately at her request, and nothing short of that, legally,” he finished the list for East.

“You realize this could leave you penniless within an instant, if she said the word?” He asked, all but begging East to let it dawn on him.

“To each what they are owed, Ruthertun. That’s it.”

East stood up from the chair and nodded to Ruthertun. “Let it sit for a moon, to see if she comes to collect herself. If not, send someone to find her and inform her. I don’t want her living desolate or something,” he said as he opened the door.

“Very well, sir,” Ruthertun said with another heavy sigh as he made a note.

[thebadohteco]

Ever since I was a young lad, I’ve carried a sword on my hip. Didn’t know how to use it for most of my life. These past years though, I’ve been training with real masters and learning proper ways to use a sword. I’m still learning from Kyojin and Rex, but under them both I’m learning the real way of the blade.

[thebadohteco]

ahhh “lying”…. one of the oldest tricks in the book. aside from “bashing someone over the head with a rock”