thebardsmith

[thebardsmith]

I see my beauty” he said

then he closed his eyes and

stared into the sunlight

remembering friends long gone

those who still remain

the voice of his grandmother

the first person to ever make him

aware of it.

the trees that gave

him a home and a place to become

the warmth of Spring days

the laughter of children at play

the cold city streets in Winter

the breeze atop the Ferry in Summer

he remembers dying a thousand times

and living only for less than a decade.

All he ever wanted

was a six-figure salary

a German car

and a place of his own

He found his freedom in his Creator

and it was more beautiful than he could

ever imagine.

Amen

[thebardsmith]

The Nation

Donald Trump has been elected and this poem wont age well

Because it will all be okay in the

Eyes of those who are happy

With the final tally.

For the record, this country is

Sexist as fuck.

Racist as fuck.

And this vote proved just that.  

It voted for him and set him upon the world.

Had it been anyone else

I perhaps could sit here

And say, well, maybe they got

It right.

This poem wont age well

because I’ll never believe that

but in the eyes of history

I will be proved wrong.

This is what it took to move them

To secure them.

The police couldn’t do their job

until he was elected,

now they are everywhere.

This was a final blow from America.

A hearty fuck you, to all who

stood on empathy and dared to

be saviors of an ungrateful nation.

Last night, at 2:00 am,

my neighbors set off fireworks in celebration. 

The time signifying the hour the race was called.

I will remember that with all my senses for all my days.

For their sakes, I hope it was all worth it.

I hope they feel better about the world

they are about to create.

But we are all overacting because

I’m telling you

This poem wont age well

because they will say

I was scared,

As if I didn’t see them before they chose their dictator.  

How they came at everyone violently and intently.

How they made us all feel as if we were

Inherently evil because we existed.

How they tried to make us all feel as if they were the ones who were oppressed.

I’ ve lived in their communities and I knew better

They are far from oppressed.

But… 

The real problem was the one who did not identify with them.

There was something wrong with living well

And being well and being unbothered and

taking up space in spaces where we had a right to be.

We were, harassed in natural spaces, on planes, in churches,

On trains, on cruises, in nail salons, inside of Walmarts

And shot and killed in Supermarkets,

I mean you would have thought it was 1960 what

1960 who—Hey, the motor city is burning y’all or is that

Ferguson---speaking of which--I wish motherfuckers had not let up

But I know why you did.

Because like we did after they beat Rodney King half to death

We believed them when they said they were sorry.

The nation lied to us again

As it has done for centuries. 

Oh yes, I will remember.

But this poem won’t age well

Because everyone will be happy.

The bigotry, hatred, racial harassment, and the war on

all that makes autonomous and secure within us.

All that gives us what we truly desire

the safety to be

will now be returned to us in a way that makes it more palatable

for their consumption,

now that they are free to repress the world.

My heart aches in a way that is nearly impossible to bear

To know the level of suffering that is about to be

Enacted on the people of this city, the people of this state,

The people of this country, the people of this world.

The actions taken over the next four years will reverberate for decades

It is not hyperbole

In every way I will do my part

to not take part.

But this poem will not age well. 

The victors will make it all well. 

The press will be all ears. 

It will write of how things are just fine.

Yesterday, I went to Orchard Beach to have a cup of coffee and to watch the sun.

I was set upon by a NYPD officer as if I was a criminal.

First, I was I thought that was funny. 

here I am, a 30-year professional in my craft. 

A true master of what I do.

And that makes me no less susceptible to being criminalized in my own neighborhood.

And It has been that way.

And it will be that way

Until the poor are embraced as a part of the community that must be cared for.

There are no elites among us. Not anywhere here.

Not true ones.

The accomplished among us all had bosses to answer to. 

The true oppressors---answer to no one.

Nor will they.

The nation.

The true nation

The nation I grew up in.

The nation I learned about in

Public School 200,

Thomas Jefferson Middle School

Intermediate School 10,

Public School 46,

Teaneck High School,

Howard University and Hunter College

Is no more.

We are back to square one in so many ways

So I will be Malcolm looking out the window with the joint

until further notice.

No Justice.

No Peace.

[thebardsmith]

Duo Delicious.

Let me Place my Duo Fingers Between Your legs Insert Remove You taste Delish.

[thebardsmith]

Rest

When you say goodbye I wonder if it is forever When you say good night I wonder if it is the last night. I rest my head upon my pillow And you are not here And even if you were I know your heart would be Elsewhere.

[thebardsmith]

Realized.

I am no longer in love with you And that is what saddens me now. I always loved you Even before we met I loved you when I Married her I loved you when I divorced Her I loved you when I was alone the glowing ember of my Newport The only illumination in the room A bottle of Jack Daniels keeping me company Tears in my eyes that would not fall I think I loved you with every victory And with every defeat. I chose. Yes I chose And I choose today. And that saddens me. You should know... It was never about your bra size the wetness of your pussy Or the taste of your Pot Roast It was always about you You at your most You at your least You Even when you weren't here.

[thebardsmith]

Stop

Where are you coming from? What is your name? I’m just going to search, Pat Violate your dignity Do you mind? Do you live here? Where are you going? We thought we saw you with someone. You smoke, don’t you? Which one of you copped? You work? Where? Don't worry, we aren't going to take you in. No, you can’t leave yet You look like someone we’re looking for. You look familiar You got brothers and sisters, Right?

[thebardsmith]

Just As I Am

After a night being told All that I did not have Money Muscles A healthier sense of self All that I wasn't Him All that I needed to be Anybody but me. I awoke this morning And felt the need to drink a glass of life Look in the mirror And Stamp the word "Valid" On the left side of my chest. Thank you.

[thebardsmith]

No

No. I Will Not Fall Backwards Into Your Arms Only To Find You Waving Your Hands In The Air Like You Just Don't Care.

[thebardsmith]

Unaffected.

I was ugly yesterday. I hurt someone’s feelings. They deserved it. but it doesn’t make me feel any better about it. I don’t like being this way. It runs counter to my given spirit. When people force me to ugliness I have to take time afterwards to rid myself of it. I have to eat happy things like Udon with chicken I have to see things that fascinate me like the ceiling in Grand Central station. I have to talk to people who uplift me (you know who you are). I was ugly yesterday and it hurts me to say that because I didn’t want to be I wanted to be beautiful I wanted to handle the day with grace. I was already fucking late I did not need that I did not want that So today I am unaffected…by everything. It’s not that I don’t care It’s not that what you are saying, feeling, or doing doesn’t matter. It’s just that…I’m trying to free my mind, spirit, and ass But I have to shut the bullshit down. the capacity of people to weigh you down and drag you through streets of anger, doubt and despair is too great I’m greeting folks today with raised eyebrows Responding to their issues with shoulder shrugs. Walking the streets blasting “Compton” in my headphones I simply must be beautiful when I wake up tommorrow. This is not a poem Poetry has six senses I’m only using one.

[thebardsmith]

Jazz Club

We will never visit another




These are my special places




My shrines




My haunts




Where I find myself




Where I turn myself




Into myself




And become Divine




Nikki taught me that




If nothing we share is sacred




then we should never




walk into the Blue Note 


together again

[thebardsmith]

Bad Credit

You are at the lower rungs of society she said The prepaid card you wield Is a form of mercy Nothing more Right now, you are nothing The cash you spend? That’s on you. Like Newport smokers And withdrawals at the 10 dollar ATM But your name is not what is printed on your birth certificate your worth is not what you stacked In your 401k. the deeds you committed in the name of all that was righteous. Pointless. I tried to say wait but I am more. And she said no You are 568 And drove away.

[thebardsmith]

An Open Letter

I can no longer tolerate You I have lost love Because of you I have been racked with Guilt because of you I have driven away the Most precious things in my Life because of you This is the last time I lose because of you This is the last time I Give in to my base Desires because of you I love you But godammit I love me Yes I Love Me. My earth I must let you go I know you sold your body For me to eat I know you lost your one true love And that is why YOUR burden Is so heavy I still have far to go Still so very far to go I want a love to come home to I want to work for more than Con Ed There are places and spaces I must go And I cannot take you With me. I once doubted who I was My power And what I deserve I now see myself for who I truly am through the clarity of my mind’s eyes I must let you go And for this I do not apologize.

[thebardsmith]

Furnished Room

Today I find myself asking how did I end up here? This room Is painted pure white. The walls cracked and pocked with holes I suspect the roaches will emerge from each when they invade this winter. There is a 5 drawer dresser, a closet adequate for a season’s worth of clothes, a fairly modern mini fridge, a twin sized bed, and a folding chair. It is hot and the ceiling fan oscillating above does little more than push the air around. I don’t drink in this room. At least nothing hard. This is a good room to commit suicide in. I don’t stay here long Im usually in late and out early This is no place to think. The shelter is appreciated. But I do not belong in this room.

[thebardsmith]

Sunburst

A wonder to me. With as much promise as the dawn I bathed happily in her Sunburst Taking in her rays Until I chafed. Until she was gone Taking with her an eternal glow, That would forever remind me to fully cherish her rays should she ever rise again.

[thebardsmith]

Union Station

He stood at the bottom of the steps Leaned on the hand rail And watched her as she boarded the 4 train Passengers boarding and leaving shuffled past him from every direction. He saw none of them They were all moving blurs of color. soundless. This time, he would not let go. She made her way to the middle of the car in front of a window seat as if she knew he would be there Their eyes locked for a lifetime And she mouthed “I love you” And he did the same. And the train departed en route to Brooklyn.

[thebardsmith]

Nita

Homeless and high and I just lost it all and I’m sober in front of this Intake Specialist and I’m elderly HIV, full blown, and they send me to Ward’s Island a woman and I’m sent to a shelter full of drug addicted men and I’m pushing this cart full of my shit and I can’t get up these 6 train stairs. Niggas is nasty and this bitch looked at me like I was a drink away from death. She smelled my man and deemed him septic. Unworthy of compassion and yeah, sometimes this nigga is worthless unless it’s Nita, Nita can I have, Nita, I’m hungry, Nita, and I’m trying to some peace, somewhere to sleep without roaches on the the shit I eat and we in this shelter and Niggas is nasty but I hold on to the future I see better fuck…this…shit here can’t be permanent I love him he keeps me… a bunch of shit and he keeps losing the benefit card and wandering off and not washing his ass and I am a woman with two sons who can’t save me wont save me try to save me they give me money say, “Ma, that nigga need help.” “I need you!” Help me with this cart motherfucker! Motherfuckers is lucky I don’t drink no more and I need my cocktail and we gotta get to the hospital Black need his medicine Black? Black? Why is your hand doing that? and he keeps seizing staring blankly into my eyes and I’m calling his name and I know we got to get the fuck out of here but where? Where can we go? and find peace a place to eat with my two sons but I’m staying with him he needs me more I need him too He is my husband We going to Birmingham Oh hell no, we coming back to this shit again this time will be different.