thebesthood-blog - Tumblr blog

[thebesthood-blog]

Mom with anxiety

My everlasting urge to start over, to have a chance to do things for a second time, a better time, has always been present.

This is not that odd, considering I’ve always had a touch of anxiety. I’ve always found myself lacking the ability to do everything right/perfect from the first time. Everytime there’s this feeling after a conversation, an act, that I should’ve handled it differently.

When I lay in my bed at night, I always think back, go through every step of the day to think what I could’ve done different that day. Then I remember something I did/said 5, maybe 10 years ago and my mind is lost. Sleep is lost.

I’ve dealt with this ever since I was a child. Constant questioning myself and my actions. Always wondered if everyone I knew, really knew me like I knew them. If they liked me, like I liked them. If they think I did a great job or that they, like me, thought I should’ve handled it differently. If they would miss me, if I left. A heavy burden for a child, a burden I wish my daughter won’t come to face.

If this isn’t enough, I always overthink every day stuff: I hear a plane, when I’m lying in my bed and I can’t help but wonder what would happen if it crashed on our roof. I’m driving the car and I can’t helpen but think about all the accidents that can happen. I hear my daughter cough or I feel an ache I haven’t felt before and immediatly imagine us being sick and dying.

My head never stops spinning. My husband often feels sorry for me, for bearing this weight around. But this is me and I’ve never felt any different. For me it’s normal that I can’t imagine my future, happily ever after. I go one day at a time. When I was 10 I couldn’t imagine myself turning 16. When I was 16 I never thought I would see the age of 20. And yet here I am, 26 and still standing.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my life. Even if this means I’ll have to worry constantly. And no, I can’t just stop doing that. I wish it was that easy.

Although I’m constantly wishing for second chances, there’s one thing I wouldn’t want to re-do, ‘cause it is my little masterpiece, the one thing I really got right. And that’s my little girl. The most important thing that keeps me going and brings a little piece of peace to the hurricane of my mind.

🌪

#instablog #momlife #anxiety #hurricanemind #momblog #instamom #momofatoddler #secondchances #worstcasescenarios #notcrazy

[thebesthood-blog]

I call this the "No, I don't want to cuddle and look cute"-pose 💁🏼 . . . ✨ . . #momlife #momsofinstagram #momblr #momblogger #toddlers #drama #momofatoddler #nopicturespls #lovemeback 😂

[thebesthood-blog]

Bad mom

Last week I dissapointed my mother once again. Not that I did anything wrong - but in her eyes I did. I got out with my girlfriends and I went to a festival. Shame. On. Me. What kind of a mother and wife am I? Well, a damn good one if you ask me, or my husband for that matter. I just like to go out and have some fun, every now and then. I got married and had a baby, but I did not die. My social life hasn't died. It's not that I go out every day and every week and forget I have a hubby and daughter at home. No, I think about them the whole time, I just love to dance once in a while. And I'm lucky my husband understands this. I hope for every young mom out there, that they don't feel guilty when they go out, that they're not ashamed. Because there is no need at all. We all deserve our break every now and then. Those who have children will definetly understand that you sometimes need that break. I love my daughter, to the moon and back and I could just eat her - literally, she's the cutest. But sometimes I'm pulling the hairs out of my skull, 'cause boy she knows how to push my bottons. And just because 30 years back women didn't go out without their husbands, because "that's just something you don't do". That doesn't mean we can't. If I'd believe my mother, I would have divorced my husband about 5 times already, because we go out without one another sometimes. This doesn't mean that I never go out with my hubby, datenights are just as important. A few hours, just the two of us, without sharing our food with a toddler - heaven! So my message to all young - and older mommies. Go out ladies, but stay a little bit classy.

[thebesthood-blog]

A lot of people always say my child is "photogenic".. This is an illusion people! It's only a matter of a lucky shot at the right time. Like the examples below, these are only a few of a lot I have on my phone/laptop, it's not always easy. Children, especially toddlers, don't do what you want them to do. No, they LOVE to do exactly the opposite of what you want them to do.. Haha! So don't believe everything you see on camera. But hey, they still look cute, don't they? #momlife #momlifeisthebestlife #pictures #photogenic #photagraphy #toddlersofinstagram #toddlers #toddlermom #toddlerlife #tantrums #breakingrules #noshame #noshameinmygame #dontjudge

[thebesthood-blog]

Flight of a lifetime

Yesterday we returned from our second family trip. Our first, which in my opinion was a highway to hell, was to Canada.

Not that Canada is hell, it’s more like what heaven would look like. But the trip was dreadfull. We live in Belgium, so we had to travel by plane for 9 happy hours. Everyone was being optimistic before we left - including me - saying that our toddler probably would sleep most of the flight. Ofcourse, she didn’t. Not when we left nor when we returned. She wasn’t a pain the ass neither, thank God for that. But my hubby and I did had to go all Robbie Williams on her and entertain her, the whole journey. And believe me, after 3 hours it already feels like you’ve been on that thing for a century.

As we we were entertaining our little one, I was so happy - not really - to see that there are indeed kiddies who do like to sleep on a plane. So don’t panic, it is possible. For us however, we had to rely on our ability to entertain and keep entertaining our little devil.

Luckily I was prepared. I read a lot of travel-with-kids-blogs - thank god for them! -. So I brought about 15 little toys, which I wrapped individually. And that bought us some time. Also we took the option for getting a crib on the plane. Our girl was too small to actually sleep in it, but it was perfect for her to eat her snacks and play with her toys. So we could have a little break.

The only downside was our girl’s age prevented her of getting her own seat - she had to be 2 or older - and for getting decent meals - she could only get mixed food, which she didn’t eat anymore -. So we had to share our food, which by the age of 16 months we got used to already.

Luckily the rest of the holiday was perfect. Canada is such a great and beautiful country. My inlaws live there, so we didn’t have to pay for accommodations. Our babygirl got to know her grandparents and uncle in a wonderfull environment. So after all, the road to hell was definetly worth it and turned out to be heaven.

Until we had to return home ofcourse and the whole circus began again.

[thebesthood-blog]

So we have this amazing stroller from Elodie details. I often get the question if it's a good/practical one and the answer is definitly yes. We've been using it for a half year now, I bought just before our vacay to Canada. It's very handy to take with you on a holiday, 'cause it's so compact when you fold it. It has a great storage unit on the bottom, to put your stuff, for ex. the backpack of your child, blankets, jackets,... A great bonus and the main reason I bought it, was that it is perfect for small children. Our girl was only 14 months when I start using it and it was perfect. The fabric gives a lot more comfort than most of the strollers. You can put the back in 3 diffrent positions, so you're little one can rest. The hood is nice and big, so you're toddler is protected from the sun ánd there's a little "window" on the top of the hoof through wich you can see you're little one - this is handy when you have a toddler like mine, who liked to throw out her toys/soother every now and then -. Last but not least, it looks great. The obly downside maybe is that it gets dirty rather quickly, because the wheels touch the front side of the hood - my husband blames me for it, 'cause I wanted a white one -. There is a bag that you recieve with your stroller to put it in, so you can protect your car from getting dirty and your stroller getting dirty from your car. But it doesn't really prevent your wheels from getting their dirt on your hood. But hey, for all the plus-sides this stroller has, I can live with that. I still love it and my kid looks absolutely cool in it 😎 @elodiedetails @de_gele_flamingo #stroller #elodiedetails #checkered #black #white #cool #toddlers #handy #momlife #holiday #vacay #musthaves

[thebesthood-blog]

Even if we don’t want to say it out loud, this is definitly true. Raising a toddler may seem like a walk in the park, but oh boy I’ve never been so wrong. Like a little dinosaur my girl is the overwhelming element in the room. If you hear someone screaming, crying - without tears, ‘cause that’s so pasé, or throwing her mac ‘n cheese around the room. It ‘s definitly her. And despite all the judging eyes that look at us, with disgust. I just roll with it, ‘cause what else can we do? Yes my child is dramatic, yes she has a strong personality, but she also has all the best qualities a child must have. She is kind, sweet, nice, polite. She says thank you, she says hello to everyone -and I really mean everyone, she even says hi to pictures of people. And for me that’s the most important thing at the end of the day. So what if she wants to act up from time to time? Nobody is perfect, no family is perfect, no child is perfect. So I won’t pretend mine is. I’m proud to say I have been in Jurassic park a few times, in the past few months. And you’ll be there too, if not today, maybe tomorrow, next week or next year. So hold your butts, dont be ashamed and enjoy the ride.