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"It's a Wonderful Life" Sequel

This morning, I was all set to write on something non-film related like dating or shoes. So I sat down to read my morning paper via internet and came across something interesting, "Sequel to 'It's a Wonderful Life' Announced."

After reading THIS, I am at a loss for words.  Fortunately what I lack in verbiage I can express in GIFS. 

Are we doing this? A sequel from a movie made like 100 years ago? This just reeks of unoriginality! Is there not ONE scriptwriter out there with a new idea? 

How did this pitch meeting go? 

Exec: You remember the Christmas movie "It's a wonderful life"?

Other Exec: No?

Exec: Perfect! Le'ts make a sequel!

Other Exec: You mean a remake?

Exec: Nope, a sequel.

Other Exec: Great! Let's do it

Le sigh! I.CANNOT.  I give up. 

Go ahead. Remake and sequalize (for the purpose of this post sequalize is a word) everything! Let's just go to the beginning of film history and start over.  Birth of a Nation again, Citizen Cane: Rosebud's story, His Girl Friday: the weekend edition.  I'm out of energy on this one and apparently so is Hollywood. 

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The Thirst: The Hunger Games Edition

Lionsgate is considering creating a "Hunger Games" theme park.  A theme park? Seriously? 

Should we also consider opening a "Lord of the Flies" theme park or what about the Attic of Anne Frank Park or a Hotel Rwanda Resort? "Oh, that sounds like a GREAT idea" says NOBODY!  Why? Because it is scary! Ain't nobody about celebrating cruelty of mankind.

I am a fan of "The Hunger Games".  I loved the books, I loved the first movie, I loved Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss, I just loved it! 

For those of you who aren't familiar with "The Hunger Games", it is a dystopian (opposite of utopian) novel that takes place in post apocalyptic Panem.  The Hunger Games is an annual event in which 2 kids from every district are randomly selected to battle each other to death.  It's the ancient Rome version of the Olympics.  The last kid standing is the winner (and the only kid alive.)  Pretty depressing stuff. 

Not depressing like Scandal spoilers depressing but depressing like kids dying depressing.  Not even like kids dying but kids being murdered, straight up assassinated depressing.

So imagine asking your kids "Hey you wanna go to Disney, Six Flags, Lego Land or to the Hunger Games?"  I already know the young version of myself would not be about the Hunger Games life.  

I'd be all about the House of Mouse, at least I know he ain't out tryna kill me.  Like where is the fun in fleeing for your life? 

Please don't give me but "The Hunger Games" is fictional crap because it still doesn't make it less scary.  Those kids had to be skilled with swords, bows and arrows, fight for scraps of food only to die at the end...what part of that says Theme Park to you?

Am I overlooking the obvious here?  Is there a market for this kind of stuff?  Perhaps this theme park would be used a some sort of alternative punishment that parents and schools could use to discipline their children? I'm really trying to understand this.  Lionsgate may just be trying to see how many ridiculous ways they can squeeze money out of this franchise and that is just plain thirsty!

I can keep going on these bad movie inspired theme parks.  Just in time for the holidays we have Schindler's Christmas List!

 No? Too far? *Kanye Shrug*

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Dear Hollywood Execs:

I totally understand that for each movie flop somebody looses their job.  I understand that it is a risk to make new movies with original story lines because there is no guarantee that the audience will respond.  I get all that. I get that Hollywood is a big business and money talks. I know that Hollywood has not been an art form since the 1940's. 

I get it... but as a filmmaker, I don't care! You are remaking classics and turning them into garbage.  Everything that was gold does not need to be remade.  We don't need to see seven million slave movies just because they do well in theaters.  

Up to this point, I was trying to be tolerant of this repetitiveness because I understand the need for job security.  It must be hell wondering if your next movie will fill your Lexus SUV or if your kid will be able to attend private school wearing their Gucci back packs.  I hate to think of the tragedies that will ensue if you have to cut your gardeners days from 5 days a week to 3 days! What about the weeds? The weeds dammit!

  But then yesterday you lost me!  I am minding my business and I read a story about Hollywood remaking the classic miniseries "Roots". Seriously? Roots? It's like someone said "A slave movie and a remake" and then their friend said "Brilliant! Let's do it!" *insert frat boy fist bump*

WHAT?

Slave movies? That's just depressing! There are some movies that are needed for healing and history.  Why white Hollywood exec men do you want to replay the most depressing part of U.S history over and over? Side note, nobody wants to see another Trail of Tears movie either. Don't mistake our desire to be taught this in history class as a request to be entertained by them.

My request...take a risk.  Find a really really good script that you like. One that gives you butterflies on the inside and obsess about it.  When you come across that script, that's the one you should make.  This is the script that will give your life meaning and break you from the chains of mediocrity.  Yeah, those movies you are making now are at best okay. So you want to do better than okay, you want to be great.  Pick up a script, I suggest you start with mine, get it made and feel good about yourself.  You may feel so good that you will get in the practice of doing at least one of these films a year.

But seriously, contact me, I have a great script...

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#ToastTip Sometimes we are so overly critical of a situation we forget to appreciate the beauty of what’s right in front of us.

Actress Melissa McCarthy recently covered Elle Magazine’s annual “Women in Hollywood” Spread.  The first thing I said when I saw the cover was “WOW! She looks amazing!” For the record, I’m pretty sure most people said the same thing however there were a few critical folk who made a stink about the fact that Melissa did not show enough skin. They feel that the curvy diva should have shown more skin and flaunt her curves. 

I am all about women dressing for their bodies and not being ashamed to flaunt what God gave them. I think there needs to be a lot less fat shaming and more self love. I also think there is nothing wrong with being classy and keeping things covered at times.  In this photo of Melissa rocking this charcoal Marina Rinaldi coat is absolutely classy, feminine and smoldering hot!  This woman looks like a glamazon!  I realize that I may be overreacting because I've never seen her dressed this way.  I instantly think “Bridesmaids”.  

So no, plus size women should not be confined to muumuus and large flower print smocks.  And yes plus size women should not be afraid to dress sexy and feminine (check out my fave fashion blogger, Gabi Fresh).  But when the time calls for it, less can be more.  So stop hating on what’s not and let’s celebrate what is.  Not to mention Elle put a plus size woman on their cover…that is rare in fashion, so I salute!

   Reblog

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Lamar Odom said he doesn't have a crack problem. Whitney Houston said the same thing. #crackiswack

@TwillaAmin

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#ToastTip if you do something for someone who is not willing to do the same for you, you my friend are being USED.

Yeah I said it, USED.  You are being used.  I mean it may sound like a harsh rule especially considering that most parents do for things for their kids all the time that their kids would NEVER do for them.  Same thing goes for God...he looks out for us so much but we don't even want to follow his commandments.  

But most importantly in friendships or relationships.  If you are always paying for a friends meal but that friend never pays for you, you are being used.  If you always drive but your friend never drives or offers gas money, you are being used. If you always have sex with them when they want it but they don't reciprocate, you are being used.  

People tend to take kindness for weakness.  They think that you won't stop being the nice person that you are because you are well nice.  Whenever you feel like you are being used, stop being the doormat and stand up for yourself.  Just say "No".  You don't have to always be there for them. In most cases you will find that life goes on when you decide its okay to do you.  If your friend gets mad at you, they are a douche bag.  

You are in control of your situation.  You don't have to be used. Nobody wants to be the welcome mat that says "step all over me because i like to help people" and nobody deserves douche bags as friends unless they happen to be douche bags too.

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I have to admit that I am maturing to the point that I find rap music slightly unnerving, I don't recognize the faces of anyone on MTV anymore, and I thought that Macklemore was the name of a whole grain snack.  I've also been commenting on boys pants either being way too tight or way too baggy.  I am nauseated at the sight of super short shorts...like seriously why must you display your butt cheeks for the world to see?  

I guess the very things that entertained me in my 20s does not serve my interest in my 30's.  Kind of the same way that we let Seventeen magazine and the Teen choice Awards fade as a distant memory we are to let Bath and Body Works go for the sake of real fragrances.  

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Single and not so Satisfied

#ToastTip If your family always ask you if you have a boyfriend and your answer is always no, start lying before your mother post your phone number in the church bulletin and local paper.  

The topic of relationships is one I try to avoid [please see my previous post].  Most of the times I think relationships are beautiful other times I think its the world's way of bringing constant shame to the fact that I am 30 and single.  I kind of feel like every time a wedding bell rings, I lose a piece of my soul.  Anniversaries cause me to break out it sweats and engagement announcements give me migraines. It's a serious condition that I have but I'm dealing with it.

Meanwhile, knowing all these facts about my condition; those closest to me insist that the right man is out there for me and they are on a search.  I am also ashamed to admit that my parents have also joined this mission.  It's looking more and more likely that my wedding will be an arranged one.  Learn from me, if you are single and learning to be satisfied, then avoid showing any dissatisfaction to your parents, cousins, siblings and best friends or else you will become their personal project. 

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Yeah RiRi is giving the stank face but her friend is owning it! Simply unamused. LoL!

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#ToastTip Dream. Plan. Go!  "A goal without a plan is just a wish." 

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Puff, puff, stop!

#ToastTip  Smoking, like drunk driving, is stupid. 

I honestly don't want to sound like I'm trying to rag on people who smoke.  I understand that smoking not only releases stress but is also a very addicting bad habit.  I get that like any other drug, alcohol or sugary food addiction it is a hard habit to break.  So I kinda empathize but...

Yesterday, I had the misfortune of someone sitting beside me on the bus who smelled like an entire carton of cigarettes.  It was so bad that my nose started burning, eyes watering and I started coughing.  I wasn't experiencing 2nd hand smoke, I was experiencing 3rd hand smoke.  What? Third hand smoke? Is that a thing?  Yes it is! It is when smoke residue clings to hair, clothes and walls and another party is effected by it. It's cancer causing and studies suggest it can deform your DNA so its kinda of a big deal.

After having this experience on the bus, I've come to realize that for me smokers are on the same list as drunk drivers.  Both are pretty irresponsible.  Like drinking by itself to some degree is okay but DRIVING while intoxicated is not only STUPID its SELFISH!   The moment you decide to drive your car while under the influence you have put everyone on that road in danger.  Smoking is the same thing.

Even the most considerate smoker is putting others at risk.  If you smoke only in your own back yard away from everyone.  The toxins from your smoke linger. So when you pick up someone else's child, the smoke is effecting them and exposing them to your bad habits.  Like I said I get the pathology behind smoking.  I also know that people who smoke feel like they are under attack but with all due respect I ALSO FEEL LIKE I AM UNDER ATTACK WHEN YOUR SMOKE TOXINS ATTACK MY NASAL PASSAGES AND LUNGS!!!!

I get it, you don't give too much of a damn about your health so why should your give a damn about mine?  But if you want me to understand your habit can't you understand why I'm so offended by it?  #ThatIsAll

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I was ready to settle for counterfeit love only for it to be sold out!

Anyone who knows me, knows I want a Cartier "Love" bracelet.  Of course it's not the season for me to splurge on such luxuries. So when my bff came across a lovely version on sale for $10.00 she thought of me! I went to make my purchase only to find out that everyone is willing to settle for knockoff love. Guess I will just wait for the real thing! 

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Can I get medical coverage for retail therapy?

#ToastTip and possible surgeon general's warning:  Living on a budget can be detrimental to your health

I want a pair of Manolo's.  I want a fancy gym membership. I want to eat sushi. Go to the grocery store and buy grass feed steak, chia sees and Perrier water.  I want to go get my nails done weekly and add new shades to my mac eye color palette.  BUT I CAN'T because I live on a budget.  My budget is helping me save for things like a car and pay off things like student loans.  

But sometimes, I don't want to be responsible! Sometimes, I just want buy what I want! All of this responsibility is stressful.  Living on a budget and keeping a constant eye on your bank account is worrisome.  And there's only one way I know to fix it... SHOPPING

Retail therapy is called THERAPY for a reason.  It's an outlet to release those things that are burdening you.  And we all know its not good to keep stress bottled inside.  Stress can make you lose hair, gain weight and smoke cigarettes.  Weight gain can lead to obesity, diabetes and in some cases cancer.  Cigarettes definitely leads to cancer and if not, bad gums.  So instead of stress leading to my bad health, I think its best that we just shop.  And because retail therapy helps avoid a cascade of medical conditions, I propose that all retail therapy is covered by medical insurance.

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I'm pretty sure that's verbal abuse...

#ToastTip- Guys (and ladies too) if you want to get to know a girl better, don't call her a b*tch or a ho before you ask for her number.

True story.  I'm on set, hanging with friends and up walks this guy.  I'm not going to say he was gorgeous but I'm not going to say he was ugly either...but he was certainly a guy that needed to have a great personality if he wanted to get someone's phone number.  We talked for a minute, then he started talking about his music and his plan to become a rapper.  

I should insert another #ToastTip here that says something like "Guys, if you are over the age of 30 and still pursuing a rap career...then stop." I get it, if 2 Chainz can do it, then so can anybody, yeah...no...but I digress.

He asked me if I wanted to hear some of his music.  Being the nice person that I am, I said "Yes."  In the first four bars, my ears were assaulted.  This man talked about drug dealing, killing people, calling women b*tches and gold diggers and everything else.  AND then had the nerves to ask me how I felt about it. AND then asked me for my number so he could take me out. 

Sir, are you crazy? I'm pretty sure you just degraded me and all of woman kind.  I'm pretty sure you just told me how you feel about women. I'm pretty sure you just told me that you hate me and would be disrespectful to me if we ever did date.  Soooo what makes you think I want to get to know you better?

In the first few minutes of our meeting you degraded me and asked for my phone number.   Isn't that like verbal abuse? 

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Come out the closet!

#ToastTip- If you are going to be bold enough to share your racist, sexist, homophobic opinions with the world then please be bold enough to NOT be anonymous when you share.

Have you ever scrolled down the comment sections on youtube or after some article on facebook? If so, then you know the type of comments that can occur. Many of them are offensive on every level.  People spew so much hate in the comfort of their own home right behind the computer screen because they can be anonymous.  And these people pick on any and everything they ever felt that they might hate.  Blacks, Asians, Mexicans, gays, old people, children, cats, disabled pets, World War II Vets, Oreos...nothing is off topic for these people...

The level of online hatred is rather disgusting.  I'd rather people be vile and rude to my face instead of hiding in their anonymity....at least I know how you feel. I'm encouraging people to come out of the hatred closest.  Be who you are! I'm sure you will either feel way better for being true to yourself OR maybe you will realize how dumb you really sound when your ignorant ways are posted on on of my favorite blogs, Public Shaming.  

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You can't clean up a dirty mess with a bloody rag

#ToastTip- If you don't want to be seen as a bad guy then don't KILL people.

George Zimmerman's Rescue Plot Appears to be Fake *insert shock face*

Regardless of how you feel about the Zimmerman verdict, we all agree that he looks like a smug douche.  And whether or not you agree if he was right or wrong, we all agree he should have sat his cop-wanna-be-helpful self in his car.  Now that he is a free man and thousands of his fellow Americans are protesting his right to freedom, he feels that he needs a good image overhaul.

Insert horrific car accident here.  

George pulls the family out of the burning car and saves their life. It's terrific! This guy has a track record of being a real life hero...he's like Superman without the tights, the vest, the supervision, the good hair, etc.  What are the odds of this happening right after the verdict? This guy is great! I love this...

What? What is that? This is all made up? You had nothing to do with the rescue?  Wow Georgie boy...you really are just a douche and everyone still hates you. 

Now please go and take a long seat down. 

What do you think? Staged or not staged? Douche or not douche? Please share your thoughts.

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Because Condoms don't work?

#ToastTip- If you don't want another baby's mama then please STOP SLEEPING AROUND

A vasectomy Slim Thug? Really?

I am all for birth control methods but its something super irresponsible and unattractive about a grown man who decides to snip themselves because they don't think they can control their man apparatus.  If you are NOT married and young enough to one day get married, your future wife just may want kids...the fact that you made a life long decision based on inability to control an impulsive desire has now impacted your future wife.  I could be exaggerating but I am not...

Jay-Z did at one point say, "Me give my heart to a woman? Not for nothing, never happen. I'll be forever macin" Then like 6 years later he married Beyonce.  So what in that period of time, Jay said I'm not getting married and I don't want to deal with a baby's mama...let me snip my junk ??? Then we would not have a baby Blue Ivy.  

But then again, there are some people with the proven track record that demonstrates their inability to keep stop sewing a seed or to wear a condom or to have sex with females that take birth control pills.  For those men, I say SNIP AWAY!