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Chemo round 2
Had my second chemo treatment yesterday and while I was waiting for my ambulance back home, I noticed my hair has started falling. I had already cut it short, so now it's time for the shave.
Time to double down on my sewings for stylish bonnets.
14 rounds to go...
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It's 6am and I've been up since half past 4. I have an appointment at half past 8 for blood tests to see if my first round of chemo did anything. The ambulance transport will pick me up in an hour.
Why am I up at such an early hour? I don't know, I guess it's the idea of not waking up in time, so my mind jerks me awake way before my alarm does.
Being in the early stages of cancer treatment is a huge unknown. Is it working? Is it not? WIll the upcoming exams reveal anything else to worry about?
I'm not one to worry about the future, I'm one of those "tomorrow we'll see" kind of person, but the uncertainty ends up gnawing at you...
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Ramble #3
Don't come talking to me about cherising my mother, because I will miss her. Don't come talking to me about cherising my father, because I will miss him. I have neither of them, because of their own choices. They're alive, but dead to me. Sadly, mother lives in this house at the expenses of me and grandma. I can't do anything, because legally it's their house and I get nothing. In fact, I should be thankful they "let me live" here. Fuck unsupportive families. Fuck families who never wanted you around, but need you to do what they need. I'm fighting cancer, I have family members around me, but it's the same thing as being on my own and I give full credits to me.
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Washing done, went to have a rest. Of course I can't. Family doesn't understand that I need plenty of rest. By "Family" I mean a so-called mother who said I got cancer because I don't go to church, and a gradndmother who only regards herself as the voice of reason and all things right. So yeah, I'm almost a middle age woman at the orders of "mommy" and "grandma".
I really should start writing my boring autobiography...
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Day 4
It's been 4 days since my first chemo and I feel bleh. Mind empty, I feel super tired, my heart wants to jump out of my chest, and all I did was talk a little and put some washing in the machine.
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