thebuginthecornerofyourroom

[thebuginthecornerofyourroom]

I tap the mic. “Most people don’t want to crawl down your chimney and steal your dog.”

the crowd murmurs uncertainly.

“If someone wants to steal your dog,” I continue, “there are easier ways to do that. They don’t have to crawl into a chimney.”

Murmuring intensifies. People stand in their seats and begin to boo.

“People disguising themselves as chimney sweepers and stealing dogs is not a rational fear,” I shout. “Literally anyone could steal your dog. Why make sweeping chimneys illegal?”

“I have a list of chimney sweeps who stole dogs from parks!” Someone yells, throwing a shoe.

“You seriously think no chimney sweepers could possibly ever steal from a home?” Another cries.

“Only a dog thief would even want to crawl into a chimney to begin with!” Says a third.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. They are all so fucking stupid

This is a metaphor

[thebuginthecornerofyourroom]

[thebuginthecornerofyourroom]

Gonna try horny posting ok don't make fun of me

[thebuginthecornerofyourroom]

quiz: why do lobsters have one claw bigger

[thebuginthecornerofyourroom]

the funniest and most tragic moment in steven universe is the scene that implies that Pearl pulls bitches like a professional dog walker but doesn't know how phones work so her place on earth is being a life-changing futch fling for every dyke on the east coast there's probably a gay bar in maryland where they talk about the twiggy bird chick that eats milf pussy like it's the last edible thing on earth and they dont even know about the city full of thousand year old neon lesbian amazons who are pent up 24/7 from The War and leaving room for jesus cause they're always hanging out with their softboy nephew who might be the second coming of christ

[thebuginthecornerofyourroom]

Sometimes you have to understand that not everybody can run entire tridimensional simulations in their head

[thebuginthecornerofyourroom]

[thebuginthecornerofyourroom]

My NSFW Catgirls zine.

[thebuginthecornerofyourroom]

[thebuginthecornerofyourroom]

Just had to block fleshengine because it got mad at the tags I left on its post abt the whole “the US is 50 countries in a trench coat” like girl I’m sorry you said something extremely racist. Shut up

[thebuginthecornerofyourroom]

Pro tip! If someone ever says they would fuck their own clone, you can make the conversation different by saying you'd also fuck their clone.

[thebuginthecornerofyourroom]

gave her a ciggy :3

[thebuginthecornerofyourroom]

pasta expands and spinach shrinks. if we could have them mate we may be able to creayte a food which does not change at all when cooked

[thebuginthecornerofyourroom]

Europe is so old that I (Spaniard) can shout to another person "FRENCH!" and the extensive recorded history performs the insult for me

[thebuginthecornerofyourroom]

[thebuginthecornerofyourroom]

[thebuginthecornerofyourroom]