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Morgue is an amazing teacher. This video they recently came out with finally got it to click in my head what reality is and what a mathematical reality actually is. I can see HOW waves can create the Holos now instead of just understanding it to be true. I highly suggest watching this video in its entirety, more than once even. There is SO much information but Morgue does an amazing job making it digestible for most.

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there is a level of seduction that exists beyond the body. something less tangible, and perhaps more potent. anais nin understood this idea about how desire does not begin with touch but with language, perception, and the sharp electric pull of a mind that challenges and excites you. in her journals, desire is not just a physical hunger but a hunger of the intellect, an unraveling of thought before an unraveling of the body. to be drawn into someone’s mind, to feel their thoughts press against your own, can be more intoxicating than any physical closeness.

—Caitlyn Richardson, 'can intellectual intimacy replace physical desire?', in milk fed

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Verena Kast, The Dynamics of Symbols: Fundamentals of Jungian Psychotherapy

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The Source [of creativity] is out there. A wisdom surrounding us, an inexhaustible offering that is always available. We either sense it, remember it, or tune in to it. Not only through our experiences. It may also be dreams, intuitions, subliminal fragments, or other ways still unknown by which the outside finds its way inside.

RUBIN, R., The Creative Act. A Way of Being. NY. Penguin Press. 2023, p.16

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Some photos from the weekend | The universe doesn't stop so I can't either. My son and I went on his first legit hike this weekend and he did so well. We went to the craft store and bought a bunch of supplies. Artistic creativity has been flowing more freely within me lately. We painted and colored, above is the stool I painted for my plant room.

My focus continues to be directed very inward. I am missing a lot that I wish I wasn't (I've missed like three weeks' worth of Nexus and both the Oculus Livestreams). I love the community, they are the only ones I've spoken to that understand and already know what I'm trying to say. I just don't have the focus for studies right now although I still am actively reading and researching. Even if I'm not socially active, my thoughts are always around reality. Although it's hard sometimes to have the eyes that see and the ears that hear, I would not trade it for a more peaceful and ignorant existence.

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I have often been asked where the archetype comes from and whether it is acquired or not. This question cannot be answered directly. Archetypes are, by definition, factors and motifs that arrange the psychic elements into certain images, characterized as archetypal, but in such a way that they can be recognized only from the effects they produce. They exist preconsciously, and presumably they form the structural dominants of the psyche in general. They may be compared to the invisible presence of the crystal lattice in a saturated solution. As a priori conditioning factors they represent a special, psychological instance of the biological "pattern of behaviour," which gives all living organisms their specific qualities. Just as the manifestations of this biological ground plan may change in the course of development, so also can those of the archetype. Empirically considered, however, the archetype did not ever come into existence as a phenomenon of organic life, but entered into the picture with life itself.

Collected Works of C.G. Jung, Volume 11

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Oracle by altioraem

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My will has manifested increasingly when I realized I was the one in control. When I realized only I could make my desires into reality, it also showed me that I was the only one stopping myself (in most cases).

We are divinity, we are the universe, we are Source.

My son and I saw this bee on a dandelion and it reminded me it's better than okay that we haven't mowed the grass in maybe a month. It has never looked so luscious actually.

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My mother sent me some pictures of my grandma and myself. Most of my youngest days were spent with her until about ten or so, before she started dating the man she would go on to marry. My grandfather passed away right before my second birthday so I don't remember him much. I do remember watching my grandmother, as any widow would, struggle with the aftermath. ANYWAYS, I found that pairing my own pictures of myself with my son similar to ones my mom sent me was both healing and fun.

I believe we as humans have a tendency to forget that we are all living *this* lifetime for the first time. I say it this way as I have always believed in reincarnation. Although we live many lifetimes we don't consciously remember them nor the lessons we learned along the way. Growing up I was very hurt with the distance that grew between us. Although I'm not as hurt now, I acknowledge it was a relationship that I wish had meant more to both of us. I wish she hadn't married her husband (never was a fan, he isolated her very much from us), I wish I had gone to see her more when I got my license, or at all before I left the state. She passed away five days ago but I haven't seen her in seven years. After she had her first stroke her husband made it near impossible to be around her, especially during the pandemic (which was when we moved).

Other healing practices I participated in today: transplanting my four bonsai seedlings and seven Alocasia Pups, wrote a list of memories and ways my grandma impacted me, touched base with my parents, read more. Mostly I'm proud of myself for not napping. It is so easy for my depression to weigh down my day.

What grounding hobbies or practices do you utilize?

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Some new books came in the mail for me today! The three in the middle are quick reads and very inexpensive so it was easy to add them on as the topics piqued my interest. The Secret Teachings of All Ages is going to be a long read but I am so excited for it when my head is a little more clear. I'll probably read the rest first. I haven't picked up Cosmogenesis in a while but I think I will wait until we begin covering it in Nexus Academy. I truly enjoy following along that way and it's a good way to dedicate time to two separate books. In the meantime as I've mentioned previously I am really loving The Creative Act: A Way of Being. It's a very easy read so I will likely finish it before moving on to anything else.

All that being said I also got some other materials to help me express with my hands: my tiny nursery pots came in to transplant all of the Alocasia corms I have been growing as well as my small bonsai pots for the bonsai seeds that have grown into seedlings. Actually working with my plants is therapeutic as it helps put me in a near meditative state. It helps me tune more into the moment and block out the static, allowing me to be more grounded (a good hobby for me to express my earth element in alchemy). The reward of seeing my plants thrive is so fulfilling. It is also a great activity for my son to join in and learn.

My boss told me to take tomorrow off for bereavement, so I will be doing that at home while reflecting on memories of my grandma.

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I think I've been utilizing my left brain a little too exclusively the last few months. Although I began to write creatively again, painting (also coloring or drawing) allows me to turn the noise off for a bit. I'm thinking this may be another reason why I'm so mentally tired lately.

My son got a Micky Mouse watercolor book, which I enjoyed doing with him. When I was younger and learning watercolors for the first time, I did not excel with it. In fact it ended up being my least favorite type of painting.

This is the first tutorial in the book as well as the best watercolor painting I think I've ever done.

My grandma liked flowers very much so I think this is a nice tribute to her.

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I'm really enjoying this book! The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin. Although I've underlined and highlighted quite a bit, this part particularly. My entire life I have always felt things so deeply and saw things differently than most everyone else I was surrounded by. I did feel very isolated, labeled as oversensitive. But those things that I once considered weaknesses and flaws have truly transformed into a beautiful characteristic about myself. It has helped me truly experience life, really feel it.

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The stars had whispered that Time would grace me. They said I would find strength through the storm. The analog-I in my head as a child was so wildly different from where I found myself then, how would I ever reach her? How much time did they say I have?

Thirty-four years from the birth of the star did it reach its full glow. Scathed from meteor showers and astroid belts yet too bright to tell. The hum resonates from deep within its core, a frequency that is found in everyone and everything. Fractured into infinite pieces, this light, these frequencies, scatter, settling inside unsuspecting vessels. Our divinity is inside each and every one of us. My Innerstar has come to its highest awareness yet while also continuing to understand I truly know nothing at all.

Thirty-four years it took Time to grace me with Gnosis, followed by peace both inner and outer, rationality and truth, awareness and understanding. I celebrate the successes I have manifested for myself, my family, and my friends. Acceptance is transcendent. Life changing. I am thankful my story has led me here and I look forward to writing more pages.

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It is important for us to utilize the learning resources we have available to us. Considering the current happenings in the U.S. it is our responsibility as its people to learn what our rights are, when they are being violated, and what we can do about it. We cannot achieve a teleocracy if we are subdued by a dictator of any kind.