thecatitbittingmeee

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My favorite Naruto fanfic trope: there is one (1) braincell in Team 7 and if Kakashi isn't holding it, Sakura is, no one else

You are so so correct anon. I just had to visualize it hehe >:3

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You thought I was done with Shikamaru, huh? Hohohohohoho 🤭

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since summer is late this year, i'm in an autumn-winter mood

(づ￣ ³￣)づ

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TenTen sketch

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He will warm up to you eventually.

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im entirely enamored by his silly and homosexual ways

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List Of: Some Of My Naruto Head Cannons

Hinata (little stalker she is) is as much of a ichiraku ramen regular as Naruto is, because she knows he goes there all the time so she likes feeling close to him in that way

She discovers she really really likes ramen.

She is never ever there at the same time as Naruto until they have a date there

Sakura was one sided academic rivals with shikamaru— she never told anybody, and certainly never got any acknowledgement from him.

But she knew that shikamaru was always holding back and under-stimulated even when his test scores came back in the solid middle ground of the class average, and she could never shake the feeling that if he tried he would blow her out of the water

Uchihas who have recently activated their sharingan used to undergo really strict mission debrief parameter training, because otherwise they would talk about any and every perfect detail they could remember

This is also why Sasuke tends to give very minimal reports or just let some else do it entirely, because if he has to give details, he starts talking about the weather and the angle of the sun and wind speed and local fauna and the exact amount of wear and tear on his opponent’s shoes

Technically useful info, but also not really mission debrief critical

Ino tends to befriend people who she thinks she can help out in someway, major ‘I can fix them’ complex

Usually this eventually leads to these people feeling resentful for feeling like a pet project

Shikamaru and Chouji tend to exacerbate this by treating her new friends as different or temporary, because they usually end up leaving her to strike out on their own and they’re preliminarily defensive

One of the reasons why Gai wasn’t worried or questioning his rivals sensei skills and team dynamics is because team Gai used to be way worse than team 7

Neji looking down on everyone made Tenten specifically out for his blood. She would spar with him with kill shots, which he would deflect, but still

And Gai attempts to discipline Neji for his cruel remarks and negative attitude were really ineffective, which made Tenten respect him less as a teacher and authority

Neither of Lees teammates respecting Gai made him double down on his admiration and adoration of his sensei

Lee claimed Neji as a rival, but Neji not acknowledging him made him more determined and train to an unhealthy and obsessive degree and also ignore Tenten as an equal teammate and potential friend

Tenten would do more and more independent training without supervision, because she was fed up with the disastrous team dynamics

She almost killed her self doing seal experimentation on her own, and then after learning from that particular incident, tried to use the same technique to knock Neji down a peg in a spar

They sort out their differences eventually, especially when Neji learns a bit of healthy fear and respect for Tenten, and Tenten sits Lee down to take breaks and train responsibly after watching him almost fall off hokage mountain on a morning run, and Gai cements his skill and authority during a particularly stressful mission

But it was touch and go there for a bit, the Naruto’s match with Neji certainly didn’t hurt

Sakuras dad was wearing his hair in that five spiked style when her mom told him she was pregnant, (it was unrelated, just a silly bet with a friend) and then by ridiculous happenstance he was also wearing his hair like that the day Sakura was born.

He decided to wear it like that pretty much everyday after, and he calls it his ‘lucky dad hair’

Fuck, marry, kill, is a real game but more civilian. Most ninja play Seduce, Assassinate, Interrogate

Different but similar, ��Kunai, Shuriken, Senbon’ is a drinking game where you have three different targets and have to pick which you kill with what. It’s encouraged that you really consider which weapon will be best suited to combat against each target and in what way.

There are certain housing areas in konoha that have lower rent because they are frequently used by ninjas for roof hopping at any and all hours of the day, which bothers tenants and lowers property value

Before sealing fell out of common knowledge, you could make some good extra cash making deals that solved this issue for tenants. But most would make the kind that required maintenance or reapplication, because they were trying to make money here cmon

Shikamaru’s eyes actually look a lot more like his moms, doe eyed and perky, but he constantly half-lids and droops his eyes to cultivate the bored/dangerous look. And also to emulate his dad

When he was younger, he would lose control of his face if he was genuinely interested or curios about something, leading to him looking his most adorable and sweet when in situations that tend to cause stress to everyone else besides him

Because so many people would Barr Naruto from various areas and establishments, either outright or just by saying that kids aren’t allowed there when it’s really just him not allowed there, means that he has a very poor concept of places that are genuinely forbidden to enter. The divide between ‘area im not allowed in because they hate me’ and ‘area I’m not allowed in because I don’t have clearance / not my jurisdiction’ is pretty much nothing to him.

This is compounded by the fact that people never seem to respect his space or possessions when he tries to prevent them from being messed with, so clearly only stay out/away if you stop them with force

So if he can sneak in, he’s allowed because they didn’t try hard enough to keep him out, and if he can’t sneak in then maybe he needs to try harder or maybe he really isn’t allowed

Look up a vid of foxes laughing. Naruto has 2 different laughs, one for the public the acceptable laugh. And the fox laugh.

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Terrible Naruto Headcannons that I Think Would be Funny

Gaara’s black eyeliner is actually an unsettling amount of eyelashes

Gai and kakashi’s ridiculous rivalry is actually a bit that neither of them are willing to admit to being overplayed yet. They’re not rivals they’re just committed to the bit.

Kakashi isn’t actually super fast at hand seals. He doesn’t need hand seals at all. All that hand moving is just him stimming.

Since using the dead demon consuming seal locks the user and target’s souls in the shinigami’s stomach to fight for eternity, Hiruzen Sarutobi was stuck sitting next to the disembodied arms of orochimaru since that’s all he could grab. The shinigami was so embarrassed for him he just let the guy go to the pure lands which is why he was able to be edo tensei’d during the 4th war.

Minato asked the shinigami really really politely to get out but he had to take the nine tails yin chakra with him like when ur parents make u take ur younger sibling when u go out.

Nobody in naruto has ever fucked except for Genma

Yamato has left logs lying around all over konoha at Kakashi’s request just so it’s always a log that kakashi kawarimi’s himself with. Kakshi requested that they all be identical.

Alternatively! It’s always the same log and Kakashi takes it with him everywhere. It was a birthday present from Yamato

If Canada existed Yamato would be Canadian.

Hiruzen and Danzo are constantly on the brink of fucking nasty at any given moment of their interactions and the tension has in fact killed a fourth, unnamed council member.

Gaara doesn’t actually stop being a psychopath when he becomes desert ninja president it’s just that he’s so busy simping for naruto he forgor 🥺

Tenten is actually the protagonist of a second, secret manga occurring at the same time as Naruto which is why she rarely shows up. Every time she’s in a naruto episode it’s actually filler for her own story.

Yeah, Sakumo fucked the moon via @sloaners kagumo crack headcanon. Kakashi gained absolutely zero of his mother’s abilities. Hagoromo is actually kind of embarrassed they’re siblings. Kakashi feels the same way for the opposite reason

Nobody ever taught kakashi how the bank works and at this point he’s too afraid to ask which is why he makes everyone else pay for his meals. He has no idea how to withdraw funds.

The trees talk to Yamato but it’s never anything helpful just passive-aggressive mom comments about what he’s doing with his life. For this same reason there’s actually zero wood anywhere in his apartment.

Gai is faceblind. It’s the reason he doesn’t recognize like. Any of his adversaries. Kakashi has shown Gai his face multiple times but Gai doesn’t register it so it doesn’t matter at all.

Itachi can’t curse for shit. He said ‘dammit’ one time and washed his own mouth out with soap.

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Something's gotten into my game of Hades. Now they're trying to give me cards.

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what if when Bruce adopted his kids he just. Never told anyone. The public knows about the various Robins, yes, and Hood and Nightwing and all that have followed. But Dick Grayson never made it into Bruce Wayne’s charity gala photos, and Jason Todd’s adoption wasn’t tbr talk of Gotham after it was put in the paper. Little Tim Drake’s disappearance, some time after his family died, was seen as little more than a retreat from fame, and Damian was never announced to be a Wayne.

so you have Batman and his apprentices (former or not) and then just. Brucie Wayne, living in that manor with only his butler to keep him company. Or—so Gotham thinks.

this could either be angsty as shit or hilarious. Since I’m in a crack mood . . . let’s explore option two.

Random reporter: Mister Wayne! Have you ever thought about having children? What will happen to your legacy upon your death? Bruce, who knows full well Tim will take over the company with a competency he does not even want to explore: uh. I’ll probably donate my savings to like, a worthwhile cause Reporter: and what would you call a worthwhile cause? Bruce: *says the first thing that comes to mind* uh Kent Family Farms Reporter: *turns to assistant* WTF is Kent Family Farms assistant: I have absolutely no clue. Someone google it

Gothamite: *sees Jason walking around at a Wayne Gala* oh, hello! And who might you be? *assuming him to be the son of one of the nearby Rich People* Jason: a primitive semblance of humanity built in the image of my former innocent self Gothamite: Jason: Gothamite: Jason: also a crime lord. Gothamite: Jason: those were actually the less mind blowing of the three answers I could have given you, believe it or not

Clark Kent, Reporter: *sees Bruce Wayne next to Dick Grayson at Gala* and who might this be, Mister Wayne? *hoping his Sometimes Friend Bruce will introduce him* Bruce: this is . . . uh . . . Clark: *thinking that he has never seen Bruce so flustered* a boyfriend, perhaps? Bruce: Dick: *horrified gasp* oh my god, do I look old enough for that? Please don’t tell me I look old enough to date him, dude. Please. Clark: *sweats* Bruce: this is . . . Dick: *grinning* a result of a violent and torrid love affair with my mother, an actress, with whom I cut off contact after Bruce promised to buy me a convertible as opposed to the measly Prius she offered me Clark: Clark, internally: what the Fuck Bruce: *puts his head in his hands*

Bruce: *at a JL meeting* well, I have to go. My children are all home sick with colds. Superman: *chokes* your WHAT Wonder Woman: you have children, Batman? you never told us! Bruce: I never told anyone. Hell I’m not sure anyone even knows my second oldest still exists outside the family. Superman: Wonder Woman: Bruce: well, see you *fades mysteriously into the shadows*

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I Am Iron Man Special Poster RDJ ''Iron Man 2008''!

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Oh my god. So similar to my other post where all the Wayne kids find out that Dick was never actually adopted by Bruce.

So imagine they’re all back at the manor, they’re interrogating Bruce on why he never adopted Dick, and Bruce insists he can still adopt Dick now even though he’s an adult, but Dick is getting nervous the more insistent he gets.

And it turns out it’s because he was already adopted by someone else. But it’s another Justice League member.

“What?”

Bruce is speechless. He’s bamboozled. He’s livid.

“HAL, I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!” he shouts as he zetas into the watchtower.

“Hal! Abort, abort! Code: Daddy Warbucks!” Dick screeches as he runs in behind Bruce.

Hal is scrambling to leave before Batman can actually beat him to a pulp.

“Dammit, kid, you were supposed to give me way more notice than this!” Hal screeches right back, and he’s already being chased by Bruce. He isn’t even in his Batman get-up, he’s still in his clothes from dinner. He has slippers on.

“You adopted my kid?? When did you adopt my kid?” Bruce is shouting at him.

“You’re the one who kicked him out!” Hal shouts back. “He wasn’t even 16 yet! He needed someone to sign the release forms for the Olympics!”

“HE WAS IN THE OLYMPICS?”

“HAL! THAT WASA SECRET!”

“YOU BATS HAVE TOO MANY SECRETS!”

Idk I just want chaos with Bruce finding out another league member adopted Dick. Hal is an easy target.

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Got any Brian/Hoody doodles that you'd like to share with the world?

I am soooo normal about him I swear :)

Well I'm not normal about him and now I have this

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You should draw more Tim :)

Have more Tim I've been working on

Also a still image version cause the quality as a gif isn't the besttt

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hey here's a website for downloading any video or image from any website.

works w/ youtube, soundcloud, twitch, twitter (gifs and videos), tumblr (video and audio), and most other websites you're probably lookin to download stuff off of.

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One day, I will make this fic.

"5 am me goes buir" except i typed brrr and now all my friends think I have a daddy kink is an actual prompt in my star wars folder for writing and I will never know what led to that moment of intellectual idiocy