thecloudnine

[thecloudnine]

you are all that is good and perfect beyond belief

and i’ll be here til all the suns and moons rise

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Charlie boy, don't go to war, First born in '44 Kennedy made him believe We could do much more

In uniform you raised a man, Who volunteered to stand

Make your mothers proud Raise your rifles to the sky, boys Fire that volley loud

News was bad on Upland Ave., Metuchen mourn our loss Sons rebelled, while fathers yelled, And mothers clutched the cross

-charlie boy, the lumineers

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mumin and johnny

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[thecloudnine]

written thought #55

what’s it like losing a friend

(losing; roughly in the process of; pa lang)

best friends almost never try to count at what costs

they would have simply overcome

you were north when my compass was a tad bit crazy

best friends drive you home when you’ve had too much to drink or gets you right on time to watch a tv show after a 9pm class

when julia roberts said, “i didn’t get you a gift, however, this song is on loan until you two find your song,” at her best friend’s wedding......,...,, i felt that

[thecloudnine]

written thought #54

number one feeling i felt was anxiety

it felt very fragile and tentative

like ok whats the next road block or the next thing that’ll deter 

how long before all of this turns into an awful mess is it a month? is it 3 days?

everyone wants the good part and that’s not what we get but it doesn’t mean that it’s not special and extraordinary

it is fragile and somehow there is meaning to be found in that fragility

like we stood a chance

you took a polaroid of us the rest of the world was black and white last december we were built to fall apart

when the sun came up i was looking at you

the monsters turned out to be just trees

are we in the clear yet

-post-modern thinker, Taylor Swift

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I prefer to choose my hell.

Jean-Paul Sartre, from No Exit And Three Other Plays (via hellanne)

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halfway through 2018 and i’m writing about what M.A.D.E. 2017

090117 gdragon’s act iii: m.o.t.t.e.

092217 taeyang’s white night 

100817 seungri patayin mo na lang ako 

060218 seungri 2.0

seungri 3.0 ayaw paawat

wouldn’t have done these without your crazy! love ya binch!!

[thecloudnine]

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anneyenhaseyo! happy 23rd birthday!!

(seoul, 2017)

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Please could you be tender and I will sit close to you Let's give it a minute before we admit that we're through Guess this is the winter Our bodies are young and blue

'Cause I remember the rush, when forever was us

Before all of the winds of regret and mistrust

Now we sit in your car and our love is a ghost Well I guess I should go Yeah I guess I should go

Hard feelings These are what they call hard feelings of love When the sweet words and fevers all leave us right here in the cold These days, we kiss and we keep busy The waves come after midnight I call from underwater Why even try to get right? When you've outgrown a lover The whole world knows but you It's time to let go of this endless summer afternoon

Three years, loved you every single day, made me weak It was real for me, yup, real for me

I'll start letting go of little things 'til I'm so far away from you, far away from you

Bet you wanna rip my heart out Bet you wanna skip my calls now Well guess why? I like that 'Cause I kinda miss your life fucked

[thecloudnine]

these are just some of the little notes we love to secretly pass around during a boring biology class penned at the back of excuse slips or post-its

i’ve always wondered why you write so fleetingly like you’re passing swiftly. it’s unlike some letters that would leave or assure us that they’re “always here for you!” or the very gasgas “love you forever and always!” yours were like something that was vanishing and transitory. yours were the fast “see ya laters!” and the short mentions of the most mundane things that literally just happened. it seems that you were only here for a while, but you also make it look like you’re not going anywhere, just here, lingering

thank you for being there at my deepest lows

you would’ve been 24 and probably drunk today

happy 6th birthday in heaven, Ray! we love you dearly and miss you everyday

[thecloudnine]

written thought #53

cancers are the best listeners.

that’s it. thank you for coming to my ted talk!!