thecurmudgeonnextdoor - Tumblr blog

[thecurmudgeonnextdoor]

blurryfaceinspace replied to your post: “I Hate Children”:

shut up

Ooh, someone's feelings got hurt.

[thecurmudgeonnextdoor]

madzthecrazyone

 “I Hate Children”

Can I use this on a different platform with credits?

Absolutely!  Feel free.

[thecurmudgeonnextdoor]

A sudden wave of notes, replies, and messages (I see you all and I love you) tells me I should bring this back again.

Give me your trolls, your antis, and your dickweeds.

~The Curmudgeon

For Followers

I just wanted to say that if any of you have been or are being harassed by anyone over my “I Hate Children” post, please feel free to send them my way.  I will not stand for y’all getting hate, especially since I eat that shit up with a spoon when it comes to me.

Love and happiness to you all.

~The Curmudgeon

[thecurmudgeonnextdoor]

Have you read lee Edelman book No Future-Queer Theory and The Death Drive? If not I highly recommend it. It talks about the culture of the child.

I have not read it, but looking at it, it sounds amazing and exactly what I’m about.  Thank you!

It is on Amazon, friends, at a good price for academic texts.

Go forth, and be queer and childfree!

[thecurmudgeonnextdoor]

Don't want one, don't have one? Peer pressure the only thing niggling you?

Ah, yes, part two of failed troll attempt.  Much sad.  Such blah.  Wow

[thecurmudgeonnextdoor]

How long, by your studies, has the "culture of children" been recognized? Also: why does a society you don't connect with causing you hatred? Do what you want. Learn to daydream during unrequested lectures. Be affected like an individual. Your clickbate only said, "I desperately wish society was on my side." Why the masses?? Who's being stopped??? Words are nothing next to action. What strength do you need to recognize all true societal changes take hundred(s) of years?? Or require spilt blood.

0/5, did not read post, did not read comments, D- for spelling (“clickbait”)

Troll harder next time.

[thecurmudgeonnextdoor]

So the reason you don't want to have children is because of the culture that surrounds them? If so, why are you letting that stop you from doing what you want? I'm clear on your stance regarding wanting children which I 1001% agree with (very well written) but would you mind saying why YOU don't want them? I'm just curious.

Well, yes, it’s basically what it says on the tin that is my essay.  And, as I think I’ve mentioned, I have no love or need for children that would push me to wanting them.

So... that’s why?

[thecurmudgeonnextdoor]

there’s nothing inherently wrong with monogamy

but I feel like we don’t talk often enough about the negative impacts the culture that surrounds monogamous relationships can have on people of all relationship styles/orientations. 

monogamy culture will have you believe that it’s normal to be jealous and territorial over your partner and their interactions with other people - especially interactions with people that they could eventually develop a romantic/sexual interest in. 

monogamy culture will tell you that you are the only person your partner should ever show romantic/sexual interest in, and if your partner makes the mistake of developing feelings/attraction toward another person, it’s because you are not enough. 

monogamy culture will tell you that certain sacrifices must be made in order to build a life with another person, and if you aren’t keen to make those sacrifices for your partner, you are selfish and not ready for “real” commitment.

monogamy culture will tell you that relationships are only valuable if they are “going somewhere,” somewhere usually meaning lifelong commitment in the form of marriage or domestic partnership. if you aren’t ready to shack up, propose, have kids with, or make other commitments to someone whom you’ve been dating for an extended period of time, you are again considered selfish and not ready for a “real” relationship.

monogamy culture will tell you that one partner should satisfy most of your needs. the rest can be dealt with via compromise on your end. when you can no longer deal with having certain needs go unsatisfied, your only option is to end the current relationship and (usually) pursue someone else.

monogamy culture will tell you that there are certain things you must rely on your significant other for. they should be the most intimate relationship you have, the person you gain validation from, the person from whom you ask advice first, the ultra absolute most special person you’ve ever had in your life. if anyone else compares in the slightest, they are a threat to the relationship.

obviously not all monogamous couples exhibit these characteristics, because monogamy itself is not the problem. the problem is this weird, jealous, insecure, culture surrounding monogamy that is constantly perpetuated by the media and so much of society. 

[thecurmudgeonnextdoor]

kamorth replied to your post “Yes. You. Suck. Nasty. Dick. Bitch.”

The intelligence of the argument is astounding. Maybe next time they can read a little further than the title, presuming that's not too many words for one day.

Right?  Like, wow, they really Showed Me.  I’m so crushed by this Completely Inarguable anon message.  What ever will I do.

[thecurmudgeonnextdoor]

Yes. You. Suck. Nasty. Dick. Bitch.

LMAO

Should I be upset?  Is that the reaction you were looking for?

[thecurmudgeonnextdoor]

I feel your "I hate children" post. Especially since Im 16, my parents insist Ill have a 'child of my own' when Im older. Insist I should be concerned about my reproductive rights when Ive said time and time again I'm going to adopt/foster children [the plan is especially troubled children like LGB/T youth]. Its like I'm ignored and 'too young' to know my own mind. I want to adopt/foster kids, there's already plenty in the world. I want to help the hurt ones.

I definitely feel you.  It’s so bizarre how we apparently don’t know our own minds and are too young to make decisions for ourselves only if those decisions deviate from the societal norm.  If they don’t and just go along with it, suddenly we are "so wise” and “so mature” about things.  ://

Half on-topic, but isn’t it odd how society will fawn like, “Oh, look how good people they are for adopting this poor child~~” but as soon as it’s someone they know who’s thinking about it, suddenly it’s, “Oh, but they’re not real kids.”  Because logic.

[thecurmudgeonnextdoor]

okay I just saw your post about children and I really liked it but now I don't know how to feel. ive always wanted a kid but I don't want to give into the 'culture of children' and I'm worried if I have one I will and I just want to do the right thing and idk what to do...

First off I’m going to start with a *hug* for you, and let you know that this is something a lot of people feel.

As far as I’m concerned, if you know you want a kid and it feels right to you, then there’s no problem with that, because you’re making the choice for you.  The problem would be is if you then went around telling people they they all should have kids because “It’s such a wonderful feeling! You’ll feel complete!” regardless of how they actually feel.  That would be a problem.

But like, if you’ve always wanted a kid not because people have told you you must, but because you have that nurturing feel and it just seems right for how you want your life to go, by all means go for it.

The important thing is the choice.  If you choose to badger others about having children because you think it’ll be beneficial to them in spite of how they feel, then you’re an asshat.  If you choose that you want a kid for yourself because it feels right to you, you’re just someone who wants a kid.  And that’s totally OK.

five rambling paragraphs later Basically it boils down to “Is this something I’m genuinely excited about/want for myself?” or “Is this something I’ve been told I must want and therefore think I must, even if I’m not 100% about it?”  If it’s the first, go for it.  If it’s the second, take the time to really analyze how you feel.  If you’re still like, “Yeah, this is a thing I want!”, then cool.  If you’re like, “Hmm, maybe not so much”, then still cool.

Remember, you can always change your mind about how you feel.  Because it’s your decision.

Hope that helps!

[thecurmudgeonnextdoor]

Your post on children is spot on. As women we were not made solely for reproduction. It is something that our bodies CAN do but not something they NEED to do. Sort of like how I CAN jump off a cliff but I don't NEED to and I probably won't. Why is that so hard to understand?

Exactly.

This idea that because a body might be capable of a thing (I say might because, as we’ve seen, even functionality or lack thereof doesn’t matter to the “BUT CHILDREN!!!” crowd), it must do the thing is so horrid and harmful for so many people.

Not only does it say that our opinions about ourselves are invalid, but also that a person’s entire worth is based on whether they procreate or not.

Which is just so gross on so many levels.

[thecurmudgeonnextdoor]

how are you even getting hate for the "children culture" post. like saying "women are societally obligated to have children" is the Least Radical Statement

Right?  Somehow a very basic statement about a very common societal problem is too much for some people.  Like, how dare we complain about a thing that affects us constantly in our daily lives.  How dare we.

[thecurmudgeonnextdoor]

Holy shit, this suddenly makes so much sense about my entire relationship with gaming and the title “gamer”.

I started out on Pajama Sam, Freddi Fish, and Spy Fox; basically, Intro to Point-and-click Adventure.  I loved them.  I still do love them.  And they got me hooked hardcore onto point-and-clicks.

Fast forward to a few years later, and I am collecting every single Nancy Drew game out there, when they release.  This is my jam.  Mysteries, Nancy Drew, adventure games... it was everything I loved!  (So imagine my thrill when the Agatha Christie games started coming out several years later!)

I played every single one of those, sometimes multiple times, because they were just everything.

And then, as a young person on the internet, I searched for communities.

No one else seemed to play them.  In fact, if I wasn’t directly on the Her Entertainment forums, I found no one who had played the Nancy Drew games.

Now, I’ve never had consoles.  All of my gaming has been through PC and the generations of Gameboy, which do tend to have common play themes.  But it astounded me that no one else seemed to even know about these games that I loved so much.

And then, I learned.

It’s not that they didn’t know about them.  Oh no, they knew very well what was out there.  But those weren’t real games.  Playing those weren’t for real gamers.  How dare you try and call yourself a gamer when you just play Pokémon and Nancy Drew?  You probably play hidden object games too, you faker!!

And it fucked. me. up.

I mean, they’re games.  That’s all I had.  I didn’t have Halo whateverthefucknumber, I didn’t have a console to play anything on.  I had a computer and a Gameboy and I played games.

...Right?

And it was literally until right now that I read thais, that I realized why this all was.  Why I feel like I’m not allowed to call these games.  Why I’m hesitant to share what games I really love and have played.  Why I still feel like I’m not a gamer.

But you know what?  Fuck them.  Men are a mistake.  Play whatever the damn hell you want.  Call yourself whatever the damn hell you want.  And if someone comes to you and says you’re not a “true gamer”?  Make them solve the Nancy Drew games with no strategy guides or walkthroughs.

On Senior Detective.

If you ever need evidence of how profoundly sexist the mainstream gaming press is, you don’t need to look any further than the alleged rise and fall of point-and-click adventure games.

Everybody knows what a point-and-click adventure game is, right? You walk around pre-rendered environments looking for hidden objects and talking to quirky NPCs, then use those objects to solve inventory-based puzzles. They’re usually colorful, often comedic, and tend to have little or nothing in the way of twitch gameplay - fun for the whole family.

Now, the narrative the gaming press would have us believe is that, following the golden age of Sierra and LucasArts back in the late 80s and early to mid 90s, point-and-click adventure games suffered a sharp and seemingly irreversible commercial decline, essentially vanishing from the gaming scene until they were revived by the heroic efforts of outfits like Telltale Games and guys like Tim Schafer in the late 00s.

The trouble is, that never actually happened.

Oh, don’t get me wrong: point-and-click adventure games are enjoying something of a renaissance at the moment, and the names I just dropped deserve a lot of credit for that.

No, the part I have trouble with is the alleged interregnum between the reigns of LucasArts and Telltale. The fact of the matter is that point-and-click adventure games never died.

The chronology just doesn’t add up. To pose a few obvious examples:

The Nancy Drew series, a point-and-click adventure franchise as old-school as they come, put out over a dozen titles during the early 00s.

Funcom’s Dreamfall: The Longest Journey was enormously successful, both critically and commercially, during a period when the gaming press would have us believe the genre was almost wholly moribund.

Likewise, the Dream Chronicles series managed three sequels during a period when point-and-click adventure games allegedly weren’t a thing.

Sure, a lot of these games weren’t sold via specialty gaming stores, instead appearing primarily on the discount software shelves at Target and similar stores - but then, that’s a matter of how you frame it, isn’t it? With a slight change in perspective, being relegated to the Target discount shelf becomes maintaining a strong presence in mainstream retail channels during a span when virtually all other games were increasingly confined to specialist hobby outlets.

So the question becomes: why was the gaming press claiming that point-and-click adventure games were dead when the genre was clearly alive and kicking?

I strongly suspect that the answer to that question lies in what the Nancy Drew franchise, the Dream Chronicles series and Dreamfall all have in common: female viewpoint characters and an explicitly female target audience.

None of that stuff counts because it’s for girls. When the gaming press talks about the revival of the old-school adventure game, they’re specifically talking about point-and-click adventure games for boys.

When FPSes began to dominate the young male gaming audience in the mid 90s, point-and-click adventure games saw the writing on the wall, and shifted their target audience en masse to young girls. And it worked fantastically - but as far as the gaming press was concerned, that was high treason.

There was a problem, though. You see, being a fan of point-and-click adventure games - particularly the kind with really obtuse puzzles - was once trumpeted as the badge of a “serious” gamer. There was far too much male gamer identity invested in the genre to simply turn around and say “well, they’re not real games anyway”, which is what usually happens when a genre finds a strong female audience.

And so the great myth of The Death of the Adventure Game was founded. That way, the gaming press could continue to lionise the point-and-click adventure games of the past while straight-up refusing to acknowledge the existence of the genre in its new, girl-targeted form.

These people are so sexist that they literally spent over a decade grandly eulogising a genre of games that was, in fact, alive and well rather than accept the blindingly obvious truth: that adventures games didn’t need male gamers to survive and thrive.

[thecurmudgeonnextdoor]

I had to go back and re-read the post to find the offensive "it" I feel like with everyone nit-picking at the ~it~ they are just proving Ur point that even hypothetical children are most important to most people

I got this right before I went to bed last night and it made me so happy because, yes, that is exactly what is happening.  It’s the same fight we have over abortion and the same fight about having kids.  Somehow our knowledge of ourselves and our thoughts on these things are less important than a non-existent child because, idk, it might get its feelings hurt???

It doesn’t exist.  It is the hypothetical concept of a child, not a real one.

It’s like how some schools do the “Here is your plastic egg, or baby doll, this is now your child” thing (for some ungodly reason).  No matter how much you might claim it and give it an identity, the fact of the matter is, it’s still not a real damn kid.  It’s the concept of one.

But, then again, after this many responses to and clarifications of this, what are the odds it’s gonna stop?

[thecurmudgeonnextdoor]

ah, I dont know how to start. firstly thank you so much for writing this rant about 'culture of children'. Tbh I never realized how true it is. Recently I came out to my mum as bi. and what she heard? Lesbian. mentally ill. You have issues. You need therapy. but?? kids? grandkids?!? Now i will never have those. Adoption? Are u kidding? DOESNT. COUNT. Youll find a nice man and have kids then. Youll see. You have a girlfriend? Ha it will pass. u cant be happy like that. that is what i hear now....

Hooo boy, I feel that VERY much.

A few months ago I dropped some fairly big “I am asexual” hints on Facebook, and the cousins that had already been shocked that I don’t want children were like, “Are... are you sure?  This is a thing??”  Like, good lord family....

I was going to say it’s worse for us non-straight folks, but actually it’s just the same bad in a different way.  Instead of just the standard “Wait until you find the right guy, get the urge” etc., there’s that nice added bonus of, “Oh well something’s WRONG with you so that’s the problem, here let’s fix you, then you’ll find the right guy/get the urge” etc.  And I’m sure for my bi folks there’s also that extra, “Oh good, well once you’re through this ~~lesbian phase~~ you’ll remember what a good straight girl should be and get married and have kids” etc. etc.

And I will still never figure out why people see adoption as the “last resort” or something to completely ignore, yet also complain about how “all those foster kids are cluttering up the system!”  Like, I have great news for you, friend, on how to combat that! :D

Thank you for your message!  I hope it all works out for you with your mom.