thedaysgoby

[thedaysgoby]

26th April, 2025

Dear Diary,

Today, when I woke up from my peaceful, uninterrupted slumber (which I experienced alone, as per standard sleep practices), I was found that my skin remained entirely my own, the same original epidermis I was born with, unaltered or replaced in the night by any unwanted creature.

So, with my biological integrity intact, I brushed my teeth using a brand new commercially available, dentist-approved tooth paste, not tampered with in any illegal, unethical, or cult-adjacent ways. The toothpaste had an unbroken seal when I opened it, thus fulfilling all safety protocols.

Oh, how rude of me not to introduce you to my family, pardon my insolence. There’s my mother, who has never been found guilty of any serious crime, misdemeanor, or paranormal offense. She spends most of her afternoons in the garden, gardening of course, and not, say, burying anything, never that. Here, I must mention that she has neve officially, or unofficially for that matter, been indicted for arson. This morning, my mother seemed to be rather happy, considering... the incident with the cat last week. Either way, she currently happens to be in the kitchen, boiling water for tea and not for any other herb-related purposes.

My father, whose name appears in exactly zero government watchlists (that we know of 💀 inside jokes), was reading the newspaper and not any manifesto-like documents, I mean why would he? That’s hardly usual for a man of his business (all of which have passed regulatory scrutiny with minimal bribery, I’m sure).

My brother, who has never been found guilty of animal theft, tax fraud, or being a lizard in human disguise, was polishing his baseball trophies (which he earned through fair play, despite what the neighbors say about the incident with the goats and the lunar eclipse.) His skin also remains his own this morning, and every other morning before that.

Hang on, there’s a mild rattling sound in the attic, which, statistically speaking, is probably just a loose pipe and not a consequence of any other decisions.

Will write soon again! Unless, of course, I am otherwise grounded.

Love, Sophie 🫶💅☃️