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Sasuke: Big brother, I hesitate to ask you this because I don’t want to be in your personal business, but … what’s your orientation?

Itachi: My orientation? Well right now I’d guess I’m facing about north, maybe north-east, so —

Sasuke: No! I mean, um, w-what kind of people do you like? Romantically?

Itachi: Oooh. Why do you wish to know?

Sasuke: I just wanted to know if, maybe, you ever liked boys? Like if that was a normal thing or completely weird? I tried to talk to father about this but all he did was clear his throat a bunch of times and tell me to do some push-ups. 

Itachi: … is this about that blonde boy that you hang out with? The one in your genin squad?

Sasuke, blushing: N-no! Why would this be about that idiot?! He’s annoying and a loser and —

Madara, from behind his paper: In other words, you’re ready to propose marriage.

Itachi: Not helping, gramps. Sasuke, it’s completely normal and okay to have feelings for any and all types of people, regardless of gender. You shouldn’t decide whether you want a person based on what parts they do or don’t have; it should be based on their personality, their kindness, their interests, their soul.

Madara: For God’s sake, just because the boy is gay doesn’t mean you need to turn him into a sissy as well!

Itachi: Grandfather!

Madara: Listen, Sasuke. You go up to this boy and claim him, you hear me? Uchihas are conquerors, and we don’t easily lose. Lay waste to your competition and take what’s yours. This young man, what is his name?

Sasuke: Naruto Uzumaki. He’s —

Madara: UZUMAKI?! He’s from that treacherous clan?! Fuck that, stay far away from that boy and anything related to him! You’ll only end up heartbroken and alone!

Sasuke:

Itachi: … grandfather. Just because you had one teeny tiny bad experience with an Uzumaki doesn’t mean that —

Madara: UZUMAKI MITO STOLE HASHIRAMA FROM ME, boy!! All because he liked her stupid red hair and her stupid nine-tails!

Sasuke: Actually Naruto has the Fox inside of him now, grandpa.

Madara: 

Madara: *unleashes an unholy shriek, sets the curtains on fire, and stomps out*

Sasuke: Just once. Just ONCE I’d like to be able to walk in here, ask for advice, and hear something both helpful and normal. Just. Freaking. ONCE.

Itachi:

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DONE

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT, BECAUSE I REALLY TRIED😭

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I wish lesbians were as easy to find in real life as they are on tumblr

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concept

a beaded curtain, but instead of beads they’re worms on strings

[thedelicaterojarani2032]

@/folkoftheshelf on Twitter has made a thread of fundraising links for Gazans. I’ve transferred the links here, please boost them as the conflict is worsening:

Help Ahmad Hassan and his family escape Gaza

Help Halla Morshed’d family escape Gaza

Help Dr. Yousef Alsweisi and his family escape Gaza

Evacuate Sohad’s family out of Gaza

Help Donia Tanani and her family escape Gaza (they are close to reaching their goal!!)

Help Zinh and her family escape Gaza (they are close to reaching their goal!!)

Help this Gazan family rebuild their lives (they are not close to their goal as of writing)

Help the Zack Family

Help Hala Jad and her family (they are at a 1/3 of their goal)

Help Walid and his family escape Gaza (they are close to reaching their goal!!)

Help Mariam Radi and her family (as of right now they are not close to reaching their goal)

Help Maha Abu Shammala evacuate the family from Gaza (they haven't met their goal as of writing)

Help Ronza Alaa and her family (they haven't met their goal as of writing)

Help Noor and her family evacuate to safety (they haven't met their goal as of writing)

Help Manar Abuqata get his family out of Gaza (goal hasn't been met as of writing)

Help Farah save her family

Help Ahmad’s family escape from Gaza to Egypt

Help evacuate Mohammed Harara’s family out of Gaza (they are halfway through their goal!!)

Help Dana and her family escape (they have almost met their goal!!)

Help Anas’ family escape from Gaza (goal has not been met as of writing, note that the money is in krona, 1 usd=11 krona)

Help Ibrahem Ra’fat Daher and his family evacuate Gaza

Help Hakam Albalawi save his family (goal had not been met as of writing)

Help Tabseem AbuJamie’s family evacuate (goal hasn't been met and only has two donations as of writing)

Rafah Masterpost

[thedelicaterojarani2032]

Okay, you know what? After reading this post, I jokingly said we should all just make a pact to reblog it five times a day forever. So I'm gonna do this louder for the people in the back:

AO3 WAS CREATED BY FANS, FOR FANS

AO3 IS RUN BY FANS (VOLUNTEERS, NO LESS)

AO3 IS PART OF THE NON-PROFIT, ORGANIZATION FOR TRANSFORMATIVE WORKS

AO3 IS NOT OWNED BY ANY COMPANIES AND DOES NOT EARN REVENUE

AO3 OPERATES ON DONATIONS FROM FANS

again:

AO3 WAS CREATED BY FANS, FOR FANS

[thedelicaterojarani2032]

the vocabulary of loss is the dictionary

[thedelicaterojarani2032]

we talk a lot about how sasuke and naruto are so crazy about each other but there’s never enough attention on how the rest of the naruto cast Also thinks they are two fucking lunatics. like we are not alone on this. you have jiraiya telling naruto he needs to not go and chase a mf who tried to snatch his heart out his ribcage and naruto is like no i’d rather be a fucking moron for the rest of my life honestly. you have naruto leaving a mission and saying sory i cannot stay i need to go home and wait for sasuke and the fucking platypus looks at him ???? like he even had me confused where are you goin g to wait? ? why are you saying that like sasuke is coming back the fuck did i miss??? you have the kage summit arc which is just a whole bucket of ice being dropped onto you because you come in and immediately get slapped in the face by naruto letting himself be beat up because he won’t tell them where sasuke is??? like he has any fucking idea where sasuke is. and sai tries to make him come to his senses like naruto??? naruto WHAT ARE U DOING. it’s so bad they need an intervention. right after that naruto faces the raikage and gets on his knees saying i know my almost boyfriend almost killed your brother but i promise it wasn’t on purpose he was just being silly please don’t put a bounty on his head a war will literally ensue. and like. there’s LAYERS to this. 1. even RAIKAGE is like BOY what are you doing. STAND UP. 2. at this point you can count the people who like sasuke on the fingers of one hand like WHO is gonna start a war over him… naruto out there moving a war against a whole country by himself over his bf ok you go girl i guess. after this it gets even worse like gaara has to go up to him and be like SASUKE DOWSNT CARE ABOUT YOU. HE DOES NOT WANT YOU. and naruto just slaps his hand away in front of his family like rude?????? ignoring anything it is hilariouuusssss and then sai is like sorry. sakura lied to you they are actually off to kill sasuke and naruto gets a panic attack so severe he passes out. like i am not joking it was so bad his friends tried to kill sasuke behind his back. and then naruto escapes bedriddenment (is that a word?) after passing out from his panic attack to run and make sure NOBODY kills sasuke. like he’s on a RUSH leaping those trees he’s a boy on a mission. then after he gets there he’s like kakashi DO NOT TOUCH HIM. they launch themselves at each other bla bla gay monologues did you see what was in my heart and then. and then naruto is like. wait sasuke. and sasuke waits like sorry that’s such a little thing but it’s so funny to me like sasuke was just acting a lil murderous crazy manic wtv but naruto told him to wait and he waits. ok good boyfriend. anyways moving on naruto is like do you get it sasuke. if we fight again we will BOTH DIE! (everybody gets a ?????? bubble) i am the only one who can shoulder all that hatred. i will CARRY THE BURDEN OF YOUR HATRED AND WE WILL DIE TOGETHER! and . absolutely Everybody in that room just goes ???????????? what the FUCK is he TALKING ABKHT. everybody except sasuke. sasuke smirks and he’s like sure. they just talked about dying together and meeting each other in a different life where they’ll be free of their burdens and they’re just Fine and all ok smiling at each other and everyone is so fucking confused. like the entire supporting cast is with us side eyeing sasuke and naruto and thinking what in the everloving FUCK is WRONG WITH YOU????????

[thedelicaterojarani2032]

N/ purely self-indulgent hhh, plus I always wanted to do something like this when I read a good fic. First attempt at making a webcomic.

Based on @rayshippouuchiha's ShikaNaru fic "The Brightest Flame (The Darkest Shadow)" :D

Rated: M

Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, BAMF Uzumaki Naruto, Genderfluid Character, Yandere Shikamaru Nara, Smitten Shikamaru Nara, Naruto with Tsunade's Strength, Love At first Chakra Enhanced Strike,.... etc.

Chapters (so far): 2/?

Summary:

Shikamaru’s never felt chakra so vibrant and warm before.

The log that Naruto’s been punching shatters clean apart, reduced to little more than splinters under the devastating force of his chakra enhanced blow.

Shocked and more than a bit startled, Shikamaru wheezes loudly, the sound carrying across the clearing and causing Naruto to abruptly turn and look in his direction.

And in that single moment Shikamaru is lost.

[excerpt]

...because Shikamaru is a Nara to the core, is the strongest they've seen in generations, and the Nara have always been a clan of Shadows after all.

and what does the shadow crave more than the light?

Naruto, with his ocean blue eyes and his golden hair swaying in the breeze his attack had created, shines as bright as the sun itself.

And Shikamaru intends to have him.

(edit: forgot to add this)

..."so much for that quiet wife and two ordinary kids idea."

"Time for a new plan." Because, really, there's no way life with Naruto is going to be any form of quiet or normal.

....Shikamaru's entire life plan has to be thrown out the window and then redrawn from scratch.

Either way Shikamaru's not actually all that upset about his entire life being thrown into an abrupt upheaval.

After all, convincing Naruto to marry him as soon as possible will be well worth the effort.

Naruto's pretty sure this is the closest they've ever actually been to one another outside of the few times they've been paired up to spar in class.

"What're you doing after this?" Shikamaru asks, one hand coming out of his pocket to reach out and play idly with the dangling sleeve of Naruto's kimono.

"After training?" Naruto keeps one eye on Shikamaru's hand...

"More like for the rest of your life," Shikamaru says. "But sure, we can start with training."

Naruto blinks.

.....[Naruto's] not really sure what, exactly, is happening here but he thinks this might mean Shikamaru wants to be his friend now.

Ah my sweet summer child.

Not an exact play by play of what was written in the fic, only the gist I guess and the moment that rly stuck in my head and got me giggling in my pillow.

My love for the "oblivious pure(?) mc and their darker, possessive s/o" trope has struck again. Couldn't've stopped myself from finishing this even when sleep-deprived, which I currently am right now. Had fun challenging myself with this too and might attempt it again with a future chapter or other works depending on my schedule. I'm occupied with studying this month so making something time extensive like this won't happen for awhile yet.

Excitedly waiting for updates :D

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Your daily dose of cat memes

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Marcin Ryczek: Man Feeding Swans (2013)

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Au where Goncharov and Andrey survive everything, grow old together and sit on a street all day somewhere in the south of Europe

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odysseus absolutely does present a threat to penelope if he perceives her as at all unfaithful, and i feel the unfairness of this, and i think people tend to undersell how much tension at least potentially exists between odysseus and penelope. but i'm also like. his reaction, all speculation aside, his actual reaction in the odyssey to her flirting with the suitors is delight, because he immediately ascertains that she is running a con. sorry that they're so in-sync in spite of the forces that try to drive a wedge between them, including their own misgiving hearts. sorry that they invented homophrosyne ¯\_(ツ)_/¯