thedevilsadvocake-blog

[thedevilsadvocake-blog]

..... you're some leafy glitch. That's why you look worse than a freshly grown cob of corn. Go away! We don't need any more low calorie glitches around here!

*is the only glitch worth anything*

thepartyescortbot started following you

[thedevilsadvocake-blog]

*Advocake just stared down at the thing for several long moments, completely confused. He had absolutely no idea what it was talking about*

.... you're weird. Are you some kinda glitch?

thepartyescortbot started following you

[thedevilsadvocake-blog]

I'm not a fruity rulebreaker! Hiding because.... well... look at you! I'm a cake! I don't wanna become some chocolate pancake instead! So just go away to whatever nutritious game you came from!

thepartyescortbot started following you

[thedevilsadvocake-blog]

... somebody's taken too much calcium to the programming. But I haven't broken any of those organic little rules! Haven't been interfering with the probiotic roster races or nothing! Go away!

thepartyescortbot started following you

[thedevilsadvocake-blog]

*completely content to stay up here until that thing leaves. Much, much safer*

Go away! I have no idea what kinda whole grain food you might be based offa, but I know we don't need you here! Go!

thepartyescortbot started following you

……… *nope, just bolting up the nearest tree, as per custom when his kart was too far away. It was one of the many reasons he preferred the Dark Chocolate Forest. There was always a tree within easy reach.*

[thedevilsadvocake-blog]

thepartyescortbot started following you

......... *nope, just bolting up the nearest tree, as per custom when his kart was too far away. It was one of the many reasons he preferred the Dark Chocolate Forest. There was always a tree within easy reach.*

[thedevilsadvocake-blog]

the-sweet-little-bad-kids started following you

They don't need more homegrown berries around here.

[thedevilsadvocake-blog]

"If you were anybody important, I'd've heard of you before. But I haven't. You're still some allergen free waste of data," Advocake grumped. He wanted to know what he had done wrong! He didn't care about anyone else finding out. Who cared what any of those vegetables pretending to be sweets thought? This was just him wanting to know for himself! And this carrot muncher wasn't telling him! 

"Go race a bit in the vacuum sealed crisper you prolly have for a kart, and maybe then I'll have heard about you. With as much nutrients in you as you prolly have, though, they aren't even gonna let you enter in the first place! If they do, the only way I'll hear about you is as the fruit who can't even pass the starting line! Because health foods are gross, farm fresh foods that should never have been grown, nevermind letting 'em race!"

Okay, so the insults were getting weaker. So what? Advocake was just trying to find something, anything, that would stick.

blastedroads started following you

“Uh, duh. Yer diabuddies’re gonna make ya the laughin’ stock at the candy corn with these sorta deets on my hands, kid.” He taunts, confidence still flowing true. Blackmail was awesome; he could get whatever he wanted with it! And surely the kid was lying about not caring, right? Right!

For a long moment or two, he rocks back on his heels until that remark of King Candy pops in. It pangs a bit against his ego, but it doesn’t hurt; if anything, his grin falters a smidge. Raising a hand, he wipes a finger under his nose. “Gee, I’unno, maybe it’s ‘cause yer a lame-o who sits ‘round this heart attack waitin’ ta happen? Maybe if ya got out a LIL’, ya’d know a’ me! Screw that candy-flavored knob-jockey anyway,” Kept in mind that Candy was him, “I’m faster than that walker-usin’ grandpa!”

[thedevilsadvocake-blog]

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[thedevilsadvocake-blog]

anello-di-niente started following you

That has to be one of the most nutritiously lame outfits I've ever seen. What are you, a wilted salad?

[thedevilsadvocake-blog]

"You know what I said. You fat free parts of a balanced diet aren't welcome here." Okay, so this guy didn't look quite as wimpy as most the others Advocake tormented. So what? He wasn't about to act like some goody-goody and start being friendly with him.

cornelius-orangeboar started following you

Based off corn, huh? What do you know, it’s just another nutritious waste of data. Not that anyone would want data so chock full of vitamins.

[thedevilsadvocake-blog]

I am not a girl, I am not 'dainty', and you hafta be a snack of some sorts, or at least a food! Everyone is. It's part of your programming. 

I still say it's some sort of diet food. Anyone who hides their food is always based off the worst stuff, the stuff that's low calorie and healthy and fat free and all that.

thelogicsphere started following you

[thedevilsadvocake-blog]

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[thedevilsadvocake-blog]

... I am NOT some dietary and nutritious little girl! You're way more girly than I would ever be! Bet you're a light snack targeted right for girls!

thelogicsphere started following you

Old blueberries aren’t allowed here; they’re supposedta go in the garbage, where all that healthy junk belongs.

[thedevilsadvocake-blog]

thelogicsphere started following you

Old blueberries aren't allowed here; they're supposedta go in the garbage, where all that healthy junk belongs.

[thedevilsadvocake-blog]

"Wouldn't that mean needing to care what those fruits think of me?" Advocake asked rather sourly. He had done something that apparently could be used as blackmail, and he had absolutely no idea what. That wasn't fair! He at least deserved to know what he'd done!

When that wasn't forthcoming, he had to settle on sulking.

"'Sides, if you're such a legend, why haven't I heard of you before? I think I'd remember being told something like that. Only legend around here is that fruity King Candy, and I don't even care what potato-filled nonsense he says."

blastedroads started following you

Ah, if only Advocake understood. Turbo would explain it, really; he didn’t quite necessarily care for his well-being, so why not? It’d build character. And yet … he didn’t feel like it—this was priceless. Regaining his composure and sniffling slightly, he giggled. That insult? It didn’t phase him, not with how he felt he had the upper hand here.

“Jeez-freakin’-Louise, shortcake, yer heads as hallow as one’a those coconuts! Lemme give ya a lil’ info drop ‘cause I’m such‘a cool guy: people care ‘bout what comes outta THIS mouth. Y’know why? ‘Cause I’m a legend, an’ people’re fawnin’ over those. If I wanted ta, I could use this as Pong danged blackmail. Now’re ya done with yer crap-worth barkin’ yet?”

[thedevilsadvocake-blog]

cornelius-orangeboar started following you

Based off corn, huh? What do you know, it's just another nutritious waste of data. Not that anyone would want data so chock full of vitamins.