thediaryofakafkaesquegirl

[thediaryofakafkaesquegirl]

November 24th, 2024, Sunday:

And I saw him again. After three months of dreaming about this day it finally came. When we looked into each other's eyes my heart stopped for a second and in that moment I thought that I could die and still be happy.

[thediaryofakafkaesquegirl]

November 23th, 2024, Saturday:

It was my brother's birthday, we spent it playing games, eating great food and having fun. My heart is happy cause he is too.

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November 22th, 2024, Friday:

It was a really normal day. We're preparing everything because my brother's birthday is tomorrow. I drank wine at night while reading. Finished reading the most weird book ever.

[thediaryofakafkaesquegirl]

November 21th, 2024, Thursday:

Today I went to the salon to do my nails. The motive of my desires is gonna be back in the country this Saturday. am I doing thus for him? am I excited?

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November 20th, 2024, Wednesday:

Today we had the visit of one of my mother's friends. I just notice that I'm living the life of a woman from the XIX century, visiting people, getting visited, wanting to go to the sea, reading books.

[thediaryofakafkaesquegirl]

November 19th, 2024, Tuesday:

I got diagnosed with hypothyroidism, im not surprised, I've been suspecting that for months now. I have hope for my recovery, maybe this was the problem all along. I applied for a job in a really fancy store.

[thediaryofakafkaesquegirl]

November 17th, 2024, Sunday:

Peacefull sunday. Spent the day watching Agatha all along.

[thediaryofakafkaesquegirl]

November 16th, 2024, Saturday:

My mother and I spent the day visiting a friend of hers, it was a lovely time. We had coffee and little desserts in her house, a big house with a beautiful garden and now I know, fresh air cures my soul.

[thediaryofakafkaesquegirl]

November 15th, 2024, Friday:

The weight of life made me get up from my bed at 1pm, I was awake but I was tired. The heaviness of sadness was too much. Tomorrow I have to go out, maybe the fresh air makes me feel better. I had ramen for dinner.

[thediaryofakafkaesquegirl]

November 14th, 2024, Thursday:

It's so dangerous how comfortable I am with my sadness to the point of not being able to enjoy happiness or peace for more than two days. I had to babysit my neighbors toddler again. I had to take a nap in the afternoon cause the weight on my chest was too much for me.

[thediaryofakafkaesquegirl]

November 13th, 2024, Wednesday:

It was a quiet abd peaceful day. Spent time with my mother and it was good. I has spaghetti carbonara for lunch.

[thediaryofakafkaesquegirl]

November 12th, 2024, Tuesday:

It's been a weird day, I just had to go out and spend time outside. I think I'm too much in my head and that's what's makes me feel hopeless. The fresh air, the music, Jane Eyre reading in a park.

[thediaryofakafkaesquegirl]

November 10th, 2024, Sunday:

We had a really big storm here. I'm fine, physically, the punishment of being without the hope of going back to normal made me anxious. We had no electricity and no internet for 5 days. People says we're gonna be fine soon, I still have hope. Finished reading Lolita and started writing again.

[thediaryofakafkaesquegirl]

November 4th, 2024, Monday:

New week, new illusions? Watched some old photos and it didn't felt melancholic. There's hope for me I guess, I don't yearn for the past anymore. Found out a pretty notebook and I think I'm gonna start journaling again, doing art on my own way again.

[thediaryofakafkaesquegirl]

November 3rd, 2024, Sunday:

Normally Sundays come with an inherited sadness, but today was a pretty calm day. I miss drinking wine, but I'm trying my best to drink less. Had an excellent and warm coffee this morning.

[thediaryofakafkaesquegirl]

November 2nd, 2024, Saturday:

The worst thing we can do is start to think about all the things we've lost, all the wrong choices we've made, all the things we don't have. Lately I've been finding comfort in melancholy. I shouldn't feel good feeling like this. I had a good afternoon.

[thediaryofakafkaesquegirl]

November 1st, 2024, Friday:

Inspiration came to me like a heat wave on a sunday. Doing art is what I have to do? Why I keep stuck on that though? That's what I want to do with my life? Maybe, but not right now. Finding a job it's a difficult thing to do when you don't want to do anything at all, but right now I just discovered that, for now, I can make myself useful.