thefreegladelancer

[thefreegladelancer]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[thefreegladelancer]

like my absolute favourite clickhole thing from this year

[thefreegladelancer]

Hey guys it's summer solstice today so the days are only going to get shorter from now on, enjoy the sun while it last!

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˙spɹɐʇsɐq ʇᴉ ʇɐ dǝǝʞ ¿ʎǝ 'ɹǝƃuol ʇǝƃ ɐuuoƃ ʎllɐuᴉɟ ǝɹɐ sʎɐp oS ˙ʇunɔ ǝɥʇ 'ǝɔᴉʇslos ɹǝʇuᴉʍ s,ʇᴉ 'sǝʇɐɯ ʎO

[thefreegladelancer]

Conversation carried out throughout the shift

[thefreegladelancer]

[thefreegladelancer]

so i wore a pride flag pin to work the other day and the kids were all interested (obviously) (find me a classroom of preschoolers who are not obsessed with rainbows) (i'll wait) so they crowded around to see.

"aww!" they said, "it's a flag!!"

but the thing is: they're little. a lot of them don't really have a handle on all their mouth sounds yet.

such as, notably, that tricky tricky "L" sound.

[thefreegladelancer]

[thefreegladelancer]

this guy

reblog if you agree

[thefreegladelancer]

Mako. What was all that about? I mean… I'm not crazy. You felt it, right? We are Drift compatible.

Raleigh Becket & Mako Mori PACIFIC RIM│2013

[thefreegladelancer]

[thefreegladelancer]

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my family and how I was treated as a child, and honestly, my father has never seemed more amazing in my eyes.

I used to love Luigi(Mario's brother) when I was little. Like, he was my favorite character ever, and I had multiple plushies of him. Didn't give a fuck about Mario, vaguely tolerated Peach, but I loved Luigi.

On my first day of kindergarten, my dad gave me the number for his work phone and said it was Luigi's phone number. "If anything happens at school, call Luigi."And not even twenty minutes into my first day, I was having a panic attack. So I went down to the principal's office and called "Luigi."

Now, at the time, my father was in a meeting with his manager and his supervisor, along with most of his coworkers. And when I called, he picked up before he even left the room.

And he put on a very awful Italian accent and said, "Itsa me, Luigi! Whatsa the matter?"In front of his boss and coworkers. Without telling them what was going on. So they were absolutely bewildered, and he carried on like they didn't even exist. He only explained what was happening after I had calmed down and hung up, to which most of them responded with "Aww, cute."

I continued to call him whenever I got upset at school, and eventually his coworkers got in on it. I distinctly remember one of them impersonating Toad. I don't know why I'm telling you this, I just thought it might make you smile :)

this is so delightful I love your Luigi dad

[thefreegladelancer]

hey guys i'm going to the store can u make sure nothing happens to my chocolate milk

[thefreegladelancer]

pet cemetery in yorkshire. it was the biggest stone in the lot 🐁

[thefreegladelancer]

please stop writing "viscous" when you mean "vicious", it produces the weirdest mental images ever

[thefreegladelancer]

“The Slur Song” by @bigfoots-biggest-fan as performed by Cisero @ The Prohibition Cabaret

I fucking love this song so much and as soon as my friend played it for me for the first time, I knew I had to perform this. This is just such a banger song to perform at any drag show bc I am given plenty of people to point to. Not to mention that I had my family front row for this one.

The coat for this look took 40 hours to bedazzle alone (and gave me a serious case of solvent poisoning-) and the paper pad took me about 4 hours to complete in total. I’m glad I managed to get these pictures from @/solcm15 on insta so I at least have some good pictures of this beast. Needless to say, I’ve changed how I bedazzle from now on.

Just look at this hot bitch… Everyone gets to have a meeting with the Drag HR Manager and I hope to perform this number so many more times ❤️

[thefreegladelancer]

Yesterday evening I went to my cousin's anime/manga club and played a bit with her friend and we messed around with the camera in selfie mode

A glitch happened while I was doing emotes and I HAD to make it a gif because I was dead and immediately pressed his screenshot button to record it

[thefreegladelancer]

the whole "lipstick on a pig" thing makes no sense because the second we gave a pig access to makeup she became god's cuntiest soldier