thegeekgene

[thegeekgene]

i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door

[thegeekgene]

Historians Debate: "Was Enkidu history's first Manic Pixie Dream Girl?"

These Historians Are Subsequently Denied Tenure

[thegeekgene]

spooky Aradia because you know what time is it

[thegeekgene]

my grandmas dawg

[thegeekgene]

they posted a full version lol it’s mr Stacy’s dad for me

[thegeekgene]

Remembering the time my dad sued some people and opposing counsel spent the whole trial repeating his full name with spooky emphasis like he was some terrifying law demon rising from the depths to tempt the unwary into frivolous litigation

[thegeekgene]

STOP! before you decide you are irretrievably doomed, try one of the following options:

transition

bdsm

iron supplements

[thegeekgene]

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my family and how I was treated as a child, and honestly, my father has never seemed more amazing in my eyes.

I used to love Luigi(Mario's brother) when I was little. Like, he was my favorite character ever, and I had multiple plushies of him. Didn't give a fuck about Mario, vaguely tolerated Peach, but I loved Luigi.

On my first day of kindergarten, my dad gave me the number for his work phone and said it was Luigi's phone number. "If anything happens at school, call Luigi."And not even twenty minutes into my first day, I was having a panic attack. So I went down to the principal's office and called "Luigi."

Now, at the time, my father was in a meeting with his manager and his supervisor, along with most of his coworkers. And when I called, he picked up before he even left the room.

And he put on a very awful Italian accent and said, "Itsa me, Luigi! Whatsa the matter?"In front of his boss and coworkers. Without telling them what was going on. So they were absolutely bewildered, and he carried on like they didn't even exist. He only explained what was happening after I had calmed down and hung up, to which most of them responded with "Aww, cute."

I continued to call him whenever I got upset at school, and eventually his coworkers got in on it. I distinctly remember one of them impersonating Toad. I don't know why I'm telling you this, I just thought it might make you smile :)

this is so delightful I love your Luigi dad

[thegeekgene]

Look, if you're having a bad day, here's a 6,000 year old pig-shaped pottery pot.

[thegeekgene]

one of the most challenging skills i've had to learn as an adult is the art of figuring out whether i'm proportionally annoyed with someone or just tired and overstimulated and looking for reasons to be pissed off

[thegeekgene]

just met a three month old pomeranian named horchata. her paw was the size of my fingertip. she looked like half a dandelion fluff

[thegeekgene]

The moment tire deg becomes a real and urgent concern in your everyday life

[thegeekgene]

if i made a bruce springsteen movie it would all be made up. not even a biopic. the e street band gets abducted by aliens and has to learn to bring peace to two warring planets through the power of song

[thegeekgene]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[thegeekgene]

did trilobites walked among flowering plants

[thegeekgene]

went to an elementaryschool musical production and they started the show with the director saying: "Now there's some very small viewers here today, so just so you know. There will be a scary character later in the show. This is her," and a girl in a kinda scary ghost outfit did a creepy walk across the stage, then stood up straight and did a cheery wave, "but remember, it's just Nina. She's pretending to be scary."

Aaaand i would very much like for horror movies to have that as a little bonus feature you can chose. Let me start a movie with Guillermo del Toro showing me a scary ghost that might jump at me, but don't worry, thats just Doug!

[thegeekgene]

One time, about five minutes after meeting a coworker for the first time, he received a text from his wife. It was a blurry picture of a deer she saw on a walk. He showed me and told me how stupid he thought it was that she kept sending him stuff like this and he didn't know why she thought he cared.

I was taken completely off guard by this and awkwardly noted that I like it when my people share stuff with me.

He said something like "but interesting stuff right" and reiterated how weird it was she, his wife, who he presumably voluntarily became romantically involved with and ultimately married, might think he wanted to know things about her

I don't remember how this conversation ended but I remember sensing this vast chasm between me and my coworker. It felt existential. Irreconcilable. Like we perceived two different worlds. Like the basics of being a person in relation to another person (any other person) meant something fundamentally different to each of us.

I would have absolutely no memory of this guy if not for this. I have no idea why I was introduced to him or if I ever talked to him again or anything else about him but that moment was so profoundly off putting

I hope they aren't married anymore