thegoddamnnedhero

[thegoddamnnedhero]

Take Over

This is my second fic for the @borderlandsbigbang this fic is to go with the amazing art drawn by @dreamypastelskies  Find Their Art Here

Rating: M for language

Warnings: Blood, depictions of violence, swearing, I don’t know computers

Summary: Rhys and Co had finally defeated the vault of the traveler but an unwanted acquaintance decided to make an appearance in the least likely of places - in Rhys’s head.

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[thegoddamnnedhero]

“Call me Jack, honey. Handsome Jack.”

[thegoddamnnedhero]

Daddy Kink sentence starters

“Daddy’s home from work, pet. Have you done everything I ordered you to?” “Come here, bend over my lap and don’t move away until I’m done teaching you a lesson!” “There’s a good girl/boy, now open your mouth and show your Daddy how much you need him.” “Hand Daddy his belt and take your shirt off.” “Now, repeat after me: ‘I’ve been a very bad girl/boy and I deserve to be punished’.” “Spread your legs for Daddy… and beg for me to touch you.” “If I hear so much as one complaint coming from your dirty mouth you’ll go straight back into the cage.” “Daddy wants to hear you sing a song. Sit on my lap and make Daddy happy.” “What a beautiful girl/boy you are. But you need a lot of work. Stand up straight, eyes on the floor and walk like a model.” “Remember the book you wanted? I got it for you. It’s on top of the cupboard where you can’t reach it. Now ask me very nicely and I might lift you up.” “You do not get to decide when it hurts too much, understood?! I’ll stretch you further if you so much as whimper.” “Don’t worry, virgin. You’re not ready yet to be fucked by your Daddy. You need to be trained first.” “Daddy has some guests over. Be a good host and bring us drinks, pet.” “Are you really sick or just trying to get out of today’s chores? Let me take your temperature. Now, shh, you know Daddy is always fair with you. Unless he finds out you’re lying.” “Tell me how good I’m making you feel and maybe, just maybe, you can touch Daddy’s cock tonight.” “I don’t care that you’re humiliated. I don’t care that you don’t want it. I don’t care that you feel dirty being touched like this.” “You will come. You’re already close… You can’t stop me. I have you. I own you. Now struggle all you want before the end, but know that when you come you’re mine forever.” “I want you to wear this dress tonight when we go out for dinner. Underwear is not allowed. Understood?” “Don’t you dare come. I haven’t given you permission yet. I don’t care how impossible it feels. You will not come until I tell you to!” “How dare you come all over Daddy’s hand when he hasn’t said you could!” “I know your wrists are sore from being tied down, but you still have three more hours to go. That’s what happens to bad girls/boys.” “You didn’t think I’d forget your birthday, did you? I even got you a present. I’m going to make you feel spoiled today, because you’ve been such a good pet to Daddy.”

[thegoddamnnedhero]

Handsome Jack: Laptop overheating? Pour water on it to cool it down!

Rhys: I trusted you.

Handsome Jack: Do not trust people like me. I will take you to museums and parks and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place so you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave, you will finally understand why storms are named after people.

[thegoddamnnedhero]

Borderlands guns compared to different electronics.

via reddit

[thegoddamnnedhero]

(seductively licks lips)

(grabs your wrist)

(furiously hits you with your own hand)

WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF WHY AR

[thegoddamnnedhero]

[thegoddamnnedhero]

I was a little shithead in heaven and as a punishment I now have to be your guardian angel and even though your cute as fuck I still fucking hate it AU

- (@attackonmybankaccount)

[thegoddamnnedhero]

SSHHHUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTT  UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!

[thegoddamnnedhero]

Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator Sentence Starters

“Betrayed by my own butt yet again.”

“Can you explain memes to me?”

“Contrary to popular belief, penguins are… birds.”

“Did you think I was gonna stab you just now?”

“Don’t cry. Don’t cry. I swear to god if you cry again.”

“Don’t write checks your dick can’t cash.”

“Here’s to bad decisions and relaxed moral values.”

“How’s the…… jeeeeeeeeeesus?”

“I am a happy little cheese monster.”

“I am spinning a web of lies that I fear will one day consume me.”

“I don’t want your stupid fruit leather.”

“I have to get a solid two to three hours of brooding in per day. Filling quotas.”

“It’s called ‘string cheese’ and not ‘chompy cheese’ for a reason.”

“I’ll probably end up standing uncomfortably in the corner with a plate of food and hope that nobody talks to me.”

“I’m so many levels of irony deep I’ve forgotten what humour is.”

“I’m suddenly struck with the overwhelming need to crawl back into bed.”

“Mothman is bullshit.”

“My ultimate sexual fantasy is sleeping in on a Saturday.”

“OH SHIT THAT’S A KNIFE.”

“See you in class… bitch.”

“Sharks are tight.”

“So, you ever kill a man?”

“Stop being so desperate to please your hot friend.”

“That… that is a good butt.”

“The key to being cool is acting like you don’t care about anything but actually care very deeply about everything to the point where it’s debilitating.”

“This ice cream cake is my new boyfriend.”

“This is where I come to masturbate.”

“Wait, I’m a wreck.”

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.”

“You can never be too careful. See that baby in that stroller over there? Government operative.”

“Your face… is… good.”

“Your unending thirst will be your ultimate downfall.”

[thegoddamnnedhero]

Reblog if you value OOC communication.

With your RP partner(s), your guildmate(s), or even acquaintances in random RP/scenes you’ve never met before! You prefer to talk OOC to establish a dialogue, a conversation, and who knows? Maybe even friendship and adventures!

[thegoddamnnedhero]

Getting to know you Questions for the Mun!

🎂- When's your birthday?

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦- What's your family like?

🐶- Favorite animal?

🔶- Favorite color(s)?

🎥- Favorite movie?

📺- Favorite TV show?

🎞- Favorite cartoon/anime?

🍔- Favorite food?

🍦- Favorite ice cream flavor?

🍭- Favorite candy?

🍸- Do you drink?

👣- What do you like to do in your spare time?

⚽️- Do you like any sports?

🎮- Favorite video game(s)?

⛪️- Are you religious?

⌛️- Last thing you did before logging in?

🎈- Share a childhood memory!

🛍- What was the last purchase you made for?

💸- If you had a billion dollars and could only spend it, what would you buy first?

🖌- Are you artsy?

❤️- How would you describe yourself?

💛- How do other people describe you?

⭕️- Favorite Pokemon?

💠- what is the Most expensive thing you own?

⚜- What is the most precious thing you own?

🐻- Do you have any stuffed animals?

🐝- Favorite season?

🐋- share a Weird/funny story?

[thegoddamnnedhero]

another day at the office @queen-of-the-collar

Another Goddamned secretary lost. Another after that last chick tired to shoot him in the face with a corrosive gun. He had to buy a new desk after that incident and it wasn’t like he was made out of fucking money - Well... He was, but that wasn’t the fucking point. 

Jack sat down at his new desk, one resistant to corrosive weapons, and opened the echo-net. He had to find a new secretary so he could get some work done. He could only be in so many places at once. Even with his dopplegangers. 

As he searched through new applicants, the name Jane Menson caught his eyes. He had never hired a Jane before - or maybe he had and the phrase plain Jane really came through.

“Lets hire her.“ Jack drawled the dragged out the ‘e‘ in her. he pressed the submit button to confirm his new secretary and the deed was done. “Lets see if she actually shows up tomorrow.“

[thegoddamnnedhero]

Share the deets man. Join my kingdom of filth

I have an absolutely filthy idea for a rhack smut fic and I don’t know what to do with it because of the weird sort of uncomfortable/curious feelings i have about it.

[thegoddamnnedhero]

stopped working on the new years comic 2 make this.

im not joking btw.

[thegoddamnnedhero]

Tim apologizing to books for shit talking them

[thegoddamnnedhero]

I did a thing.