thegoldensnatchy-blog

[thegoldensnatchy-blog]

I'M BACK WITH A BEATER DRILL, BITCHES!

That's right, followers. The Golden Snatchy is back and boy do I have a drill for you! BADASS BEATER DRILL (because I'm bad at naming stuff and like alliteration)

This drill is great for making lazy asses like me run sprints without feeling like shit. Even if I don't get the bludger first, I still have a chance to redeem myself by catching the bludger and hitting the other beater.

HOW IT WORKS

1. Have players line up in two single file lines with one person holding the bludger in front of said lines (henceforth known as the Bludger Bitch because why not).

2. The Bludger Bitch throws it either left, right, or behind them in a random-ass fashion. 

3. The two players at the front of their lines must race to get the Bludger.

But wait...there's more!

4. The drill does not end until one player beats the other. For example, if the person who gets the bludger first throws it and the second person catches it, the drill continues.

5. Repeat until everyone has gone a sufficient number of times.

HAPPY BEATING!

[thegoldensnatchy-blog]

For the Love of God, Learn People’s Names!

If you want to recruit and retain more players, learn their names within the first one or two practices.

Random Person: But Snatchy, that’s super obvious and not a big priority. It’ll happen eventually. Plus, what does that have to do with Quidditch? If they love the game, they’ll stay.

Well, Random Person, I have to disagree.  

Many people tend to stay with a team, club, or organization because they feel valued and have made friends. It’s difficult to do that when no one knows your name and refers to you as “Guy in the Red Shirt” during your fourth practice.

Random Person: Okay. I feel ya, but I’m super bad with names and embarrassed to ask. What do I do? Good question, Random Person.

Here’s a great way for new players to practice passing AND learn each other’s names:

The Super Cleverly Titled Name Game

  All players begin by standing in a circle.

   Have everyone state his or her name.

    One player will pass the Quaffle to another player. They must say the name of the person they are passing the ball to before releasing it.

   This continues until everyone has received the Quaffle. Encourage players to ask someone’s name if they can’t remember.

   Repeat this for about 5 minutes or until everyone is confident that they know each other’s names.

   Play the game again at the start of the next practice, this time using multiple balls. This solidifies the memorization and creates an extra challenge.

If you’re still skeptical, think of it this way- The longer you wait to learn people’s names, the more awkward it will be later on in the semester when you still have no idea who they are and you need to pass to them during a match.

[thegoldensnatchy-blog]

The Problem With "Girl _____s"

“She’s an awesome Girl Beater.”

“I hope we get some good Girl Chasers this year.”

While you may not have heard these exact phrases, I believe most people in the Quidditch community have spoken or heard similar ones. I’ve always had a problem with this type of phrasing, but only recently was I able to figure out a good way to present why it is a problem.

Here’s an example, taken from “Language and Women’s Place” by Robin Lakoff, that discusses the use of “lady” rather than “woman”, but I find that it is applicable to this situation as well. “One says, normally, “woman doctor”. To say “lady doctor” is to be very condescending: it constitutes an insult. For men, there is no such dichotomy. Garbage man or salesman is the only possibility, never garbage gentleman. And of course, since in the professions the male is unmarked, we never have man (male) doctor.”

This last sentence is of particular interest. Because “male” is implied, there is not a need to say “man doctor”. Similarly, when referring to a Beater or other position, one does not say “male Beater”. For some, players are assumed to be male unless specifically stated otherwise. I fear that if the use of “Girl ____” becomes widely used, this assumption will become the norm.

This is a serious problem. Quidditch a co-ed sport, one in which male and female players are given equal opportunity to showcase their abilities. Naming female players “Girl _____” separates women into a different category. I believe there is no need for a separate category, and that creating one implies a difference in skill level and ultimately implies that female Quidditch players are inferior.

I understand that in some instances, the term “Girl ____” may be necessary to ensure the gender rule is followed when substituting players. For example, “We need a Girl Chaser!”

While I would prefer the phrase “Girl ____” to be discontinued, I feel that eliminating it does not solve the problem. The way in which men and women view each other as athletes is what needs to change, not just the language we use to describe each other.

I hope that even if you choose to continue using the phrase, you will at least stop to think about its possible implications.

Feel free to disagree or present counter-arguments.

[thegoldensnatchy-blog]

[thegoldensnatchy-blog]

Hello, World!!

Snatchy here. I’m not sure how often I’ll post or what exactly I’ll be posting, but you can bet your bottom dollar it’s going to (probably) be about Quidditch (aka “Muggle” Quidditch)!

Random Person: But Snatchy, what is Muggle Quidditch? Me: Well, Random Person, why don’t you click here and find out?

For those of you not familiar with the Quidditch scene, there’s already several famous anonymous Quidditch commentators out there, but I thought I’d try my hand at it anyway. One of them is known as Snitchy (or The Golden Snitchy) and since I’m bad at coming up with my own names, I figured I’d spoof his.

I hope he doesn’t mind. If he does, that’s what the whole “being anonymous” thing is all about. Hiding behind a false name to avoid anger and rejection. Wow. That’s a terrible way to end my first post. Um… Here’s a picture of a player some call “Sexy Jesus”.