thegreattwistedone

[thegreattwistedone]

the AC breaks in Peter's apartment during the heatwave so he spends most of his time at Tony's place. He expects Mr. Stark to ask him why he's suddenly always around or get annoyed, but he doesn't mention anything (until Peter goes back home and gets a dozen texts about why he isn't at dinner, why they aren't watching law and order tonight, why he didn't help him in the lab, why isn't he in his room the guest room, where'd he go)

Peter ends up spending a lot more time hanging out at the tower even once his AC is fixed

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Dick: Okay, so with Bruce being on a mission with the Justice League, we need someone to be Batman.

Jason: So you just be Batman again

Damian: Actually, I strongly disagree with that arrangement

Tim: Don't tell me.... you think you should be Batman?

Damian: No, I'm aware I don't have the same attitude to be Father

Jason: really?... just the attitude?

Damian: I believe Cain should be Batman

Cassandra: Oh?

Dick: Umm.... Dami, I don't think-

Damian: Think about it. Grayson is too nice, Jason has way too much pent-up anger

Jason: Fuck you.

Damian: And well Drake is just..... Drake

Tim: Wow...

Damian: Cain is the only person who can match Father to a T.

Dick: There are many reasons why she can't be-

Jason: No, no, no, Dick. The demon child has a point

Dick: ..... um, okay then

(Later thar night)

Penguin: About time you showed up-

Cassandra (in Bat suit): You'll pay for your crimes

Penguin: ..... the hell am I looking at?

Robin: What?

Penguin: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT? WHO IS THIS?

Red Hood: Batman, duh

Penguin: No, don't do that

Nightwing: Don't do what? This is Batman

Penguin: That's obviously a teenage girl

The Batkids: (gasps loudly and in sync)

Penguin: WHAT?!

Red Hood: How dare you assume his gender.

Robin: During Pride Month, too

Red Robin: (shaking his head) and here I thought you were an alley

Penguin: okay no just take me in

[thegreattwistedone]

observation: among a certain subset of tumblr users, the term “blorbo” has become unchic, but the concept it describes is still important; and so it has been replaced with “The Character”

[thegreattwistedone]

Ok ik this probably isn't real but what if Alfred thought it would be fine if he just gave Tim the suit and told him "go, be free, don't die or you're fired" bc he forgot kids don't usually fight martial arts or given Bat Training™ from a young age. Imagine:

Alfred: Go be the light in these dark times, son.

Tim: thank you. I will.

*15 minutes later*

Bruce, kicking down the door, holding Tim by the cape and dangling him like a scuffed cat: ALFRED WHAT THE HELL!

Alfred: Sir! That was mahogan-

Bruce: You can't just let him go out there! He didn't even know how to punch correctly!!!

Alfred: Whatever do you mean, he should have learned that by now.

Bruce:

Alfred:

Bruce: ... W h a t

Alfred: Young Mr. Drake should have learned by now several martial arts. I mean when you were 11, you-

Bruce, absolutely tired: Alfred.

Alfred: -And by 16 he'll be ready for aerial combat. When I enlisted, lying about my age, I took to the planes rather fast-

Bruce: ALFRED.

Alfred: Don't shout at me, Master Bruce, it's unbecoming. What is it?

Bruce, holding up Tim higher to be in Alfred's line of sight and gesturing vaguely at the small child: HE DOESN'T KNOW COMBAT. HE'S NORMAL.

Alfred: Normal? What do yo- oooooohhhhhhhhhhh

Bruce: YEAH. 'OH' IS RIGHT!!!

Alfred: ... What did I just say about shouting? It's unseemly, Master Bruce.

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5 times the batfam uses Dick's name to persecute Bruce

"Dick is ready - "

"Not unless you've taken Viagra, old man"

-

"Dick is up-"

"Do not be disgusting Father."

-

"I need Dick for this."

"I'll call Clark but TMI Bruce."

-

"Dick - "

"Language, Master Bruce."

-

It's been weeks since Bruce last said Nightwing's name out loud, and they are all here to punish him for it.

"I'll remind you all we are in a public space," he says in warning, before sighing heavily. His considers his words and grimaces, but there is no way out. Gordon also appears to be holding back his delight. "Dick will not be available for dinner, Commissioner."

Swanning past, his eldest (who had clearly lied about an emergency in Blüdhaven) remarks, "The catering staff finalised the menu weeks ago, too late to change it B."

He is going to disown them all.

-

Thank you @grannyhitsuzen!

[thegreattwistedone]

Wip of robins watching a(n outrageous) mobie

[thegreattwistedone]

A chronic pain Bucky dealing with his arm pain

[thegreattwistedone]

WARNING: organ trafficking stuff

Sequel to this post

Also inspiration from this fic

[thegreattwistedone]

okay they look nothing alike..

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"What do you want from a remake" I DON'T WANT THEM. I DON'T WANT ANOTHER SOULLESS NOSTALGIA-FILLED CASH-GRAB. I DON'T WANT ANY OF THEM. I DON'T WANT ADAPTATIONS THAT KILL THE ORIGINAL MESSAGE OF THE THING THEY WERE BASED UPON NEITHER THE SHOT-BY-SHOT DESATURATED RECREATIONS. I WANT ORIGINAL STORIES!!! NOT REMAKES OF MOVIES THAT AIN'T EVEN 30 YEARS OLD!!!​AAGGGGGHHH

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Can't keep these friggin bugs off him

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if somebody doesn’t animate that ‘come on barbie lets go party’ tiktok trend where the gender roles are reversed into the wayne kids messing about at a gala with steph, cass, and damian doing the man part while jason tim and dick eagerly do the girls bit, SOON, i am going to LOSE MY MIND IT IS LITERALLY PERFECT HOW HAS NOBODY ELSE DONE THAT YET

[thegreattwistedone]

[thegreattwistedone]

Wwx doesn’t care that much about cleaning his image

BUT there’s one little thing he can’t overlook.

[thegreattwistedone]

Patriach gold version finished!! Lan Zhan his precious golden core 💙🖤

[thegreattwistedone]

[thegreattwistedone]