thegreatzeldini

[thegreatzeldini]

THE GOOD PLACE | 1.12

Bonus:

[thegreatzeldini]

I saw this tumblr post and HAD to draw it, please accept my humble A:TLA offering.

[thegreatzeldini]

"Your enemy travels by private jet, not migrants dingy"

Poster seen in London

[thegreatzeldini]

"you can use ai to improve spelling and grammar"

[thegreatzeldini]

sharks every time theres a cataclysmic extinction event: damn thats crazy. anyway

[thegreatzeldini]

A new drawing- visualising the books always stacked up on my bedside table.

From top to bottom mine currently are:

The Fortnight in September by RC Sherriff

Every Elizabeth Strout book

Birnham Wood by Eleanor Catton

Reservoir 13 by Jon McGregor

A crime thing I know I won’t like with a cliched ominous house on the cover

Bleak House by Dickens, I’m going to guess the second half

The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen

An Elric omnibus by Michael Moorcock, absolute nonsense and I love it

The Bright Sword by Lev Grossman, waiting on my third Libby queue after tackling 30% on each of the other borrows

And finally on the right- gigantic The Lyrics by Paul McCartney, doesn’t fit anywhere and I don’t currently have a coffee table for it to be in its natural habitat

You can buy a print in a couple different colours via my Etsy shop

[thegreatzeldini]

you cannot save me!! i am unsaveable!!! i have never been saved!!!!!!!!

[thegreatzeldini]

Claudette Colbert & Miriam Hopkins in The Smiling Lieutenant (1931)

[thegreatzeldini]

disco elysium is kafkas metamorphosis for the modern age. no one is scared of becoming a bug anymore. the true nightmare? waking up one day and finding out your a cop

[thegreatzeldini]

Dude I totally signed on for this gig because I thought it was an ensemble cast adventuring group type situation but low-key dave has been giving protagonist lately :/ yeah I just don’t know how I feel about being a companion you know? Why did the backing track change to a minor key.

[thegreatzeldini]

Okay the WEIRDEST THING is going going down right now

So some guy in Michigan in the US has just found a letter in his grandmother’s house; it seems to be a pen pal letter from 1973ish, and it’s from a young Welsh girl. In it, she lists:

Her name, and the names of her brother (Gwynedd) and sister (Catrin)

Their ages

Where she lives in Wales (Denbigh)

Her hobbies, including horse riding and reading pony books.

So this American dude decides to take a photo, whack it on Twitter and ask the only Welsh person he knows if there’s any way to track this Welsh girl down, because you know, ALL WELSH PEOPLE KNOW EACH OTHER, OBVIOUSLY

Except

I am furious to report that it has worked

Welsh person he tags doesn’t know, but takes up the challenge. Someone reckons the Catrin might be a woman who translated a hymn book once, and checks the foreword to see that the dates and ages do seem to be about right. Someone else suddenly has a brainwave - wait, isn’t she the mother of Steff, the comedian?

My husband gets tagged, takes one look at this letter, and is like “That is 1000% my aunt.”

So now it’s 20 to midnight, Steff’s aunt has obviously not yet seen the excited message to put Twitter out of their misery, and my mother-in-law is currently on the phone gleefully telling us that when that letter was written her sister had never sat on a horse in her life before, and she’d lied to an American pen pal for clout before the internet even existed.

[thegreatzeldini]

i mean this in the nicest way possible but some of you need to learn how to be annoyed

[thegreatzeldini]

thinking david corenswet is hot is the most embarrassing reputation ruining annoying thing I could have done tbh like ohhh my god really? tall big muscles dark hair and blue eyes kind man is hot? god fucking really. are you fucking stupid I hate myself. oh you think superman is hot? fucking superman? groundbreaking type shit going on here oh my god he’s tall should we tell everyone he’s tall and his jaw is nice wow she thinks the attractive man is attractive. you and everyone else. is pizza your favorite food too. fuck you. everyone look at her she thinks SUPERMAN is hot boundaries are really being pushed over here should we get her a medal because she thinks Mr Smile is easy on the eyes. “hear me out” and it’s a fucking marching band. should we call people magazine. vanilla. I DISGUST myself. summer blockbuster. I should be killed

[thegreatzeldini]

I'm part of a wood carving club and there are a lot of dads who are dripping with adhd/autism vibes who's special interest is wood carving. One of the master skill level carvers who we'll call... Jim was working on a figure of a super heroine, who was frankly outrageously bodacious. Several women in the club are uncomfortable with this. They tell me they wish he wouldn't carve stuff like that at the club. This is understandable. I felt a bit uneasy too. I ask if they told him, and they say no.

This goes on for months. He's at a point where he's carving the folds of her skin tight suit. It's shockingly impressive. A real Giovanni Strazza with wood here. Many of the women in the club, (also boomers) have stopped talking to him because they're offended.

One afternoon I see a woman we'll call Karen approach him and have this conversation Her: Wow that is really starting to look like actual fabric. Him: Thanks! It's been a really fun challenge. Her: I bet! She sure is - a lot- huh? Him: Yeah a lot of these comic book characters are really outrageously proportioned! Her: They really are! You know, when I was carving a sign that was political in a way i knew would offend some people here, I just felt so much more comfortable carving it at home. Him: *nodding* Her: Okay? Him: Yeah I get that. Her: Yeah. Okay. Good luck with her!" *she walks off and he looks a little confused.* Next week at the meet up Jims working on it again and Karen's furious. Says to me "He said he wouldn't bring it back! So RUDE." So I go up to him and we have this conversation. Me: Hey Jim Him: Hey Neala Me: Some of the ladies around here are feeling a little uncomfortable with the figure you're carving because of her massive cartoon titties. Him: Ah shit, really? I thought they just thought it was funny. Me: Yeah folks laugh a lot when they're uncomfortable and trying to hide it. Him: Mm, yeah and I can never tell which laugh is which. Me: Me either Him: Well I won't work on this here anymore. I have other projects to do. Me: Hey thanks! I wanna see it when you're done tho so take a pic for me, okay? Him: Haha sure! I go sit down. Karen is shocked. Jim puts the figure away and works on a carving of a crane instead. He is not upset.

A week later I over hear Karen telling her friend I screamed at Jim last week.

[thegreatzeldini]

fuck terry pulling no punches in this one

[thegreatzeldini]

*Valley Girl voice*: I must, like, not fear. Fear is literally the mind-killer. Like it’s basically the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will totally face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me, and? When it’s gone? I’m gonna like turn the inner eye to see its path! Where the fear has gone there will be literally nothing. Only I will remain.