thegyudguy

[thegyudguy]

Start na tayong kumuha ng driver's license self. Hahah

[thegyudguy]

Panu ba magkajowa? Hahah

[thegyudguy]

Kabataang Pilipino Para sa Matatag na Kinabukasan ng Bagong Pilipinas

Sa puntong ito, nais ko munang iparating ang aking taos-pusong pasasalamat sa bumubuo ng Paaralang ito, magmula sa punong-guro, mga guro, ang aking ina, at mga katuwang sa pamamalakad upang maayos na maiparating ang edukasyon sa ating mga mag-aaral. Pasasalamat sapagkat ako ang napili ninyong makapiling ng mga mag-aaral na magsisipagtapos ngayong araw upang magbigay inspirasyon at kaunting leksyon hango sa aking mga sariling karanasan sa aking pagtahak sa karera at buhay na aking kinapapalooban.

Bago ang lahat, nais ko sanang iatas sa inyong mga magsisipagtapos na lingunin ninyo ang inyong mga katabi, ang inyong mga kaklase, mga itinangi, mga nakasamaan ng loob at mga naging kaibigan. Ngitian. Tanguan. Marahang kurutin. Tapikin sa balikat. At pasalamatan. Sa dami ng hamon gaya ng pandemya at ng pagbabago ng klima, hindi biro ang inyong naging pakikibaka upang makarating kayo rito kasama nila. Minsan lang tayong magiging bata. At sa pagiging bata natin unang matututuhan ang mga mahahalagang leksyon sa ating buhay, gaya ng pagiging mabuti, kasipagan, pakikipag kawanggawa, at pagiging magalang. At sa pagtulong humulma ng mga katangiang ito, napakalaking respeto ang sa palagay ko’y dapat igawad sa ating mga guro. Isama ninyo na ring tunghayan at batiin sila na siyang naging pangalawang magulang ninyong tumutulong pumanday sa inyo bilang tao. Higit sa pagbibiro, ngunit magmula pagkabata nang sila ay mag-aaral pa lamang, hanggang sa pagreretiro, hindi na nila iniwan ang paaralang gaya nito. Isipin nyo nalang kung gaano nila kamahal ang kanilang trabaho at kinakaya nilang pakibagayan at pagtyagaan ang iba’t ibang ugali ng mga batang kagaya ninyo. There is no better personification of passion than that of the teachers.

Simulan natin ang ating munting kwentuhan sa Pangarap. Noong panahon na ako ang magtatapos, kasama na rin ng aking mga kamag-aaral at mga kaibigan na nakikinig sa guest speaker sumagi na rin sa aking kaisipan kung ano kaya ang pakiramdam ng magtagumpay? Kaakibat din nito ang aking kagustuhang umangat kahit kaunti sa buhay. Kaming pamilya, kahit guro na ang aking ina, ay nakapisan lamang sa isang maliit na silid na halos katabi ng kanal na tuwing lumalakas ang ulan, walang pinipiling oras, pumapasok ang tubig at banlik sa aming hiram na tahanan. Ako, bilang sa sahig natutulog, hindi maiwasang magising na dinadampian na ng tubig baha ang aking katawan. Sa mga pagkakataong ganito, nabubuo sa aking gunita ang mga mumunting pangarap. Pinapatatag tayo ng mga ganitong pagsubok upang kahit ano pa mang dumating sa hinaharap kaya nating malampasan at mapagtagumpayan. Taasan at damihan natin ang ating mga pangarap, at palagiang piliting makamit ang mga ito. Pinagarap kong magkaroon kami ng sariling tahanan at hindi naman ako binigo ng tadhana. Iyan ay isa lamang yan sa aking mga pangarap na unti-unti kong tinutupad. The best part of dreaming is living in it.

Sa parehong tahanan pinapanday ng aking mga magulang lalo na ang aking ina, ang aking sarili sa pag-aaral. Sa murang edad, ipinaintindi nila sa akin ang kahalagahan ng pag-aaral. Tuwing pagsusulit, kinakailangang gumising nang madaling araw para lamang balikan ang mga napag-aralan, sauluhin ang mga pormulang gagamitin sa sipnayan at marami pang paraan upang mapanatili o mapaganda pa ang aking estado sa silid aralan. Naging kinatawan din ako sa ilang paligsahan noong ako nasa edad nyo pa lamang. Nadala ko siguro ang sipag sa pag-aaral hanggang sa pagkuha ng lisensya bilang isang Certified Public Accountant. Ang masasabi ko lamang, higit sa saya ng pagtatagumpay, ang sayang makitang ipinagmamalaki ka ng iyong mga magulang. Paunlarin ang iyong sariling kakayahan. Palaguin ang inyong kaalaman, palagiing maging mausisa sa mga bagay sa ating buhay at pagbutihin ang pag-aaral. Malayo ang mararating ng taong nagsusumikap sa buhay. Surrender yourself to the hardships of today for the betterment of your future.

Sa parehong panahon ng pagsusumikap ninyo para abutin ang inyong mga pangarap, huwag hayaang lumipas ang oras na hindi kayo nagsasaya. Magpakatotoo sa sarili at huwag hayaang kulungin ng pagtingin ng ibang tao ang iyong kakayahan. Maigsi lamang ang buhay upang punuin lamang ng panghihinayang. Palagiang ipamalas ang galing at lalo pa itong linangin. Kagaya ko, kung hindi ako masigasig sa pag-aayos ng mga proseso sa trabaho, hindi ako aangat sa posisyong kinalalagyan ko. Mataas pa ang aking pangarap, at lalo ko pang pinagbubutihan. Ang paglalakbay tungo sa tagumpay ay malimit na mahirap, mahiwaga, at hindi sigurado, gayunpaman, ito ang isa sa pinakamasayang parte ng pag-abot ng ating tagumpay, sapagkat kapag tayo ay nahihirapan, doon natin nararanasan ang pag-ibig, pagtutulungan at pagkakaibigan. Pahalagahan natin ang mga ito sapagkat maaaring minsan lang dumating sa buhay natin ang mga bagay kagaya nito. Enjoy the trail as much as you enjoy the summit.

Sa pagtatapos, nais ko sanang bigyang importansya ang ating pagiging Pilipino. Sa pagtupad natin ng ating kanya-kanyang pangarap, kasabay nito ang pag-unlad ng ating bayan. Bilang isang kawani ng pamahalaan, hanggang sa abot ng aking makakaya, pinipilit kong maisabuhay ang mga pagpapahalaga sa aming kagawaran. Dahil dito, unti-unti naisaayos ang proseso ng aming opisina, nagawaran din kami ng pagkilala dahil sa isang atas na aming nagawa. Ito ang aking munting ambag, kalakip ng mga pagtatagumpayan pa namin sa hinaharap, para sa ikauunlad ng bayan. Sama-sama tayong mangarap sa isang matatag, maginhawa at panatag na buhay bilang isang bansa. Iisa lang ang ating bayang Pilipinas. Ipagmalaki natin ito, mahalin at pangalagaan. Maraming salamat po.

[thegyudguy]

lost the game of chances

Hello, I hope you're doing well. I miss you or the way you were. I thought of you, a lot actually, this past few days. It was bittersweet. I was listening new album of Taylor Swift, our favorite. That's the commencement of my reminiscing of the passed days. I remember just talking to you about everything. I remember you listening to me at 2AM, crying because I miss my friend and I feel so alone in my room. I called you, not knowing if you would still answer. You did, I told you everything in few words. You let me cry, you let me feel my feelings. You comfort me. That's one thing that I always think about. You're my only ally in this world full of challenges and enemies and me. Yes, thank you for trying to make me fight the bad in me and comfort the good. I'm forever grateful for whatever we had. You were my first experience in a good relationship. I never thought we would be cut short. How did it end?

I still don't know. We both decided it. We both cried. To be honest, I wanted freedom and peace and it hasn't been peaceful and freeing. It was good but it might have been already run its course and completed it. There's nothing more to it for us. It was just it. It's been more than 3 months. 3-month rule, right? I missed us but it was best for us to grow separately. It was best for us to be me and you. To let go of things that binds us and grow. We took the chance for us but the chance is temporary. Life made us, momentarily. The rest is for you and me to discover on our own. There was us, now me and you.

Had a good run.

A moment of warm sun,

But I'm not the one.

So long.

[thegyudguy]

That tweet opens up a great deal of emotion about growing up and moving out. I couldn't imagine what my parents feel/felt when I made the decision to catch the end of the horizon knowing that once I step out of that door, our humble abode would never gonna be the same anymore. I couldn't bear to imagine the loneliness and fear that they might have felt when suddenly what was a daily sight would only become moments to be hoped for everyday.

On the other hand, I ponder on myself. What am I gonna look forward to when I reach their age? What will this life bring be knowing full well that having kids on my own is not of my liking? Will I regret having none? Will I be forever ungrateful that I adamantly fought the idea that "fullness" of life is not just about having children of my own? What am I gonna reminisce when the time comes?

In all of these, I should've known already that these thoughts only seep through when I am laden with sadness. However, sadness demands to be felt. In all the years of toil, endevouring every opportunity there is, what is it gonna deliver to me once huddling stops? I'd always be brought back to this feeling everytime, most especially whenever I realize that the universe does not guaranty that somebody's ever gonna be there with me.

[thegyudguy]

Office

One of the many learnings of this trip is that people are really not who we perceived them to be and the way they communicate and relate to you will never depend on how they are treated by you, rather, on how they really are as a person. In my case, I was told that someone from the office is not as accepting of other tasks that I seek assistance for. I would appreciate it if I am told upfront, however, if you tell other people of your unaccepting of the tasks to the point of influencing a rather participative colleague to think the same, I would pressume that you lack the drive to contribute to the goals of the office. I do not say that I own all of the passion and grit to improve our office, however, my dedication is second to nothing because at the end of the day, I really care for the office and for the organization.

[thegyudguy]

just some story, i think.

april 5, 2024 - 21:31

i was all geared up to hit the road, got my bags packed and a one-way ticket to madison. the booky told me that the soonest trip will be on friday, and i was cool with that, i wasnt on a hurry anyway. but then, thursday night comes, and you hit me with, "can you be there for me?" and without even thinking, i was like, "yeah sure, always." i was so set on leaving— or so i thought. but now, well, we're still here, aren't we?

you know, you never actually asked, but i dropped everything for you anyway. and now i'm left wondering if this was an act of courage or just me caving in like a total coward.

this might be a bit foolish, or it could be worth it. i guess i won't find out until the day you either let me down or come through for me.

it's ridiculously ironic how just yesterday, you were at my mercy, and now, without even trying trying, you've completely flipped the script. i never realized how much damn power you hold over me.

[thegyudguy]

This shouldn't have happened, but it did. Anyw. Posting here as a reminded to myself.

Me:

Masaya ka pa rito. Saan at kelan ko ba nasira ang gabi mo? Sa pagyaya na umuwi nang maaga? Puyat at pagod tayo parehas, tas sunod sunod na inuman, diba may sakit ka sa tyan? Hindi mo ba naisip na baka concerned lang din ako sayo kaya kita niyayaya? Na kung sabihin mong sana hindi nalang ako sumama, eh pano kung may masamang nangyari sayo? Nasa ibang lugar ka, sakin ka rin naman hahanapin diba? Napakainfair mo. Kung masaya ka kung nasan ka ngayon, siguro hindi ko naman talaga nasira ang araw mo. Baka ayaw mo lang talaga akong nasa mundo mo. Kala ko ba bestfriend ako? Pero bakit mas mababait ka pa sa ibang tao, gaya nung sa kagabi, kesa sa akin? Bakit sila kaya mong pakiharapan na parang tao ang kaharap mo, bakit pag ako, parang sakin napupunta lahat ng frustrations mo? Na konting mali ko lang, galit na galit ka agad nang todo. May emosyon din ako. Nasasaktan din ako. Sana mas nanaig sayo yung appreciation kasi ginawa ko tong travel na to para sayo. Parang sa isang iglap burado na lahat ng nagawa ko.

Nagmessage ako sa jowa mo

Hello. Galit na galit naman sakin si J. 😞

Ayaw na sumama sa isang activity. Tas kagapi pa sya galit na galit. Mukhang matagal nya akong di na naman kakausapin, ikaw na bahala sa kanya ah.

Birthday pa naman nya ngayon, sinira ko raw araw nya sabi nya kagabi. Hay.

Sorry napa-message ako sa yo.

Ito sinabi ko. Pero binura ko rin kasi sobrang takot ko sayo. Hindi ko alam kung nabasa nya. Alam kong hindi mo na ako mapapatawad dito sa ginawa ko. Sana maisip mo na hindi ako tangang nagbook ng boracay para lang sirain araw ng birthday mo.

Sobrang sakit nitong nangyari. Ginawa ko lahat ng gusto mo para mapasaya ka sa birthday mo. Konting pag intindi lang sana na dahil pagod, agahan umuwi, ganito ang isusukli mo sakin. Tao ako. Nasasaktan ako. Sa isang iglap lahat ng pa-thank you mo bago tayo magclub, nabura dahil lang don. Grabe. Hindi ko alam kung alin ang papaniwalaan ko. Kung masaya ka ba talaga, o thankful ka ba talaga? O humanap ka lang ng tiempo para magalit na naman sakin.

Kagabi, pinagbantay ka nalang ng mga bag nung mga yon, ayaw mo pa umuwi. Hindi ko na alam sayo

His response:

Para matapos na to at hindi humaba pa ang usapan. Ako na lang yun hihingi ng tawad. Sorry sa lahat. Ayoko ng sabihin yun side ko. Gusto ko na lang ng tahimik na buhay. Ayoko na din magpaliwanag sa sayo at sa ibang tao. Gusto ko lang umalis ka na sa buhay ko para hibdi ka ba din nahihirapan. Ayoko ng pahirapan pa. Yun Cebu paki cancel na lang yun leave pinacancel ko na lang din. Sa tuwing mag travel tayo hindi maiiwasan mag away hindi talaga tayo magkakasundo at aminado ako sa ugali ko na masama talaga. Please lang kung magpapansin ka lang sa mga malalapit sakin para maging masama ako huwag ka na magkwento sa kanila. Anong rason mo para sabihin sa kanila na ikaw mabait at ako masama? Naiinis ako kc bakit need mo ipaalam sa kanila para san? para may maging kakampi ka kaya nga tinatapos ko na kung ano man meron tayo at kung magkakasalubong man tayo gusto ko hindi na tayo magkakilala. Yun utang ko babayaran ko na lang ng paunti unti huwag kang mag alala makalabayad din ako. Salamat sa pag intindi at pag unawa sakin hayaan mo wala ka na iintindihin. Mag focus ka sa trabaho at pamilya mo. Uulitin ko umalis ka na sa buhay ko. Ayoko ko na ng makulit pa.

My (Our) Boracay Story. He's the same person that I was with in El Nido. My bad. Nagpakatanga ulit eh.

[thegyudguy]

How do I get through the night without

[thegyudguy]

September 8, 2023. I am officially single again. Sana it won't take another 5 years for my kilig to be bestowed upon me again. But yeah. Saw this coming. I thought I could always get up everyday feeling reinvigorated, despite the lack of everything else about having a relationship. Nag-pile up na pala sa heart. Anyw. Glad that it ended. Finding the one continues

[thegyudguy]

This anxiety is hitting too early this morning.

[thegyudguy]

Integrity

Back in February, when it seemed to us that the core value that we are about to give our reflection on was “Integrity”, I was almost pressed on stating that the root word for integrity was “integrate”, to “combine”, “to belong”. Funny that, until it was known to me already that today will be our schedule, I was almost certain that that’s where I will navigate my reflection. Until I searched its meaning and etymology in the internet.

The word comes from the Latin word "integer", which means "whole" or "complete". We always hear Integrity as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles or moral uprightness. This definition emphasizes the importance of being whole and complete in one's actions, thoughts, and words. Doing what is right even when no one is watching. I believe this was already discussed extensively last time.

Integrity may also mean a lot of other things such as the condition of being unified, unimpaired, or sound in construction or internal consistency or lack of corruption in electronic data.

If I may borrow the term that was mentioned during the Emergency Response Team Seminar last Thursday, that is “Structural Integrity”, as part of a working community, it is integral that we strengthen our knowledge on what we do, that the users of the information that we provide can rely on the output that wr provide. Be curious, be inquisitive, be skeptical and be critical of the challenges that hound us at work. With a prepared mind comes an uncompromising attitude.

We at Finance Division, we’ve made our own Mission and Vision to guide us with the way we work. And the very first item that we have there was “No Complaints”. How do we plan on achieving that, you may ask. That is simply by working as we should. We’ve strengthened our monitoring of vouchers so that we won’t hold vouchers for more than thirty days. Uncompromised. After all, as my boss said, it’s fulfilling that at the end of the day, we could lie on our bed knowing that we did everything at work with the right mind, right attitude and right decisions with integrity.

In addition, we've been doing a lot of reconciliations of data on our books because we want that our books be as reflective of our current status as possible. Afterall, in this day and age, data is king.

Today marks the deadline of filing and paying the annual ITR. For now, we could only hope that the taxpayers prepared their tax returns with integrity and honesty, knowing that what they are going to pay is what will fuel the government.

While we cannot change the perception of people about certain aspects of our lives, we can always change the way we live ours. That is with integrity.

Going back to me thinking that the root word of Integrity is Integrate, I may have thought of it differently but the essence of being part of a functioning society requires integrity, and it can be summarized into this, ‘KNOW YOUR WORK, AND KNOW YOUR WORTH”.

[thegyudguy]

The feeling of getting too angry to your father that you can almost feel the flame of the underworld already licking your soul.

It's been a month and a half and I can still feel it seeping through my mind.

[thegyudguy]

last night as i was falling asleep i was thinking about the beauty of loving someone in any form and just wanting things with them without any ulterior motives or any other goal. like wanting to be around someone because you love them and want them in your life, not because they can do something for you, wanting to make someone food or make things for them in general not because you expect something in return but because you want them to eat well and to be happy. wanting to hold someone just because you want them close and want to make them feel safe and warm. wanting to wash someones hair because you love them and want to take care of them. anyway i think its really sweet and beautiful how a lot of times when we love someone we do things like this

[thegyudguy]

We Flourish

Since last week, our offices are out of the power grid because of some accident on the first day of the last long weekend. Since then, the employees are crammed up in makeshift offices mostly at the ground floor and basement of our building. The floors are divided just to make do of whoever needs the connection or not, or who has more personnel in their plantilla, among others. We've also adapted a WFH arrangement to limit the warm bodies at the physical office, without jeopardizing the operations of the region.

The working environment is very hot. I mean, very hot. The moment we stepped in to our office, we can already feel the difference in the atmosphere, the air is very humid that even our papers felt like sweating.

For a more than a week now, nobody cared about how he looked nor how he smelled. We just cared about the task at hand, the timetable that needs to be met, the reports that need to be submitted. That no matter how we sweat just before the working time starts, up to the ticking of the clock at five, we can say that we've contributed to the goals of our office and of the region.

This is also an appreciation post to all of my co-revenuers from our bosses who shared the same room with us to our support team who braved the climb up to whatever floor just to help us deliver what we have to.

It's just a breath of fresh air that nobody shows bad attitude, yet (haha), but what not. For as long as we enjoy what we do, we flourish.

- from an employee who smelled fruity

[thegyudguy]

Pwede na bang speech ng best man sa kasal?

Ang maipagmamalaki ko lang sa inyo ngayon ay yung kaming apat ay nakabuo ng samahan na matibay at may pag-uunawaan sa isa't-isa.

Alam nyo, nung bata pa kami nyan ni _____ o ni bunso, madalas away-bati kami nyan. Magaling kasi yan sa mga laro, at sa mga sugal-bata. Yung kailangan mag-take ng risks, laging panalo, ako laging talo. Hindi dahil sa mahina ako, pero siguro 'mas ma-maabilidad lang talaga sya sa akin sa mga bagay-bagay. Asintado kaya yan sa jolens. Saka sa mga text. Kaya siguro sa pag-pupursigi na makabuo ng sariling pamilya mas mauuna sya. Hindi ko sya matalo kahit dito. Hehe.

Ang lamang ko lang siguro eh, mas gwapo at mas mukhang bata raw ako kesa sayo. Mas napagkakamalan pa nga akong bunso. Haha

Paborito rin yan ni tatay kasi bunso. Wala naman yang pagiging bitter sa part ko kasi alam naman natin na lahat tayo, paborito. Kasi siguro nakikita ni tatay ang sarili nya sa kanya. Maabilidad sa anumang aspeto ng buhay. Naitaguyod nga nila kaming magkakapatid ni nanay, diba. At siguro, nakuha rin ni bunso yang aspeto na yan. Na gagawin ang lahat para makapag-provide lang sa pamilya. Para maitaguyod ang pamilya.

Simple lang naman ang masasabi ko, bilang kuya mo. Maaalala mo nung nga bata pa tayo, kahit gaano man tayo magsakitan bilang magkalaban sa laruan, tayo pa rin ang uuwi sa tahanan. Magkasama. Magkaibigan.

Ngayong bubuo ka na ng sarili mong pamilya, maalala mo sana yung mga panahong tayo-tayo pa lang ang magkakasama. Na sa hirap at dusa, nandito lang kaming pamilya mo. Ako. Hangga't kaya ko, maaasahan mo, bilang kuya mo ako.

Palagiing lingunin sila tatay at nanay paminsan-minsan. Sila ang mas makapagsasabi ng tamang payo sa panahong kakailanganin nyo. Kasi wala akong masabi sa paraan ng pagpapalaki nila sa atin. Mahalin mo nang mabuti si ____, kasi sa pag-ibig lang ata hindi kalabisan ang sobra.

[thegyudguy]

I was planning to write about not wanting to have kids earlier but the universe has a different plan for my night, that is to get me drunk on a Tuesday night. Haha.