oldangryslytherin

[oldangryslytherin]

every time you make freezer food for dinner instead of buying takeout like you actually want you should earn two hundred dollars cash and a round of applause

[oldangryslytherin]

a funny thing about having a Problematic Blorbo is that you'll periodically come across a post along the lines of "um let's not forget that [Blorbo] is a bad person..." listing their various crimes, and if you have a modicum of intellectual honesty you find yourself nodding along and saying yeah it's true... but it's the greyness of their character that makes them so compelling... At the same time though you have a little Saul Goodman in your ear going "your honor in their defense: who cares like omfgggg who caresssssss like come onnnnnn"

[oldangryslytherin]

Got bored in class and drew The Boy

[oldangryslytherin]

fanfic titles are like “we have not touched the stars (nor are we forgiven)” and then you look at the tags & the first one is “anal fisting”

[oldangryslytherin]

Jonah: Oh no. How ever will I fund my Institute?    

Gertrude: Extortion?  

Jonah: I guess I have no choice-   

Gertrude: Using Beholding to play the stock market?   

Jonah (louder): -but to seduce Peter Lukas. After all-

Gertrude: Knowing the lottery numbers?  

Jonah: -THERE IS SIMPLY NO OTHER WAY.

[oldangryslytherin]

Good Omens where everything is the same except Crowley and Aziraphale look like this:

[oldangryslytherin]

cottagecore slice of life tomarry dads raising a metamorphmagus baby in the woods? more likely thank you might think

[oldangryslytherin]

Some Harry Potter stuff

[oldangryslytherin]

Birb

[oldangryslytherin]

PSA

Just a heads up, there are bots going around on AO3 accusing people of using AI. Considering the timing, this is likely AI bros' retaliation for AO3 users calling them out for scraping their work. Examples of what you might be sent:

Screenshots from here.

If you get a comment like this, just report for spam and delete.

Edit: apparently they're also using people's usernames to try to make the spam seem more authentic, so if you get a guest comment from someone you recognise, it's likely not them.

[oldangryslytherin]

[oldangryslytherin]

im laughing so hard because no matter what song you listen to 

spiderman dances to the beat

no matter what song ive been testing it and lauing my ass off for an hour

[oldangryslytherin]

was asked if there is any romance in vov and the answer is that these two men are operating on wildly different agendas and for that matter so is every other character

[oldangryslytherin]

Harry with glowey, evil, unnerving eyes yes please yumyum

i am not immune to the "character's eyes glow when they use their powers" trope

[oldangryslytherin]

My cousin wants me to draw one of the lotus eaters but she doesn't know I cant oh fuck

[oldangryslytherin]

Every unhinged fic writer needs an equally unhinged friend who "yes ands" their ideas and encourages them to write all their most far fetched and insane stories.

[oldangryslytherin]

@tomarrymortmicrofics | tyrant | 75 words

Voldemort storms into the library, his face dripping with what appears to be blood.

“Vee!” Harry immediately leaps to his feet and rushes over. “What happened to you? Are you bleeding?”

Voldemort shakes his head and draws his wand to spell it off with a grimace. “It's paint,” he grouses. “Our little tyrant doesn't like hearing the word ‘no’.”

Harry laughs and kisses his husband on the cheek. “Like father, like son,” he says, smiling.